Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Lexi the Llama
May 24th, 2007
2 reviewsJust a blog-type thingy for when I can't bring myself to write anything else. Updates, spoilers and random thoughts. Short and sweet.
0Unrated
I really hate life right now.
Seriously.
I miss so much school for various reasons and my friends KNOW something is wrong. They're always asking me, "Were you sick? Did someone die? Are you okay?"
Yes, yes, yes. Well, maybe a yes for some of those. I'm not really sure; am I sick? Did someone die? Am I okay? It's kinda sad, not knowing if someone is dead or alive, but I honestly don't know.
And I've been getting sick lots. But half the time, I'm not even sure if I'm actually sick or if I just don't want to go to school.
I'm really clingy with my mum lately. Which is weird, 'cause a couple months ago, we fucking hated eachother. But now...she's pretty much the only friend I've got. And I have every reason to move to Alberta with my dad and step mum, but I don't think I could handle being seperated from my mum.
I am totally ready to leave my friends, or lack there-of. I don't know what's with Cherise and Felicia lately...they've really been sucked into that little grade eight world of gossip and stuff. I talk to them on the phone and I want to shoot myself, it's like, "Oh mah gawd, then he said this, so she did this, and he got all upset and they broke up, and now she's doing that other guy with the weird hair..."
And then there's Tara. How to I begin to explain Tara? My mum thinks she's being a bitch to me. But it's not that, it really isn't...she's just...not really there anymore. She's always with Kenzie. And I hate saying that, 'cause I thought the whole "She's stealing my best friend!" thing was over in grade four, but it really isn't. It's happening right now. And I'm not jealous of Kenzie, I love Kenzie. I'm just jealous of the fact that she sees Tara every weekend and I haven't seen Tara for over a month.
Who really wants to live like that, no friends? I sure don't. I mean, I'm not a total loner. I'm part of the group of kids who've known me since kindergarten, but we're not close. So...leaving wouldn't be a huge loss. I'd just miss Tara, but I don't think she'd miss me half as much.
My mum commented the other night, "You know, you don't have to take Tara to HCT. You can go alone." And I jumped right up; I mean, I can't go to a FOB show without Tara. She'd hate me forever. But the night I got the tickets, I called Tara all excited, and the next day, she hardly spoke to me. It severly pissed me off. I mean, I have the tickets. My parents paid for them. I can take whoever the hell I want. But I want to take Tara. I don't know if I'm taking her because I feel obligated or if this is a last attempt to save our friendship before I move.
Which will be wonderful. I know you shouldn't run from your problems, but that is really the only solution to all my problems; running. I have screwed up my life here sooo bad. I can't wait to start over. New house, new town, new school, new people, new friends.
So, yeah. I know my friends don't read this.
But that's what's wrong; everything.
Fucking everything
-Lexi
Seriously.
I miss so much school for various reasons and my friends KNOW something is wrong. They're always asking me, "Were you sick? Did someone die? Are you okay?"
Yes, yes, yes. Well, maybe a yes for some of those. I'm not really sure; am I sick? Did someone die? Am I okay? It's kinda sad, not knowing if someone is dead or alive, but I honestly don't know.
And I've been getting sick lots. But half the time, I'm not even sure if I'm actually sick or if I just don't want to go to school.
I'm really clingy with my mum lately. Which is weird, 'cause a couple months ago, we fucking hated eachother. But now...she's pretty much the only friend I've got. And I have every reason to move to Alberta with my dad and step mum, but I don't think I could handle being seperated from my mum.
I am totally ready to leave my friends, or lack there-of. I don't know what's with Cherise and Felicia lately...they've really been sucked into that little grade eight world of gossip and stuff. I talk to them on the phone and I want to shoot myself, it's like, "Oh mah gawd, then he said this, so she did this, and he got all upset and they broke up, and now she's doing that other guy with the weird hair..."
And then there's Tara. How to I begin to explain Tara? My mum thinks she's being a bitch to me. But it's not that, it really isn't...she's just...not really there anymore. She's always with Kenzie. And I hate saying that, 'cause I thought the whole "She's stealing my best friend!" thing was over in grade four, but it really isn't. It's happening right now. And I'm not jealous of Kenzie, I love Kenzie. I'm just jealous of the fact that she sees Tara every weekend and I haven't seen Tara for over a month.
Who really wants to live like that, no friends? I sure don't. I mean, I'm not a total loner. I'm part of the group of kids who've known me since kindergarten, but we're not close. So...leaving wouldn't be a huge loss. I'd just miss Tara, but I don't think she'd miss me half as much.
My mum commented the other night, "You know, you don't have to take Tara to HCT. You can go alone." And I jumped right up; I mean, I can't go to a FOB show without Tara. She'd hate me forever. But the night I got the tickets, I called Tara all excited, and the next day, she hardly spoke to me. It severly pissed me off. I mean, I have the tickets. My parents paid for them. I can take whoever the hell I want. But I want to take Tara. I don't know if I'm taking her because I feel obligated or if this is a last attempt to save our friendship before I move.
Which will be wonderful. I know you shouldn't run from your problems, but that is really the only solution to all my problems; running. I have screwed up my life here sooo bad. I can't wait to start over. New house, new town, new school, new people, new friends.
So, yeah. I know my friends don't read this.
But that's what's wrong; everything.
Fucking everything
-Lexi
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