FicWad

One Night
Lady Virgo

Wrapped up in the warm afterglow, they lay, intertwined, in the dark. The new moon shone its blackness on the village, stars the only illumination in the room. His sight had long since adjusted to the dark and the ceiling refocused behind the white speckles that had burst in his eyes only moments before.

He felt Kakashi purr against him, nuzzling against his collarbone with a sated, tired dab of his tongue, content to drape across the younger man's body in heat, sweat and sex.

Belatedly, Iruka lightly blew away feathery strands of silvered hair as it tickled his nose. There was no contentment for him tonight. His mind was plagued with questions- reoccurring since after the first week the two spent together -after Kakashi had stunningly whispered in his supposedly sleeping ear, 'ai shiteru'.

Why could he never see his face?

On occasions he actually gathered the courage to ask, but he was either distracted by Kakashi's sudden renewed vigor, had his question dodged by the other's skillful wordplay or ignored under the pretence of falling asleep.

But it bothered him again.

"Ne, Kakashi?" He said quietly, almost afraid to break the night's spell. Perhaps that's all it was, an illusion cast by the night, made real by his dreams. After all, he was always gone by morning and only came past midnight. What proof had he that their nights were real?

"Hm?"

"Are you awake."

"Awake enough." He replied, lifting his head up enough to bump his nose against Iruka's cheek. "Why?"

"Kakashi," the lesser ninja wrapped his arms a bit tighter around his lover, "why can't I see you?"

He could hear him smile. "Do you not see me enough in the village?"

Iruka frowned. "Not then."

"Can you not see me now?"

"You know what I mean." His voice was hushed and he ran fingertips daringly across Kakashi's eye, feeling the indentation of the scar. "Why won't you let me see your face?"

"Is that so important, Iruka?"

"It is to me." In his voice was defeat, but he couldn't help but to hope. "I want to see your face. I want to see you when I wake up in the mornings. I want to kiss you when I'm not blinded by night."

He grabbed the other's fingers, kissing them with thin lips. "I love you, Iruka, you know that, don't you?"

"Yes."

"You love me as well, right?"

"Yes."

He leaned forward to kiss his dry lips. "Then what does it matter?"

"Because..." he couldn't say. Because he wanted to. Because he wanted to see the beautiful face that haunted his dreams. Because it hurt whenever he couldn't. Because it hurt to wake up alone and think it was all a dream. "Because it feels that you don't trust me."

Kakashi's long body tensed above him. "Don't say such things." He said, voice slightly gruff and defensive.

He hadn't meant it, not really. But it hurt not being able to see. He wanted to let Kakashi know that it did.

"Let me see. Just once." He said. Once again his hand traced the scar, floating over the straight nose and open lips, trying to shape the face from touch. "If you're afraid because of your eye, because you think I might find you undesirable, I-"

"Don't." Kakashi growled around their kiss, using his body to push Iruka into the bed. "Not just yet."

Iruka could only whimper, holding the jounin closer to his body, moving in a pattern memorized already by the deepest fabric of his muscles. He kept his eyes open, trying to make something from the hints in the dark, trying to form the face from the shadows.

Was that all he was allowed to witness of this mysterious lover? The play of moonlight and stardust on his slick skin, the planes and wells of muscled back, teeth grazing the aching body below him, eased by the coolness of his tongue? Was his mind to play wild with the smallest of glimpses of sharp eyes and sweat dripped grins, watching his every move, every expression of someone that knew his innermost thoughts? When would he know the man he loved so deeply? When could he look upon his masked face and not wonder what lied beneath? When would he be able to wake in the early hours of dawn, arms wrapped around the lean body, watching as the morning rose across his uncovered face?

The room echoed the silenced cry as Iruka's arms stretched out, tense and stiff, before falling lax around the back of Kakashi's neck, whose head tucked against the shoulder of the younger man beneath him. The arms tightened slightly, strength temporarily gone. "Stay with me." He whispered. "Just for tonight. Just this once." But he knew the request would be ignored even before he drifted into sleep.

Kakashi laid against his lover, breathing slowing, listening to the other's heartbeat, trying to keep himself from being tangled in the weaves of their lullaby. He so desperately wanted to stay by Iruka's side, it was something he wanted more than anything in the world. But he had an obligation, he had things to be kept. Not secrets. Vanity, perhaps. Pride. He couldn't stay. Not now. He wasn't sure when.

"One night." He whispered to the sleeping man. "One night I will stay. I promise. And I'll stay every night after." He placed a soft kiss on his cheek. "Give me a little more time."

That one night would come.

Someday.



~~~*~

This was brought on by... um, I'm not too sure. I guess from flipping through some translations of the manga/side info and reading some fics and looking at some pretty KakaIru pictures. Or maybe I'm just odd and mean and angsty and romantic. Or I'm just weird with a big head. shrugs WTF, ya know? It's what it is and I like it. As bittersweet and strange as it may be.