Categories > Anime/Manga > Inuyasha > This Can't Be Good

(41) There Are No Stupid Questions, Only Stupid People

by Ithilwen 0 reviews

"Now are you going to sulk there all night or are you going to let me get some sleep?" "I'm going to sulk here all night," he told her.

Category: Inuyasha - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Action/Adventure, Humor, Romance - Characters: Other - Published: 2005-11-23 - Updated: 2005-11-23 - 2009 words

(bows to dani)

If you do not like it here, why do you keep coming back?

KURAMA: I want you to come somewhere with me.

Like a date?

KURAMA: . . .

. . ?



The monk and the others had returned to camp to find Inuyasha still dumbfounded by Hojo's unexpectedly competent response to Kouga's tricks. Once they'd managed to get the story out of him - with Kouga carefully out of earshot - Miroku had to admit that...

...that he wasn't nearly as surprised as he should have been.

When I found him in the woods with Rin, it took very little explanation before he developed a plan that brought him through the encounter alive.

The boy was actually learning. Miroku could admit to himself that not every part of himself was happy about it, but there it was.

Learning meant adapting, and adapting meant staying, and staying meant-

Sango suddenly laughed out loud. Miroku looked toward the fire. There was Hojo, Kirara lying tummy-up in his lap as those uncallused fingers obscenely rubbed her pale fur. Why wasn't she biting him? Kirara didn't let men rub her soft belly. She wasn't that kind of girl! She was supposed to yell "PERVERT" and give him a good slap in the-

Miroku shook his head. He'd come out here to regain his focus, and it did not seem to be working.

Inuyasha was hunched down by the flames, scowling steadily at Kouga. The monk pressed his lips together. Kouga had at first denied that he had ever wished Hojo harm, but that hadn't lasted. The wolf prince might not have had Miroku's finesse, but he knew when his scam was up.

Kouga had been contrite. Too contrite, gallantly asking Kagome for her forgiveness and - at her insistence - making a grandiose apology to Hojo once they returned to camp. The whole thing had been completely staged and badly acted, but it had satisfied Kagome and Sango. Inuyasha, however, had been furious to find that the wolf demon had gotten off so lightly. He'd planted himself firmly between Kouga and Kagome and hadn't budged all night.

I wonder how he will manage to sleep with Kouga sharing our camp. His thoughts quickly turned into a chuckle as he answered his own question. Sleep? Damn but Inuyasha was going to be difficult to live with for the next few days.

Miroku closed his eyes and returned to his meditation, using some of Mushin's less interesting lessons .

Time passed.

He felt the breath flow in and out of his body.

Time passed.

He felt the bitter tightness seep out of his muscles.

Time passed.

He felt the soot clouds move slowly away from his thoughts and the resentment from his heart.


"Hey, Miroku!"

Never mind. They were back in. Oh look: They'd brought friends.

"Oh. Hello Hojo." Miroku opened his eyes.

"Look..." the boy stared at his feet for a moment. "I'm sorry to interrupt-"

"Oh, think nothing of it."

"-but I wanted to ask you a question."

Miroku frowned. For some reason, he wasn't as offended as he should have been. The monk filed the feeling away. He would have time to examine it later.
"Go ahead," he told the boy. Miroku leaned back into a more conversational sitting position.

"It's about that girl," Hojo's expression was a tiny bit apologetic, but very earnest.

The monk shook his head in honest confusion, squinting back at the two lovely silhouettes by the flames, "What girl?" he asked.

"The one from last night," Hojo explained.

"Ah," Miroku nodded his head, understanding.

"There are many dangers in this world, Miroku," one of Mushin's more sober lessons had gone. "Once a man has seen death, he may look to the spirits or to Buddha to make sense of it, and to his followers for wisdom and meaning."

"You have a lot to think about," Miroku set his jaw thoughtfully. His lessons suggested that he say something about life, death and eternity at this point, but... His curiosity got the better of him. "Tell me though," he asked, "of all the things that have nearly killed you since you got here, why ask about Kagura? I would have thought Kouga or Inuyasha. Now that I remember, I was pretty mad at you too for a while-"

"Kagura?" Hojo blinked, confused.

"The woman from last night," the monk repeated. "She... nearly killed you with some invisible wind blades and reanimated serpent demons? Surely you remember."

"Oh, her," Hojo shrugged. "I meant the other girl from last night."

Miroku blinked again. There had been plenty of young women at that impromptu festival, but they'd all seemed to like the boy.

"Of course, death is not the only thing that people will ask you about."

Then again, the feast had been thrown in Hojo's honor. Perhaps he was seeking insight into a near-death experience of another kind...

"You know," the boy continued, breaking Miroku's reverie, "that girl from last night. Miss Kikyo."


Now he knew why humans liked walls.

Even this morning it still hadn't made sense. Sure, they kept the heat in - sort of - and kept the bugs out - sometimes - but most of the time those stupid little partitions didn't do anything but block out the air. What was it about them that made humans feel so deceptively safe?

But any minute now Kagome was going to yawn, showing every one of those pretty little teeth, and say it was time for bed. For some reason, the idea of Kagome falling asleep within ten miles of the flea-flecked wolf demon had bothered him a hell of a lot less when there had been an inch and a half of wood between them. Inuyasha shook his head. When he'd started hanging out with humans, he hadn't thought that he'd catch any of this stupid crap.

