Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Letting Go
DISCLAIMER: Not mine -Kishimoto-sensei can have all of the rabid screaming, stalking, glomping, mooshing fans. I just want to play puppeteer with his characters.
WARNINGS: Check out the other chapters for most of this one, because I'm too damn lazy to copy/paste 'em in here. The only new warning I've got to add is "randomness with a reason". Sounds scary, doesn't it?
CHAPTER SUMMARY: All I have to say here is: "let the chaos begin!"
Chapter 3: And the Fun Begins
"Looks like Sakura's gotten stronger," Sasuke said nonchalantly, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his recovered and re-sheathed katana. "Unlike you."
With that, Sasuke allowed his smirk to become a little more apparent before he vanished in a puff of smoke of his own, leaving a bewildered, confused, hurt, shocked and angry Naruto in his wake.
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It took Naruto a couple of seconds to regain his bearings, and when he did, it was accented with a howl of "Take that BACK, you fucking bastard!" and a sudden choice to make a couple of Kage Bunshins that would help him find his wayward ex-teammate again. With a few clipped words containing instructions, Naruto and his three clones went sprinting off in different directions.
To say that Naruto was angry would be a bit of an understatement. Once again, he found himself completely and utterly FURIOUS. Did Sasuke not realize how fucking HARD it was to actually SAY something like that -and then not even be allowed to FINISH!? Hell, he didn't even really need to ask himself that question to get an answer: no, he didn't. Not by a long shot. And why was that? Because he never fucking said anything HIMSELF?! Grant, Naruto himself was more of an emotional-connection/understanding type of person, and a lot of the time he never verbally said what he was feeling, but more of showed it, but STILL, at least he gave the whole "say what you feel" crap a shot! And what had he gotten for his efforts? The insensitive bastard walking out on him when he was saying the most important part of all, that's what!
'So,' he decided. 'If Sasuke's not going to listen to me on his own, I'm going to immobilize him so that he'll do it anyway.' If 'immobilizing' Sasuke meant beating him to a bloody pulp and then saying the last of his piece, then Sasuke was going to get beaten into a bloody pulp. At this point, Naruto didn't care much about what condition he would be in -not to mention he was gaining a sort of sadistic pleasure out of imagining what Sasuke would look like being beaten into that bloody pulp, even without Kyuubi's help.
Prodding ahead with small tendrils of chakra, he searched the areas ahead of him for any traces of Sasuke's chakra. He concentrated on it so much that he almost forgot to pay attention to where he was going.
This was especially true when one of his clones finally managed to distantly detect the bastard's signature. He actually chose to omit paying attention to where he was going completely in favor of doubling back and sprinting as fast as he could in the direction his clone had indicated to in a way not unlike that of a madman.
As he ran, Naruto failed to notice as the hairline cracks in the floor slowly become bigger and more defined or the fact that he was passing more and more corpses by the minute. He even neglected to register how the stench of blood, battle and death assaulted his senses, which was really saying something because his now-frequent contact with Kyuubi had sensitized them roughly about 4.27 times more than even the most sensually accomplished human should be physically able to do.
No, Naruto reacted the way he did every time Sasuke was brought into a situation and unconsciously shut everything else down to focus on him and him only. He wasn't about to let him run away so easily this time. No way in hell.
His more or less blind wandering lead him to what could only be described as a collapsed cavern.
When it had still been standing, it had probably been rather grand, in a creepy sort of way. It had to be at least 50 feet deep and 100 wide and long, so now it looked more like a large bowl that had been engraved out of the land than anything. If there had been any furniture there, it wasn't in plain view. The midday sun was shining down and revealing the bluish-white color of what used to be the basket weave patterned walls. They were now only shapeless, unattractive heaps of rubble.
There were enormous fissures sprawling out from an equally enormous crater, along with several other, smaller craters and less noticeable cracks spider-webbing across the patterned floor. The sounds, sights, and smells of fighting were now blatantly obvious; one would have to be a senseless idiot to not notice them now.
And of course, Naruto didn't see any of that; he had eyes for only one of the fights that were still taking place before him: between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru.
And now, Sasuke.
It was obvious that the three Sannin were wounded, low on chakra, and tired -they had been fighting for HOW long now? Naruto didn't know, but he did know that he'd never seen the old hag or Ero-sennin this exhausted before -albeit Orochimaru was in worse shape than Jiraiya and Tsunade, but it wasn't by much. Naruto didn't know how that had happened, because by all rights, if two of the Legendary Sannin decided to gang up on the third, then said third Sannin should be quite dead. Something must have happened to even the playing field -either that, or Orochimaru was a hell of a lot stronger than Naruto had ever given him credit for...
