Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Down the road, not across the street
You look pretty sinking.
9 reviewsObstacles, obstacles everywhere and not a moment to breathe. WARNING: Violent themes!!!!
1Exciting
I hate this "updating once every week" business but sadly that is the life of a uni student. Well first semester is almost over which means I can spend more time 'wasting' (more like devoting) a lot of my time to writing for you guys. Aren't I sweet? Haw haw haw.
I didn't plot exact details for this chapter, but I had some ideas. However, I thought I'd incorporate some of my reviewers' suggestions for a change. Let me know if it was a good idea and how it worked out.
Also I forgot to mention in my last chapter. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR HELPING ME GET TO 100+ REVIEWS... squee I love you all, especially my regulars & devoted readers. This one's for you.
*
Chapter 18: You look pretty sinking.
Ryan's POV
God, please let this not be true.
"But... we... only once... and used..." I stuttered pathetically
"Clearly it didn't /work/. One time is all it takes Ryan," her voice was so serious than I had ever heard before.
She sat on the bed and started to cry. Me? Well I stood there like any other typical male, not knowing what or say or do. Wanting to comfort her and tell her it was going to be okay, but not being able to because I was trying to convince myself the same. Then just like my mother, I turned and walked out the door, leaving all my problems behind me.
I stepped outside into the darkness; the spring air had turned much cooler, its coldness pierced my skin. I stepped into the first pub I came across. I sat behind the bar, not expecting anything but to be left alone in the dimness of the warm light.
"What will it be, kid?" asked the bar tender, interrupting my thoughts.
This was a public place, not one of our usual hot spot clubs where we got everything we wanted because we were famous, however no request for ID, nothing. Not surprisingly, I went with my first instinct, "Bourbon and coke, no ice."
I didn't find any answers at the bottom of the glass, but boy could it drown my sorrows. After several more drinks, I found myself pouring my heart out to the bar tender. He kindly suggested I go home, and eventually I straggled back to the hotel room. Chastity was already asleep on the bed. I didn't want to wake her so I stayed on the couch. For the second night in a row I lay wide awake, reflecting on how badly I had screwed up.
I have to keep the baby.
And if she doesn't want to? I questioned myself.
I still have to keep the baby... I think.
I'm not ready to be a dad.
Oh god, what will Amara think? I'll lose her forever when she finds out. And Mr. Jacobs! When he finds out I knocked up his daughter he'll bury me and the band.
Planning to break up with her is nothing compared to this.
It was another night I could add to the long list of sleepless nights I had endured ever since we got signed. I had expected this on the tour but for completely different reasons. For once I felt grateful for alcohol, as it numbed the pain in my heart, slowed down the thoughts racing through my head, eventually helping me to fall asleep.
[The following morning...]
Amara's POV
We woke up the next morning and sat down together for our last breakfast at the cabin. By lunch we had packed up all our belongings into the cars and headed back into town. When we arrived I convinced them I had an urgent 'craving' for decent coffee to fulfil. They all saw through my lame ploy to avoid Ryan and Chastity, however there I stood in the local Starbucks while the boys headed to Ryan's hotel room.
As I turned to leave the counter I hadn't realise how close I was to the person standing behind me. Predictably, I walked directly into him spilling the contents of my coffee cup all over him and myself. I was about to start swearing my head off at the guy for standing so close when I did a double take. I froze, believing for a split second that it was Ryan I had walked into. His face seemed so familiar as I looked up at the same dark brown hair, fringe and spiky top, all except for the eyes. He didn't have the same warm brown eyes that Ryan had, but instead they were a beautiful piercing steel grey.
"Amara?" he said.
"Oh my god, Wil! Is that you?"
"Yeah. It's me alright," he smiled charmingly.
"I didn't recognise you. Oh god, sorry about the latte," I said as we stepped out of the line and dried ourselves off. "What are you doing here in London?" I asked him.
"Just visiting friends before I backpack across Europe, clichéd I know."
We sat down at a booth so we could talk in private.
"I haven't seen you in over a year. Gosh you've grown up, changed your hair and everything," I gushed.
