Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco
" I love you." Brendon said as he kissed Audrey's lips softly. Audrey's heart rate quickened and her stomach felt sick at those words. She'd heard them before, from her ex, but to her, the words meant nothing. They were a simple way to fool someone into thinking that love was real and that it was felt. It was just something you said, not a feeling. Audrey pulled away from Brendon and smiled at him softly. Brendon smiled at her too, but unsurely. They sat there in an awkward silence for a moment, Audrey never repeating the words.
" I-" she began, not sure of her feelings. Brendon looked at her hopefully. " I-I gotta go. I'll see you later." Audrey got up from the bunk she had been sitting on in Panic!'s bus. Brendon nodded his head as she got her purse and left the bus. Ryan walked on after saying later to Audrey giving Brendon a weird look.
" Whadja do?" he asked as he walked over to Brendon who had his head in his hands.
" I told her I loved her man." Ryan smiled and thumped Brendon on the back, then stopped.
" She didn't say it back did she?" said Ryan softly. Brendon shook his head slowly. Ryan made an "O" shape with his mouth and patted Brendon's back sympatheticaly.
" Don't worry about it man, I know she loves you. She never looked at a guy like that before when we were growing up together." Ryan and Audrey had become friends when they were seven. All they had ever been were friends. During their high-school years, Audrey had gone out with this guy JT. She had loved him, with her total heart, and everything that was in her. He had been her first everything, she thought the two were going to be together forever. Ryan thought so too.
But then Audrey caught JT and another girl together in his car. Her heart was broken and she hadn't dated anyone for four years. Then Ryan introduced Brendon to her. He may have been two years younger, but there seemed to be some chemistry. Brendon had fallen head over heels for this chick. He really fell hard, and Ryan was happy that he had made his two best friends fall for each other so well.
But one thing he never told Brendon was that Audrey had never gotten over JT, that he was the only one she looked at with love in her eyes. Brendon was just a fling to her, she had told Ryan herself, but Ryan couldn't tell Brendon that, he had to given Brendon hope, even if it was false hope.
Ryan got off the bus saying he was going for a walk but was really going to find Audrey, to try and get her to talk to him. It had been only a couple minutes and the parking lot from the bus was about a twenty minute walk away.
Ryan broke off in a run, he could see Audreys figure ahead and ran with all the strength he had. When he was in ear shot he yelled, " Audrey! Wait up!" Audrey stopped in her tracks and waited for Ryan to catch up to her.
" Audrey! Do you know what you've just done?! You've broken his heart completely. You didn't even tell him you loved him! What's you're problem?! Do you have any idea how much he cares for you?! He's not like JT Audrey. He actually loves you. He's so bummed out right now." Audrey shook her head as her eyes welled with tears. Ryan really had no clue how she felt. She pinched the bridge of her nose to try and stop the tears from falling.
" Ryan...this has nothing to do with JT, nothing at all." Ryan stomped his foot impatiently.
" Yes it does. You loved the guy and you still do. You haven't gotten over him in these fours years even when he treated you like crap you still loved him. Then you find a guy who really actually cares and you just drop him. I don't get you. Don't you love him?" Ryan tried to read Audrey's face but it was too dark. She licked her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.
" Ryan...I don't love him." she started softly and sadly. Ryan threw his hands up in the air.
" Then why have you been messing with him all this time. Ever since we started warped did you start to act really weird." Audrey looked into Ryan's eyes fearfully. She never thought that she was would have to reveal her feelings, but it was something she could no longer avoid doing. She cleared her throat.
" Ryan...do you remember we were in the eighth grade and Mia Barton turned you down for the end of the year dance?" Ryan nodded his head.
" And then we went together because no guy asked you and I thought the whole lot of them were crazy." Ryan said. Audrey laughed and sniffled.
" Then we ditched the dance and went back to my house and you sang to me Here With Out You while we danced." Ryan nodded his head again, smiling. " The whole time you never took your eyes off mine."
Ryan looked at her slightly confused for a second.
" That's when I fell for you Ryan. That's when I realized you were the only one that I wanted to be with. But then summer came and we spent it apart because you went to Flordia with your family and I went to California with mine. By the time we came back, you had totally changed. Not in a bad way at all. You grew a few inches, your hair was longer and you totally rocked that guiatar of yours. We spent one week together before school started and then three days after the first day of school, Mia started to talk to you, and you asked her out again and this time she said yes. You seemed to like her soo much, I never told you how I felt. Then JT moved to our school and we talked, before I knew it we were making out in the back of his car, doing it in his room, saying I love you's under the stars. Everytime we did one of these things, I thought of you." Ryan raised his eyebrows, all this information seemed so new to him. He was very confused.
