Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > This Can't Be Good
KURAMA: My garments are finally here!
Yay! Put them on! Put them on!
KURAMA: I thought this was the laundress with my underwear that you stole.
It is! It is!
KURAMA: Even if I can't get a restraining order, I'm still not changing clothes anywhere within 400 yards of you.
But don't you need to wear something for your next episode?
KURAMA: Yes, but I'm wearing some n-
. . .
KURAMA: You didn't.
(Holds up red briefs with "Foxy-Boi" written on them)
KURAMA: You did!!
I can not help myself. The changing room is that way.
KURAMA: I hate you.
.
.
.
Hojo walked off, wiping absently at one eye, as three pairs of canine eyes followed his movements.
The thoughts took slightly longer:
Oh my GOD!
.
.
.
OH MY GOD!
.
.
.
Oh. My. God.
Kouga's eyes froze at twice their usual diameter. That tufty runt of a human was making some claim on Kagome? His Kagome?
The wolf prince scoffed, just a little too loudly. So the boy was offering her an empty human ceremony! So he was from her own strange homeland! So it turned out he was from a noble lineage!
How noble could his blood be, anyway? It wasn't as if Hojo was the beloved prince and warlord of an entire wolf tribe, now was it?
But then... Kouga's gaze slashed darkly toward the paralyzed half-demon on his left. /Even with no territory, no followers, no support from his clan... /Kouga's thoughts went cold as Inuyasha turned to meet the challenge in his eyes
When it came to nobility of blood, it was hard to top being the son of the Inu no Taisho.
"Oi! Who do you think you're growling at, wolf turd!"
"Who do you think I'm growling at, dog breath?"
The announcement was interrupted by a sound from the kitsune cub. The little kit was wriggled free of Inuyasha's grip, and was shaking with fear or anger. Kouga rolled his eyes. Kagome might be more intelligent than most of those useless youkai women, but when it came to that ugly scrap of a kitsune cub... Didn't she know that if she stopped feeding him, he'd go away?
"This is no time to get into one of your stupid fights!" squeaked Shippo, jumping up to bite Inuyasha on the wrist.
"Ow! Let go, you little-!"
Kouga allowed himself a smirk at the dog demon's struggles with Shippo's milk teeth. Finally, the cub dropped to the ground with a lumpier head and a few rather creative words from Inuyasha.
"Can't you two keep your minds on what's going on?" the kitsune demanded.
"Stupid runt!" Kouga shook his head. He looked back to Inuyasha. Yes, he'd been in the growling stage of working up another fight, and-
"Hojo's going to marry Kagome! If she marries him, she'll go back home with him and never come back!"
Oh! /Kouga froze. /...shit!
Something had to be done!
"Dog breath," he insisted, "we have to kill him!"
Inuyasha clapped one hand over his eyes, "Shut up, Kouga." Why was the stupid mutt-face balking at this? Didn't his inferior dog-faced brain not recognize the seriousness of the situation?
What if Hojo had already entered into negotiations with Kagome's tribe? The boy did have an uncanny ability to numb the wills of those who shared his dubious intellectual capacity. What if Hojo had turned his Flatural powers on the girl's family? What if her clan father had already agreed to the match?
"No, I mean it! I'll say I was with you; you'll say you were with me; she'll never know!!"
"Shut up, Kouga!"
.
.
.
"Owowowowowowow!!"
"Say it, wolf turd!"
"Let go, stupid dog-faced son of a-"
"Say it or I'll twist your arm off!"
"Dog breath, you are overlooking a /serious/-OWWWWW!!"
Sango levered her upper body up from the futon, wincing as her weight hit her injured arm. She leveled a disgusted glare at the open window. Somewhere on her left, Kagome murmured something and turned over. After a day of traveling, fighting and getting spit up on, was it too much to ask of two youkai to stop their excessively male squabbling and let a girl get a little sleep?
Grumbling something less than generous, Sango reached for her yukata. Slipping the garment around her shoulders, she tied a messy knot to keep it in place and marched purposefully toward the window.
On the ground below, Inuyasha had the wolf demon in a rather elaborate arm lock, his right foot jammed into the small of his back.
"Say it!"
/Say what? /wondered Sango.
"Never!"
Sango looked around for something to throw. Hiraikotsu? Too big for the window. Kagome's pack? Too valuable. Where were some useless rocks when she needed them?
Inuyasha twisted Kouga's arm another notch. The wolf demon gave out a high-pitched whine.
"I can go on like this all night, Kouga. Just say it!!"