He blushed. "Yeah..."
"I'm sorry I didn't keep in contact. It was just hard after... you know..." I trailed off.
He reciprocated with a warm smile to prove there were no hard feelings. "Yeah, I love my brother but I know he was a real dick to you, AJ. I'm hoping his time in the big house will set him straight."
"Wait, /what/? He's in jail? What happened to the rehab?" I said stunned.
"Long story short, he just caused chaos there. He kept getting into fights, stealing from other patients and abusing doctors. It got really bad, but moving on... What brings you to London?"
"Ummm. Ha, well my long story cut short is... believe it or not, I'm actually on tour with Brendon, Jon, Spencer and Ryan... you remember them from high school yeah?
"Oh yeah... Panic! at the Disco right?"
I nodded.
"Oh wait Amara, aren't they here in London with Fall Out Boy too? I bet you've met them, what are they like?" he drilled me like an army sergeant.
"Ha ha yeah I've umm met them. Well not much to say sorry, nice bunch of guys, joking around all the time like in the interviews. Patrick's the funniest, and he always walks around the bus naked." I joked while wiggling my eyebrows at Wil.
"What's that look for!? What are you insinuating?" he cried.
"Oh nothing," I smirked. "I just remembered how much you were in love with Patrick. Can't say I blame you, I have trouble trying not to falling in love with him myself."
"I was not in love with /Patrick/. I love every member of Fall Out Boy equally. So uh.. they around at the moment." He gazed shiftily around the café, as if waiting for a famous face to jump out at him.
"They're not here silly... oops let me get that," I said as I answered my phone.
"Heyyy. Bus yeah? I'll be there in five. Can I bring a friend? Ah k cool, see you soon."
"Speak of the devil. I know this is a rhetorical question but... would you like to meet the guys? I'm sure Brendon and the guys would love to see you again."
He gave me a cheeky grin as red started to form in his cheeks, "In answer to that rhetorical question... Duhh!!"
We met up for a late lunch at the tour bus the boys were sharing. I walked in, dragging the shy Wil behind me. "Hey, Jon, Brendon, Spence, Ry... look who I bumped into!"
"Hey look who it is, lil' Willy! My have you grown, I haven't seen you since you were this high," laughed Jon.
"Stop patronising the poor guy. Hey man good to see you again," welcomed Spencer as Brendon pulled him into a manly embrace.
I noticed Ryan held back, merely offering a small smile and wave of his hand. I also noticed how he was wearing dark sunnies with the white frame, indoors.
"Is he covering a black eye or something?" I whispered to Jon.
"No, just hung-over," he replied. What!?
I forgot about all the awkwardness between us and sat down next to him. "Ry have you been drinking? What's wrong?" I asked him gently as I reached for his hand.
"Leave me alone, Amara." he grumbled irritably at me. That was not the Ryan I know. He pulled his hand away from my grasp and then I cracked. I leapt up from the couch when I saw Chastity enter the room.
"Ryan doesn't drink! What the FUCK did you do to him? You don't deserve someone like him, you stupid bitch," I started screaming at her.
She looked at me with the calmest expression, as if we were having a friendly conversation over coffee. "Excuse me, I didn't do anything. How can you be so sure you're not the reason he was drinking last night?" she smirked smugly over me.
I stormed towards her and slapped that stupid look off her face. She reached for the spot I had made contact. "Defensive aren't we? I wonder why... maybe it's because I have Ryan and you don't," she taunted on.
"I should bash your face in right now." I threatened her, my face inches away from hers.
She looked at me cockily, with one eyebrow raised, before closing in on the gap. "I wouldn't if I were you. You don't look like the type to hit a pregnant woman. Wanna guess who the father is," she whispered loud enough for only me to hear.
I was hit with momentary shock. My earlier desire to tackle her to the ground diminished, however not enough to stop me from laying another hand mark on her pasty complexion. My anger was still there and growing stronger by the second. She smiled menacingly at me before hitting me just as hard in retaliation. I blocked her second attempt to hurt me, which then resulted in her shoving me the stomach. I was winded and knocked to the floor where she then sat on my stomach her right fist held high.