" Do you know how sick that is?! How guilty and bad I felt to be thinking of my best friend while I was fucking my boyfriend! How horribled I felt when I told him I love you picturing you in front of me saying it back to me." Audrey stopped talking for a moment to wipe her eyes.
" JT figured it out that I liked you not him, so we went our seperate ways saying we were going to be friends. Then I found him and Mia in his car doing it. I wasn't broken down because I found him cheating, I was broken down and pissed off because she was cheating on you. I was so happy when I told you I didn't like her and you broke up with her because you said I had good judgement." Audrey wiped away more tears.
" Then you started the band and you introduced me to Brendon. I had to get my mind off you when you started to date Chloe. Brendon was so sweet and nice and I liked him, never loved. Then warped tour came and Brendon invited me along to be one of your merch girls. I stayed on the same bus as you, it was torture not to hold you and love you like I was doing to Brendon. I never wanted to hurt him, I never wanted to hurt you. I love you Ryan...it's always been you." Ryan didn't know what came over him at that moment, he took Audrey's face in his hands and kissed her. Kissed her so fiercly that he thought they'd die from suffocation, but she pushed him off.
" I can't do this. I can't tear you and Brendon apart." she shook her head sadly. " I have to get out of here. I need to get away from the both of you." Ryan was speechless. He never said a word. Audrey hesitated before pecking Ryan on the cheek and walking away.
Ryan felt as if he was loosing a part of himself. Like she had taken part of his heart, and he wasn't about to be whole until she came back to him.
Ryan walked back to the bus to find Brendon pigging out on Ben and Jerry's.
" I thought only girls did that." said Spencer from his bunk. Brendon flipped him off.
" Fuck off Spence." he said. Spencer laughed amused. Ryan walked past Brendon to his bunk. Brendon eyed him carefully.
" Why're you so bummed out?" he asked Ryan.
Ryan shook his head, " I'll be fine." Ryan climbed into his bunk, pulling the curtain to give himself some privacy.
One thing no one had done before to Ryan, was break his heart the way Audrey had done, one thing he had always feared would happen. People had told him many times before.
' You can't be best friends with a girl with out getting your heart broken.'
" I-" she began, not sure of her feelings. Brendon looked at her hopefully. " I-I gotta go. I'll see you later." Audrey got up from the bunk she had been sitting on in Panic!'s bus. Brendon nodded his head as she got her purse and left the bus. Ryan walked on after saying later to Audrey giving Brendon a weird look.
" Whadja do?" he asked as he walked over to Brendon who had his head in his hands.
" I told her I loved her man." Ryan smiled and thumped Brendon on the back, then stopped.
" She didn't say it back did she?" said Ryan softly. Brendon shook his head slowly. Ryan made an "O" shape with his mouth and patted Brendon's back sympatheticaly.
" Don't worry about it man, I know she loves you. She never looked at a guy like that before when we were growing up together." Ryan and Audrey had become friends when they were seven. All they had ever been were friends. During their high-school years, Audrey had gone out with this guy JT. She had loved him, with her total heart, and everything that was in her. He had been her first everything, she thought the two were going to be together forever. Ryan thought so too.
But then Audrey caught JT and another girl together in his car. Her heart was broken and she hadn't dated anyone for four years. Then Ryan introduced Brendon to her. He may have been two years younger, but there seemed to be some chemistry. Brendon had fallen head over heels for this chick. He really fell hard, and Ryan was happy that he had made his two best friends fall for each other so well.
But one thing he never told Brendon was that Audrey had never gotten over JT, that he was the only one she looked at with love in her eyes. Brendon was just a fling to her, she had told Ryan herself, but Ryan couldn't tell Brendon that, he had to given Brendon hope, even if it was false hope.
Ryan got off the bus saying he was going for a walk but was really going to find Audrey, to try and get her to talk to him. It had been only a couple minutes and the parking lot from the bus was about a twenty minute walk away.
Ryan broke off in a run, he could see Audreys figure ahead and ran with all the strength he had. When he was in ear shot he yelled, " Audrey! Wait up!" Audrey stopped in her tracks and waited for Ryan to catch up to her.
