FicWad

Turn away, if you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded.
Call my aunt Marie, help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favorite colors.
My sisters and my brothers I will not kiss you, 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
Now turn away, 'cause I'm awful just to see, 'cause all my hairs abandoned all my body.
Oh my agony.
Know that I will never marry, baby I'm just soggy from the chemo.
But counting down the days to go, it just ain't living.
And I just hope you know, that if you say good-bye today, I'd ask you to be true, 'cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you.

xxx


"Gerard...?" Came a sweet, soft voice unlike any other that was barley audible from all the traffic whizzing by them.

"Yeah, babe?" Gerard answered; looking over at the face of the one he truly loved and would spend the rest of his life with.

"What if I was... leaving forever. And you'd never be able to see me again?"

"Brigetta, you know that wouldn't happen." Gerard said, as the light turned green and they walked across the street.

"Just what if it happened, what would you do?" Brigetta asked, pushing it farther.

"I would die from lack of air."

"What?" Brigetta asked, confused.

"Because without you, I can't breath..." Gerard stopped as soon as their feet hit the sidewalk and turned to his beloved Brigetta. He leant down and kissed her softly, as he pulled away he wondered if she really was going somewhere.

He watched as a single tear slid down Brigetta's face and hit the pavement below. "Gerard..." She choked, "I love you so much."

He cupped her face with his hand and wiped the tear trail away with his thumb. "I love you too. More than anyone could ever know." He smiled, kissing her again.

She pulled away and choked back tears, "Gerard, I have to get back home." She smiled.

"I'll take you." Gerard said, wrapping his hand around hers and walking down the street. The leaves on the trees blew and swirled around their feet, and the cool air of New Jersey spiraled around their faces. Gerard adjusted his scarf and smiled down at Brigetta as he rounded her street corner. Brigetta seemed sad ever since they started dating, and Gerard had no clue why. They'd said 'I love you' a million times, and they meant it, but it wasn't the 'I love you's that where the problem. It wasn't either of them. Gerard's hand slowly slipped from Brigetta's as she walked up her porch steps. She turned around and gave him a weak smiled before heading inside. Gerard slowly walked back down the street, toward his house. But before he went back to his house, he stopped inside Brigetta's father's restaurant that he worked at. He thought he'd order a few things for Frank, Bob, Ray and Mikey before he went back, they'd bug him for food anyway. He sat down at one of the barstools as Don, Brigetta's father walked over and lent against the counter on his elbows. "Why the long face, kid?" He asked, smiling.

"It's Brigetta." Gerard said, watching Don's smiled drop from his face.

"What's wrong with Bri?" He asked, sternly, worried.

"I don't know. Ever since we started dating she's been weird, and just a while ago, she asked what I would do if she left and would never see her again." Gerard said, watching Don rub his forehead.

"You mean she hasn't told you yet?" He asked.

"She hasn't told me anything." Gerard said, "Why? Hasn't told me what?"

Don sighed, "Bri..." Don struggled for words, "Gerard." Gerard had never heard Don say his name so sternly before, so he figured the worst was yet to come. "Brigetta is sick."

"Okay, so I'll get her some chicken soup and-"

"No, Gerard." Don said. "Brigetta has leukemia."

Gerard's heart stopped. Had he just heard him right? "W-what?"

"She's got leukemia. She was diagnosed a couple years ago." Don's eyes began to fill with tears. "She stopped responding to the treatments. She told herself she wasn't going to fall in love. But them you came along. And she fell for you, she fell for you hard."

Gerard looked up at him, was he lying? Gerard stood up and fought back tears as he walked from the small diner and into the streets. As soon as he got outside, he bolted down to Brigetta's house. He didn't stop. Not even when his chest felt like it was go explode. As he stopped on her porch, tears now fell freely from his eyes. He knocked on the door and as soon as it opened, enveloped his girlfriend in a hug. "Your dad told me." Gerard said, "He told me about your cancer."

Brigetta slowly pulled away. "Gerard..." She whispered, slowly going limp and collapsing into his arms.

Gerard gently put her down on the wooden porch and pulled his cell phone from his pocket, ripping it open and quickly dialing the ambulance.

While in the ambulance, he dialed Ray's cell phone number.

"Hello?" Ray answered.

"Ray, get the guys and go to the hospital, meet me there."