I flipped her onto her back before she could hit me again. Instinctively, she held her arms in front of her face in defence. "Ryannnnnn!" she pleaded for him. I grabbed her tee with both hands and pulled her close when we were pulled apart.
"Amara stop," cried Brendon
"CHASTITY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" yelled Ryan, stunned at his girlfriend's bipolar behaviour. Pete held me back while she remained on the floor, Patrick holding her down at the shoulders.
"Amara don't, she's not worth it," Pete persuaded.
"Oh, look at you Wentz, coming in on your high horse. Thanks for coming to my rescue and all but you're sending mixed signals. You really need to decide already cause ya know... despite what you'd like to think, you can't have us both," she mocked.
"Pete, what the fuck is this crazy bitch on about?" I asked him. I found myself no longer needing to struggle against his hold, as his hands were now pointing accusingly at Chastity.
"Hey, I already told you. Nothing is going to happen between us. Just accept that I'm not interested!" he shouted angrily.
"Oh how could I forget? In New York it was all Amara this, Amara that. I get to London and nothing's changed. All I hear out of your mouth is how you're still pathetically in love with her."
New York? I looked to Pete for an answer. Oh god, Chastity's the one. She's the girl from the tabloid.
She broke aggressively from Patrick's grasp, knocking him backwards. She then turned viciously towards me and started to charge in fury.
"You want every guy to yourself don't you Amara, just pick one already god dammit! I've seen the way you look at my boyfriend. YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM AREN'T YOU!?! Well you can have them all because I am done with this OC drama shit," she ranted on while circling the room.
"Pete?" I mumbled.
"Amara I promise you, I've never met her until two days ago. Everything she said I told her last night in the hospital. She's lying Amara. She is not the girl from New York and even if she were, you'd know that nothing ever happened with that dancer if you just let me explain."
I closed my eyes, tyring to collect my thoughts and organise all the contradicting stories and lies. I looked intensely into Pete's eyes before turning around and giving Chastity one final hit. My momentary case of insanity resulted in my fist connecting with her nose. She flew backwards and fell head first onto the edge of the kitchen table. She grasped at anything for balance, which only resulted in bringing the table cloth and its contents down with her.
*
gasp
RR&R
I didn't plot exact details for this chapter, but I had some ideas. However, I thought I'd incorporate some of my reviewers' suggestions for a change. Let me know if it was a good idea and how it worked out.
Also I forgot to mention in my last chapter. THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR HELPING ME GET TO 100+ REVIEWS... squee I love you all, especially my regulars & devoted readers. This one's for you.
*
Chapter 18: You look pretty sinking.
Ryan's POV
God, please let this not be true.
"But... we... only once... and used..." I stuttered pathetically
"Clearly it didn't /work/. One time is all it takes Ryan," her voice was so serious than I had ever heard before.
She sat on the bed and started to cry. Me? Well I stood there like any other typical male, not knowing what or say or do. Wanting to comfort her and tell her it was going to be okay, but not being able to because I was trying to convince myself the same. Then just like my mother, I turned and walked out the door, leaving all my problems behind me.
I stepped outside into the darkness; the spring air had turned much cooler, its coldness pierced my skin. I stepped into the first pub I came across. I sat behind the bar, not expecting anything but to be left alone in the dimness of the warm light.
"What will it be, kid?" asked the bar tender, interrupting my thoughts.
This was a public place, not one of our usual hot spot clubs where we got everything we wanted because we were famous, however no request for ID, nothing. Not surprisingly, I went with my first instinct, "Bourbon and coke, no ice."
I didn't find any answers at the bottom of the glass, but boy could it drown my sorrows. After several more drinks, I found myself pouring my heart out to the bar tender. He kindly suggested I go home, and eventually I straggled back to the hotel room. Chastity was already asleep on the bed. I didn't want to wake her so I stayed on the couch. For the second night in a row I lay wide awake, reflecting on how badly I had screwed up.
I have to keep the baby.
And if she doesn't want to? I questioned myself.
I still have to keep the baby... I think.
I'm not ready to be a dad.
