FicWad

"EVERYONE READY?" Hank, the MCR bus driver yelled.

"Yeah." A collective mumble responded.

We were sat around the TV watching Mikey and Ray play Red Steel on the Wii. I swear, best console ever! I mean remote controls with motion sensors?! Genius. It's just as fun to watch as it is to play. Except for Frank, who refuses to play after a particularly animated game of Zelda: Twilight Princess left him with mild concussion from Gerard's controller.

"RIGHT, 120 MILES TILL THE NEXT STOP." Came Hanks voice from the cockpit.

After ten minutes I was getting tired of watching Mikey repeatedly kill Ray. It's no fun when one person is being repeatedly creamed; it's just embarrassing. Hearing the pneumatics of the door go, I decided to investigate. Hank wasn't at the wheel, so I went down the steps and walked round the bus. Hank pulled his head out of the engine bay as I approached and I swear I saw flames behind his eyes when he caught sight of me.

"You!" Hank brandished a wrench and pointed it at me.

"Err, Hank?" I backed up a bit. Slightly worried at the large chunk of metal and remembering Hank's days of being his college's star quarterback.

"This is all your fault! You and your stupid pranks. This is the second time those Chicago pricks have fucked with my bus. Do you realise it's not just between you and them anymore? You're dragging everyone else down with you."

Gerard came round the corner, a quizzical look on his face upon seeing a red faced Hank brandishing a wrench at me.

"Hank? What's going on man?" He asked cautiously.

"What's going on is those whores have taken our spark plugs."

Gerard flinched at the usually chilled out, Hank's outburst.

"So, that's bad right?" Gerard asked sounding unsure, he was rubbish at anything remotely technical. He can't even make those stupid plastic planes you glue together that are meant for eight year olds! Last time he ended up gluing all the little bombs to a belt and throwing the rest into the bin in a tantrum.

"It means we're going nowhere. The recovery left half hour ago to fix a flat on the Dresden Dolls bus. And when they do get to us, if there aren't any spares, we're fucked."

Hank slammed the engine cover down and wiped his hands on his jeans, turning to me and Gerard with a long suffering sigh.

"Sorry if I'm a bit irritable today. But this is the second time the bus has suffered because of whatever it is between you lot. Just make sure you get them back good and proper for this."

Hank turned and walked back to the bus to phone for help, leaving me and Gee stood by the bus.

"Wow, I've never heard Hank yell before and he's been our driver on all our major tours."

"He did seem out of character," I said thoughtfully, "But what I don't get is how those pricks managed this. They must have got help from someone. I mean, that stupid limey wouldn't know a spanner from a drill and I can just see Pete getting his manicured nails dirty. Plus he was otherwise engaged in the shower with the rest all afternoon. You're first up tomorrow and you can't be late. They are fuking with everyone's timeslots, not just yours. ARGH!"

I let out a deep growl at the whole fucking situation. I was thoroughly pissed off and couldn't help but take it out on the unsuspecting bus tyres. Instantly regretting it after remembering I was only wearing flip flops.

"Mother fucking...." I began hopping on one foot as my toes began to throb, whilst Gee stood there laughing at me. An annoyingly familiar bus pulled up along side us and I tensed up immediately, it was her. I could just make out FOB stood behind her in the shadows of the bus.

"OI YOU FUCKERS. GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR BUS?"

Oh great this is all I need. I stopped hopping and crossed my arms.

"What do you want Leo? Were all out of tea and crumpets." I snapped caustically, revelling at the way her dark, tanned face paled with fury at my comment.

"Go fuck your brother you..."

Leo was about to shout something but Patrick clamped his hand over her mouth before she could finish and shoved her away from the open window. Frank, Ray, Bob and Mikey appeared, obviously wanting front row seats for the impending slanging match.

"Hi Syd, Gerard. Look. We're willing to make a deal with you so you can get on your way."

"I'm not going to make a deal with some chubby little lead singer who hasn't got the balls to be a real front man." Patrick's face fell at my words. Okay so that was maybe below the belt, but this isn't just about us anymore. This affects every band on the tour.

A strong arm wrapped around my middle and a hand clasped over my mouth before I could say anything else. I thrashed around but whoever had grabbed me was too strong. I'll admit, I was impressed. But that was greatly outweighed by anger at whoever had the nerve to try and control me.

"Ignore her. What's the deal?" Gerard said as he approaching the open bus window which Patrick was now leaning out of, Pete and Andy having dragged a struggling Leo from the window.

"The spark plugs for the hat." He stated.

"Deal" Gerard replied with no hesitation.

