FicWad

Hello pplz of the computer world. I tried my best at this fic. I think it's pretty good. The words that are in (brackets) are lyrics. I tried to get them all right but I think I messed up. Please tell me how little or how much you like it.

Song: Marilyn Manson-Coma Black



It's dark. Too dark. I try to breathe. I now realize that I can't. "So this is what death is like." I think to myself. Floating yet falling. Falling into the dark abyss which is my personal hell. Just few hours ago I was breathing, living, and 'happy' I remember...

(FLASHBACK)


The sun was blindingly bright and much too cheerful for a Gothic person, such as myself. I'm about 5'10', Black hair, Emo-glasses, a bit over-weight, with a bad attitude. Everyone at school is afraid of me except for one person. Daniel Mackenzie. My beautiful, Hot-Ass boyfriend. He's got long blond curly hair, deep ocean-blue eyes that could make anyone swoon and drool, A lovely smile with such soft and kissable lips, he's only a couple inches taller than me, he's totally perfect. We'd been going out for a little while. I smile to myself as I'm walking to my English class, just the thought of him makes me want to melt. I sit down in my approved seating choice. "Daniel." I giggle and smile to myself. I'm much too deeply in love. The lesson starts, but I pay no attention my thoughts are focused on the one I love and cherish.
"Cari!" I snap out of my trance.
"What did I just state?" Evil teacher.
"I wasn't listing." I say quietly.
"Pay more attention, you're already failing." She snaps as she waddles over to the chalkboard. Mrs. Gordon a nice, well-meaning teacher, that's quick to snap.
I slump down in my desk as my classmates snicker at me. Stupid people and there people-ness. The teacher speaks about pro-nouns and their place in the English language, how boring. There is a knock at the door no one hears it except me, it gets a little louder and Mrs. Gordon waddles over to answer it. You could hear them conversing in murmurs If you listened carefully.
"Cari."
I jump at the sound of my name.
"Someone wants to see you."
As I slowly rise from my comfortable position I could see that the someone was Daniel. A huge grin formed on my pale face, I lowered my head so no one could see.
"We need to talk." Daniel said as the teacher closed the door, to give us privacy.
"I care about you deeply but I'm not ready for a relationship."
My breathe stops and I clutch my hands to my sides.
"I should get going back to class. I hope we can stay close friends." He says as he speed walks back to class. "I can't believe it..." I whisper to myself as I step into English, bangs draped across my eyes so no one will see the tears that form in my eyes "...he doesn't care..."


(AT HOME)

I threw myself on my pillow sobbing, each tear holding a thousand wishes that he hadn't said those hurtful words. As my sobs turned into pitiful whimpers I turned on my CD player and hit play, a familiar song came on.
"Coma Black."

(My mouth was a crib and it was growing lies
I didn't know what love was on that day
My heart's a tiny blood clot
I picked at it
It never heals It never goes away)

"What did I do wrong? Why does he hate me? Why does it hurt so bad?"

(Burned all the good things in the Eden Eye
We were too dumb to run too dead to die
This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay
This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay)

"Angel... I'd kill myself anytime before I met you, Stupid Daniel!"

(I would have told her then
She was the only thing
That I could love in this dying world
But the simple word of "love" itself
Already died and went away)

"I would have told Him that He was the only thing that I could love... love..."

(This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay
This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay)

"Kill." I ran to the bathroom in search of any pills I could find. I'm glad my 'Mother' is heavily medicated. More pills less chance of survival.

(Burned all the good things in the Eden Eye
We were too dumb to run too dead to die
Burned all the good things in the Eden Eye
We were too dumb to run too dead to die)

"I tried this before I hope it works this time. Nobody loves me so nobody will care." I thought sadly as I grabbed all of my mother's pills, a bottle of random vodka, and a sheet of paper.

(This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay)

I messily scribbled a suicide note and taped it to my door.

(This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay)

I swallowed the remainder of the random pills and laid my head down.

(This was never my world
You took the angel away
I'd kill myself to make everybody pay)

"If only someone cared" I thought as I drifted off into a permanent sleep hands on my stomach.

(Her heart's a blood stained egg
We didn't handle with care
It's broken and bleeding
And we can never repair
Her heart's a blood stained egg
We didn't handle with care
It's broken and bleeding
And we can never repair
And we can never repair...)

(END FLASHBACK)

"I wish he loved me." The darkness that overwhelms my senses seems thicker and heavier. I try to breathe, I still can't.
"He doesn't know that I killed our child too... our... unborn... child..."


The ending was a bit hard to come up with but I think I did well. Most of this story is true I had a boyfriend and he broke up with me but I'm obiously not dead but I might be pregnat... life sucks.T_T