Well, whatever had happened to make things turn out like this, Naruto knew that if one fresh fighter was added into the mix, then whomever aforementioned fighter chose to support would be the victors of this battle.
And Sasuke had sided with Orochimaru.
He was currently locked in close kunai-to-katana combat with Jiraiya. How he was managing to hold his own like this was a miracle in itself -either that or Jiraiya was REALLY worn out. Tsunade was backing Orochimaru up with several sets of complex, chakra-laden strikes in such a way that he and his apprentice were only a few feet away from fighting back-to-back. Despite their position, events already seemed to be turning their favor.
'That BASTARD!' Naruto thought vengefully as he began charging into the fray himself, his mind completely set on ripping Sasuke away from what he was doing and beating him within an inch of his life, primarily using Rasengan. Here they were, risking their damned lives to try and save HIS ass, and here he was turning their actions against them without even a second friggen' thought about it. Disrespecting and humiliating him Naruto could handle -it was to be expected- but this, this was the last straw.
Sasuke was going down.
Unfortunately, Naruto never got his chance to bring Sasuke down. He had almost finished making his way towards the traitor when there was a pause, a scuffle of feet against cracked floor, and an all-too-familiar shout of "Chidori!"
Naruto was struck deaf by the shrill screeching of thousands of birds, blind by an unearthly glow of blue-white light, and off-balance by the powerful after-shock waves of wind, rubble and chakra. His nostrils were burning with the smell of burned hair and flesh and his skin and clothing spotted with droplets of blood, but he didn't notice any of it as he stared dumbly at where Ero-sennin, the old hag, and Sasuke were standing stock-still in front a particularly bloody heap named Orochimaru just a few scant feet in front of him. It seemed too surreal -random, sudden, whatever- to be true, but there was really now doubt about it: the snake Sannin was now dead. Nobody, not even one of the Legendary Sannin, could survive a blow like that, so Naruto supposed that made the old pedophile very dead.
For a while, nobody moved, nobody spoke, hardly even dared to so much as breathe -that is, until Tsunade said in a raspy, dehydrated voice that was barely louder than a whisper, "Uchiha, will you surrender now and allow us to take you back to the village as an unharmed prisoner, or will you put up a fight?" Somehow, despite the volume and how exhausted she sounded, she still somehow managed to make her voice ring with strength and authority.
At that, Naruto began to barge forward again. Negotiations be damned, he wasn't leaving until he'd slammed his fist into Sasuke's face one or ten times. But again, his efforts were foiled when Jiraiya reached out and yanked him back by the collar of his jacket and twisted both of his arms painfully behind his back. "You'll get your chance, runt, don't worry about it," he intoned tiredly between pants. "Just not now."
Hearing those words placated Naruto a little, but not nearly enough to quell his burning desire to mash his ex-teammate into porridge. He continued to thrash and curse in the hold he was in, even though he knew that it wouldn't do anything.
When Sasuke simply looked at Tsunade and didn't reply, she took it as an affirmative and motioned for one of the newly appeared ANBU to go up and confiscate his katana and bind his wrists together with chakra-infused rope. To prevent him from making hand-seals, they were tied back-to-back and the knot both tight and complex. All the while, Sasuke watched placidly and made no move to resist what was being done to him. In Naruto's eyes, Sasuke was TOO placid. It was almost as if he were simply playing his role in some sort of bigger plan and didn't give a shit if he acted it out convincingly or not.
For some reason, that thought unnerved Naruto, and it was in ways he couldn't explain.
.o.0.O.0.o.0.O.0.o.
A/N: first off, this is the random part I mentioned earlier. It isn't what it looks like and will be explained in the later chapters, but I put it like this for plot purposes. Bear with me please.
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Skyler C. Dwelar was tired. She'd barely slept at all since she'd spent most of the past night watching anime on the computer (honestly, who DIDN'T?). As a result, she'd overslept. For the purpose of saving time, she had decided to omit eating breakfast to run at break-neck speed out the front door in hopes of being able to catch the bus. She was in such a rush that it didn't even occur to her that she hadn't changed out of her pajamas or made herself decent enough for public viewing.
She was presently running across the street and had just about made it to the bus stop when
-BAM!