Kouga had gone off somewhere, probably to ask Miroku if he'd brought the rest of that stenchy lighter fluid from the village. Sango was propped up against a fully-formed Kirara while Shippo dozed by what was left of the fire.

Inuyasha's eyes snapped up as Kagome yawned, showing every one of her pretty back teeth. "Time for bed..." she muttered, sliding over to her backpack and unhooking that fluffy bedroll. She brought the back of her wrist to her mouth and yawned again. Inuyasha rose to his feet, quietly stepping into place as she steadied the bottom edge of the bedroll with her knees and started to unroll the smooth nylon.

...straight onto his feet.

Kagome shifted her legs into a kneeling position and looked up. "Inuyasha?" she asked. "I'm trying to get ready for bed."

The dog demon folded his arms. "What are you going to do to Kouga?"

She shrugged. "He tried to hurt Hojo so he has to sleep in the woods by himself tonight." She blinked her hooded eyes. "If you ask me, it was very grown-up of him to admit that he was wrong."

"That's because he sleeps by himself in the woods all the time!" Inuyasha shook his head. "Scavengers aren't going to go after him and the smell takes care of the mosquitoes."

"I know..." she yawned again. "But Kouga wouldn't really have let Hojo get himself killed with those moves, so it's no big-"

He dropped down to his haunches, putting his bright, angry eyes half an inch from her tired ones. "What's it going to take," he bit out the whisper, "for you to realize that Kouga's not some ...some cute little puppy for you to play with?"

Kagome's eyes went a little bigger. She covered her mouth with one hand as her upper body began to shake. Inuyasha cringed, "Dammit!" He held out both hands. "That's nothing to cry about! All I said was-"

The girl let out a snort.


Her breath hitched and she started to giggle.

"Dammit!" he fumed. "I'm serious!"

"I'm sorry," Kagome quieted down. ...for about two seconds. "It's just..." she pressed both hands over her mouth to hold the sound in.

He growled under his breath. What the hell is she laughing about? I just said that...

Inuyasha had a sudden mental image of Kouga's head on a fluffy little Shippo body.

"I just pictured Kouga as a-" Her mouth puckered as she held her hands about a foot apart. "-as a little dog, you know, the little yappy kind?" her breath broke into giggles.

He held onto his scowl with an iron grip.

"Going 'arf! arf!'" Kagome tipped her head back, laughing without ever opening her mouth.

Stupid girl, Inuyasha growled softly. Making him think she was upset when all it took to make her laugh was yappy little Kouga chasing his tail in circles.

Yappy little Kouga barking at all the bigger dogs.

Yappy little Kouga getting punted into the stratosphere by Inuyasha.

The scowl held, but his chest shook, and Kagome didn't miss it.

"See what I mean?" she asked.

Inuyasha tried to hold it in but it wasn't working. Floofie Kouga doing tricks! Fluffy Kouga rolling over and-

Kagome was still holding a hand over her mouth as she fought down the giggles. Inuyasha wasn't having anywhere near that much trouble. Had she laughed at him this way when he wasn't looking? Did she picture him as a harmless, helpless, subservient animal that was good for a laugh and nothing else? Did yappy little Inuyasha roll tummy-up and whine in her daydreams?

She pulled in a deep breath and went back to tugging at her blankets. "Now are you going to sulk there all night or are you going to let me get some sleep?"

"I'm going to sulk here all night," he told her.

Her head snapped up, "What?"

Inuyasha folded his arms, feeling his smirk twitch back to life. "What?" he asked. "You didn't tell Kouga to take a hike. You obviously don't have enough sense to take care of yourself, so I have to do it for you." The dog demon allowed his smirk to widen. Miroku wasn't the only one who could be sneaky. He watched Kagome's face turn pinker and pinker in the dim light. Inuyasha might not have been as well-educated as the monk in certain matters, but he knew why Kagome's handprint so often marred his boyish good looks.

Kagome would pack Kouga's bags herself before she'd do anything so Miroku as sleep at his feet.

"So you..." her voice dropped to a whisper. "You're saying you wanna sleep down here?"

"Yes!" he snapped back, folding his arms. "But who said anything about sleeping?"

"But won't you get tired?"

"Keh! It takes more than that to wear me out."

Heh heh. Any second now she would turn bright pink and tell him that no way was she going to sleep right next to his worthless ass, and he would carefully point out that as soon as Kouga was well and truly on his way, he would be happy to sleep up in his tree like usual, and then she would-

"Okay," she said, getting to her feet.

"Finally!" he exhaled, and then, frowning. "Kagome? Didn't he go that way?"

The girl shook head. "No, he's right here," she told him as she bent down to pick up the half-conscious kitsune cub. The kit mumbled something into her arm as she carried him over, nudged the bedroll open with her shoe and put him down on the foot of the the soft nylon.

"Uh, Kagome?" Inuyasha frowned as she plunked her pillow down on top of his feet.

"Try not to move too much, okay?" she asked. "Good night, Inuyasha," she said as she slipped off her shoes and fisted another yawn. The human girl slid into the sleeping bag with a light rasp, Shippo settling perfectly against her knees.

In the woods, crickets chirped.

Inuyasha blinked.




BOB: My name is Bob and I'm a kleptomaniac.


KURAMA: Now you go.

I am Ithilwen's narrator alter-ego. Here are your shorts back, Bob.

BOB: Thanks.

KURAMA: I'm not with her.
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