FicWad

'Not that I have woken up next to many, in fact, aside from one drunken night you'll get to hear about soon enough, Gerard really is the only one I've woken up next to, but I should expect the feeling to be exactly the same.'

He's chosen to ignore that line, and the fact that I haven't typed up what happened. Either that or he just hasn't read it closely enough yet. Either way, he hasn't taken it up with me.

I actually deleted this out of the main 'autobiography', I suppose, after deciding it wasn't a good idea. But I forgot to delete that one line.

So, I've decided...

Here it is, that missing drunken night:


It was actually before I was dating Gerard. It was that night before the end of the first tour I went on with them. Remember? I got drunk.

Drunken night indeed.

I don't remember clearly what happened. I didn't remember any of it the morning after, so comparatively I know the equivalent of the bible.

I remember some of the conversations going on, but only little snippets. A lot of it was crude jokes as I was passed around everyone's lap, the lack of space being quite an issue for the night.

The jokes came thick and heavy as I was passed off onto Mikey's lap. Suddenly, everyone was fetching drinks for him. Y'see, I was only being moved along when someone went to get a drink...

I can't remember who, but someone had the bright idea to play truth or dare.

I can't remember any of the dares, either, only one or two. One of Gerard's made my stomach churn, I remember that much, so I'm happy not knowing what it was. Bob was given the dare (without my permission) to go through my things and lay it all out on the table (Tampax and all).

I don't seem to remember me complaining much at the time, though.

One resulted in the loss of my top. You may be unsurprised to hear that it was one of Mikey's. He was told to single-handedly remove one item of my clothing.

Thankfully, even when drunk, he refused to agree with the chorus of people telling him to remove my bra.

By the early hours of the morning, Bob was the only person to have successfully made it to his bunk. Gerard had attempted it, but fallen over and decided to sleep where he was, and Ray and Frank were leaning against one another in a drunken stupor, mouths slack and eyes glazed over.

"I think it's about time you got off me," Mikey slurred, removing me from his lap. I pouted and made a blind grab for him as he stood, yet missed and fell of the seat instead. I started to laugh uncontrollably, somehow finding my situation hilarious.

I heard a 'thud' from Ray and Frank's direction. Rolling to face the ceiling, I found myself chest-to-face with an afro. I giggled again and used one hand to press down the afro slightly, peering at Frank who was now sprawled across his seat. Giggling yet again, I removed my hand and peered down at Ray, who had yet to remove his eyes from my chest. I rolled my eyes in mock disgust before pouting.

"Help me get to my bed?"

It gets hazy after that, the details blur slightly, but I know he did try and help. Yet seeing as neither one of us was having much success putting one foot in front of another, it was like the blind leading the blind.

We made it though.

We kind of...toppled onto the sofa, Ray hanging off the edge.

And he didn't move.

I believe I was thinking something along the lines of 'he's crushing my ribs'.

I don't really remember who started what, but it doesn't really matter. The fact would still remain that we ended up playing truth or dare again.

We were giving each other stupid dares, like 'eat the fluff off the sofa' or 'poke Gerard without waking him'.

Then, one or two more beers later after we'd discovered that there was actually some left, I dared ray to 'kiss my ass'. I was in a comatose state on the sofa and unwilling to move. It was all I could think off.

He obliged anyway, and made a point of roughly slapping my rear end as he sat back down.

I grumbled my objections before telling him that it was his turn.

"Kiss me," I think I giggled at him.

"Why?"

"Because..." He shrugged. "I want a kiss," I smiled as much as I could for saying my face was pressed onto the sofa. I moved myself closer to the edge of the sofa.

"You come over here though," He willingly ambled his way over, settling himself next to the sofa. I allowed one hand to drop from the sofa before finding the energy to lift it.

Slowly, I managed to lift it up. I reached out and - rather clumsily - curled my hand around the back of his neck before prompting him to lean towards me.

I don't remember, but I should think we kissed around about then...

After that I just remember little snippets, like a really bad montage. I remember the several desperate attempts to get my jeans off and laughing at the ease I managed to get his off with.

At one point during the de-clothing process, a still drunk Frank ambled past us, mumbling something about puking.

After that I remember straddling his hips, Frank ambling back through and into his bunk. He kicked Gerard along the way and told him to 'stop clogging the isle'.

I know I spent a lot of time attached to his neck, not wanting to wake anyone.



Once we were done, we fell asleep for only an hour or so. When I next peeled open my eyes, the sun was starting to rise.

I pushed Ray off me; sending him clattering to the floor, before remembering that the heavy lump was indeed Ray.

"Shit, sorry," I mumbled, making a grab for my trousers and lazily sliding them on.

"S'okay...I've had worse..." He grabbed his own jeans. "See you in a few hours," He yawned before literally crawling back to his bunk, jeans in tow.

I know I took a moment to take it all in. I was the make-up artist for a famous band and I'd just had sex with one of them. It felt so surreal.

Something inside my head told me it could just have been the alcohol that was on its way out of my system. And it could have been. But either way I couldn't quite grasp the gigantic problems that what I'd done could cause.

I still thank god that Frank never remembered walking past us. Ray has never taken it up with me, so he either didn't remember after a good sleep or he's been choosing to forget.