'Shit! What the hell was THAT?!' Skyler thought frantically. 'Hey it's kinda breezy and... hold it. Why don't I feel pain? ...Wait, what's that thing down there?' Her eyes narrowed as she squinted at the distant blob of red and blue.'Shit that's ME! Oh my god! I was HIT by my own school bus! ...God, am I really dead?! Ah, this SUCKS! ...But being hit and killed by my own school bus, now that's really kinda ironic...'
"I think it would be ironic if we were all made of iron..." a male's voice droned on in a dreamy fashion. (A/N: prize ficlet of your choice to anyone who can guess where this quote came from.)
"What the hell was that...?" Skyler said to herself as she warily began looking around for the speaker.
"Me -duh," the voice replied, as if it were obvious. A small winged female appeared on her shoulder, sitting cross-legged and looking more or less sheepishly amused. She had little white wings that were only a little longer than what her arm-span would have been if they had been outstretched, slightly tanned skin; big, brownish-green eyes; and blonde hair that just barely brushed her shoulders in a distinctly boyish fashion. She was wearing an off-white Japanese school-girl-type shirt with an embroidered heart on the left breast pocket and dark, almost skirt-like shorts that came down just past her knees. Her shoes looked like ballet slippers, complete with crisscrossing ribbons traveling partway up her legs.
In truth, the only thing that Skyler really found strange about her (besides the wings, of course) was the fact that she had a rather masculine voice, even though she was obviously... well, a she.
Skyler stared at the little person perched oh-so-casually on her shoulder. "Who the hell are you?!" she demanded indignantly. "Are you like some shinigami or grim reaper or something?"
"No," the little winged person snapped in an affronted tone. "I'm your guardian angel."
"What the hell?! If you're my guardian angel, then why didn't you HELP me? I just fuckin' DIED over there!?" Now Skyler wasn't a very angry or violent person by nature, but dying had made her somewhat edgy. This was all so ...random! If she could die and still be consciously aware of herself, and if she could talk to someone who was supposedly her 'guardian angel', then who knew what would -or COULD, for that matter- come next?
"Uh... yeah..." the little person began, smiling and giggling sheepishly. "Sorry about that. I promise I'll make it up to you, okay? Just say the word and you can have anything you want."
"Like what? Be specific." Just because Skyler was miffed didn't mean that she didn't mean that she was miffed enough to not take advantage of the potentially profitable situation.
"Anything."
"Okay..." Skyler said slowly, pausing for a little while to contemplate what she wanted to get from this chick. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers and declared, "I've got it: make me a god."
"Fine," she said simply, completely unruffled by what even Skyler would admit was an unreasonable request.
"WHAT?!" Skyler sputtered. She had asked for it, yes, but that didn't mean that she expected to actually be made a GOD. "That's not like... against the rules or sommin'?"
"No..." she replied slowly, shaking her head in kind and looking at the larger girl as if she was particularly stupid. "Why would it be? -Actually, now that you mention it... everyone seems to think that -but nobody ever asks, so we don't have many gods..."
Skyler sighed, still somewhat half-mourning the loss of her life. "...Well, I guess this whole dying thing won't suck so much now that I'm gonna be made a god..."
"Well, you're actually a descendant of a god -so it won't be THAT hard to make you one... and I AM sorry about not saving you and all... -wait! Are you sad and shit because you won't ever see your friends and family again, or just because you just lost your life? I mean, it doesn't really matter either way, but I'm kinda curious."
"What life?" Skyler retorted pointedly. "I never did anything -I didn't even have a lot of friends. My family will miss me, but they'll get over it eventually -and bus drivers will remember to drive safer..."
"Actually your death was your own fault," her guardian angel contradicted blandly. "...Or some sick sort of weird coincidence... thing..."
"What? That wasn't SUICIDE!" Skyler objected loudly. She knew she wasn't the smartest person out there, but she wasn't so stupid as to get herself killed on purpose! "...Wait a minute... did you say I was a DESCEDANT of a god?! Since when were my parents GODS?"
"Oh heavens no, not your PARENTS!" the little person laughed out loud. "Your fathers' aunts' sister-in-law, twice removed cousins' daughters' stepmother."
"You mean great-aunt Ginny?" Skyler asked blankly.
"...Yeah."
"The alcoholic? You sure 'bout that?"
"Yeah. She's a lesser god of festivals and parties... and she IS quite the party animal, if I remember correctly..."