"'I will not kill Hojo,'" the wolf demon recited in a snarl.
"On what?"
"'On my honor as Prince of the wolf tribe.' Are you happy now, Inu-koro?"
"Or else?"
There was an audible growl and Inuyasha gave the trapped wolf demon another wrench.
"'Or else I and my whole clan are a bunch of losers who smell like pig shit.' Now let go, you stupid mutt!"
Inuyasha released Kouga, who immediately turned and made a swipe at the dog demon. Inuyasha dodged easily and returned the blow. Sango shook her head.
At least everything was quiet now.
.
.
.
Miroku sighed, staring at his hands. The torches outside the inn just barely reached this far, and everything but the bare skin on his fingers seemed to sink away into the easy blackness. He'd come out here to settle his thoughts, but...
In one day, Kagura had lured them into two battles, Hojo had tried to kill Shippo, Inuyasha had found out and not shredded him, Kouga had shown up, they'd rescued a village child, and Hojo's talisman had released another mysterious blast of flame.
The monk pressed his mind into stillness and contemplated the day's greatest mystery...
So if Kagome has been scratching Inuyasha's ears, does that mean that the two of them are sharing more intimate company? I wonder if Sango's noticed any-
"Is... Is someone over here?"
Miroku closed his eyes and sighed again, glancing at the barely-touched jug of local alcohol. At least Hojo wasn't ruining a good time...
"It's Miroku," he called back. "What are you doing outdoors at this late hour?"
The boy walked toward him and Miroku blinked. It might have been a trick of the scant light, but his eyes looked red.
"Is everything well, Hojo?" he asked.
The boy sighed and sat down at the far end of the bench. "I don't really know..." the words escaped him like the last breath of air on a hot day. "I guess I just figured something out," he smiled dimly into nothing, "something I should have realized a long time ago." There was a long silence. The monk pondered and the boy stared into the black space. From somewhere back toward the inn, there was a sound that might have been a shout.
"So you came outside to clear your mind?" Miroku asked at last.
Hojo gave a short laugh, "That's one way to put it."
Miroku nodded, "My master, Mushin, used to linger outside at night when he needed to think. I suppose that's where I picked up the trait."
"That's nice," Hojo pulled in a breath. "Not exactly what I meant, though."
Huh?
The boy pointed to the barely-touched jug of village brew still sitting on the bench. "Could I get drunk on that?" he asked.
"Well..." Miroku blinked at the jug, "Theoretically..."
"Close enough," Hojo yanked out the stopper and took a gulp.
The monk's eyes went big. Where had Hojo learned to stomach something as strong as this local foulness? Maybe there was more to the boy than met the-
Hojo doubled over, choking as one hand went to his throat.
Maybe not.
"Oh god!" Hojo gasped.
"Easy there..." Miroku put a hand on the boy's back.
"Does beer always taste like that?" Hojo asked in a cracking voice.
"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that was beer at all."
The boy looked at him helplessly and finally managed to sit up. "Miroku," he said. "I think I should ask you about something."
"Go ahead," he offered.
"Well, if a guy has a plan, and it doesn't work out, should he keep trying or just give up and look for something else to do with his life?"
This night was full of surprises. "That's a very... intelligent question," he remarked.
"But can you answer it?" Something in Hojo's eyes was very deep.
The monk took a breath, looking away. "I think my master spoke with me about something like that once, a few years ago..." the memory rose and he saw himself, a half-grown man with a half-grown hole in his hand, "about whether I should ... about whether an aspiration of mine was truly hopeless, and whether I would be better off dedicating my time to the pursuit of enlightenment alone."
"What did he say?" Hojo asked.
"He told me to make my most of my time in this world," the beads on Miroku's right hand clicked as his palm flexed, "and to abandon my quest."
Hojo opened his mouth to answer, but Miroku went on, actually finding it easy to smile. "I have tried to follow my learned master's advice, and waste not a minute of my life," he told the boy, "but as you can see, I am here with Inuyasha and Kagome, and not in a monastery seeking wisdom."
"So you didn't give up on your dream," Hojo's eyes drifted back toward the inn.
The monk shook his head. "Though some days, I think that I will never achieve it before-" Miroku stopped himself. Some things were not for Hojo to know.
"But what if your dream wasn't some fancy quest," Hojo turned back to ask. "What if it was something you needed? Something you- Something you couldn't live without? Something you'd just die if you couldn't get?"
The monk lowered his head just barely, "In that case," he told Hojo, "I would say that-"
"Miroku! Miroku!"
