Categories > Games > Final Fantasy 7
The Day Everything Owned Cloud
4 reviewsThe title says it all, really--in the course of one day pretty much everything owns Cloud, including coffee, his motorcycle, his phone, and lunch. And Reno, of course.
1Funny
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The Day Everything Owned Cloud
dedicated to maple syrup
1. Breakfast Owns Cloud
It's pancakes again. The cakes themselves aren't exactly bad, but when he looks down at the stack of them Tifa covered in a thick glistening coat of /tree blood/, something in his gut cringes. Then he looks up, across the table, and there's Tifa looking so proud of herself for not burning any of them. She looks hopeful. She's smiling, and she's watching him. Watching him not eating the breakfast she got up early to make.
He picks up his fork.
2. The Front Door Owns Cloud
He doesn't even see the web on his way out the door, distracted by an uneasy stomach full of breakfast. It stretches and snaps free of the frame right across his face, and after he finishes scraping it away he's sure he feels something crawling around in his hair. Tifa promises him there's nothing there. He feels it anyway.
3. Fenrir Owns Cloud
It's just a standard parcel delivery in Edge, no rough terrain or unusual conditions. There's an odd note in the bike's engine, though, a whine that wasn't there before. Less than half a kilometer from the destination, it chokes and drifts to a slow stop leaking hot white smoke out the sides. Every part of his motorcycle is up-to-date on its maintenance, leaving him only one reasonable conclusion: Fenrir is pissed at him.
4. Bureaucracy Owns Cloud
"I had to walk," Cloud explains. "My bike broke down."
"I don't care if you had to save the world three times on your way here," snaps the clerk at Ju-Gei Imports. "These tax documents had to be postmarked by nine. Do you know how much you being late is going to cost this company?"
"No, sir."
"More than you're worth. I'm not paying a damn thing for this delivery."
"Sorry, sir."
5. The Coffee Machine Owns Cloud
There's a garage not too far from Ju-Gei Imports, close enough to push Fenrir to. The mechanic says it won't take too long, why doesn't he just have a seat and get some coffee in the waiting room?
The waiting room has two chairs, an end table, and three old magazines about gunblades. There's a coffee machine against one wall. Cloud puts in his one-gil coin, presses the button for extra milk, and waits. The cup never drops.
6. Fenrir Owns Cloud, Again
"You're pretty lucky I had the part on hand," the mechanic says, totalling up sums on a scrap of paper. "This would be even more expensive if I had to order it in."
"Your coffee machine's broken," Cloud tells him.
"Looks like eight hundred gil for parts, another hundred and fifty for labor, fifty for the diagnostic. One thousand gil, even."
Cloud blinks. "I don't have that much on me."
"Better find somebody who does, then. The guy from the scrap yard comes at one."
7. Reno Owns Cloud
He's having ramen at the stand next door to the garage when Cloud walks out, almost like he planned it that way. "Hey!" Reno says, waving him over. "What shit on you?"
Cloud explains the situation.
"Damn," Reno says. "Sure, I can lend you some. With the usual terms, you know."
Cloud asks what the usual terms are, even though he's pretty sure he knows already.
"The usual," Reno says, smirking. He does that thing with his tongue.
Reluctantly, Cloud accepts.
8. Cloud's Cellphone Owns Cloud
"I said, are there any new delivery orders? I just finished the one to Edge."
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"I'm still here. Look, I need to know if anyone else called-"
"Cloud, I can barely hear you. Speak up!"
"I'm practically standing under a phone tower, Tifa, something must be wrong with your phone."
"What? Hello?"
The connection goes dead. Cloud looks down at his phone, and sees the tiny battery icon blink twice before the screen flickers out.
9. Lunch Owns Cloud
It's not like he's going to be getting another delivery order with his phone dead, so he stops for lunch. Nothing fancy: just a place that does steamed buns with curry filling. He buys two. The first one he bites into is right out of the steamer, and the curry inside is still too hot.
He lets it cool before he eats the rest, but it all just tastes like his burnt mouth.
10. Reno Owns Cloud, Again
"There you are," Tifa says as he walks back into the Seventh Heaven. "I was worried."
"Everything's fine," Cloud says. "Just got held up a bit."
"I'm glad," says Tifa, and Cloud can tell she means it. "There was another call while you were out, though. Can you do something this afternoon?"
"Sure. Who for?"