"Okay..." Skyler said slowly, trying to wrap her mind around all of this new information -and more or less succeeding at it. "So why you weren't there to take care of me all of these years? It's not like my life was traumatic or depressing or anything, but it was BORING. Couldn't you have at least done something to help me before I died?"
"Uh... yeah; sorry about that," the little female apologized guiltily (again), another sheepish grin forming. "I just figured you had an okay life you didn't need me there to screw it up..."
"Yeah. I've only just met you and I can see how that might have been problematic..."
"Exactly!" the guardian angel perked up almost instantly and her tone became business-like. "So now about that god thing-" she began, but Skyler cut her off.
"What, some weird restrictions or rules or something?" She KNEW something like this would happen. Nothing good EVER happened without there being SOMETHING like this...
"No. No weird rules or restrictions -just some BASIC rules and SENSIBLE restrictions..."
"Shit! Do I have to do something good for mankind?!"
"Only if that's the kind of God you want to be," the little female assured her. "Speaking of which, what kind DO you want to be, anyway?"
Skyler didn't even have to think about her answer to THAT question. "Trickst-" she began.
"Don't you want to-?" her little companion began at the same time.
"No," Skyler said firmly. "I want to be a Trickster God -they always have more fun."
"True," her companion allowed. "But you weren't really much of a prankster..."
"No, I wasn't," Skyler agreed. "Because then I was but a mere mortal -now I'm a fucking GOD! I can really screw with people now!"
"Woot! Now we're talking!" she cheered excitedly, pumping a fist up and down even as she jumped to her feet. "Got anyone you hate in particular or just humanity as a whole?" she began rubbing her hands together, her expression conniving.
"Well, I haven't really thought about that..." Skyler admitted, not bothering to hold back her own calculating grin. After a moment of thought, she said, "not really. Both I guess..."
"Good, 'cuz I've got some ideas that I think you might like..."
"Wait a sec. Pause, rewind, and freeze!" Skyler suddenly said, effectively cutting off what promised to be a long-winded rant. "Aren't you a guardian ANGEL? Aren't you supposed to want to HELP people and NOT mess up their lives and relationships?"
"What?" she blinked confusedly, until comprehension suddenly dawned on her small face. "Oh yeah, THAT... well, I was kinda forced into this job. You know the family business deal? Yeah, it was that. I wanted to be a poltergeist, but NO... I had to be a 'guardian angel'," she explained in disgust, a scowl twisting the corners of her mouth.
There was a pause as Skyler took the time to absorb this information. Finally, she said, "oh. That makes a lot of sense..." there was another pause in which nobody knew what to say, but Skyler broke the silence again by saying. "Perfect. So I have pissy angel, Godly powers I can use to screw with people -and no one to torture..." She let her voice trail off in annoyance.
Her new angel friend perked up again at the mention of screwing with the lives of others. "Well, I really DO have some ideas..."
"Hit me," Skyler said gamely.
"Okay," she began with relish. "You know that show you watched all night -Naruto? Well I think we should go there and screw with that hottie Sasuke..."
"Yeah he's cute -for an animated character," Skyler replied. "But I didn't think that that show was real."
"Oh, believe you me. It's real," her companion assured her confidently.
"But I dunno how we could screw with his life. I mean, he's already pretty screwed up as it is -and I can TOTALLY tell he's gay..."
"Is there something wrong with that?" her guardian angel demanded hotly, boring holes into the side of her head with an intense glower. Skyler, surprised by her companion's reaction, took a moment to examine her a little more closely.
Apparent lack of a bust, long legs, strong facial features, that masculine voice...
'Oh my god! She's a guy!' She finally realized with a faint trace of horror -and humor. Suppressing a bout of laughter in such a way that it seemed as though she were blushing in humiliation, Skyler contemplated the odds of having a guardian angel who was openly gay, cross-dressed, and freely made comments about how hot anime guys were. She didn't really like the odds that she presented herself with -but more importantly, how was she supposed to explain that she thought that he was a girl the entire time?!
Or, back to matters at hand, how was she supposed to deal with the fact that he was now presently boring holes into her head with his eyes.
"Oh...! Um... no, of course not!" she said, laughing nervously. "I um... yeah. Sorry 'bout that." To be honest, Skyler had absolutely no problem with gay guys, it was just that she didn't expect her guardian angel to be one, and the way he was glaring at her was making her feel rather uncomfortable...
After a couple of seconds, he seemed to visibly relax and said dismissively, "Whatever. Let's just get on with planning to screw his life up."