He looked down to see a familiar tiny hand tugging at his robe.
"Miroku, I need to talk to you!" Shippo's face was tight and terrified. The young kitsune's eyes fell on Hojo and he tugged harder. "Without him around!"
Reality came crashing back like a thousand daybreak hangovers.
He had been sitting beside Hojo, speaking to him as if - hell! Miroku had been thinking of Hojo as an innocent in need of instruction.
How did I let it slip my mind for even a moment that Hojo tried to kill Shippo out of some ignorant fear? /Miroku berated himself. /But then, would it have amended his ignorance if I'd refused him my counsel? He won't stay alive without someone to help him...
Another level broke, and Miroku asked himself. Why am I helping this person stay alive at all? /The monk stared at Hojo's wide and empty face, /After what he did, why can't I hate him properly?
Miroku's gaze fell down to the jug still resting on the table where Hojo had dropped it.
I have GOT to go somewhere with decent beer... This foul brew is making me think too hard.
"Miroku!" Shippo was insisting again.
"Hojo," the monk's voice took on a necessary coldness, and he gestured from the boy to the kit and back. "Do you remember what we talked about earlier tonight?"
"Miroku, I /really /need to talk to you! It's an emergency!" the kitsune moved as if to point at Hojo, but stopped.
"I-" Hojo gulped. "I remember, Miroku." He pulled in a breath. "I was being silly to be afraid, wasn't I?"
Something in Miroku felt relieved. Hojo would mend his ways toward Shippo. There would be no need to inform Kagome of what had happened, and all would be well in time.
"Miroku," Shippo waved his arms, near tears. "We have a big problem!"
"Yes," Hojo said more confidently. "I was a real idiot," he smiled and reached down to ruffle Shippo's hair. "You're not so bad, are you, little guy?"
To Miroku's uncomprehending dismay, Shippo's little fists balled up and a gravely growl boiled up from his throat.
"Huh?" murmured Hojo.
"I hate you!!" the little kitsune seethed, and clamped his teeth down on Hojo's hand.
"YEEEEEEOOOW!!"
.
.
.
KURAMA: You fool! I am allergic to fabric softener!
I told you I used fabric softener!
KURAMA: No you did not!
Yes I did!
KURAMA: When?
Chapter 29!
Yay! Put them on! Put them on!
KURAMA: I thought this was the laundress with my underwear that you stole.
It is! It is!
KURAMA: Even if I can't get a restraining order, I'm still not changing clothes anywhere within 400 yards of you.
But don't you need to wear something for your next episode?
KURAMA: Yes, but I'm wearing some n-
. . .
KURAMA: You didn't.
(Holds up red briefs with "Foxy-Boi" written on them)
KURAMA: You did!!
I can not help myself. The changing room is that way.
KURAMA: I hate you.
.
.
.
Hojo walked off, wiping absently at one eye, as three pairs of canine eyes followed his movements.
The thoughts took slightly longer:
Oh my GOD!
.
.
.
OH MY GOD!
.
.
.
Oh. My. God.
Kouga's eyes froze at twice their usual diameter. That tufty runt of a human was making some claim on Kagome? His Kagome?
The wolf prince scoffed, just a little too loudly. So the boy was offering her an empty human ceremony! So he was from her own strange homeland! So it turned out he was from a noble lineage!
How noble could his blood be, anyway? It wasn't as if Hojo was the beloved prince and warlord of an entire wolf tribe, now was it?
But then... Kouga's gaze slashed darkly toward the paralyzed half-demon on his left. /Even with no territory, no followers, no support from his clan... /Kouga's thoughts went cold as Inuyasha turned to meet the challenge in his eyes
When it came to nobility of blood, it was hard to top being the son of the Inu no Taisho.
"Oi! Who do you think you're growling at, wolf turd!"
"Who do you think I'm growling at, dog breath?"
The announcement was interrupted by a sound from the kitsune cub. The little kit was wriggled free of Inuyasha's grip, and was shaking with fear or anger. Kouga rolled his eyes. Kagome might be more intelligent than most of those useless youkai women, but when it came to that ugly scrap of a kitsune cub... Didn't she know that if she stopped feeding him, he'd go away?
"This is no time to get into one of your stupid fights!" squeaked Shippo, jumping up to bite Inuyasha on the wrist.
"Ow! Let go, you little-!"
Kouga allowed himself a smirk at the dog demon's struggles with Shippo's milk teeth. Finally, the cub dropped to the ground with a lumpier head and a few rather creative words from Inuyasha.
