FicWad

"Umm..." The silence hung heavy and thick. I had to say something, NOW, so I started talking before I really knew what to say. "Mikey, I, uh...we..."
"Pizza's in the kitchen," he interrupted coldly, before turning and walking back the way he'd come. I heard the front door click shut behind him just seconds later.
"Fuck's sake!" Gerard groaned, slumping back down beside me. "He likes, you, goddamn it!"
I was silent. I'd been thinking the exact same thing.
"I'm gonna go eat," he sighed, sitting up. "You hungry?"
I shrugged. "I'll come with you."
We took the pizza into the dining room, and sat at the table.
"You want?" he asked. I looked at the pizza and suddenly felt like throwing up.
"No thanks."
He looked at me warily. "Are you anorexic?"
I snorted. "Yeah, can't you tell? Actually, I puke it up." Fuck. I hadn't meant to sound so sarcastic.
Gerard just shrugged and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Just wondering," he said nonchalantly.
I moaned and lay my head down on the table. God, these boys were exhausting! I'd only just woken up, and already I felt like I could sleep for days.
"You look like you could use a coffee," Gerard said.
I lauged through my hair. "No shit, Sherlock."
"I'll make you some," he offered generously, and went to the kitchen to get it.
I lay on the table and thought about how fast things were moving. Just days ago he would barely speak to me (unless seriously fucked up), and now he was--what? Making me coffee. No biggie--for a normal person, that is. But Gerard was clearly anything but normal, and I got the feeling that this was a bigger deal that I understood.
I picked my head up off the table as he walked back in, and gazed lustfully at the steaming mug he held.
"Now," he said, sitting down, "I made you coffee, but you can't have it until you kiss me."
I looked at him for a few seconds. "Fuck no," I said evenly.
"Fine," he shrugged. He tilted his head back and took a long sip of the coffee.
"How can you be so cruel?" I asked him reproachfully. "I NEED caffeine, Gerard."
"Well it's yours for the taking," he said cockily. "The only one stopping you is you."
I glared at him sullenly.
"Your choice," he shrugged, before taking another gulp.
"That's just low," I informed him sardonically.
"Do I LOOK like I care?"
I had to smile at that--he looked anything BUT caring just then.
"Fine, I'll kiss you," I grumbled. "But give me the mug first."
"No way," he said, leaning back in his chair. "All or nothing, baby girl."
I grimaced at his choice of nickname, which was anything but endearing. "Okay, come here then," I said. He leaned forward, clearly enjoying every second of his domination, which I was determined to make short-lived. I hated him for making me like him, even while he was blackmailing me.
We kissed for awhile, deeper each time. As we kissed, I happened to look down at his hand. What I saw nearly made me choke: thin, angry red scars, obviously recent, criss-crossed the inside of his wrist. I jerked away form him for the second time that morning.
"What?" he asked, looking confused. He set the mug down on the table. "Verity, what is it?" Only then did he notice that I was still staring at his wrist.
"Fuck," he muttered, quickly crossing his arms so the scars were hidden from sight.
"Sorry," I said, looking down at my own hands. "It's none of my business."
He looked extremely shaken, scared almost, which was a sharp contrast to the confident Gerard who'd been sitting there just seconds before. I feld a wave of sadness. Why would he do something like that to himself? Unexpectedly, I felt tears sting my eyes.
"I...I do it all the time, Verity. I can't stop," he said. His voice sounded desperate. I almost wished he hadn't said anything, wished we could just stay in the comfort zone where we pretended like nothing had happened. But he trusted me enough to talk to me about it, which could only be a good thing.
"But do you...WANT to stop?" I asked haltingly. I still couldn't look at him--I was afraid I'd start crying, and that would just be ridiculous. I wasn't the one in pain here.
"I don't know," he said. "I just...I feel like..."--here his voice broke. "Like it's all I deserve." I couldn't stop myself then. I let the tears trickle from my eyes, and I could tell he was struggling too.
"It's not," was all I could manage to say. "It's not, Gerard." I held out my hand to him, and he grabbed it roughly with his. We just sat there for awhile, our breath wavering as we fought to control our emotions. Finally he spoke.
"Why are you acting like you care about me?" He didn't say it like an accusation, or even a question, really--he just stated it like it was a known fact. Like it was physically impossible for anyone to care about him.
"Because I do!" I said passionately. Not very powerful or moving words, but it was the e looked into my eyes for what seemed like hours. Finally his gaze dropped.