"Yeah... yeah okay."
WARNINGS: Check out the other chapters for most of this one, because I'm too damn lazy to copy/paste 'em in here. The only new warning I've got to add is "randomness with a reason". Sounds scary, doesn't it?
CHAPTER SUMMARY: All I have to say here is: "let the chaos begin!"
Chapter 3: And the Fun Begins
"Looks like Sakura's gotten stronger," Sasuke said nonchalantly, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of his recovered and re-sheathed katana. "Unlike you."
With that, Sasuke allowed his smirk to become a little more apparent before he vanished in a puff of smoke of his own, leaving a bewildered, confused, hurt, shocked and angry Naruto in his wake.
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It took Naruto a couple of seconds to regain his bearings, and when he did, it was accented with a howl of "Take that BACK, you fucking bastard!" and a sudden choice to make a couple of Kage Bunshins that would help him find his wayward ex-teammate again. With a few clipped words containing instructions, Naruto and his three clones went sprinting off in different directions.
To say that Naruto was angry would be a bit of an understatement. Once again, he found himself completely and utterly FURIOUS. Did Sasuke not realize how fucking HARD it was to actually SAY something like that -and then not even be allowed to FINISH!? Hell, he didn't even really need to ask himself that question to get an answer: no, he didn't. Not by a long shot. And why was that? Because he never fucking said anything HIMSELF?! Grant, Naruto himself was more of an emotional-connection/understanding type of person, and a lot of the time he never verbally said what he was feeling, but more of showed it, but STILL, at least he gave the whole "say what you feel" crap a shot! And what had he gotten for his efforts? The insensitive bastard walking out on him when he was saying the most important part of all, that's what!
'So,' he decided. 'If Sasuke's not going to listen to me on his own, I'm going to immobilize him so that he'll do it anyway.' If 'immobilizing' Sasuke meant beating him to a bloody pulp and then saying the last of his piece, then Sasuke was going to get beaten into a bloody pulp. At this point, Naruto didn't care much about what condition he would be in -not to mention he was gaining a sort of sadistic pleasure out of imagining what Sasuke would look like being beaten into that bloody pulp, even without Kyuubi's help.
Prodding ahead with small tendrils of chakra, he searched the areas ahead of him for any traces of Sasuke's chakra. He concentrated on it so much that he almost forgot to pay attention to where he was going.
This was especially true when one of his clones finally managed to distantly detect the bastard's signature. He actually chose to omit paying attention to where he was going completely in favor of doubling back and sprinting as fast as he could in the direction his clone had indicated to in a way not unlike that of a madman.
As he ran, Naruto failed to notice as the hairline cracks in the floor slowly become bigger and more defined or the fact that he was passing more and more corpses by the minute. He even neglected to register how the stench of blood, battle and death assaulted his senses, which was really saying something because his now-frequent contact with Kyuubi had sensitized them roughly about 4.27 times more than even the most sensually accomplished human should be physically able to do.
No, Naruto reacted the way he did every time Sasuke was brought into a situation and unconsciously shut everything else down to focus on him and him only. He wasn't about to let him run away so easily this time. No way in hell.
His more or less blind wandering lead him to what could only be described as a collapsed cavern.
When it had still been standing, it had probably been rather grand, in a creepy sort of way. It had to be at least 50 feet deep and 100 wide and long, so now it looked more like a large bowl that had been engraved out of the land than anything. If there had been any furniture there, it wasn't in plain view. The midday sun was shining down and revealing the bluish-white color of what used to be the basket weave patterned walls. They were now only shapeless, unattractive heaps of rubble.
There were enormous fissures sprawling out from an equally enormous crater, along with several other, smaller craters and less noticeable cracks spider-webbing across the patterned floor. The sounds, sights, and smells of fighting were now blatantly obvious; one would have to be a senseless idiot to not notice them now.
And of course, Naruto didn't see any of that; he had eyes for only one of the fights that were still taking place before him: between Jiraiya, Tsunade and Orochimaru.
And now, Sasuke.
It was obvious that the three Sannin were wounded, low on chakra, and tired -they had been fighting for HOW long now? Naruto didn't know, but he did know that he'd never seen the old hag or Ero-sennin this exhausted before -albeit Orochimaru was in worse shape than Jiraiya and Tsunade, but it wasn't by much. Naruto didn't know how that had happened, because by all rights, if two of the Legendary Sannin decided to gang up on the third, then said third Sannin should be quite dead. Something must have happened to even the playing field -either that, or Orochimaru was a hell of a lot stronger than Naruto had ever given him credit for...