"Reno. He says he needs you to take care of a, um, a very sensitive package."
"..."
"He said you owed him."
"...fine."
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The Day Everything Owned Cloud
dedicated to maple syrup
1. Breakfast Owns Cloud
It's pancakes again. The cakes themselves aren't exactly bad, but when he looks down at the stack of them Tifa covered in a thick glistening coat of /tree blood/, something in his gut cringes. Then he looks up, across the table, and there's Tifa looking so proud of herself for not burning any of them. She looks hopeful. She's smiling, and she's watching him. Watching him not eating the breakfast she got up early to make.
He picks up his fork.
2. The Front Door Owns Cloud
He doesn't even see the web on his way out the door, distracted by an uneasy stomach full of breakfast. It stretches and snaps free of the frame right across his face, and after he finishes scraping it away he's sure he feels something crawling around in his hair. Tifa promises him there's nothing there. He feels it anyway.
3. Fenrir Owns Cloud
It's just a standard parcel delivery in Edge, no rough terrain or unusual conditions. There's an odd note in the bike's engine, though, a whine that wasn't there before. Less than half a kilometer from the destination, it chokes and drifts to a slow stop leaking hot white smoke out the sides. Every part of his motorcycle is up-to-date on its maintenance, leaving him only one reasonable conclusion: Fenrir is pissed at him.
4. Bureaucracy Owns Cloud
"I had to walk," Cloud explains. "My bike broke down."
"I don't care if you had to save the world three times on your way here," snaps the clerk at Ju-Gei Imports. "These tax documents had to be postmarked by nine. Do you know how much you being late is going to cost this company?"
"No, sir."
"More than you're worth. I'm not paying a damn thing for this delivery."
"Sorry, sir."
5. The Coffee Machine Owns Cloud
There's a garage not too far from Ju-Gei Imports, close enough to push Fenrir to. The mechanic says it won't take too long, why doesn't he just have a seat and get some coffee in the waiting room?
The waiting room has two chairs, an end table, and three old magazines about gunblades. There's a coffee machine against one wall. Cloud puts in his one-gil coin, presses the button for extra milk, and waits. The cup never drops.
6. Fenrir Owns Cloud, Again
"You're pretty lucky I had the part on hand," the mechanic says, totalling up sums on a scrap of paper. "This would be even more expensive if I had to order it in."
"Your coffee machine's broken," Cloud tells him.
"Looks like eight hundred gil for parts, another hundred and fifty for labor, fifty for the diagnostic. One thousand gil, even."
Cloud blinks. "I don't have that much on me."
"Better find somebody who does, then. The guy from the scrap yard comes at one."
7. Reno Owns Cloud
He's having ramen at the stand next door to the garage when Cloud walks out, almost like he planned it that way. "Hey!" Reno says, waving him over. "What shit on you?"
Cloud explains the situation.
"Damn," Reno says. "Sure, I can lend you some. With the usual terms, you know."
Cloud asks what the usual terms are, even though he's pretty sure he knows already.
"The usual," Reno says, smirking. He does that thing with his tongue.
Reluctantly, Cloud accepts.
8. Cloud's Cellphone Owns Cloud
"I said, are there any new delivery orders? I just finished the one to Edge."
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"I'm still here. Look, I need to know if anyone else called-"
"Cloud, I can barely hear you. Speak up!"
"I'm practically standing under a phone tower, Tifa, something must be wrong with your phone."
"What? Hello?"
The connection goes dead. Cloud looks down at his phone, and sees the tiny battery icon blink twice before the screen flickers out.
9. Lunch Owns Cloud
It's not like he's going to be getting another delivery order with his phone dead, so he stops for lunch. Nothing fancy: just a place that does steamed buns with curry filling. He buys two. The first one he bites into is right out of the steamer, and the curry inside is still too hot.
He lets it cool before he eats the rest, but it all just tastes like his burnt mouth.
10. Reno Owns Cloud, Again
"There you are," Tifa says as he walks back into the Seventh Heaven. "I was worried."
"Everything's fine," Cloud says. "Just got held up a bit."
"I'm glad," says Tifa, and Cloud can tell she means it. "There was another call while you were out, though. Can you do something this afternoon?"
"Sure. Who for?"
"Reno. He says he needs you to take care of a, um, a very sensitive package."
"..."
"He said you owed him."
"...fine."
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