Categories > TV > Buffy the Vampire Slayer > Xander the Warrior Princess

Xander the Warrior Princess

by purecrystaltears 1 review

Xander has a strange dream in science class... (Inside joke between me and one of my friends. Hope you enjoy it as much as we do!)

Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Rating: G - Genres: Action/Adventure, Crossover, Humor, Parody - Characters: Buffy, Xander - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2007-04-23 - Updated: 2007-04-23 - 601 words - Complete

I hope I give this justice! Enjoy!


"Buffy! Get down!" Xander shouted, shoving Buffy to the side sharply as the large men who had been chasing them rushed into the clearing.

"Let me know if you need help!" He heard Buffy say from behind him, feeling her small, soft hands touch his waist lightly.

"Don't worry about it! With your knife gone, you can't really do much with these guys." He said, glancing back at her quickly. "Go hide in the trees. I'll take care of these guys. They aren't so tough." Pushing Buffy towards the woods, he watched to make sure she was safe before turning to the group of ruffians.

He saw a couple of them start towards the trees where Buffy was hiding, and Xander quickly stomped on the ground, getting their attention. "You don't want her. She's just the side-kick. It's me you want. You know who I am, don't you? It's me you came for. I'm the real warrior here."

The men nodded. The man up front - Xander guessed to be the leader - pulled a large knife from the pouch at his waist, and ran his tongue along the dull side, grinning crudely. "It is you we want. You beat us before, but we are stronger now. We will win this battle."

"Possibly." Xander said, resting his free hand on his hip. "We'll just have to see, won't we?"

Brandishing his weapon, Xander raised his knife up into the air, Xander let out a warrior cry, "Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay," and then charged. Slicing at the men, ducking blows, stabbing, the men soon lay prostrated to the ground, the majority dead. The ones who weren't, were too wounded to stand.

Slipping his knife into the sheath, he turned towards the woods. "It's all right, Buffy. They're dead." He watched as Buffy slowly stood, and looked at the pile of bodies.

"Wow... It all happened so... fast..." She said, walking out from the trees, stopping a few feet from the dead men. She had a thing about dead bodies. "Should we kill the ones who are still alive?"

"No, we'll leave them. This way they can go back and tell their friends how Buffy, and Xander the warrior princess beat their asses into the ground." Smiling, Xander licked some blood from his wrist, and brushed off his skirt. "Good thing my armor didn't get too dirty."

Smiling, Buffy brushed some bangs from Xander's eyes. "Xander, did you hear what I just said?"

Frowning, Xander peered at Buffy, confused. "What?"

"I said, did you hear the question I just asked, Mr. Harris?"

Xander's eyes snapped open, and he quickly pushed himself up from the surface of his desk. Looking up, Xander met the eyes of his science teacher. Swallowing, Xander smiled, glancing over at Buffy, hoping she could help.

"I take by your expression that you didn't. Well, you've just earned yourself a detention for sleeping in class, and another one for disrupting. While you were taking your little nap, you decided to let out a loud battle cry. Next time you want to have Xena fantasies, I suggest you have them on your own time. I don't need any warrior princesses in my class."

Xander's cheeks flushed redder than a tomato, and he sunk down in his seat. "Yes sir..." He mumbled, trying to push the laughs in the class from his mind. God, what was his deal? What guy in their right mind would dream about being Xena? Spiderman or Superman he could understand. But Xena?

Man he needed serious therapy.


The end! Let me know what you think!
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