Well, whatever had happened to make things turn out like this, Naruto knew that if one fresh fighter was added into the mix, then whomever aforementioned fighter chose to support would be the victors of this battle.
And Sasuke had sided with Orochimaru.
He was currently locked in close kunai-to-katana combat with Jiraiya. How he was managing to hold his own like this was a miracle in itself -either that or Jiraiya was REALLY worn out. Tsunade was backing Orochimaru up with several sets of complex, chakra-laden strikes in such a way that he and his apprentice were only a few feet away from fighting back-to-back. Despite their position, events already seemed to be turning their favor.
'That BASTARD!' Naruto thought vengefully as he began charging into the fray himself, his mind completely set on ripping Sasuke away from what he was doing and beating him within an inch of his life, primarily using Rasengan. Here they were, risking their damned lives to try and save HIS ass, and here he was turning their actions against them without even a second friggen' thought about it. Disrespecting and humiliating him Naruto could handle -it was to be expected- but this, this was the last straw.
Sasuke was going down.
Unfortunately, Naruto never got his chance to bring Sasuke down. He had almost finished making his way towards the traitor when there was a pause, a scuffle of feet against cracked floor, and an all-too-familiar shout of "Chidori!"
Naruto was struck deaf by the shrill screeching of thousands of birds, blind by an unearthly glow of blue-white light, and off-balance by the powerful after-shock waves of wind, rubble and chakra. His nostrils were burning with the smell of burned hair and flesh and his skin and clothing spotted with droplets of blood, but he didn't notice any of it as he stared dumbly at where Ero-sennin, the old hag, and Sasuke were standing stock-still in front a particularly bloody heap named Orochimaru just a few scant feet in front of him. It seemed too surreal -random, sudden, whatever- to be true, but there was really now doubt about it: the snake Sannin was now dead. Nobody, not even one of the Legendary Sannin, could survive a blow like that, so Naruto supposed that made the old pedophile very dead.
For a while, nobody moved, nobody spoke, hardly even dared to so much as breathe -that is, until Tsunade said in a raspy, dehydrated voice that was barely louder than a whisper, "Uchiha, will you surrender now and allow us to take you back to the village as an unharmed prisoner, or will you put up a fight?" Somehow, despite the volume and how exhausted she sounded, she still somehow managed to make her voice ring with strength and authority.
At that, Naruto began to barge forward again. Negotiations be damned, he wasn't leaving until he'd slammed his fist into Sasuke's face one or ten times. But again, his efforts were foiled when Jiraiya reached out and yanked him back by the collar of his jacket and twisted both of his arms painfully behind his back. "You'll get your chance, runt, don't worry about it," he intoned tiredly between pants. "Just not now."
Hearing those words placated Naruto a little, but not nearly enough to quell his burning desire to mash his ex-teammate into porridge. He continued to thrash and curse in the hold he was in, even though he knew that it wouldn't do anything.
When Sasuke simply looked at Tsunade and didn't reply, she took it as an affirmative and motioned for one of the newly appeared ANBU to go up and confiscate his katana and bind his wrists together with chakra-infused rope. To prevent him from making hand-seals, they were tied back-to-back and the knot both tight and complex. All the while, Sasuke watched placidly and made no move to resist what was being done to him. In Naruto's eyes, Sasuke was TOO placid. It was almost as if he were simply playing his role in some sort of bigger plan and didn't give a shit if he acted it out convincingly or not.
For some reason, that thought unnerved Naruto, and it was in ways he couldn't explain.
.o.0.O.0.o.0.O.0.o.
A/N: first off, this is the random part I mentioned earlier. It isn't what it looks like and will be explained in the later chapters, but I put it like this for plot purposes. Bear with me please.
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Skyler C. Dwelar was tired. She'd barely slept at all since she'd spent most of the past night watching anime on the computer (honestly, who DIDN'T?). As a result, she'd overslept. For the purpose of saving time, she had decided to omit eating breakfast to run at break-neck speed out the front door in hopes of being able to catch the bus. She was in such a rush that it didn't even occur to her that she hadn't changed out of her pajamas or made herself decent enough for public viewing.
She was presently running across the street and had just about made it to the bus stop when
-BAM!
