FicWad

When we last left our Heroine:

He took hold of my hand and continued, "I want you to stay with me forever. I want you to be my wife in life and in death. Will you marry me Hermione?" He finally spilled the beans and pulled out a little velvet black box, opening it to reveal a platinum diamond ring.


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Chapter 6

I stared at the expensive ring and realized he was serious. He didn't want me to leave. He wanted me to be his wife and stay with him forever!

Suddenly, I jumped at him, flinging my arms around his neck and spontaneously kissing every inch of his face. "Yes," I screamed. "Yes, yes, yes!!"

He set the ring down next to us as I straddled his lap and continued to kiss him fervently. He wrapped his arms around my waist and waited for me to settle down, loving every bit of me expressing my joy.

I planted one last kiss on his nose and pulled back. I took deep breathes and saw his desire burning in his eyes. I leaned forward and rested my head on his chest, listening to his unsteady breathing and fast heart beat. I wrapped my arms around his waist as he pulled me closer to him.

I don't know how long we just sat there holding each other, but I soon found myself hungry. I chanced a glance upwards and somehow, I knew that Severus knew that I was ravenous.

Silently, Severus took my hand in his and led me down the small path until we came upon a place with a blanket and a basket. My breath hitched as I realized what was happening. 'He's such a closet romantic!'

I walked, dazed, with him and sat upon the blanket as Severus sat next to me and began to pull items out of the basket. I sat silently as I watched his elegant hands move about to make the perfect sandwich for the two of us. And the thing is, he could make a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich and I would still be mesmerized.

I watched as he put the slice of bread onto a plate and then fry the bacon with a flick of his wand and then placed it on the warm slice of whole grain bread. He placed another fluffy slice of bread on top and handed me the plate. I unconsciously took it and thanked him.

He-once again-nodded and began fixing his own delicious bacon sandwich. And we just stared into each other's eyes as we ate.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

After we had lunch and had vanished the basket and dirty dishes, Severus took my hand and we walked through the garden together in perfect silence.

Once we were back to the entrance of the greenhouse, he turned and faced me.

"Hermione, I want you to feel free to come here anytime you want. Soon enough, you'll have an equal share in owning it." He smiled and kissed the top of my head.

He opened the door and let my hand go with one last affectionate squeeze. Again, we traveled in silence all the way back to the dungeons. I could tell there was some sort of tension between us, which I did not understand. I replayed the whole day in my head and still could not figure out what I had done wrong. So as soon as the portrait swung close behind me I asked, "Severus is everything all right? Have I done something wrong? Please don't shut me out again."

He just turned around and looked at me. Then he gave me a half smile and said, "No. You haven't done anything wrong. Never you." And then he just kept on walking towards the settee. I followed him and sat in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Severus, do NOT shut me out. We have to work through our problems together now. Please, tell me what's bothering you. If I've done something, just tell me and I'll try to right it. I want to be able to tell you everything and work through it, not bottle it all up inside." I was looking at him fiercely now.

"Later love. Right now, I'm sure you have homework to do." His words reminded me of my excuse to the boys earlier this morning. I decided to get at least something true so I wouldn't have the guilt of completely lying to them, and so I could help them with theirs later.

"You're right. But we will talk later." I have him a quick kiss and went to the Library to retrieve my bag. I had decided to visit Professor Lupin to ask some questions I had about the N.E.W.T.'s.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

We were sitting on the couch together, enjoying some hot tea while we talked. I had come to Professor Lupin's office in view of getting some questions answered so I could leave quickly. After he called me out of class yesterday, I became leery of being alone with him. And if he truly fancied me, the way Severus thought he did, then I had just led him on with that kiss.

"Hermione are you alright? You look a little pale." As he said this I broke out of my revere and shook my head vigorously. I had time later to reflect on such things. Right now I was just having a conversation with an old friend. That was it.

He set his tea down on the coffee table and moved to sit closer to me, which made me nervous. Could Severus be right about this man...this professor?

"Hermione, about yesterday," Oh dear lord, "did you...ugh I'm not doing this right." He stopped and thought for a moment. I knew I should have left then, but I couldn't. I was frozen to my spot.

Unfortunately, the next thing I knew, Lupin's lips were glued to mine, but before I could pull away, Severus came sweeping into the room and the door flung open so wide it hit the wall with a loud bang. He had a look of outrage on his face that I had never saw before.

"So this is how you study?" he said in a deathly quiet tone.

"I..."

"No, I don't want to hear your petty excuses. This was just another scheme to make me look like a fool once again. I'm done. Good bye Miss Granger," he dismissed me in a cold tone that I hadn't heard in years. I abruptly stood up and reached for him as he swirled around to leave.

"Severus, please! Let me explain at the least!" I called after him desperately. But he would have none of it and kept on walking. I followed him, leaving my school things behind. At that point I didn't care. My entire life was at stake. I choked backed the tears that were starting to cloud my eyes.