"You mean it, don't you?" he asked. His voice betrayed his raw emotion.
I only nodded.
"But why? And--how? You barely know me!"
I considered this. I desperately wanted to say the right thing, but I wasn't sure what that was.
"I...don't know," I said slowly. "But I want to get to know you better."
I instantly could have bashed myself for saying something so indescribably lame, but Gerard seemed happy with it. He leaned back in his chair again, still holing my hand, and we lapsed into silence once again. I wondered what he was thinking.
Just when I was beginning to think he'd completely forgotten about me, I heard the unapolagetic clatter of approaching footsteps. I looked at Gerard, but he just sat there, motionless. I didn't have time to think about what to say or do, because whoever it was was already in the kitchen.
"Mikey, are you here?" a strong voice called out. It belonged to a middle-aged man with greying brown hair, who was quite tall. "Oh, it's you. Hi, Gee."
"Hey, Don," Gerard mumbled. "How's it going?"
"Oh, fine," Don replied. Then he did a double-take as he caught sight of me. "Who's this?"
"Ummm..." Gerard paused. Who was I? I couldn't really be classified as a friend--or could I? "This is Verity," he said simply.
Don took the hint and didn't ask questions. "Well hi there, Verity," he said good-naturedly.
"Hi, Mr. Way. " I attempted to smile, but Gerard was still holding my hand, and this was getting considerably awkward.
"You're back early," Gerard observed."
"Yeah, I have to be at work early tomorrow, but Donna's still at her mother's place. " Aha. So I wouldn't be meeting Mrs. Way just yet.
Just then Mikey burst through the side door, looking just as dejected and angry as when he'd left. He stared at us all.
"Hey, Mikey," his daid grinned. "Whered'ja go?"
Mikey mumbled something unintelligible, cast one last glance at Gerard and I, and walked out of the room. Don looked thoroughly confused. Gerard finally let go of my hand.
"Um...I should be getting home. My mom will be worried." It was a lie if I'd ever told one--my mom probably wasn't even up yet--but these awkward silences were getting old quickly. I stood up. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Way.
"Oh, you too, Verity," Don smiled.
"I'll walk you home," Gerard said, standing beside me. He grabbed my hand again and led me out the side door, through a tiny, decrepit garden, and out onto the street.
"So, that's Mikey's dad, huh?" I mused. Gerard didn't reply. "Do you guys get along okay?"
"Most of the time," Gerard shrugged. "He hates it when I drink, though."
I could relate to that. My mom was the same, although she did her fair share of drinking.
"So...which way is your place?" Gerard asked as we came to a crossroads.
"Just there." I pointed the direction with my chin and we walked on in silence for a bit, content to be walking together on a windy autumn day.
As we reached the house, I cranned my neck to get a better view of the driveway. My mom's car wasn't there--she'd probably gone grocery shopping or something.
"Looks like my mom's not here," I laughed, slightly nervous. "You, uh...wanna come in for a bit?"
He wanted to. Really, it was obvious. But he shook his head regretfully.
"Nah, I should get back. I wanna, uh, talk to Mikey. You know, before he runs off again."
"Okay. Well I'll, uh, see you at school then?" I asked, slightly disappointed. He just shrugged and pulled at his hoodie. I moved closer, meaning to hug him or something, but he quickly pulled me into a kiss. It was just long enough to make me want more. Then he pushed his hair out of his eyes and smiled at me.
"See you," he said. I smiled too.
"Bye." But he just stood there looking at me. "Well are you gonna go?" I joked.
He nodded. "I just wanna make sure you get inside safely."
"Oh." I felt so stupid, but at the same time ridiculously happy. He wanted to make sure I was safe! "Well...thanks!"
"'S okay," he mumbled.
"So...see you, then," I said. He chuckled.
"Verity," he said condescendingly, "go inside."
"Oh," I laughed. I felt like even more of an idiot, if that were possible, but whatever. I was making him smile.
I walked up the pathway and unlocked the door, turning around once more before going inside. Gerard waved slowly and started back up the sreed. I stood in the doorway and giggled, feeling stupid and girly and nervous and happy all at once.
For the first time in my life, I couldn't wait for Monday.



A/N: Just so you know, I'm not sure if Donna is actually their mom's name, but a few stories have had that as her name, so there's a fairly good chance. And I saw a video when Gerard says it's his and Mikey's dad's birthday, and he gets the crowd to sing Happy Birthday, and he says his dad's name is Handsome Don. How cute. grins