Categories > Original > Fantasy > A different Cinderella Story

It all starts...

by someonerandom 2 reviews

Basically, I took the Cinderella fairy tale and had some fun with it. This is my first fic, so please be nice. But review!I need to know how I can improve

Category: Fantasy - Rating: PG - Genres: Fantasy, Humor - Published: 2007-04-11 - Updated: 2007-04-11 - 1335 words

*Once upon a time there was a beautiful maiden by the name of-
HOLD IT! Now that line is SO old it creaks!
Oh, and I suppose you could tell the story better?
Duh! I was there when one of these happened. You're just reading out of a book!
Well go ahead then. YOU tell it.
I will.

Thank you! Okay, now for the story.

I guess the tale begins when Ella and I were born. Me and my sister are twins. I was born first, healthy, loud and kicking!(That's what I'm told anyway) Then came my sister. She didn't have such an easy time coming into the world. First of all, the cord that linked us to our mother in the womb was wrapped around her neck. They had to cut it off and pound her chest for her to breathe(Once again, sources. I don't actually remember or anything weird like that!) Our mother died three days after we were born. Our father was grief stricken. After that we were even more important to him.
Even though I suppose we were supposed to be identical, I've always been bigger than Ella, don't know why. Could be all of my "boyish" activities. You know: riding, jousting, weapons practise, riding, hawking, oh yeah, did I mention riding? All the fun stuff basically. However, once you get past the height and muscle I have on her, we do look alike. Both of us have thick red-gold hair, (Though mine is a little more red than hers which believe me has given the gossiping grannies no end of pleasure to point out) and blue-green eyes set against creamy skin.
Me and my sister are very different personality wise as well. You see while the servants say "Oh that Crystal. She has the name of a gem, but she's far too spirited for any good man to want her" (Oh and for the record, I hate people stressing about how I'm named after some pretty rock! Everybody I like, or frankly is scared of my wrath, just calls me Chrys) they'd say "Oh isn't that Ellenor lovely! She's so beautiful and polite and proper. She'll find herself a wonderful husband!" Honestly. That was all those women ever talked about. Anyway, while I was out doing the fun and "boyish" things wearing a comfy tunic and breeches, my sister was inside dressed in fine gowns learning lady-like things such as fine dancing, etiquette, fashion, need I go on? The two things we could agree on in that manner were animals and knowledge. We both loved animals and enjoyed learning. However, even there we varied. I'm into the maths, sciences and english literature, and she's into art, music and also english, but romantic poetry. We were also both really into helping people.
Oh yeah other than that we were complete opposites, but we still loved each other a lot. So for the first 11 years or so of our life was pretty happy. Then They came.

My wonderful father thought that I needed someone to "tame" me and that Ella needed a real "mother" so he went off and married a fellow widower like himself, or almost anyway. Madame Laea (Don't be fooled by the sweet gentle name, she's trouble!) also had two daughters. One a year older and one the same age as us. Annalise was the elder one. She had honey-blond hair and piercing icy-blue eyes. She was maybe a little too thin and pale, in my opinion, to look 100% healthy, but then again, that seemed to be the style. Her sister, Ruby had auburn hair that she went to great lengths with and was a little chubbier than her sister. Both were conniving, jealous, spoiled and neither of them were the sharpest tool in the shed either. However, they weren't the ugliest of people appearance-wise. No where near Ella's quiet beauty, but not that bad, just to be fair.
Madame may also have been beautiful in her day. With high cheek bones, steely black eyes and flowing dark hair with plenty of grey in it, who knows.
Anyway we all lived together for a year. From the very beginning I was suspicious of those three and their evil, and I mean evil, little Pekenise Lucious, or Lutty as I like to call him. The little devil terrorized the cat, the canaries and sparrows Ella was so fond of as well as the little mice, attacked my Hawk, nipped at my Horse's heels and framed my collie Angel for everything he could! The hags weren't much better. In the year before my Father "mysteriously" died of an illness, he began to spend more of his time and affections on our step-family and ignored Ella and I more and more. Now while our stepmother and sisters started out pleasant enough, they soon showed their true nature the moment our father was pronounced dead...

We were waiting outside for the Doctor to come out of Father's room. When he did so he was shaking his head.
"You can go see him, but I'm afraid he's not got much time." Ella ran in as fast as she could and knelt down beside Father's bed.
"Elenor" he rasped as he took her small hand in his own shakily.
"I am here father." she said. He smiled.
"I am glad my little dove. Is your sister there too?"
"Yes father" I replied.
"Good. Now, I want to see my wife and other daughters." Our step family pushed us out of the way and I held Ella as she weeped silently into my shoulder and watched in disgust how our dad rattled on with his words of love and tenderness towards his new wife and "other daughters", while completely forgetting the ones who had taken care of him and loved him long before they come. I doubted they even cared. Stepmother was crying crocodile tears, I just knew it and Ruby and Annalise were terrible actors.
Then father heaved his last breath and closed his eyes. He was gone.

Turns out dear old Dad had left no mention of his two biological daughters in the will except for us to have what we were left from our mother, oh yeah, and that we belonged to Stepmother now. Well, madame completely ignored the first part, taking whatever our mother had left us from us that we couldn't hide from her, however, she followed the second part religiously and to the letter.
"Now" she said to us the day after the will was read, "Whilst you two live under my roof, you will earn your keep!"
"What? B-but Stepmother why?" Ella stammered quietly as Ruby and Annelise thrust a pile of rags at us.
"Because you are mine now." Stepmother purred. "It's all legal and binding. I can do whatever I want with you. Now, you two shall no longer waste time on clothes and jewellery. That is above you. You shall also now sleep on the floor where there's room. Perhaps by the stove. And since the staff we now have is down to three(She fired everyone she hadn't brought with her) you shall join their ranks and shall take orders from them, however, my orders and that of my girl's orders, come first." Ella looked perilously close to tears again the poor thing. I always had been the Spirited one, and the grief over father's death had rattled her even more. So it looked like it was up to me to stand up for our rights.
"Why should we?" I said rebelliously.
"Because we own you thick head!" Ruby sneered
"Yeah, we aren't scared of you! Your lower than servants you can't do anything to us!" Annelise put in. I turned a cold, angry stare on them.
"You sure about that?" I asked in a dangerous voice. That sent them running behind their mamma. Unfortunately, the joy of getting to them was short lived.
One thing was for sure though. This. Meant. WAR!
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