Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Laced With Nitroglycerin
4. Born For This
1 reviewKate has always been there for the guys as a sister and friend. What happens to her when their dreams come true? New creation. Have fun.
0Unrated
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Chapter 4
Born For This (Paramore)
"Where's hope when misery keeps crawling?"
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School. A constant reminder of how much I want to leave this town as soon as possible.
I almost forgot that I had promised to talk to Kate. Almost being the key word. I avoided her as long as I could. I was bruised all over. Especially my face and wrists. I couldn't hide them very well. I told almost everyone that I had a bike accident and it was nothing. They seemed to believe me. But I knew that Kate would see right through me. She always did.
When lunch rolled around, I couldn't hide any longer. She saw me and immediately dragged me to our empty classroom and cried. She held me and she cried. I felt like I should be holding her.
"Oh, Ryan." That was the only thing she said for a long time. I knew lunch had to have ended.
"I knew something was happening. How long?" she whispered after a pause. I looked up at her tearstained face, confused.
"What do you mean how long?" I asked. She gave me a weary sigh.
"Both. The cutting and the abuse." She knew more than I thought. I looked at her, speechless. "Bren and Spence and I all suspected that something was happening with all the bruises and the excuses for not staying over. But cutting? Ryan. I never thought you'd do it." She looked at me, disappointed. I felt tears sliding down my own face.
"That was just once. Last night. I just...couldn't take it. He's done it so many times ever since I started hanging out with you guys. I thought I could hide it. But not when he started with Dani. I had to be there. You should've heard her last night. She begged me not to let go. Begged me to stay with her. Kate..." I sobbed into her shoulder. She tried to soothe me, and she finally succeeded after a while.
"Ryan?" she whispered when the tears became silent again. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Can I say something?" Another nod. "I know that you're feeling unloved and hurt right now, but just know that we all love you. Spence and Brendon and probably Brent. And me. Don't ever forget that I love you." I almost laughed at that. Those were the words I had always wanted to hear from her, and I didn't think she meant them in the context I wanted her to mean them in.
"I love you too," I whispered back. She took my head off of her shoulder and looked into my eyes, an emotion I couldn't read clearly written in her eyes. "Kate," I whispered, not feeling us move closer.
"Ryan," she whispered back. Our eyes closed. And then--
"What the--OK I'm leaving now," we heard Brent's voice distantly. We sprang apart guiltily, opening our eyes, but we didn't have a reason to be guilty.
"Uh... I think I better go," I said as the final school bell rang. She nodded in what I took as understanding.
"You have practice tomorrow," she said back, almost reminding me and hoping I'd be there. I nodded. Getting up, I took one last glance back at her. She was right behind me.
Suddenly, as if she saw me looking, she grabbed the front of my shirt and pinned me against the wall next to the door. I looked at her to see her coming down on me and suddenly we were kissing. Well she was kissing me. I was too shocked to respond.
After a few seconds, she let me go, her face bright red, and stormed out of the room. This was not supposed to happen like this.
"Kate! Wait up!" I called after her in the eerily empty hall. She turned a corner to get to her locker at top speed. I got there just as she was closing it. I grabbed her wrist and turned her around, this time pinning her against the lockers. I gave her an apprehensive look, then kissed her. After we kissed, I ran home, hoping he wasn't there. He wasn't. I flopped onto my bed in a daze.
***
I am alive. Thank God. Hopefully this clears some of it up. Suggestions for the next chapter would be helpful. I'm getting kind of stuck. I know the ending, but the middle part is kinda fuzzy. Reviews welcome (needed).
Oh and like the song? It's my new favorite Paramore song. It's pretty awesome.
Chapter 4
Born For This (Paramore)
"Where's hope when misery keeps crawling?"
***
School. A constant reminder of how much I want to leave this town as soon as possible.
I almost forgot that I had promised to talk to Kate. Almost being the key word. I avoided her as long as I could. I was bruised all over. Especially my face and wrists. I couldn't hide them very well. I told almost everyone that I had a bike accident and it was nothing. They seemed to believe me. But I knew that Kate would see right through me. She always did.
When lunch rolled around, I couldn't hide any longer. She saw me and immediately dragged me to our empty classroom and cried. She held me and she cried. I felt like I should be holding her.
"Oh, Ryan." That was the only thing she said for a long time. I knew lunch had to have ended.
"I knew something was happening. How long?" she whispered after a pause. I looked up at her tearstained face, confused.
"What do you mean how long?" I asked. She gave me a weary sigh.
"Both. The cutting and the abuse." She knew more than I thought. I looked at her, speechless. "Bren and Spence and I all suspected that something was happening with all the bruises and the excuses for not staying over. But cutting? Ryan. I never thought you'd do it." She looked at me, disappointed. I felt tears sliding down my own face.
"That was just once. Last night. I just...couldn't take it. He's done it so many times ever since I started hanging out with you guys. I thought I could hide it. But not when he started with Dani. I had to be there. You should've heard her last night. She begged me not to let go. Begged me to stay with her. Kate..." I sobbed into her shoulder. She tried to soothe me, and she finally succeeded after a while.
"Ryan?" she whispered when the tears became silent again. I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Can I say something?" Another nod. "I know that you're feeling unloved and hurt right now, but just know that we all love you. Spence and Brendon and probably Brent. And me. Don't ever forget that I love you." I almost laughed at that. Those were the words I had always wanted to hear from her, and I didn't think she meant them in the context I wanted her to mean them in.
"I love you too," I whispered back. She took my head off of her shoulder and looked into my eyes, an emotion I couldn't read clearly written in her eyes. "Kate," I whispered, not feeling us move closer.
"Ryan," she whispered back. Our eyes closed. And then--
"What the--OK I'm leaving now," we heard Brent's voice distantly. We sprang apart guiltily, opening our eyes, but we didn't have a reason to be guilty.
"Uh... I think I better go," I said as the final school bell rang. She nodded in what I took as understanding.
"You have practice tomorrow," she said back, almost reminding me and hoping I'd be there. I nodded. Getting up, I took one last glance back at her. She was right behind me.
Suddenly, as if she saw me looking, she grabbed the front of my shirt and pinned me against the wall next to the door. I looked at her to see her coming down on me and suddenly we were kissing. Well she was kissing me. I was too shocked to respond.
After a few seconds, she let me go, her face bright red, and stormed out of the room. This was not supposed to happen like this.
"Kate! Wait up!" I called after her in the eerily empty hall. She turned a corner to get to her locker at top speed. I got there just as she was closing it. I grabbed her wrist and turned her around, this time pinning her against the lockers. I gave her an apprehensive look, then kissed her. After we kissed, I ran home, hoping he wasn't there. He wasn't. I flopped onto my bed in a daze.
***
I am alive. Thank God. Hopefully this clears some of it up. Suggestions for the next chapter would be helpful. I'm getting kind of stuck. I know the ending, but the middle part is kinda fuzzy. Reviews welcome (needed).
Oh and like the song? It's my new favorite Paramore song. It's pretty awesome.
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