Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Just To Get Back In Her Arms
Just To Get Back In Her Arms
Chapter 7
Gerard began to walk back over to the sofa. "What is it Stef?"
"Well just sit down and let me think of a way to tell you this."
Gerard did as she said and sat where he had previously been. "Should I be worried?
"Um, no... worried isn't the word. You might be surprised, maybe. I mean, it's really kind of funny once you think about it-"
"Please just tell me," Gerard demanded, impatiently.
"Ok, well, that night... you know, the night. Do you remember what happened before we went upstairs?"
Gerard grinned. "Well yeah. We were making out on the sofa and that was about the extent of it."
"Do you remember taking anything upstairs with you?"
"No, not really. What's your point?"
Stef sighed. She was having the hardest time just coming out and saying what she wanted to. "Gerard, I left for school the next day to get on with my life. And about a month or so later, I started to frequently get sick for no reason. I was feeling weird and I didn't know what was wrong with me."
Gerard stared blankly at the wall in front of him. "What are you trying to say Stef?"
She was beginning to grow impatient. "Your wallet, Gerard! You did not bring your wallet upstairs with you!" Stef exclaimed, raising her voice. "Please say something."
Gerard knew what was coming next, but he didn't want to believe it. "I... I'm sorry, what are you telling me?"
"The condom was in your wallet. It was in your wallet downstairs and we were upstairs. Gerard... I left for school and I... I was pregnant. With your child."
Those words hit Gerard harder than he expected them to. He didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the wall, and Stef finally spoke up.
"I didn't know what to do. I was really scared and had nobody there with me but my roommate. I mean, how awkward was that? Confiding in a person that I barely knew... thankfully she-"
"Stop talking," Gerard finally said.
"Excuse me?"
"I said stop talking. I don't want to hear this bullshit."
"Bullshit? Gerard, this isn't bullshit, it's the truth!"
"Yeah, the truth that I should have heard 12 fucking years ago!"
Tears began to well up in Stef's eyes. "Please, just try to understand..."
"No, you know what I understand? You were carrying my child- MY child- and didn't bother to tell me. And where is he or she now?"
Stef stared at him, dumbfounded. "Well... as much as I wanted to, I couldn't keep it so-"
"Yeah, that's what I thought. So not only was my child inside of you and you didn't tell me, but you also killed it without asking ME what I thought about the whole thing."
"Don't say it like that! That's not how it was."
"Oh, but that's exactly how it was. You said you had nobody there with you, huh? Why couldn't you have called me?"
"And why did you leave me that night? You know, we can ask so many questions about why we did what we did in the past, and none of it may ever make sense. I can't take back what I did, and I wouldn't if I could. I was in no position to be a mother and you sure as hell were in NO condition to be a father. You mean to tell me you would have come to see me and to figure things out."
"Well yeah, probably." Gerard knew what he was saying was a lie, but he told her that anyway.
"I really wish I could believe that. You honestly have no clue what I went through."
"Oh well then, please, enlighten me," Gerard said sarcastically.
"You don't know what you did to me after that night. You screwed me up completely. I thought maybe it meant something, but obviously I was wrong. So I went to school and literally 2 weeks later I got really drunk and had sex with some guy I barely knew, just to prove to myself that I could be over you. And you know what? That didn't help." The tears began flowing freely down Stef's face as bad memories came flooding back to her. Gerard showed no compassion.
"So then the kid was probably his anyway. Case closed."
"No! I know it was yours... I actually used a condom with him. And I went to the doctor, we figured it out... it was yours."
"Yet you still didn't tell me."
"Gerard, I couldn't talk to you then. Sarah was one of the few who knew. My mom to this day doesn't know that I had an abortion! And Mikey thought it would be best if you didn't know."
A look of rage came over Gerard's face. "I'm sorry, did you just say my brother's name?"
"Shit," Stef said under her breath.
"You told MIKEY and not ME? And worse yet, my own flesh and blood didn't tell me himself? You've got to be kidding me! I can't believe this."
"He swore to me, Gerard. He swore he wouldn't tell a soul, especially you."
"Oh, well this is just great. I know all you guys like to talk about me behind my back, 'Oh Gerard's a screw up', 'Gerard needed help', and blah blah. And you know what, that's fine. But this? This is bigger than all of that. I had a child that was aborted without my consent."