Gee walked over to the bus door, where Patrick emerged with a small box. After the trade Patrick waved his hat to us as the bus pulled off to the next stop. Finally managing to wrestle free I spun round and pushed over whoever was restraining me.

"What the FUCK!"

I shoved Bob backwards into the side of the bus. Everyone's eyes were on me, not surprised at my temper, but clearly wanting to see how far I would go.

"Don't you ever do that to me again? Do you know what you just did!? You let them think we're weak. Now they 're gunna use this to take advantage of us! They think we can be bought. That was blackmail!" Slamming my fist into the panel next to Bob's head, I turned and shoved past Gerard. Mikey reach out and grabbed my wrist.

"Hold up Syd. You know we didn't have a choice. You can't miss sound check, and we are opening tomorrow."

"I have my bike." I said as I yanked my wrist free and marched off toward my trailer being towed by the MCR bus. Opening it I wheeled out my bike. Throwing on my helmet I kick started it and sped off after the FOB bus, needing to clear my head.


X

It's in moments of quiet like this, that I begin to wonder why we're doing all this, the pranking I mean. It doesn't seem to have a point, except to piss each other off and create divides between us. It's just that now we've started we can't stop. If either side backs down then it would be like the other had won.

The kettle clicking off interrupted my train of thought and I eagerly poured myself a cup of strong black coffee and took the first sip with a deep sigh. I seriously needed that. Coffee always seems to make me feel better, I don't know why.

Walking over to the small sofa that had been squished into the corner of FOB's bus, I sank into it and proceeded to enjoy my coffee.

The relaxation and solitude didn't last long. It never does.

A loud, girlish scream echoed around the bus, making me jump and nearly spill my drink all over myself. Hastily putting down the hot coffee I legged it to the back of the bus to find out who had died.

"What?! What's happened?" I barked as I ran into the bunk area and slid to a stop.

Pete, Andy and Joe were all stood around Patrick who was sitting on one of the bunks with his head in his hands. They all looked up as I entered and I stood with my hands on my hips wondering what the bloody hell was going on.

"My hat..." Patrick trailed of dejectedly.

O for God's sake. Seriously it's always a drama with him and his hats. Have I worn this one before? Does this hat make my head look too big? Does this one go with my outfit?

"What about it?" I asked with a sigh.

"They have it." Joe explained as he gently patted Patrick on the shoulder.

Ah.

The stolen clothes. This may be a problem.

"It's only a hat Patrick..." I offered cautiously, "You have like a hundred others to choose from."

He glared at me, his light blue eyes narrowing in indignation. Pete, Joe and Andy all took a step back from Patrick, a wary look in their eyes.

"It's my favorite hat Leo!" Patrick snapped.

Jeez Patrick someone needs a girlfriend or at least a good shag.

"Well we can't do a lot about it can we?" I replied as I took a seat beside him. Seriously the others are such pussies; as if Patrick could be threatening in any way.

"Well actually..." Andy began and I looked up sharply at the hesitation in his voice.

"What?" I asked watching them all suspiciously. They better not be thinking of doing anything stupid. Again.

"We were thinking of maybe offering them a trade." Pete said trailing off suddenly at the look on my face which I imagine must have been quite frightening.

A trade? With the enemy? They have to be kidding me.

"Yer what!" I snapped standing up sharply. They all looked up at me alarmed.

Apparently when I get mad or really excited then my accent comes out, I'm northern, Sheffield born and bred. I guess to anyone who isn't northern it means I'm pretty hard to understand and probably a little scary. Either way I saw their eyes all focus on the small door, even Patrick who had been so pissed off earlier now shrank back into the depths of his bunk.

"You wanna bargain with them?" I questioned in disbelief, "They left you bollock naked in the shower and you wanna make a deal with them?"

"We don't exactly have a choice Leo," Pete said gesturing wildly towards Patrick, "You know what he gets like with his hats."

"Hey! I'm still here you know." Patrick said leaning forwards.

I ignored him and began to pace up and down the small walkway in-between the bunks.

How could they even think of trading with them? It's only a stupid hat; it's not even a very nice hat in my opinion. From what I can remember it's yellow with green stars on it. See, even the mental image is pretty fucking ugly.

I can just imagine the look on Syd's face. A sort of smug, superior grin, it's the look she gives me every time they prank us.

It makes me want to smack her. Hard.

A hand on my arm pulled me to a gentle stop. I turned around with a sigh.

"Come on Leo," Andy said quietly, "We aren't admitting defeat, just offering a mutually beneficial trade."

"But they'll think they've won." I whined, crossing my arms defensively over my chest.

"I doubt it somehow," Joe said with a smile, "They won't be going anywhere without those spark plugs remember; we've got them trapped, they have to make the trade."