'Shit! What the hell was THAT?!' Skyler thought frantically. 'Hey it's kinda breezy and... hold it. Why don't I feel pain? ...Wait, what's that thing down there?' Her eyes narrowed as she squinted at the distant blob of red and blue.'Shit that's ME! Oh my god! I was HIT by my own school bus! ...God, am I really dead?! Ah, this SUCKS! ...But being hit and killed by my own school bus, now that's really kinda ironic...'
"I think it would be ironic if we were all made of iron..." a male's voice droned on in a dreamy fashion. (A/N: prize ficlet of your choice to anyone who can guess where this quote came from.)
"What the hell was that...?" Skyler said to herself as she warily began looking around for the speaker.
"Me -duh," the voice replied, as if it were obvious. A small winged female appeared on her shoulder, sitting cross-legged and looking more or less sheepishly amused. She had little white wings that were only a little longer than what her arm-span would have been if they had been outstretched, slightly tanned skin; big, brownish-green eyes; and blonde hair that just barely brushed her shoulders in a distinctly boyish fashion. She was wearing an off-white Japanese school-girl-type shirt with an embroidered heart on the left breast pocket and dark, almost skirt-like shorts that came down just past her knees. Her shoes looked like ballet slippers, complete with crisscrossing ribbons traveling partway up her legs.
In truth, the only thing that Skyler really found strange about her (besides the wings, of course) was the fact that she had a rather masculine voice, even though she was obviously... well, a she.
Skyler stared at the little person perched oh-so-casually on her shoulder. "Who the hell are you?!" she demanded indignantly. "Are you like some shinigami or grim reaper or something?"
"No," the little winged person snapped in an affronted tone. "I'm your guardian angel."
"What the hell?! If you're my guardian angel, then why didn't you HELP me? I just fuckin' DIED over there!?" Now Skyler wasn't a very angry or violent person by nature, but dying had made her somewhat edgy. This was all so ...random! If she could die and still be consciously aware of herself, and if she could talk to someone who was supposedly her 'guardian angel', then who knew what would -or COULD, for that matter- come next?
"Uh... yeah..." the little person began, smiling and giggling sheepishly. "Sorry about that. I promise I'll make it up to you, okay? Just say the word and you can have anything you want."
"Like what? Be specific." Just because Skyler was miffed didn't mean that she didn't mean that she was miffed enough to not take advantage of the potentially profitable situation.
"Anything."
"Okay..." Skyler said slowly, pausing for a little while to contemplate what she wanted to get from this chick. Suddenly, she snapped her fingers and declared, "I've got it: make me a god."
"Fine," she said simply, completely unruffled by what even Skyler would admit was an unreasonable request.
"WHAT?!" Skyler sputtered. She had asked for it, yes, but that didn't mean that she expected to actually be made a GOD. "That's not like... against the rules or sommin'?"
"No..." she replied slowly, shaking her head in kind and looking at the larger girl as if she was particularly stupid. "Why would it be? -Actually, now that you mention it... everyone seems to think that -but nobody ever asks, so we don't have many gods..."
Skyler sighed, still somewhat half-mourning the loss of her life. "...Well, I guess this whole dying thing won't suck so much now that I'm gonna be made a god..."
"Well, you're actually a descendant of a god -so it won't be THAT hard to make you one... and I AM sorry about not saving you and all... -wait! Are you sad and shit because you won't ever see your friends and family again, or just because you just lost your life? I mean, it doesn't really matter either way, but I'm kinda curious."
"What life?" Skyler retorted pointedly. "I never did anything -I didn't even have a lot of friends. My family will miss me, but they'll get over it eventually -and bus drivers will remember to drive safer..."
"Actually your death was your own fault," her guardian angel contradicted blandly. "...Or some sick sort of weird coincidence... thing..."
"What? That wasn't SUICIDE!" Skyler objected loudly. She knew she wasn't the smartest person out there, but she wasn't so stupid as to get herself killed on purpose! "...Wait a minute... did you say I was a DESCEDANT of a god?! Since when were my parents GODS?"
"Oh heavens no, not your PARENTS!" the little person laughed out loud. "Your fathers' aunts' sister-in-law, twice removed cousins' daughters' stepmother."
"You mean great-aunt Ginny?" Skyler asked blankly.
"...Yeah."
"The alcoholic? You sure 'bout that?"
"Yeah. She's a lesser god of festivals and parties... and she IS quite the party animal, if I remember correctly..."
