Categories > Celebrities > Dir en grey

Paper Heart

by JediLeah 1 review

Kaoru/Kyo; Kaoru is ripping Kyo's paper heart.

Category: Dir en grey - Rating: PG - Genres: Angst, Romance - Characters: Die, Kaoru, Kyo, Shinya, Toshiya - Published: 2005-10-18 - Updated: 2005-10-18 - 1331 words - Complete

I like the idea of the heart being as fragile as paper. Because I think that it is. Mine is, at least, and I wish some stupid people I know would freakin' realize that the slightest little tug could tear it! sobfest

Paper Heart

Kyo crushed the paper cup in his hand, continuing to squeeze the life out of it as he stared at Kaoru and Toshiya. He wasn't even sure when it happened, but it had and half the time he couldn't bear it. It used to be that Kaoru and Toshiya would just flirt and fanservice. One day, it suddenly became more than that. The picture of Kaoru, his arm slung around Toshiya, the brave words, "We're lovers," escaping his smiling lips, played as though on repeat in the vocalist's sadistic mind. He wanted to hate Kaoru so badly, but he couldn't. He knew Kaoru had no idea of his feelings. Yes, the almighty band leader hurt Kyo every single day, but Kyo continued loving him as though it weren't so. Sometimes, it drove him insane with rage.

"Oi, Kyo! Let's practice!" Kaoru called, apparently done with his little make-out session with Toshiya.

Kyo sighed and walked up to the mic. He shut his eyes, preparing for the music to begin--the beautiful music that would drown out all of his troubles, make them non-existent, if just for a short time. The lights flickered as a crash of thunder sounded. A storm had been raging all day, but it was fall and therefore not a surprise to the band. They almost didn't notice the lightning and pouring rain anymore.

"Okay, everyone, 'Fukai' from the top," Kaoru said.

They got started and for a glorious minute, everything went perfectly. Suddenly, with a defeaning boom of thunder, the power went out, sending them into a world of darkness and silence. And it was quiet, for a brief moment. Then Die's voice spoke clearly. "I swear, it wasn't me this time."

Kyo shook his head, remembering the time when the power had gone off and it was his fault. Kaoru had been furious. He'd yelled a lot, and almost threw Die against the wall. Kyo cursed Shinya for fearfully speaking up and causing him not to. He loved seeing Kaoru look so powerful.

"What do we do?" The drummer said in the present time, causing Kyo to come out of his thoughts.

"Make out!" Toshiya could be heard exclaiming.

Kaoru laughed good-naturedly. "As fun as that would be, I think first we should get some kind of light in here. I'm going to call Yoshiki and ask him what he thinks we should do."

Kyo could practically hear Toshiya pouting. The door opened and he assumed Kaoru had left to find flashlights and call their producer. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, sitting down on the floor. Die tried to engage he and Toshiya in conversation, but neither were really talkative at the moment, so he resorted to mercilessly teasing Shinya. Kyo was sure something else was going on, though, when Shinya's protests turned into giggles and he gasped out, "Die! Don't touch me there!" Die just laughed devilishly and Shinya's giggles returned.

Kyo wanted to murder them both. It wasn't fair that they could be so happy together. It wasn't fair that Kaoru and Toshiya could be happy together. He hated them all.

The sound of the door opening reached his ears and a yellowish beam of light filtered into the room. "Yoshiki says the power might be out for a little while and we should just stay put until it comes back on," Kaoru said, coming in and sitting up against the wall.

Kyo averted his gaze when the flashlight revealed Toshiya crawling seductively over to the object of his affection. He turned toward Die and Shinya, mentally berating himself. They were making out, of course. He stood up swiftly and walked from the room.

He blindly found his way outside, where there was at least natural light. The sky was a dark grey and the rain pounded furiously, causing his injured ear a numb sort of pain. It was too wet to light a cigarette, so he just stood in the rain, getting thoroughly soaked before he'd been out there a minute.

It wasn't long before the door behind him opened and he heard shoes clacking on the wet pavement. He knew exactly who it was, and was proven right when Kaoru came into view beside him. Kaoru was the only one who continued to care for Kyo and be there for him through every little thing. He couldn't count on anyone but Kaoru. But Kaoru wasn't his. His eyes fogged over with tears and in anger at himself, he kicked the pavement. He felt an arm around him and a warmth was pressing into him. Still, he couldn't bring himself to look up at Kaoru.

"What's wrong?" Kaoru asked after a short silence.

"Nothing," Kyo spat.

Kaoru turned and held Kyo at arm's length. "Don't lie to me. I can always tell when something's wrong."

"But you can't guess what it is," Kyo growled, hating himself for sounding so mean.

Kaoru smiled softly, and a little sadly. "Do you like Shinya?"

Kyo thought his eyes might pop out of his head. "What!? Like /Shinya/? Of course not, you dumbass! I like--" He stopped himself just in time.

"Who?" Kaoru pressed.

Kyo shook his head and tried to pull away, but Kaoru held his shoulders firmly. "Can't tell you," he mumbled.

Kaoru looked visibly hurt. "But...Kyo, you can tell me anything."

Kyo wanted to run away, but his legs wouldn't move. Should he just tell Kaoru? The older man's gaze was piercing him. With a shuddered sigh, he looked down and said what he'd been making himself keep inside for ages, or so it felt. "I love you. I-I never told you before because...I was afraid. And now you're with Toshiya and I've realized that I'm not strong enough...I feel like my heart is made of paper and everytime I see you, it gets crushed just a little more..."

It sounded dumb coming from his own mouth. He hated himself for coming off so sappy. A couple of minutes ticked by and he could still feel Kaoru's hands on his shoulders, but the band leader hadn't said anything. Finally, he couldn't take the suspense anymore and looked up, ready to chew Kaoru out for being so silent. "What the--"

Kaoru cut him off with a kiss. A /kiss/. Kyo couldn't stop his eyes from shutting, or his arms from wrapping around Kaoru's firm torso. It was long and passionate, and when it ended he just stared up at Kaoru's beautiful features, panting slightly. Kaoru smiled down at him. "I had no idea. I've been in love with you, but I thought you had no interest in me at all. Toshiya is just who I fell back on. I'm so sorry for hurting you." He kissed Kyo's forehead lovingly.

"What is /this/?"

Toshiya. Kyo and Kaoru looked over to see him standing in front of the door, hands on his hips. Kaoru released Kyo and approached him. "I'm sorry, Toshiya. I love Kyo. I know, I sound like the biggest asshole for saying that, but...well, we should never have happened anyway. I was crazy to want this, even for awhile. You'll be okay. You're the beautiful Toshiya." He offered a small smile.

Toshiya returned it with a nod. "Yes...I will eventually." He looked at Kyo and stuck his tongue out. "Lucky little warumono."

Kyo really couldn't help but grin, his paper heart brimming with happiness.

~The End~

Author's Notes: This has absolutely nothing to do with that song by All-American Rejects. I hate that song.

This was my entry for the 2005 Fanfiction Challenge at the Kyo x Kaoru Community on LJ. It was very challenging to keep it 1,250 words or less! +_+

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