Oh god, what will Amara think? I'll lose her forever when she finds out. And Mr. Jacobs! When he finds out I knocked up his daughter he'll bury me and the band.
Planning to break up with her is nothing compared to this.
It was another night I could add to the long list of sleepless nights I had endured ever since we got signed. I had expected this on the tour but for completely different reasons. For once I felt grateful for alcohol, as it numbed the pain in my heart, slowed down the thoughts racing through my head, eventually helping me to fall asleep.
[The following morning...]
Amara's POV
We woke up the next morning and sat down together for our last breakfast at the cabin. By lunch we had packed up all our belongings into the cars and headed back into town. When we arrived I convinced them I had an urgent 'craving' for decent coffee to fulfil. They all saw through my lame ploy to avoid Ryan and Chastity, however there I stood in the local Starbucks while the boys headed to Ryan's hotel room.
As I turned to leave the counter I hadn't realise how close I was to the person standing behind me. Predictably, I walked directly into him spilling the contents of my coffee cup all over him and myself. I was about to start swearing my head off at the guy for standing so close when I did a double take. I froze, believing for a split second that it was Ryan I had walked into. His face seemed so familiar as I looked up at the same dark brown hair, fringe and spiky top, all except for the eyes. He didn't have the same warm brown eyes that Ryan had, but instead they were a beautiful piercing steel grey.
"Amara?" he said.
"Oh my god, Wil! Is that you?"
"Yeah. It's me alright," he smiled charmingly.
"I didn't recognise you. Oh god, sorry about the latte," I said as we stepped out of the line and dried ourselves off. "What are you doing here in London?" I asked him.
"Just visiting friends before I backpack across Europe, clichéd I know."
We sat down at a booth so we could talk in private.
"I haven't seen you in over a year. Gosh you've grown up, changed your hair and everything," I gushed.
He blushed. "Yeah..."
"I'm sorry I didn't keep in contact. It was just hard after... you know..." I trailed off.
He reciprocated with a warm smile to prove there were no hard feelings. "Yeah, I love my brother but I know he was a real dick to you, AJ. I'm hoping his time in the big house will set him straight."
"Wait, /what/? He's in jail? What happened to the rehab?" I said stunned.
"Long story short, he just caused chaos there. He kept getting into fights, stealing from other patients and abusing doctors. It got really bad, but moving on... What brings you to London?"
"Ummm. Ha, well my long story cut short is... believe it or not, I'm actually on tour with Brendon, Jon, Spencer and Ryan... you remember them from high school yeah?
"Oh yeah... Panic! at the Disco right?"
I nodded.
"Oh wait Amara, aren't they here in London with Fall Out Boy too? I bet you've met them, what are they like?" he drilled me like an army sergeant.
"Ha ha yeah I've umm met them. Well not much to say sorry, nice bunch of guys, joking around all the time like in the interviews. Patrick's the funniest, and he always walks around the bus naked." I joked while wiggling my eyebrows at Wil.
"What's that look for!? What are you insinuating?" he cried.
"Oh nothing," I smirked. "I just remembered how much you were in love with Patrick. Can't say I blame you, I have trouble trying not to falling in love with him myself."
"I was not in love with /Patrick/. I love every member of Fall Out Boy equally. So uh.. they around at the moment." He gazed shiftily around the café, as if waiting for a famous face to jump out at him.
"They're not here silly... oops let me get that," I said as I answered my phone.
"Heyyy. Bus yeah? I'll be there in five. Can I bring a friend? Ah k cool, see you soon."
"Speak of the devil. I know this is a rhetorical question but... would you like to meet the guys? I'm sure Brendon and the guys would love to see you again."
He gave me a cheeky grin as red started to form in his cheeks, "In answer to that rhetorical question... Duhh!!"
We met up for a late lunch at the tour bus the boys were sharing. I walked in, dragging the shy Wil behind me. "Hey, Jon, Brendon, Spence, Ry... look who I bumped into!"
"Hey look who it is, lil' Willy! My have you grown, I haven't seen you since you were this high," laughed Jon.