"Why? What's happening?" Ray asked, worried.

"Just go!" Gerard hung up the phone, staring down at Brigetta. The person he'd met and fallen in love within a matter of days, and was thought to marry. "Please don't go yet." He whispered.

Ray, Bob, Frank and Mikey rushed into the hospital, they happened to see Brigetta's father in the waiting room and skipped the receptionist's desk, walking in a fast pace right over to him.

"What's going on?" Bob asked.

"She's in a coma." Don looked up at them, wiping a tear from his face.

"Brigetta?" Mikey asked, feeling bad for Gerard. "Will she be okay?"

"She will. But she doesn't have a lot of time left."

"Do the doctors know what happened?" Ray asked.

Don looked to Ray. "Brigetta didn't tell you guys or Gerard this, but she didn't want to fall in love with anyone." Don said. "But she fell for Gerard." A slight smile rose on his lips. "You see, Brigetta has leukemia, she's known for about two years now, and about a year into her treatments, she stopped responding to them."

Ray's face fell slowly, followed by Bob, Mikey and Frank's.

Mikey felt that if he could; he'd sell his soul to the devil just for Brigetta to live, so Gerard wouldn't have to go though such a horrible pain.

Gerard and Don sat around with Brigetta for days, weeks, months, they weren't paying attention anymore all they wanted was for her to wake up. Gerard smiled at Brigetta and held onto her hand, wishing everything would be like it was, like he could turn back time and be with her again and again, and not have to sit there and wait for her to die. Slowly, Brigetta's eyes opened, she tilted her head to see Gerard with his face on her hand. "Gerard...?" She whispered hoarsely. Gerard's head snapped up and smiled.

"You're awake." Gerard smiled.

"Yep." She gave one of her award-winning smiles. "Gerard...?"

"Yeah?" Gerard asked, holding back tears.

"Sing me a song"

"Uh-I-I guess I could." He nodded his head. "I'll try." Gerard pulled the chair closer to the hospital bed Brigetta's figure was supported by and cleared his throat. "Um...What do you want me to sing?" He asked.

"Anything." Brigetta whispered.

"Okay..." Gerard thought for a moment before clearing his throat again before humming a tune in his head. "Hand in mine into your icy blues, and then I'd say to you we could take the highway. With this trunk of ammunition too, I'd end my days with you in a hail of bullets. I'm trying; I'm trying to let you know how much you mean to me. And after all the things we put each other through and I would drive on to the end with you..." Gerard sang, and finished Demolition Lovers. Brigetta had a weak smile on her face. She had loved the song of course, but she didn't have the strength in her muscles to smile fully.

Gerard couldn't hold it in any longer; he burst into tears, mumbling things to Brigetta she couldn't understand. She was laughing slightly on the outside but was crying on the inside. She didn't want to leave Gerard, he was so kind, so sweet, so caring, she hated to admit that she truly loved him, because if she did, it would make it harder to leave this world and carry on to the next. He was hers, and always would be, and she knew it.

Gerard stopped blubbering for a second and looked at her, wiping his tears away. "But what I don't understand is... how come you didn't tell me?" He asked, sniffling.

"'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you."

The last three months Gerard spent with Brigetta where the best, they had their deep talk one last time, they kissed one last time, they hugged one last time, they smiled one last time, and they laughed one last time, before Brigetta passed away. Gerard was holding her hand at the time, and he felt her life pass from her body.

It was brutal for Gerard, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't eat, he couldn't sing. The last thing that ever carried a melody past his lips was Demolition Lovers for Brigetta, and that didn't help the fact. Gerard wanted to clear his thoughts, and the only way he'd been able to do that lately was when he went to see Brigetta's grave.

He walked up to her headstone, engraved on it was her favorite quote from their lyrics: 'Juliet Loves the Beat and the Lust It Commands, Drop the Dagger and Lather the Blood On Your Hands Romeo.' Gerard smiled to himself and looked down to see a pure white card, handwriting scrawled across the top of it in Brigetta's handwriting, all fancy-like read 'Carry On...'


"...And though you're dead and gone believe me, your memory will carry on. We'll carry on. And though you're broken and defeated, your weary window marches on..." Gerard smiled into the crowd. He was singing, eating, and sleeping again, thanks to Brigetta.