FicWad

"Pick one!" I shouted, almost sobbing. "You can't be both, I want a mom!"
Her face looked about three sizes too big. Her eyes had lost all life.
"I want my mom!" I felt the tears run down my face. "I want my family back!"
A few of the housemates slowly ascended the steps, attracted by the noise. I wiped my tears away and continued.
"I want to know people want me here!" I coughed. "I want to know there's gonna be someone there to pick me up and take care of me when I'm sick."
Shane came up beside me and wrapped her arm around my shoulder. I felt like crying into her shoulder until no more teas came, but didn't want to show more weakness.
"Harper's right." Andy spoke up. "We all need someone to be our mom."
"I need someone that loves me." Pete stepped forward.
"I need someone to show me right from wrong." Joe stood beside Shane and gripped her free hand.
"I need someone to get me out of trouble if I ever get in it." Patrick came up beside me and rubbed my back.
"I need someone to make me feel better when I get sick." Andy stood beside Pete.
"And Harper needs a family." Shane said staring at all of them firmly. "Will you be that for us?"
David, Gabriel, and Diana looked at us and then at each other. Finally Gabriel stepped forward and smiled.
"Of course." She said. "We need all of you too."
We all felt stressed, tired, drained whatever you want to call it. I sighed and went to my room and lied down on the bed with my back to the door. Finally Gabriel came in and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"I'm glad you spoke up today." She whispered and rubbed my back. "It shows you're growing up."
"How can you say that, I threw a temper tantrum?" I sniffed and rolled over.
"At least you got out what was eating at you." She smiled warmly and smoothed back my hair. "You're a great person."
"No I'm not, I'm not great, I'm not awesome, and I'm not perfect."
"There's a big difference to being great and being perfect." Gabriel sighed and got up. "Maybe someday you'll know the difference."
With that she kissed my forehead and turned out the light. I lied in silence for awhile, trying to get my thoughts cleared and organized. So many things happened just today that it made me shudder to think what would happen tomorrow. Patrick liked me; I like Patrick, our 'family' was tearing apart at the seams.
Finally I fell asleep, but ended up waking up tired and in need of more sleep. Everyone looked like they hadn't slept at all that night. Shane's hair hung limp and lifeless in a mop on her head. Patrick's hat was lopsided. Pete's clothes didn't fit him right, which made me wonder where my pants went to, Andy's looked skinnier than ever and Joe's eyes were bloodshot and he kept blinking and looking around like he didn't know where he was.
"Alright, let's go!" David shouted, making me wince.
We all got in the van and headed for school, none of us looking forward to it at all. Shane fell asleep halfway there, I tapped her shoulder when we pulled up and got out.
Standing in the courtyard we all glanced at each other, pulling in deep breaths and letting them out after a while. I knew none of us were gonna say anything. Not after last night, we were all on edge and irritable.
The bell rang and we all went our separate ways, only me and Shane said goodbye. I slid into my seat after a while and looked around. Joe turned around and smiled.
"You're can speak your mind can't you?" He laughed.
"I have my moments." I nodded and glanced back at Patrick. "He really isn't that bad."
"Told ya." He smirked. "So you gave it some thought?"
I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, I gave it some thought."
"And?" He urged and leaned forward a little. "Are you gonna give Panda a run for his money?"
I paused and thought about that, I never was a calm one. I was a wild child, getting into tiffs about stupid things, fighting with Sam and anyone that got on my bad side. Now that I thought about it I wondered if we were almost supposed to fit together.
Finally I couldn't fight the urge to look back at him, writing or really scribbling in a notebook with shocking concentration. I bit back a smile and turned back around to look at Joe once more.
"He better be ready." I raised my eyebrows at him and smirked. "He doesn't know what he's getting himself into."
"Ooh, a threat." He chuckled. "I can't wait to see how this turns out."
The bell rang, signaling the end of homeroom I scooped up my books and rushed out of the room I didn't see where I was going and bumped right into Patrick. He let out an aggravated grunt then saw who bumped him and smiled at me.
I blushed and practically sprinted to my first class. Shane smirked at my winded expression as I sat down next to her. Her chipped black nail polish came off in flakes at she picked at them and glanced at me every once in a while as I told her everything.
"Anyway...how's Joe?" I questioned swallowing back my butterflies.
"Good." Her eyes gave off that something was bothering her, utter distraction and misery.
"What's wrong?" I asked in a soft, mothering voice as I touched her hand and squeezed her fingers together lightly. "What did he say?"
"It's not what he 'said', more like what he 'did' or wanted to do." She started, looking at her fingers as if they were more interesting than what she was about to say.
"What did he 'do'?" I bit my lip, dreading what was about to leave her mouth.
"He....he wants us to have sex." She blurted out loud enough for a few people around us to look up sharply.
"But!" My eyes got huge. "But, you're only been dating for two months!"
"I know." She sighed. "I told him I didn't think I was ready."
"But are you?" I cocked my head. "You know all the shit that could happen if you did 'the nasty'."
She only nodded and looked past me at Pete and Andy quietly talking across the room and glancing up at us every once in a while. Finally she decided to ignore them and went on talking.
"I don't know what to do." She blinked and picked up her pencil then started sketching on a piece of paper. "I mean, I think I love him but I don't know if I'm in love with him."
I nodded and tried to listen but couldn't connect with how she felt. I for one was never considered desirable or beautiful. That and the fact that I never really had a boyfriend hindered my empathy for the poor girl.
Finally class got started but I couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt on my part and on Shane's. I was her best friend and I couldn't relate to what she was going through. I really wished I could've felt that curiosity and nervousness that she felt, but I couldn't.
If only things worked out a little better in my mixed up life. With this added to the jumble I didn't know when I was gonna hit my breaking point.