"Stop patronising the poor guy. Hey man good to see you again," welcomed Spencer as Brendon pulled him into a manly embrace.
I noticed Ryan held back, merely offering a small smile and wave of his hand. I also noticed how he was wearing dark sunnies with the white frame, indoors.
"Is he covering a black eye or something?" I whispered to Jon.
"No, just hung-over," he replied. What!?
I forgot about all the awkwardness between us and sat down next to him. "Ry have you been drinking? What's wrong?" I asked him gently as I reached for his hand.
"Leave me alone, Amara." he grumbled irritably at me. That was not the Ryan I know. He pulled his hand away from my grasp and then I cracked. I leapt up from the couch when I saw Chastity enter the room.
"Ryan doesn't drink! What the FUCK did you do to him? You don't deserve someone like him, you stupid bitch," I started screaming at her.
She looked at me with the calmest expression, as if we were having a friendly conversation over coffee. "Excuse me, I didn't do anything. How can you be so sure you're not the reason he was drinking last night?" she smirked smugly over me.
I stormed towards her and slapped that stupid look off her face. She reached for the spot I had made contact. "Defensive aren't we? I wonder why... maybe it's because I have Ryan and you don't," she taunted on.
"I should bash your face in right now." I threatened her, my face inches away from hers.
She looked at me cockily, with one eyebrow raised, before closing in on the gap. "I wouldn't if I were you. You don't look like the type to hit a pregnant woman. Wanna guess who the father is," she whispered loud enough for only me to hear.
I was hit with momentary shock. My earlier desire to tackle her to the ground diminished, however not enough to stop me from laying another hand mark on her pasty complexion. My anger was still there and growing stronger by the second. She smiled menacingly at me before hitting me just as hard in retaliation. I blocked her second attempt to hurt me, which then resulted in her shoving me the stomach. I was winded and knocked to the floor where she then sat on my stomach her right fist held high.
I flipped her onto her back before she could hit me again. Instinctively, she held her arms in front of her face in defence. "Ryannnnnn!" she pleaded for him. I grabbed her tee with both hands and pulled her close when we were pulled apart.
"Amara stop," cried Brendon
"CHASTITY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" yelled Ryan, stunned at his girlfriend's bipolar behaviour. Pete held me back while she remained on the floor, Patrick holding her down at the shoulders.
"Amara don't, she's not worth it," Pete persuaded.
"Oh, look at you Wentz, coming in on your high horse. Thanks for coming to my rescue and all but you're sending mixed signals. You really need to decide already cause ya know... despite what you'd like to think, you can't have us both," she mocked.
"Pete, what the fuck is this crazy bitch on about?" I asked him. I found myself no longer needing to struggle against his hold, as his hands were now pointing accusingly at Chastity.
"Hey, I already told you. Nothing is going to happen between us. Just accept that I'm not interested!" he shouted angrily.
"Oh how could I forget? In New York it was all Amara this, Amara that. I get to London and nothing's changed. All I hear out of your mouth is how you're still pathetically in love with her."
New York? I looked to Pete for an answer. Oh god, Chastity's the one. She's the girl from the tabloid.
She broke aggressively from Patrick's grasp, knocking him backwards. She then turned viciously towards me and started to charge in fury.
"You want every guy to yourself don't you Amara, just pick one already god dammit! I've seen the way you look at my boyfriend. YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HIM AREN'T YOU!?! Well you can have them all because I am done with this OC drama shit," she ranted on while circling the room.
"Pete?" I mumbled.
"Amara I promise you, I've never met her until two days ago. Everything she said I told her last night in the hospital. She's lying Amara. She is not the girl from New York and even if she were, you'd know that nothing ever happened with that dancer if you just let me explain."
I closed my eyes, tyring to collect my thoughts and organise all the contradicting stories and lies. I looked intensely into Pete's eyes before turning around and giving Chastity one final hit. My momentary case of insanity resulted in my fist connecting with her nose. She flew backwards and fell head first onto the edge of the kitchen table. She grasped at anything for balance, which only resulted in bringing the table cloth and its contents down with her.
*
gasp
RR&R
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