"It wasn't just your child! It took the two of us, you know! You really think giving it up was easy for me? The most pain I have ever felt was knowing that I had helped to create something and now I was destroying it." Stef was sobbing in her hands. Gerard just shook his head.
"Whatever, I have to leave."
"Please don't," she said, in between tears.
"I can't stay here," he said while walking to the door. "You've been keeping this from me when I had a right to know. I'm gone."
"You can't leave, please stay and talk to me," Stef begged as she fell to her knees, feeling more weak than she ever had before.
"You are the last person I want to see. You are the last person I want to talk to. I guess I'll see you tomorrow night, but I can't look at you right now." Gerard slammed the door behind him as he walked out. Stef scrambled up to grab her cell phone and dialed Mikey's number.
"Hey Stef, aren't you so excited to come tomorrow???" Mikey asked as soon as he picked up the phone.
"Mikey..." He could hear her still crying.
"God Stef, are you ok?"
"He knows."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"The baby. Mikey, Gerard knows about the baby. And he knows that you kept it from him. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"Shh, Stef. It's ok. Just calm down. I'll take care of this."
"I'm sorry, Mikey. I didn't mean for Gerard to flip shit on me. I just thought he should finally know... he wanted to kiss me and I stopped him and... I just thought he should know." She burst into tears again.
"What, he tried to kiss you? Stef, just don't worry about it. He just has to blow off some steam, I mean, that's a lot to take in. You don't have to still come tomorrow if you don't want to."
"No, I'm still coming. He probably won't talk to me, but I'm coming."
"Ok. Well just let me know if you need to talk or something. And I'll handle things with Gerard. Just don't worry about it. You did what was best for you, and that's all that matters."
"Alright. Thank you so much."
"Hey, what else are best friends for?"
"I love you mucho Mikey."
"Me too, Stef. Chin up. I'll see you tomorrow."
Stef hung up the phone, feeling slightly better than she had before, but still not great. She stood up and walked into her bedroom where she put on some quiet music, turned off the light, and collapsed on her bed.
Chapter 7
Gerard began to walk back over to the sofa. "What is it Stef?"
"Well just sit down and let me think of a way to tell you this."
Gerard did as she said and sat where he had previously been. "Should I be worried?
"Um, no... worried isn't the word. You might be surprised, maybe. I mean, it's really kind of funny once you think about it-"
"Please just tell me," Gerard demanded, impatiently.
"Ok, well, that night... you know, the night. Do you remember what happened before we went upstairs?"
Gerard grinned. "Well yeah. We were making out on the sofa and that was about the extent of it."
"Do you remember taking anything upstairs with you?"
"No, not really. What's your point?"
Stef sighed. She was having the hardest time just coming out and saying what she wanted to. "Gerard, I left for school the next day to get on with my life. And about a month or so later, I started to frequently get sick for no reason. I was feeling weird and I didn't know what was wrong with me."
Gerard stared blankly at the wall in front of him. "What are you trying to say Stef?"
She was beginning to grow impatient. "Your wallet, Gerard! You did not bring your wallet upstairs with you!" Stef exclaimed, raising her voice. "Please say something."
Gerard knew what was coming next, but he didn't want to believe it. "I... I'm sorry, what are you telling me?"
"The condom was in your wallet. It was in your wallet downstairs and we were upstairs. Gerard... I left for school and I... I was pregnant. With your child."
Those words hit Gerard harder than he expected them to. He didn't say anything, just continued to stare at the wall, and Stef finally spoke up.
"I didn't know what to do. I was really scared and had nobody there with me but my roommate. I mean, how awkward was that? Confiding in a person that I barely knew... thankfully she-"
"Stop talking," Gerard finally said.
"Excuse me?"
"I said stop talking. I don't want to hear this bullshit."
"Bullshit? Gerard, this isn't bullshit, it's the truth!"
"Yeah, the truth that I should have heard 12 fucking years ago!"
Tears began to well up in Stef's eyes. "Please, just try to understand..."
"No, you know what I understand? You were carrying my child- MY child- and didn't bother to tell me. And where is he or she now?"
