FicWad

Frank turned restlessly in his bed. He felt unsettled about the information he had learned that afternoon. He felt like he should have known what was going on. They had all seen the signs with Gerard but no one had wanted to admit that Mikey was falling prey to drug addiction as well.

He heard a faint click, the sound of a door shutting quietly, in the silence. He then heard footsteps and the sound of the front door opening. He jumped up, slipping his shoes on and grabbing a sweatshirt. He had a sinking feeling that Mikey was going back to April's.

He followed Mikey through the dark, deserted streets being careful not let him know that he was following him. Fortunately for Frank, Mikey never looked back. Frank watched as Mikey stopped abruptly in front of an old colonial home. He felt a little strange about standing in front a home, in a not so good neighborhood, stalking his friend in the middle of the night. He watched as Mikey quickly walked up the front steps and knocked on the door. He hoped that no one would answer but they did. He couldn't see who had answered the door but whoever it was let Mikey enter, then quickly shut it.

"Fuck" Frank muttered under his breath. He knew that Mikey was going to shoot up or snort something. It left him feeling afraid and uneasy. He had never been too good at confrontations but he knew that he couldn't just skate out of this one. He pondered if anyone would even answer the door for him.

He stood in the freezing night for almost ten minutes trying to come up with a plan of action. Break the door down? Too risky. Call Mikey on his cell phone? No, he wouldn't pick up. He finally decided he would take his chances at knocking on the door.

He jogged across the street and up the same winding pathway Mikey had walked up only ten or so minutes ago. He stood on the porch and with a shaking hand, knocked on the door.

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Mikey quickly walked into April's foyer and watched as she shut the door. she walked past him, talking the entire time.

"You came on a good night! I just got a bunch of shit and wow, is it good. Better than I've been getting. Let me tell you, this blow will fuck you up. I only did two lines...two lines and man..."

Mikey followed her as she rambled on. He had been to her house many times and but never this late and never uninvited. He was glad she wasn't angry about it.

"Soooo..." she continued. "How fucked up are you looking to get? Because I'm in a pretty good mood tonight so I think I'll treat you. What do you say?"

They were in the living room now. She sat down in a chair and Mikey took a seat on the worn couch. He relaxed a little bit at April's cheery mood.

"I say that sounds wonderful. Like I said, this is the last time, so the sky is the limit." April laughed at this.

"Last time, eh? Oh, how I've heard that. Said it myself a few times." She was skillfully making lines of cocaine on a tray. She set it in front of Mikey and smiled. "Try this and tell me what you think."

Mikey returned the smile and did a line. He paused then did a second one. The white powder stung his nose but the sting was outweighed by the body numbing high that immediately followed. It was the quickest and most powerful high Mikey had ever felt. He leaned back into the couch, closed his eyes and let the warmth of the high take over.

April did another line and giggled uncontrollably at Mikey.

"It's good isn't it?"

Mikey nodded his head furiously before opening his eyes. This was amazing to him. He wanted to feel like this forever. How could he give this up? Why would he want to? Thoughts kept racing in his head. Maybe he could just say he'd check into an outpatient program or something. Or that he wanted to cut down first so that the withdrawal wouldn't be so bad. The possibilities were endless. He looked at April.

"Another line?" He asked breathlessly. He could feel his heart racing. She nodded and made more lines. She did two then handed the tray to Mikey.

"Enjoy! I'm getting something to drink, want something?" She asked, getting up and teetering a bit. Mikey laughed at her.

"Sure, if you can manage."

She gave him the finger in response and stumbled out of the room. Mikey balanced the tray on his knees and did another line. He couldn't believe how incredible he felt. He felt alive. He was putting the tray on the couch next to him when he heard a sharp knock at the door. He stood up, the room spinning slightly and his head pounding.

"April?" he called. No response. The knocking continued. Mikey was having trouble keeping his balance. The coke must have been really strong because he had never felt like this before. He his could still feel his heart racing like he had just run a marathon and he felt hot all over.

"April?" he called again, trying to walk down the hallway to the kitchen. The room was spinning and he leaned against the wall for support. He glanced into the kitchen and April was nowhere to be found. Fuck. The knocking was still going on and he made his way to the front door. It was getting hard to breathe now. He looked through the peep hole and saw Frank standing on the front porch.

"Shit." he muttered, feeling for the door handle. He wasn't in the state of mind for this right now. Oh, God, he wanted the room to stop spinning. He opened the door.

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Frank watched anxiously as the front door opened. The light from the house blinded him for a moment but his eyes focused in on Mikey. The sight of him made Frank's stomach lurch slightly. He was pale and his face was shiny with sweat. His eyes had a glazed over look and he was breathing really hard.

"Frank?" His voice was raspy and he swayed slightly. Frank put his hands on his shoulders to steady him.

"Mikey, fuck! What the fuck did you take?" Frank said franticly. He had never seen him like this. Mikey laughed, looking at Frank like he was absurd.

"What do you think? Oh, fuck, I am so high!" He laughed again, stumbling forward causing Frank to step backward. Seeing Mikey high, so messed up he really couldn't function, sparked anger in Frank. He shook him trying to get him to stop laughing.

"Look at yourself!" he screamed. "Just fucking look at yourself! Is this what you want?" Mikey closed his eyes.

"Don't fucking shake me like that!" Frank looked at him and did it again.

"Like this!?"

"Yes!" Frank watched as Mikey's face paled even more.

"Oh, Jesus..." Mikey muttered. He pushed past Frank and threw up in the bushes next to the house. Frank watched as Mikey stood at the edge of the porch hunched over. He felt bad about what he had just done but hell, he couldn't help it. It was frustrating and heartbreaking to see one of his best friends in this state. He walked over to Mikey and rubbed his back.

"I'm sorry. Are you..are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"No." He sounded like a little kid. Like one who had just wandered away from their parent in a crowded mall and couldn't find them again. Mikey stood up. "Take me home, please?"

"Okay."

Frank wrapped an arm around Mikey's shoulders and Mikey leaned heavily into Frank as they made their way down the steps. Frank glanced at Mikey every so often to see if he was doing okay and they had to stop a few more times for Mikey to throw up but eventually, they made it back to their apartment. It wasn't until they had made it into their living room that Frank spoke. He had just helped Mikey onto the couch and stood hovering over him.

"What the fuck was that!?" he yelled angrily. Mikey let his head roll back onto the couch. He was tired, shaky and in general, pretty shitty.

"I..." Mikey started weakly.

"No...Don't speak. You tell me you want help, that you're serious about quitting and then you go on a midnight endeavor to YOUR DEALER'S HOUSE?!!"

Frank was yelling full force now. Mikey flinched at the intensity of his voice.

"I don't understand it! I don't understand why you want to do this to yourself! Why?" It was a loaded question and Mikey was unsure if it was rhetorical or not.

"Frank, I...I know I can't keep this up but I don't want to stop! I don't want to give this up. Oh, God..." Mikey could feel the tears sting his eyes and Frank stood in front of him silently. "Please, don't hate me...I can't take that." he said between the tears. Frank took a seat next to Mikey, letting his head fall into his own hands. In spite of himself, he could feel his eyes tear up as well.

"I don't know how to help you." He said, choking on the words. "How do I help you?" Mikey just stared at the ceiling, letting the tears roll down his face and hit the fabric of the couch.

"I don't know if you can."