"Okay..." Skyler said slowly, trying to wrap her mind around all of this new information -and more or less succeeding at it. "So why you weren't there to take care of me all of these years? It's not like my life was traumatic or depressing or anything, but it was BORING. Couldn't you have at least done something to help me before I died?"
"Uh... yeah; sorry about that," the little female apologized guiltily (again), another sheepish grin forming. "I just figured you had an okay life you didn't need me there to screw it up..."
"Yeah. I've only just met you and I can see how that might have been problematic..."
"Exactly!" the guardian angel perked up almost instantly and her tone became business-like. "So now about that god thing-" she began, but Skyler cut her off.
"What, some weird restrictions or rules or something?" She KNEW something like this would happen. Nothing good EVER happened without there being SOMETHING like this...
"No. No weird rules or restrictions -just some BASIC rules and SENSIBLE restrictions..."
"Shit! Do I have to do something good for mankind?!"
"Only if that's the kind of God you want to be," the little female assured her. "Speaking of which, what kind DO you want to be, anyway?"
Skyler didn't even have to think about her answer to THAT question. "Trickst-" she began.
"Don't you want to-?" her little companion began at the same time.
"No," Skyler said firmly. "I want to be a Trickster God -they always have more fun."
"True," her companion allowed. "But you weren't really much of a prankster..."
"No, I wasn't," Skyler agreed. "Because then I was but a mere mortal -now I'm a fucking GOD! I can really screw with people now!"
"Woot! Now we're talking!" she cheered excitedly, pumping a fist up and down even as she jumped to her feet. "Got anyone you hate in particular or just humanity as a whole?" she began rubbing her hands together, her expression conniving.
"Well, I haven't really thought about that..." Skyler admitted, not bothering to hold back her own calculating grin. After a moment of thought, she said, "not really. Both I guess..."
"Good, 'cuz I've got some ideas that I think you might like..."
"Wait a sec. Pause, rewind, and freeze!" Skyler suddenly said, effectively cutting off what promised to be a long-winded rant. "Aren't you a guardian ANGEL? Aren't you supposed to want to HELP people and NOT mess up their lives and relationships?"
"What?" she blinked confusedly, until comprehension suddenly dawned on her small face. "Oh yeah, THAT... well, I was kinda forced into this job. You know the family business deal? Yeah, it was that. I wanted to be a poltergeist, but NO... I had to be a 'guardian angel'," she explained in disgust, a scowl twisting the corners of her mouth.
There was a pause as Skyler took the time to absorb this information. Finally, she said, "oh. That makes a lot of sense..." there was another pause in which nobody knew what to say, but Skyler broke the silence again by saying. "Perfect. So I have pissy angel, Godly powers I can use to screw with people -and no one to torture..." She let her voice trail off in annoyance.
Her new angel friend perked up again at the mention of screwing with the lives of others. "Well, I really DO have some ideas..."
"Hit me," Skyler said gamely.
"Okay," she began with relish. "You know that show you watched all night -Naruto? Well I think we should go there and screw with that hottie Sasuke..."
"Yeah he's cute -for an animated character," Skyler replied. "But I didn't think that that show was real."
"Oh, believe you me. It's real," her companion assured her confidently.
"But I dunno how we could screw with his life. I mean, he's already pretty screwed up as it is -and I can TOTALLY tell he's gay..."
"Is there something wrong with that?" her guardian angel demanded hotly, boring holes into the side of her head with an intense glower. Skyler, surprised by her companion's reaction, took a moment to examine her a little more closely.
Apparent lack of a bust, long legs, strong facial features, that masculine voice...
'Oh my god! She's a guy!' She finally realized with a faint trace of horror -and humor. Suppressing a bout of laughter in such a way that it seemed as though she were blushing in humiliation, Skyler contemplated the odds of having a guardian angel who was openly gay, cross-dressed, and freely made comments about how hot anime guys were. She didn't really like the odds that she presented herself with -but more importantly, how was she supposed to explain that she thought that he was a girl the entire time?!
Or, back to matters at hand, how was she supposed to deal with the fact that he was now presently boring holes into her head with his eyes.
"Oh...! Um... no, of course not!" she said, laughing nervously. "I um... yeah. Sorry 'bout that." To be honest, Skyler had absolutely no problem with gay guys, it was just that she didn't expect her guardian angel to be one, and the way he was glaring at her was making her feel rather uncomfortable...
After a couple of seconds, he seemed to visibly relax and said dismissively, "Whatever. Let's just get on with planning to screw his life up."
"Yeah... yeah okay."
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