" Audrey! Do you know what you've just done?! You've broken his heart completely. You didn't even tell him you loved him! What's you're problem?! Do you have any idea how much he cares for you?! He's not like JT Audrey. He actually loves you. He's so bummed out right now." Audrey shook her head as her eyes welled with tears. Ryan really had no clue how she felt. She pinched the bridge of her nose to try and stop the tears from falling.
" Ryan...this has nothing to do with JT, nothing at all." Ryan stomped his foot impatiently.
" Yes it does. You loved the guy and you still do. You haven't gotten over him in these fours years even when he treated you like crap you still loved him. Then you find a guy who really actually cares and you just drop him. I don't get you. Don't you love him?" Ryan tried to read Audrey's face but it was too dark. She licked her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.
" Ryan...I don't love him." she started softly and sadly. Ryan threw his hands up in the air.
" Then why have you been messing with him all this time. Ever since we started warped did you start to act really weird." Audrey looked into Ryan's eyes fearfully. She never thought that she was would have to reveal her feelings, but it was something she could no longer avoid doing. She cleared her throat.
" Ryan...do you remember we were in the eighth grade and Mia Barton turned you down for the end of the year dance?" Ryan nodded his head.
" And then we went together because no guy asked you and I thought the whole lot of them were crazy." Ryan said. Audrey laughed and sniffled.
" Then we ditched the dance and went back to my house and you sang to me Here With Out You while we danced." Ryan nodded his head again, smiling. " The whole time you never took your eyes off mine."
Ryan looked at her slightly confused for a second.
" That's when I fell for you Ryan. That's when I realized you were the only one that I wanted to be with. But then summer came and we spent it apart because you went to Flordia with your family and I went to California with mine. By the time we came back, you had totally changed. Not in a bad way at all. You grew a few inches, your hair was longer and you totally rocked that guiatar of yours. We spent one week together before school started and then three days after the first day of school, Mia started to talk to you, and you asked her out again and this time she said yes. You seemed to like her soo much, I never told you how I felt. Then JT moved to our school and we talked, before I knew it we were making out in the back of his car, doing it in his room, saying I love you's under the stars. Everytime we did one of these things, I thought of you." Ryan raised his eyebrows, all this information seemed so new to him. He was very confused.
" Do you know how sick that is?! How guilty and bad I felt to be thinking of my best friend while I was fucking my boyfriend! How horribled I felt when I told him I love you picturing you in front of me saying it back to me." Audrey stopped talking for a moment to wipe her eyes.
" JT figured it out that I liked you not him, so we went our seperate ways saying we were going to be friends. Then I found him and Mia in his car doing it. I wasn't broken down because I found him cheating, I was broken down and pissed off because she was cheating on you. I was so happy when I told you I didn't like her and you broke up with her because you said I had good judgement." Audrey wiped away more tears.
" Then you started the band and you introduced me to Brendon. I had to get my mind off you when you started to date Chloe. Brendon was so sweet and nice and I liked him, never loved. Then warped tour came and Brendon invited me along to be one of your merch girls. I stayed on the same bus as you, it was torture not to hold you and love you like I was doing to Brendon. I never wanted to hurt him, I never wanted to hurt you. I love you Ryan...it's always been you." Ryan didn't know what came over him at that moment, he took Audrey's face in his hands and kissed her. Kissed her so fiercly that he thought they'd die from suffocation, but she pushed him off.
" I can't do this. I can't tear you and Brendon apart." she shook her head sadly. " I have to get out of here. I need to get away from the both of you." Ryan was speechless. He never said a word. Audrey hesitated before pecking Ryan on the cheek and walking away.
Ryan felt as if he was loosing a part of himself. Like she had taken part of his heart, and he wasn't about to be whole until she came back to him.
Ryan walked back to the bus to find Brendon pigging out on Ben and Jerry's.
" I thought only girls did that." said Spencer from his bunk. Brendon flipped him off.
" Fuck off Spence." he said. Spencer laughed amused. Ryan walked past Brendon to his bunk. Brendon eyed him carefully.
" Why're you so bummed out?" he asked Ryan.
Ryan shook his head, " I'll be fine." Ryan climbed into his bunk, pulling the curtain to give himself some privacy.
One thing no one had done before to Ryan, was break his heart the way Audrey had done, one thing he had always feared would happen. People had told him many times before.
' You can't be best friends with a girl with out getting your heart broken.'
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