"Severus, wait!" I yelled in hysterics. I could not keep the flood of tears dammed up any longer, so now they just flowed freely down my face. We were in the corridor now, and he was getting ready to turn the corner when I yelled at the top of my lungs, "You won't even hear me out! You coward! You're afraid..." He turned on me like the snake he truly was.

"Keep quiet. You don't want everyone to know of our previous affairs do you?" His voice was barely above a whisper, which reeked of venom.

I hiccupped and said, "It sounds as if it's you who doesn't want anyone to know of our affair." I was quick to realize my mistake and apologized. "Please, just hear me out. That's all I ask. I'm begging you, and then if you don't want anything to do with me afterwards fine. I'll leave you alone, but just hear me first." He gave an almost regretful look but he left me standing there and scurried off to our comfort zone...his comfort zone, once again.

I stood, rooted to my spot, crying. I couldn't believe that he just left me without even getting my side of the story! Surely he knows me better than that. I mean, I just said I would marry him! Does he think so low of me? Would he dare believe I would go fool around with another person after accepting to spend my life with him? I thought for sure he of all people, understood me better than that. I am always faithful to those I love. I never cheat! All these thoughts swarmed in my head like angry bees, each demanding the answer, but I knew I couldn't get them tonight. I might never find the answers to any of them now.

I dropped to the floor and slowly crawled to a dark corner and just started to ball my eyes out. I love him, and in a matter of hours, I gained more of him and then lost him completely. I couldn't handle it.

I had a nervous breakdown right there outside of Lupin's office.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

I sat there traumatized for hours. It wasn't until Harry tripped over me that I came soaring back into reality and started to cry again. Harry sat down next to me and asked me what was wrong. I just told him I didn't want to talk about it. And I was telling the truth. The only person I could talk to about it refused to listen to me.

"Hermione, you've been missing for a day now. Everyone was worried. Snape even helped to look for you." He gave me a half smile, trying his best to cheer me up. But only I knew that only one person was capable of pulling out of this hell hole now. So I returned his genuine smile with a fake one and got up to my feet.

It was dinner time, so we walked in silence to the Great hall. AS we entered, my instinct naturally told me to look for Severus. Therefore, I took a quick glance at Severus' usual chair and saw that he was staring at me too. I immediately looked away.

I don't know how long I sat there listening to the boys talk about quidditch before I was utterly fed up. I pushed my untouched food away from me and stood up. No one said anything as I calmly made my way out of the Great Hall.

I just aimlessly roamed the corridors. I stared blankly at the floor and hugged myself as I kept walking. I had absolutely no idea where my feet were taking me and I really didn't care, I just wanted to avoid going to my room alone.

I couldn't think clearly. I couldn't feel anything. I was both physically and emotionally numb. By the time I had woken form my trance, it was past curfew. I had lost track of the time as soon as I left the Great Hall, and I still had no idea what time it was.

When I came around I realized where I was, and I shivered. It was chilly. I was outside, at the exact that Professor Snape found me last year.

It was during our last two weeks of school. I was studying for my exams. Unfortunately, I was on the backside of the castle on the far end of the lake. This was off limits to students, but it was the only place I could think of that I would be isolated. I honestly didn't think any of the teachers went that far...ever.

-X-flashback-X-

I sat on the grass under a large oak tree next to the serene water. It was a beautiful sunny day. Everyone was outside enjoying their last few days with their friends before summer break...and exams. However, I, being the bookworm that I am, sat alone studying for my first exam: Potions.

Yet the beauty of nature that surrounded me was a huge distraction. All I wanted to do was study the scenery around me. I closed my eyes and leaned against the trunk of the tree for support. I don't know how long I sat there, soaking up the rays of the sun with my open text book on my lap, but the next thing I knew, there was a velvety voice speaking to me.

"Miss Granger, I am sure you know that you are beyond the student perimeter. Ten points from Gryffindor," he said.

I opened my eyes to see Professor Snape-clothed in his usual attire, yet without his frockcoat-standing before me. I was surprised to hear him take away only ten points. I expected more.

"Yes I know that professor, but this is the only spot I could think of that I could come and study in peace. I did not think I would cause any harm by doing so." I gathered my things together and made my way to leave.

"However," he said, stopping my movements, "seeing as you are already here, I don't' see why you can't stay, of course with adult supervision. It is dangerous for you to be wandering alone. You must travel with at least one other person, and if I catch you beyond the perimeter-without an adult-again, there will be greater consequences." As he said this, he sat down next to me, making himself comfortable under the tree. I sat back down dumbfounded. I couldn't believe my ears. Snape just said I could stay out of bounds, with him, and no detentions! And to top it all, he had only taken away ten points!! Ten! He was being unusually...well, nice.

He spoke first. "What are you studying Miss Granger?"

"Potions," I replied. He nodded his head.

There was an uneasy silence that followed. When the initial shock was over, I tried to read over my potion's textbook. But with Professor Snape not being a meter from me was another distraction.

