FicWad

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; if I did I can think of much more interesting uses to put Itachi to then telling a story.

You must hate me, and I can't say I blame you. I am a murder and a traitor. I killed my entire family, expect my brother. Would you believe it if I told you I did for him? If I told you that that I destroyed my clan to save my brother? I'm sure your answer is no, but I have a story, everyone does. Let me tell you and the perhaps you won't hate me so much.

I am Itachi Uchiha and this is my story.

The world of a ninja is a harsh one. There is little time for childhood. How can there be? Killing is an adult's job. Still I can't help but at least hope not everyone grows up the way I did.

'What,' you may be asking, 'is so hard about being the Uchiha family prodigy?'

I have an answer that is rather sort, only two words, a name in fact. Those two words are; that a name is, Fugaku Uchiha.

To this day the dark frightens me, in the dark I can see him at the foot of my bed, leering down at me, the bitter scent of sake waft from him. This is a man of exactly two faces; his seemly permanent frown and that horrid leer that only I see. He bends over the bed and his soggy breath blows into my face. I don't move, I barely even breathe, maybe if I pretend to be asleep he'll leave; but I know he won't, he never does.

Even now with the man rotting in his grave, I can't stand the smell of sake. Its bitter scent reminds me of him, of the way his hands pulled at my blankets and bed clothes. I can still feel those phantom hands trace my body. I can still feel the tears of shame that fill my eyes as my tiny body responses to his touch.

I implore Kisame not to drink, I have some vary viable reasons, but the real reason the one I never share is that the scent of alcohol makes me feel a sort of filthiness that water won't wash away.

"You are my son indeed" words my brother always wanted to hear, words I prayed he would never hear. How could he know what they meant? How could he know that those words were nothing to be desired? He couldn't.

I was only 10 when my brother turned 5, the age I knew it would all start, but I swore that I would protect him. I swallowed my pride and became compliant, almost willing submitting myself to the sake monster's desires, anything to keep him from Sasuke. But it wasn't enough; somehow I always know it wouldn't be. Perhaps it was my fault that man began to notice Sasuke, but it hurt to see how much Sasuke loved him. I foolishly thought that I could make him see Sasuke as a son and me as his... even now I don't know what he thought of my as.

By my foolish actions of calling attention to Sasuke, my obedience was no longer enough. He wanted a challenge and though that Sasuke might offer one. Being submissive had failed. So at night, as a guard, I stood at Sasuke door. I still remember the words that froze his steps,

"If you go in there, if you ever even think of touching him, I'll kill you." The monster gave me an appraising look.

"It appears my favorite toy isn't quite broken yet." He slurred and turned and stumbled away. Only then did I release my hold on my sword.

'So why,' you ask, 'did I kill my family?'

I killed them because they knew/. They /knew what was happening to me, and what would happen to Sasuke. They knew and did nothing. There came a time when everyone began to avoid me. I could see the repulsion in all their eyes; even my best friend, Shisui's. They despised me for something that was never my fault and I grew to return the feeling.

All but my mother, my sweet mother always there to comfort me after he left, always with clean sheets and a soft song to lull me to sleep. For her death and for her death only I might have felt regret. Might have if I hadn't known that her spirit was already dead. Broken by the man who called himself my father. I knew she was just pretending to be the vibrant woman she must have once been. Pretending, like me, for little Sasuke's sake.

It was my mother in her distant way that sent me the message that my threat had lost its potency. Words spoken to Sasuke when he though no one was listening as he ate he breakfast before school.

"When he's alone with me, your father only talks about you." My mother, despite everything, was an excellent ninja and I had done nothing mask my presence.

That when I met Orochimaru, all he wanted was my body in exchange for a way to save my brother. I was an expert on giving up my body, so the concept didn't bother me.

So perhaps I was wrong, perhaps there were better was, but this is that ways I choose and there is no going back.

Beta: Evil by Definition

AN: I was struck with idea and 10:30 pm after consuming 4 pop tarts. I was originally not going to post, but I kind of like the way it turned out.

AN: to Fugaku Uchiha: I am sorry, it was Itachi idea talk to him about your potential OOC-ness.