Categories > Celebrities > Aerosmith > Joe's Haircut

Joe's Haircut

by demonascreamin 1 review

My take on why Joe's hair is so short during their tour in '99-'00 speciffically the concert in Osaka,Japan oh this is supposed to be set in 2000 hence steven's first line and the irony. ps, this i...

Category: Aerosmith - Rating: PG - Genres: Drama, Humor, Parody - Published: 2007-05-30 - Updated: 2007-05-30 - 1258 words - Complete

"Dude, I'm serious, I'm gonna get a haircut," Joe said flatly.

"Yeah, and we'll have a successful blues record," Steven said rolling his eyes.

'Man Steven can be so UGH!' Joe thought turning away partly in frustration partly in disgust.
"How much you planning on getting off?"

It was a simple question, but Joe knew all too well that nothing was simple with Steven. Something as easy as mailing a letter could end up taking up the better part of the day with Steven around.

"Three Maybe four inches off, maybe not even that much," Joe said shrugging his shoulder before turning to face the frontman.

"That's it?"

"I said it was a haircut, not an up and giving charity event," Joe growled staring a hole into Steven with a flicker of his eyes.

Stepping back and feigning innoncence Steven replied "woah, I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought since it's not that much I could cut it and save you 10 bucks."

"Yeah 'cause I'm exactly the guy who can't afford to spend a measly 10 dollars," Joe retorted back at Steven's poor excuse for a cover up.

"You never know, you could need 10 dollars down the road, and you'll be short since you didn't take me up on my offer."

"Do you even know how to cut hair?"

"Yes, by the way you know I dye my own hair right?"

"I said cut not dye," Joe said crossing his arms as he waited for the answer.

"Yes," Steven answered back shifting into a stance of mock annoyance presented by the question.

The two voices in his head began to argue. There was a little voice pleaing 'don't do it Joe it'll end badly,' but there was an even louder voice yelling 'let the former drugie cut your hair!!!!'

"Fine then I guess you can cut my hair," Joe said relaxing and giving into the second voice.

"Ok, let's get started."


"Yeah sure now why not?"

"You sure you can do it?"

"Yeah I'm sure," he said ushering Joe to the porch while mumbling "How hard can it be?"
Pulling up a chair Steven pushed Joe down as he left to get the hair supplies. Returning with a brush, some hair sizzors, a mirror, shampoo, and a tub of warm water. Steven told Joe to relax while he began to shampoo his hair. Hesitantly leaning back the guitarist flinched upon feeling the warm water against the back of his neck.

Steven began shampooing Joe's hair which got him second guessing his decision.
"Are you sure you can do this?"

"Yes, now hold still I have to rinse," Steven said. "Do you want highlights or streaks?"
"My hair is black what highlights could you possibly use? Blonde? I don't think so," Joe responded from his chair.

"You could pull off blonde. You did in the 70's remember?"

"I was stoned out in those days so who knows how I got them."

"I did them" Steven said smiling down at Joe.

"You did?"

"Yeah you asked me to."

"Glad I'm sober" mumbled Joe.

Quirking an eyebrow and halting his shampoo covered hands Steven said "exactly what are you impling?"

Picking up on where this was heading Joe quickly retraced his steps and with the utmost faked sincerity replied "I simple meant I'm glad I'm sober so now I can tell you exactly what I want. I loved the 70's look, but it really is a new age you know?" 'God I hope that worked.'

"thought that's what you meant."

About five minutes later Steven grabbed a towel and dried Joe's hair a little before reaching for the brush and sizzors."four inches?"

Gulping the guitarist shook his shead yes. Everything was going good not too much was getting taken off. Then of course nothing went as planned when you hung around Steven. Joe was suddenly over come by a strong urge to sneeze. He tried to hold it in, but the urge proved far too powerful to ignore. Joe's head bobbed foward as his shoulders shook from the sneeze.

"Oh Fuck!!!" Steven shouted.

Joe froze on a dime. "What'd you do?" Fear rose in his voice once Steven didn't answer. "What'd you..."

"Me, you're the one that sneezed!"

"Just tell me what happened," Joe said evenly.

"I was getting the split ends and you sneezed and, um I sorta hacked your hair," he trailed off.

"How much," Joe said in a firm voice.

"including what I'd just cut..."

"How much," Anger rising in his voice as he repeated the question.

"10 inches," Steven said shrinking back.

Joe shot up "10 inches!!!!!"

"Don't freak out, look on the bright side, you can give it to cancer paitents at locks for love. By the way you can completely pull off short hair."

"Pull off short hair! You think that's all I care about. The thing is I trusted you and you screwed up my trademark hair!"

"I'm sorry," Steven said in a pleading tone.

"Yeah, well now you have to finish it," Joe said sitting back down. Arms crossed in front of his chest, he began tapping his foot in impaitientce.

Unsure of what to do Steve slowly reached for the sizzors to finish the job. His hands shook as he continued to cut Joe's hair. He felt bad, no worse than bad, the guy had just lost a key role in his image. He could have sworn he heard sniffling as the long locks fell around his lead guitarist. that pang of guilt hit futher into Steven. 'Of course he's sad you moron, how would you feel if your mic stand was sawed in half in front of you? Think!' Steven thought to himself.

"I'm sorry for flipping out, it wasn't you fault," said the lead guitarist picking his head up from his chest.

That's all Steven could stand, he broke down. Joe was apologizing for some thing he shouldn't be. This was ridiculous, it was like saying it's a dogs fault for barking at night.

"It's not you fault, I'm so sorry I ruined everything. You trusted me and I screwed that up!" the singer said turning in to a babling mess.

"Pull yourself together," Joe said comforting the singer." Are you done with my hair?" he asked gently.

"Yes" the singer said in an uncharacteristically quiet manner.

Reaching for a mirror Joe looked for the first time at his new hairdo."I love it," he said smiling.

The lead singer was over come by joy and threw his arms around Joe's neck saying " God I love you."

"I love you too, now come on we have a recording to got to," Joe said returning the embrace.

Outside the Studio...

"You sure you wanna go in, I could say your sick?"

"I'm sure Steven, besides I want to show off my new hair style," he said winking.

Blushing Steven led the way in. They hadn't taken more than two steps before Tom said "Dude what'd you do!"

What was he supposed to say 'Steven cut my hair you like it?' that would totally put Steven at the center of attention to be made fun of. So instead he said "you don't like it. I thought it was time for a change." Looking over to Steven he smiled asking "what do you think Steven?"

"I love it. You totally pull it off," he said smiling in return.

Joe smiled back, since it was their inside joke and no one would ever know what they meant.
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