"Is something puzzling you Miss Granger? You look distraught." I looked up from my book and could now feel the scowl on my face. I made the mistake of looking directly into his eyes. I could see a flicker of genuine concern before his mask was back in place.

-X-flashback-X-

That's where our relationship, of sorts, started. Right here. Funny how my subconscious would take me here, where I first knew that I would never be alone.

I sat down under that same tree and pulled my legs up to my chin for warmth. I couldn't cry anymore. I knew I was being stupid for wallowing but I couldn't help it.

I sat there until sunrise. I felt the sun on my face and I knew that life went on no matter what happened. It wouldn't just stop because something went wrong. And I knew that I couldn't just sit in self pity any longer, but I couldn't help it. The pain was just too great. I felt that I couldn't go on any longer.

Slowly I got up from the ground and made my way back towards the castle. I couldn't hide from everyone all the time. I had to face them sometime and I rather it be sooner rather than later.

As I entered the Great Hall, everyone fell silent and watched as I took my usual seat at Gryffindor table.

"Where have you been Hermione?" Ginny whispered harshly. "Everyone's been talking about your strange behavior, and your disappearances."

"I've been out. Where're Harry and Ron?"

"Out looking for you. That's all you're going to tell me 'I've been out'? I know you better than that. Something has your knickers in a knot and I'm not leaving you alone until you tell me what it is." I looked up at Ginny and could see the fiery determination in her eyes that every Weasley possessed. I knew that I would never get a moments peace until I told her everything, and besides, when I desperately needed to get away, Ginny could cover for me.

I sighed heavily and told her to follow me. We walked in silence until we reached my bedroom.

"Okay, tell me everything," she said, taking a seat next to me on my bed. So I proceeded to tell her everything, from that day under the tree, to our engagement (by which I was in full hysterics now) and after I calmed down, I told her about the awkward predicament Severus found me in. Ginny was supportive the whole time, nodding her head in the right places, and patting my back when I began to cry and was thoroughly excited about our engagement, but then furious when she heard that Severus wouldn't even listen to my explanation. We just sat there for a long time, while she comforted me.

"Hermione, all you need to do is march down there and demand that he hears you out before he decides what he wants to do. I am, however, a little disappointed that you never told me of your relationship until now." Ginny was so kind, and in many ways, just like her mother.

"You don't know him like I do. It has to be him who wants to talk. If I just go down there, he could leave me and barricade himself in his quarters. Knowing Severus, he probably has changed his wards and passwords so I have no access to him at all. He's stubborn and won't listen. You heard how he just left me in the corridor," I sobbed. I knew Ginny was right though. I needed to talk to him...desperately.

"Don't fret. We'll come up with a plan for him to initiate the talk. Just give me a moment to think." She got up and started to pace the room. I sat lazily and watched her as she bit her bottom lip: a sign that she was truly concentrating.

"You say that he said that he loved you and that he would never let any harm come to you?" she finally asked after about a half hour of pacing.

"Yes," I replied.

"Well then! It's simple really; all you need to do is sulk more and pretend not to eat anything, and fall behind in your studies. If he loves you like he says he does, he will notice and won't be able to stand to watch you waste away any longer. He then will pull you aside and demand a talk. It's perfect!" she said with enthusiasm and plopped back down on my bed. The only problem is that I probably wouldn't be acting. I'll probably feel like that forever, unless something changed between us.

I comply and soon afterwards, Ginny leaves. I lay on my bed staring up at my canopy, thinking. I already was probably two days behind on my homework, since I had no intentions of going to classes that day, especially potions. I had no idea when I would be prepared to enter that part of the castle again. As I continued to think, my eyes drifted shut and I was soon asleep.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

The following two days proceeded just as Ginny's plan instructed, with the exception of acting. I really was not eating, and I was falling dreadfully behind in all of my classes. All anyone ever saw me do was roam about the castle corridors with a blank look on my face.

Every so often I would eat a bite of toast at breakfast, or some type of dessert at dinner, but I never ate anything during supper. I mainly moved my food around so it looked as if I ate a bunch. I was losing weight, but frankly I didn't care. I attended all of my classes except potions-I still wasn't ready to face Severus yet-and I never did any of the homework assigned. How could I? What did it matter now that I probably had no future with the one man that I truly love?

I never paid attention to where my feet took me. I just let them lead me as my mind wandered. This time I was heading downwards and I knew where my feet where taking me. Somehow my subconscious knew I was ready to confront Severus, but I couldn't quite accept that as of yet. I was preparing to turn and leave when I moved too fast and blackness filled my vision. That was the last thing I remembered.

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

When I came around, I was in familiar surroundings. A fire was light in the fireplace and it was the only source of light in the room. I looked around expecting to see the person who obviously brought me here. And then a shadow in the corner of the room moved and came towards me.

Severus stepped into the light and looked me directly in the eyes.

"We need to talk," he said.

TBC...

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A/N: Please R&R!! But, again, honestly think about what you're saying before you flame me...and give some constructive critisism instead of "that just sucked!" or whatever. Thanks!
Ryann