Categories > Cartoons > Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Warning: this is not technically smut. If you're looking to get some jollies, it'll have to be elsewhere
Disclaimer: Donatello isn't mine, but if he were, I'd ride him all night long...
Research
I'm sure that we all fantasize. Female turtles that don't exist, human women we'll never have.
And I wonder if my brothers grasp the reality of our singularity. Mike thinks that we'll rescue an open-minded damsel in distress that will fall for his well-practiced charms. Although Leo and Raph aren't as openly hopeful, it's obvious that they haven't dismissed the possibility.
I admit that I've done research on the subject. The internet is indeed a useful tool, and I could even recommend a few sites. You could say that I've thoroughly studied human mating; and the resulting thesis is far from comforting.
We're simply not compatible. Oh, our anatomy has evolved to more closely resemble that of a human's: contrary to basic turtles, our reproductive organs are set apart from our tails. Our entire pelvic region drops a few inches, revealing equipment that isn't too dissimilar from a human's.
Nevertheless, there are noticeable differences. A human's penis is covered with an almost weathered foreskin that has some mild give to it. When something pumps against the shaft, the skin is pulled to and fro a minuscule distance. It would seem that the most sensitive part of a human's organ is the head, where common circumcision has removed an inch or so of protective skin. Because our organs are constantly protected between our shells and plastron, we are without this loose layer of epidermis. The skin of our organs are softer, smoother, and tighter than even the circumcised inch of a human.
We are also thicker.
It seems to be universally accepted that bigger is better; I'm sorry to report that this is not always the case. To get an idea of our size, simply compare our bodies to an average human male. We're shorter and stockier by nature: about twice the width of a guy of Casey's build. It's pretty simple to figure out from there.
A female is capable of stretching to accommodate larger objects, but they only enjoy it to a certain degree.
Of course, there are more factors to consider than sheer dimensions. Hip structure -or rather, the lack of one- is important. Though flexible, we simply don't have the appropriate hinges and joints to imitate human thrusting. In my studies, I've noticed that the male will start in a frenzy- pulling their entire lower body back, slamming it forward, pulling entirely back, then repeating the process with speed and vigor. After a while, they settle into a rhythm of steady hip thrusting as opposed to the more violent full-body movements.
We don't settle.
Quite obviously, we are incapable of moving only our pelvic region. That leaves us with full-body thrusting from start to finish, which to a human, seems constantly frenzied and bordering on animalistic.
Which brings me to our nature. Males are aggressively dominant whereas females are submissive. In the wild, it is not unheard of for a turtle to accidentally drown their female if they attempt to mate underwater. Another note: a Red-Eared Slider's orgasm can last for half an hour. It goes without saying that we're enthusiastic in the bedroom. Coupled with the fact that we've been training our minds and bodies from childhood, it's not a matter of ego when I say that we're powerful lovers. Strength, stamina, endurance. Overpowering instincts and an incredible orgasm to reach for...
And we're not vocal.
Allow me to amend that statement: we don't really talk during intercourse. Instead, we make a sound deep in our throats- a churring that changes in tempo depending on how close we are to the edge. By instinct, we expect our partner to make similar noises. Humans don't chur, however, so any sounds they do make are taken as encouragement.
Of course, this isn't always the case either.
So what would sex between a human and a mutant turtle be like? As an overview, we're twice as wide as a human and are without the bone structure for gentle administrations. If the female is able to get past the initial penetration, the male's awareness of her blindsights into a tunnel of sensation, sound, and pheromones. To put it bluntly, we fuck. Long and hard.
After a while, the female will expect her lover to tire and set a softer tempo. When this doesn't happen, she will begin to worry then panic as the pain overshadows any initial pleasure. She will most likely tell you to slow down, to lube up, or simply articulate her fear and discomfort through desperate screams.
In the high of sex, all sounds are taken as encouragement. She will claw at the bed, at you. She will try in vain to disconnect as you rip through her body in a frenzy of carnal pleasure. Her lungs will give out before the first hour and through the agony, she'll pray- pray for every moment to be the last.
By the time you finish, she'd have lost the strength to support herself long ago. As you hold her close, you'll feel her heart thudding frantically against her chest and listen as she struggles for breath. A sense of accomplishment will wash over you, content with a job well done.
When she doesn't stop shaking after the first ten minutes, you'll realize that she's sobbing uncontrollably. You'll notice the blood trickling down her thigh and recognize the horror in her eyes.
When enough months have passed that she'll again be able to meet your eyes, there will be a shadow lurking in those once bright emeralds. A darkness comprised of knowledge and regret.