O yeah...I felt myself begin to grin. Perhaps it wasn't quite as bad as I first thought. Syd's going to be so pissed off at the fact that she's been out smarted which will no doubt be extremely satisfying.

"HEY?"

We all looked up at the new voice. Well not so new really, it was probably Dirty wanting to set off for the next venue.

"YOU ALL READY TO GO?"

Pete and I left the others in the bunk area and walked to the front of the bus. Dirty was sat in the driver's seat ready to set off.

"We need to do something first..." Pete began.

I wandered back to the sofa I'd left my coffee by and let Pete do all the talking. Once you've heard a plan once you've heard it a thousand times.

Patrick and Joe walked in and sat beside me on the sofa so that I was squashed tightly in the middle of them. The bus pulled away out of the nasty looking Petrol Station and moved slowly towards the MCR bus. Leaning over I peered out the window and let out a whoop of laughter.

Syd was standing outside the bus hopping around on one leg with a pained look on her face. Gee was stood beside her laughing, his pale pointed features creased up as he grinned manically.

Slowing to a stop we pulled up opposite the MCR bus and I opened the window leaning out as far as I could without falling.

"OI YOU FUCKERS. GOT A PROBLEM WITH YOUR BUS?" I yelled with a grin.

I felt Patrick and Joe crowd round me and out of the corner of my eye saw Pete and Andy leaning up against the window near the door.

Syd stopped hopping and froze at my voice. She turned slowly, her dark eyes blazing.

"What do you want Leo? Were all out of tea and crumpets." She quipped.

I don't know why that made me mad. I've heard countless stereotypical anti British insults over the past few weeks and they've never bothered me. I think it was the way she said it, with such calm, cold anger. Like it didn't bother her.

I felt myself snap.

"Go fuck your brother you..." I began. I don't even know if she has a brother but it was all I could come up with spur of the moment. However it wasn't like it even mattered as I never got to finish due to Patrick's large and slightly clammy hand being clamped firmly over my mouth.

He yanked me quickly away from the window in a surprising show of strength and held me down on the sofa. I struggled furiously, so much so that Andy and Pete were forced to drag me back away from the living area. I glared at them both muttering expletives under my breath but they ignored me and carried on talking to the enemy out the window.

The bloody cheek of it. I mean she bloody started it, she always does.

Finally shoving them both off me (no mean feat I can tell you) I stalked off to the back of the bus, leaving them to sort it all out.

After stewing in my bunk for a while I emerged finally to find that the bus had started to move again. I walked into the kitchen bit wondering vaguely why I had gotten so mad and a little bit pissed off at myself for missing the actual trade. I hadn't even gotten to see the look on Syd's face.

Spying my half drank coffee still sitting on the table I walked over to it and took a gulp of the now luke warm liquid.

"You shouldn't let her get to you so much you know."

I whipped round at the voice, my heart beating ten to the dozen and found Pete watching me from the small table, his laptop sat open in front of him. The living area was otherwise unoccupied and so I walked over to him and slid in the booth opposite him.

"I don't." I stated firmly as I took another sip of coffee. Pete snorted and I glared at him.

"Sometimes I wonder if this feud is actually between you and Syd and we all just got dragged along for the ride." He said thoughtfully.

My turn to snort this time.

"Whatever makes you feel better Pete," I laughed, "We all know that My Chem started this. If anyone got dragged along for the ride it was me and Syd."

"I can't help but think we're stuck now though, I mean it was fun at first but don't you think it's getting a little...mean maybe...?"

"Maybe." I agreed. Some of the pranks had verged on cruel but what could we do about it?

"It's just Syd today...I think she was really upset." Pete said slowly.

"She didn't seem upset to me," I said frowning, "She seemed pretty damn on the mark especially with her insults."

"Yeah but after you...got yourself dragged away, she stormed off. We saw her go past us on her bike." He said running a hand through his short dark hair.

Hang on a minute. Since when did Pete care what or indeed how Sydney Reeve was feeling? I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously and he shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"What?" He asked nervously.

"Do you fancy her or something?" I asked staring at him.

I mean she wasn't completely hideous to look at. Short, petite, dark. Sort of punky looking, you know the type; spiky black hair, far too many piercing's and tattoos, always wearing the latest skater gear even though they've probably never skated a day in their life. That pretty much describes Syd to a tee.

"No!" Pete protested quickly.

Far too quickly for my liking. He'd gone red aswel. Never a good sign. Trust Pete to screw it all up. He isn't going to want to prank her now is he, especially if he wants to get in her pants. God damn it. I need more coffee.