"Can't you two keep your minds on what's going on?" the kitsune demanded.
"Stupid runt!" Kouga shook his head. He looked back to Inuyasha. Yes, he'd been in the growling stage of working up another fight, and-
"Hojo's going to marry Kagome! If she marries him, she'll go back home with him and never come back!"
Oh! /Kouga froze. /...shit!
Something had to be done!
"Dog breath," he insisted, "we have to kill him!"
Inuyasha clapped one hand over his eyes, "Shut up, Kouga." Why was the stupid mutt-face balking at this? Didn't his inferior dog-faced brain not recognize the seriousness of the situation?
What if Hojo had already entered into negotiations with Kagome's tribe? The boy did have an uncanny ability to numb the wills of those who shared his dubious intellectual capacity. What if Hojo had turned his Flatural powers on the girl's family? What if her clan father had already agreed to the match?
"No, I mean it! I'll say I was with you; you'll say you were with me; she'll never know!!"
"Shut up, Kouga!"
.
.
.
"Owowowowowowow!!"
"Say it, wolf turd!"
"Let go, stupid dog-faced son of a-"
"Say it or I'll twist your arm off!"
"Dog breath, you are overlooking a /serious/-OWWWWW!!"
Sango levered her upper body up from the futon, wincing as her weight hit her injured arm. She leveled a disgusted glare at the open window. Somewhere on her left, Kagome murmured something and turned over. After a day of traveling, fighting and getting spit up on, was it too much to ask of two youkai to stop their excessively male squabbling and let a girl get a little sleep?
Grumbling something less than generous, Sango reached for her yukata. Slipping the garment around her shoulders, she tied a messy knot to keep it in place and marched purposefully toward the window.
On the ground below, Inuyasha had the wolf demon in a rather elaborate arm lock, his right foot jammed into the small of his back.
"Say it!"
/Say what? /wondered Sango.
"Never!"
Sango looked around for something to throw. Hiraikotsu? Too big for the window. Kagome's pack? Too valuable. Where were some useless rocks when she needed them?
Inuyasha twisted Kouga's arm another notch. The wolf demon gave out a high-pitched whine.
"I can go on like this all night, Kouga. Just say it!!"
"'I will not kill Hojo,'" the wolf demon recited in a snarl.
"On what?"
"'On my honor as Prince of the wolf tribe.' Are you happy now, Inu-koro?"
"Or else?"
There was an audible growl and Inuyasha gave the trapped wolf demon another wrench.
"'Or else I and my whole clan are a bunch of losers who smell like pig shit.' Now let go, you stupid mutt!"
Inuyasha released Kouga, who immediately turned and made a swipe at the dog demon. Inuyasha dodged easily and returned the blow. Sango shook her head.
At least everything was quiet now.
.
.
.
Miroku sighed, staring at his hands. The torches outside the inn just barely reached this far, and everything but the bare skin on his fingers seemed to sink away into the easy blackness. He'd come out here to settle his thoughts, but...
In one day, Kagura had lured them into two battles, Hojo had tried to kill Shippo, Inuyasha had found out and not shredded him, Kouga had shown up, they'd rescued a village child, and Hojo's talisman had released another mysterious blast of flame.
The monk pressed his mind into stillness and contemplated the day's greatest mystery...
So if Kagome has been scratching Inuyasha's ears, does that mean that the two of them are sharing more intimate company? I wonder if Sango's noticed any-
"Is... Is someone over here?"
Miroku closed his eyes and sighed again, glancing at the barely-touched jug of local alcohol. At least Hojo wasn't ruining a good time...
"It's Miroku," he called back. "What are you doing outdoors at this late hour?"
The boy walked toward him and Miroku blinked. It might have been a trick of the scant light, but his eyes looked red.
"Is everything well, Hojo?" he asked.
The boy sighed and sat down at the far end of the bench. "I don't really know..." the words escaped him like the last breath of air on a hot day. "I guess I just figured something out," he smiled dimly into nothing, "something I should have realized a long time ago." There was a long silence. The monk pondered and the boy stared into the black space. From somewhere back toward the inn, there was a sound that might have been a shout.
"So you came outside to clear your mind?" Miroku asked at last.
Hojo gave a short laugh, "That's one way to put it."
Miroku nodded, "My master, Mushin, used to linger outside at night when he needed to think. I suppose that's where I picked up the trait."
"That's nice," Hojo pulled in a breath. "Not exactly what I meant, though."
Huh?