I've researched it thoroughly.
Disclaimer: Donatello isn't mine, but if he were, I'd ride him all night long...
Research
I'm sure that we all fantasize. Female turtles that don't exist, human women we'll never have.
And I wonder if my brothers grasp the reality of our singularity. Mike thinks that we'll rescue an open-minded damsel in distress that will fall for his well-practiced charms. Although Leo and Raph aren't as openly hopeful, it's obvious that they haven't dismissed the possibility.
I admit that I've done research on the subject. The internet is indeed a useful tool, and I could even recommend a few sites. You could say that I've thoroughly studied human mating; and the resulting thesis is far from comforting.
We're simply not compatible. Oh, our anatomy has evolved to more closely resemble that of a human's: contrary to basic turtles, our reproductive organs are set apart from our tails. Our entire pelvic region drops a few inches, revealing equipment that isn't too dissimilar from a human's.
Nevertheless, there are noticeable differences. A human's penis is covered with an almost weathered foreskin that has some mild give to it. When something pumps against the shaft, the skin is pulled to and fro a minuscule distance. It would seem that the most sensitive part of a human's organ is the head, where common circumcision has removed an inch or so of protective skin. Because our organs are constantly protected between our shells and plastron, we are without this loose layer of epidermis. The skin of our organs are softer, smoother, and tighter than even the circumcised inch of a human.
We are also thicker.
It seems to be universally accepted that bigger is better; I'm sorry to report that this is not always the case. To get an idea of our size, simply compare our bodies to an average human male. We're shorter and stockier by nature: about twice the width of a guy of Casey's build. It's pretty simple to figure out from there.
A female is capable of stretching to accommodate larger objects, but they only enjoy it to a certain degree.
Of course, there are more factors to consider than sheer dimensions. Hip structure -or rather, the lack of one- is important. Though flexible, we simply don't have the appropriate hinges and joints to imitate human thrusting. In my studies, I've noticed that the male will start in a frenzy- pulling their entire lower body back, slamming it forward, pulling entirely back, then repeating the process with speed and vigor. After a while, they settle into a rhythm of steady hip thrusting as opposed to the more violent full-body movements.
We don't settle.
Quite obviously, we are incapable of moving only our pelvic region. That leaves us with full-body thrusting from start to finish, which to a human, seems constantly frenzied and bordering on animalistic.
Which brings me to our nature. Males are aggressively dominant whereas females are submissive. In the wild, it is not unheard of for a turtle to accidentally drown their female if they attempt to mate underwater. Another note: a Red-Eared Slider's orgasm can last for half an hour. It goes without saying that we're enthusiastic in the bedroom. Coupled with the fact that we've been training our minds and bodies from childhood, it's not a matter of ego when I say that we're powerful lovers. Strength, stamina, endurance. Overpowering instincts and an incredible orgasm to reach for...
And we're not vocal.
Allow me to amend that statement: we don't really talk during intercourse. Instead, we make a sound deep in our throats- a churring that changes in tempo depending on how close we are to the edge. By instinct, we expect our partner to make similar noises. Humans don't chur, however, so any sounds they do make are taken as encouragement.
Of course, this isn't always the case either.
So what would sex between a human and a mutant turtle be like? As an overview, we're twice as wide as a human and are without the bone structure for gentle administrations. If the female is able to get past the initial penetration, the male's awareness of her blindsights into a tunnel of sensation, sound, and pheromones. To put it bluntly, we fuck. Long and hard.
After a while, the female will expect her lover to tire and set a softer tempo. When this doesn't happen, she will begin to worry then panic as the pain overshadows any initial pleasure. She will most likely tell you to slow down, to lube up, or simply articulate her fear and discomfort through desperate screams.
In the high of sex, all sounds are taken as encouragement. She will claw at the bed, at you. She will try in vain to disconnect as you rip through her body in a frenzy of carnal pleasure. Her lungs will give out before the first hour and through the agony, she'll pray- pray for every moment to be the last.
By the time you finish, she'd have lost the strength to support herself long ago. As you hold her close, you'll feel her heart thudding frantically against her chest and listen as she struggles for breath. A sense of accomplishment will wash over you, content with a job well done.
When she doesn't stop shaking after the first ten minutes, you'll realize that she's sobbing uncontrollably. You'll notice the blood trickling down her thigh and recognize the horror in her eyes.
When enough months have passed that she'll again be able to meet your eyes, there will be a shadow lurking in those once bright emeralds. A darkness comprised of knowledge and regret.
I've researched it thoroughly.
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