Stef stared at him, dumbfounded. "Well... as much as I wanted to, I couldn't keep it so-"
"Yeah, that's what I thought. So not only was my child inside of you and you didn't tell me, but you also killed it without asking ME what I thought about the whole thing."
"Don't say it like that! That's not how it was."
"Oh, but that's exactly how it was. You said you had nobody there with you, huh? Why couldn't you have called me?"
"And why did you leave me that night? You know, we can ask so many questions about why we did what we did in the past, and none of it may ever make sense. I can't take back what I did, and I wouldn't if I could. I was in no position to be a mother and you sure as hell were in NO condition to be a father. You mean to tell me you would have come to see me and to figure things out."
"Well yeah, probably." Gerard knew what he was saying was a lie, but he told her that anyway.
"I really wish I could believe that. You honestly have no clue what I went through."
"Oh well then, please, enlighten me," Gerard said sarcastically.
"You don't know what you did to me after that night. You screwed me up completely. I thought maybe it meant something, but obviously I was wrong. So I went to school and literally 2 weeks later I got really drunk and had sex with some guy I barely knew, just to prove to myself that I could be over you. And you know what? That didn't help." The tears began flowing freely down Stef's face as bad memories came flooding back to her. Gerard showed no compassion.
"So then the kid was probably his anyway. Case closed."
"No! I know it was yours... I actually used a condom with him. And I went to the doctor, we figured it out... it was yours."
"Yet you still didn't tell me."
"Gerard, I couldn't talk to you then. Sarah was one of the few who knew. My mom to this day doesn't know that I had an abortion! And Mikey thought it would be best if you didn't know."
A look of rage came over Gerard's face. "I'm sorry, did you just say my brother's name?"
"Shit," Stef said under her breath.
"You told MIKEY and not ME? And worse yet, my own flesh and blood didn't tell me himself? You've got to be kidding me! I can't believe this."
"He swore to me, Gerard. He swore he wouldn't tell a soul, especially you."
"Oh, well this is just great. I know all you guys like to talk about me behind my back, 'Oh Gerard's a screw up', 'Gerard needed help', and blah blah. And you know what, that's fine. But this? This is bigger than all of that. I had a child that was aborted without my consent."
"It wasn't just your child! It took the two of us, you know! You really think giving it up was easy for me? The most pain I have ever felt was knowing that I had helped to create something and now I was destroying it." Stef was sobbing in her hands. Gerard just shook his head.
"Whatever, I have to leave."
"Please don't," she said, in between tears.
"I can't stay here," he said while walking to the door. "You've been keeping this from me when I had a right to know. I'm gone."
"You can't leave, please stay and talk to me," Stef begged as she fell to her knees, feeling more weak than she ever had before.
"You are the last person I want to see. You are the last person I want to talk to. I guess I'll see you tomorrow night, but I can't look at you right now." Gerard slammed the door behind him as he walked out. Stef scrambled up to grab her cell phone and dialed Mikey's number.
"Hey Stef, aren't you so excited to come tomorrow???" Mikey asked as soon as he picked up the phone.
"Mikey..." He could hear her still crying.
"God Stef, are you ok?"
"He knows."
"What? What are you talking about?"
"The baby. Mikey, Gerard knows about the baby. And he knows that you kept it from him. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"Shh, Stef. It's ok. Just calm down. I'll take care of this."
"I'm sorry, Mikey. I didn't mean for Gerard to flip shit on me. I just thought he should finally know... he wanted to kiss me and I stopped him and... I just thought he should know." She burst into tears again.
"What, he tried to kiss you? Stef, just don't worry about it. He just has to blow off some steam, I mean, that's a lot to take in. You don't have to still come tomorrow if you don't want to."
"No, I'm still coming. He probably won't talk to me, but I'm coming."
"Ok. Well just let me know if you need to talk or something. And I'll handle things with Gerard. Just don't worry about it. You did what was best for you, and that's all that matters."
"Alright. Thank you so much."
"Hey, what else are best friends for?"
"I love you mucho Mikey."
"Me too, Stef. Chin up. I'll see you tomorrow."
Stef hung up the phone, feeling slightly better than she had before, but still not great. She stood up and walked into her bedroom where she put on some quiet music, turned off the light, and collapsed on her bed.
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