The boy pointed to the barely-touched jug of village brew still sitting on the bench. "Could I get drunk on that?" he asked.
"Well..." Miroku blinked at the jug, "Theoretically..."
"Close enough," Hojo yanked out the stopper and took a gulp.
The monk's eyes went big. Where had Hojo learned to stomach something as strong as this local foulness? Maybe there was more to the boy than met the-
Hojo doubled over, choking as one hand went to his throat.
Maybe not.
"Oh god!" Hojo gasped.
"Easy there..." Miroku put a hand on the boy's back.
"Does beer always taste like that?" Hojo asked in a cracking voice.
"To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that was beer at all."
The boy looked at him helplessly and finally managed to sit up. "Miroku," he said. "I think I should ask you about something."
"Go ahead," he offered.
"Well, if a guy has a plan, and it doesn't work out, should he keep trying or just give up and look for something else to do with his life?"
This night was full of surprises. "That's a very... intelligent question," he remarked.
"But can you answer it?" Something in Hojo's eyes was very deep.
The monk took a breath, looking away. "I think my master spoke with me about something like that once, a few years ago..." the memory rose and he saw himself, a half-grown man with a half-grown hole in his hand, "about whether I should ... about whether an aspiration of mine was truly hopeless, and whether I would be better off dedicating my time to the pursuit of enlightenment alone."
"What did he say?" Hojo asked.
"He told me to make my most of my time in this world," the beads on Miroku's right hand clicked as his palm flexed, "and to abandon my quest."
Hojo opened his mouth to answer, but Miroku went on, actually finding it easy to smile. "I have tried to follow my learned master's advice, and waste not a minute of my life," he told the boy, "but as you can see, I am here with Inuyasha and Kagome, and not in a monastery seeking wisdom."
"So you didn't give up on your dream," Hojo's eyes drifted back toward the inn.
The monk shook his head. "Though some days, I think that I will never achieve it before-" Miroku stopped himself. Some things were not for Hojo to know.
"But what if your dream wasn't some fancy quest," Hojo turned back to ask. "What if it was something you needed? Something you- Something you couldn't live without? Something you'd just die if you couldn't get?"
The monk lowered his head just barely, "In that case," he told Hojo, "I would say that-"
"Miroku! Miroku!"
He looked down to see a familiar tiny hand tugging at his robe.
"Miroku, I need to talk to you!" Shippo's face was tight and terrified. The young kitsune's eyes fell on Hojo and he tugged harder. "Without him around!"
Reality came crashing back like a thousand daybreak hangovers.
He had been sitting beside Hojo, speaking to him as if - hell! Miroku had been thinking of Hojo as an innocent in need of instruction.
How did I let it slip my mind for even a moment that Hojo tried to kill Shippo out of some ignorant fear? /Miroku berated himself. /But then, would it have amended his ignorance if I'd refused him my counsel? He won't stay alive without someone to help him...
Another level broke, and Miroku asked himself. Why am I helping this person stay alive at all? /The monk stared at Hojo's wide and empty face, /After what he did, why can't I hate him properly?
Miroku's gaze fell down to the jug still resting on the table where Hojo had dropped it.
I have GOT to go somewhere with decent beer... This foul brew is making me think too hard.
"Miroku!" Shippo was insisting again.
"Hojo," the monk's voice took on a necessary coldness, and he gestured from the boy to the kit and back. "Do you remember what we talked about earlier tonight?"
"Miroku, I /really /need to talk to you! It's an emergency!" the kitsune moved as if to point at Hojo, but stopped.
"I-" Hojo gulped. "I remember, Miroku." He pulled in a breath. "I was being silly to be afraid, wasn't I?"
Something in Miroku felt relieved. Hojo would mend his ways toward Shippo. There would be no need to inform Kagome of what had happened, and all would be well in time.
"Miroku," Shippo waved his arms, near tears. "We have a big problem!"
"Yes," Hojo said more confidently. "I was a real idiot," he smiled and reached down to ruffle Shippo's hair. "You're not so bad, are you, little guy?"
To Miroku's uncomprehending dismay, Shippo's little fists balled up and a gravely growl boiled up from his throat.
"Huh?" murmured Hojo.
"I hate you!!" the little kitsune seethed, and clamped his teeth down on Hojo's hand.
"YEEEEEEOOOW!!"
.
.
.
KURAMA: You fool! I am allergic to fabric softener!
I told you I used fabric softener!
KURAMA: No you did not!
Yes I did!
KURAMA: When?
Chapter 29!
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