Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It's So Hard For Me To Smile

It's So Hard For Me To Smile

by keepxonxscreaming 0 reviews

Adoption, isn't it great?

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Drama - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2007-04-20 - Updated: 2007-04-20 - 456 words

Have you ever had the feeling like you feel like you're going to cry and you get this huge lump in your throat? Like your eyes start watering but the tears just won't fall? Like you need to cry but physically can't? Emotionally, yes. But not physically.
Have you ever had the feeling like you need to e sick and you're mouth tastes dry and wet all at the same time? You're mouth is filled with saliva that tastes awful but doesn't seem to dampen you're throat. You're throat's still as dry as sandpaper.

Well that's how I feel now.
Now my mum's dead.
My dad's dead.
My brother too.
And now I've got to go live in some orphanage as I'm not of age, and wait until some loser family come take me away from some shit hole in London and take me to the next. They probably won't even like me.
I guess they'll call me a goth or emo or whatever. Not that I mind, I mean I get it alot. It's kind of grown on me actually. I like people not liking me. It allows me to be on my own. To think on my own with no one interrupting my stupid thoughts and other crap that goes on in my life. I used to have a family though, who did love and care for me. The ones I could turn to when things got rough.
I want my brother back, Jake, he was my best friend. Always there. I could count on him no matter what. Even if what he was going through was worse than my problems, he would always help. We would help each other through the tough times. I love him so much, and miss him already. It's only been an hour since I had been told. And it feels like it's been a life time.
I want him to come back. I know he's no coming back, he can't now. Not now he's dead.
I just want my mum. The one who brought me up, took me to play school, primary and secondary. The one who introduced me to the teachers. The one who held my hand when I was lost, the one who would never lose me.
I want her to come back, but now she can't either. Not now she's dead.
I want my dad. The one who taught me how to swing on a swing, how to ride a bike, how to swim and all of the other things dad's do. The one who taught me to stand up for myself, taught me everything I know today.
I want him to come back, but funnily enough, he can't. Not now he's dead.

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