Categories > Theatre > Rent > Songbook of Roger Davis
Beyond the Lights
Seemingly hours later bleary eyed; Roger leaned up on his elbows and looked around. He was positioned on a horribly lumpy couch with a ragged but, slightly warm wool blanket wrapped around him. He quickly scanned the room searching for Mark. He was sitting near by with a bowl of what looked to Roger like dry cereal.
"Hey...:"
He was surprised at the hoarseness of his voice. He stared at Mark waiting for him to speak. His silence so far was unnerving. He couldn't stand to have those huge green eyes just staring at him with such compassion and concern.
'Say something...ANYTIHNG!'
"Hey."
That was all Mark said before he set the cereal down, walked over and felt Roger's head. Getting a good look at Mark he'd noticed how pale and thin he'd become since they'd last seen each other.
"How're you feeling?"
Sitting up all the way, Roger just shrugged and managed to choke out barely above a whisper:
"I've been better.."
'Well it looks like I've mastered the art of understating something. Why cant I just tell him...?'
"Obviously"
Mark adjusted his pillow and started to bombard him with question after question.
"Are you warm enough? Hungry; thirsty? What are you doing in New York, anyway?"
"Some people never change. That's one thing about Mark I hope never does...how much he cares. "
Roger looked at Mark for a moment and managed a small weak grin and shook his shaggy head lightly.
"I'm Fine. No I'm not hungry, yes I'd like something to drink... I'm...Visiting."
He hesitated to tell Mark why he was really here. He'd been kicked out of College last week, despite his mediocre attempts he hadn't brought his grades up at all. He thought about this a lot the few weeks it took him to get here....
Three days Previously
Roger stood on the side of the road, his thumb jerked out and his few bags on the soggy ground next to him. A red pickup stopped and the driver leaned his head out the window.
"Where you going kid?"
He grimaced at being called a kid, but he shook it off and yelled out "New York City, can I get a lift..?"
The man nodded and unlocked the passenger side as Roger made his way around traffic and the rusty truck. As he climbed in he was ignorant of the drivers conversation until he felt a light tap on his shoulder.
"Hey, Whadda running from...?"
"Nothing. I'm going home..."
Roger was snapped back into reality when Mark returned from the kitchen with a glass of water. His eyes where doubtful to the story but still trusting.
"Visiting in the middle of semester?"
Roger knew there was no escape. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
"I...dropped out."
"That'll do for now...hopefully its enough"
He sipped at the water waiting for his reaction...he waited and waited. He was watching Marks face for a sign of...anything.
Marks face was pensive, thinking about Roger's admission of "dropping out". For a second Roger though he wouldn't buy the story. He couldn't tell him...not yet. He quickly finished off the water holding the empty glass in his hands.
"Why? And what happened to you anyway, you look..."
Mark trailed off and let it hang in the air.
"If you only knew Mark..."
Not making eye contact he stared at the bowl of cereal on the table and tried to think of a decent response between the sips of water.
"I...it got too hard...nothing, nothing happened. I'm just a little sick, I know I look terrible."
"Terrible's not the word--D'you need more water maybe I should call for a doctor"
Mark stood and started to take the glass but, his hand kept a firm grasp on it, and Roger shook his head harder than he meant to. Dizzy, he laid back down setting the glass on the table next to the bowl before he dropped it.
"No...I just need to rest. I'll be fine in a few days."
Still sitting on the Coffee table Mark stared at Roger. He obviously didn't buy that. Roger shivered slightly and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself.
'Please Mark...help...please'
"You're sure?"
Roger nodded and gave his best attempt at his usual grin, but he felt it probably just made him look worse.
"Help me Mark...help...please"
His mind cried out the same way it had for the last few weeks, desperate and pleading. He ignored the mental protests and settled into the pillow in an attempt to get more comfortable. His thoughts just kept screaming in his head and he clenched his eyes shut and unknowingly yelled out.
"NO!"
Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, he instinctively stiffened at the touch and tried to back away. But the arms didn't leave, he breathed deeply and realized it was Mark and his hug was comforting, welcomed.
'What the hell is wrong with me...? He's my friend...he'd understand....'
"You're sure your all right..?"
Roger's breath was ragged and unsteady as he shook his head from side to side. His eyes felt so heavy; like they were made of lead. He drifted slightly as he leaned in the back of the couch and tilted his head to the side.
"No...No...I'm fine"
Roger felt Mark get up off the couch he didn't bother turning, Roger knew he was at the phone.
"You are not...get some rest-please-I'm going to call for someone to have a look at you "
He remained sitting on the couch in what was now becoming a very uncomfortable position; he heard the phone pickup and dial a number and low talking for a few minutes then he hung up and came back over. Roger didn't have the strength or heart to argue with him right now . He let Mark lay him back on the couch Roger turned to face him as he sat back on the table.
"I...No. Never mind."
"Almost did it that time. So close, but not close enough"
"Rogge, if there's anything you want to say..."
Roger just looked at Mark as he straightened out the blanket and settled it over him again.
"You know I'll listen."
'Maybe I can tell him tomorrow...or next week...when I feel better'
"I know..."
"You...Just get some rest...the doctor will be here soon."
Mark sighed just as Roger let out a lung wracking cough and started to wheeze slightly. A few minutes later he was lying back against the couch breathing heavily. Within seconds Roger vaguely noticed Mark was back on the couch and he was being pulled against Mark again, Who started rubbing his back.
"Roger..?"
He felt his shoulder being patted softly as the fit ended. Roger's breathing was still heavy and ragged, as he leaned against Mark trying to catch his breath.
"Rogge..."
"Hmmmmm..."
He groaned slightly as his eyes couldn't stay open any longer and he slipped into another deep sleep.
Seemingly hours later bleary eyed; Roger leaned up on his elbows and looked around. He was positioned on a horribly lumpy couch with a ragged but, slightly warm wool blanket wrapped around him. He quickly scanned the room searching for Mark. He was sitting near by with a bowl of what looked to Roger like dry cereal.
"Hey...:"
He was surprised at the hoarseness of his voice. He stared at Mark waiting for him to speak. His silence so far was unnerving. He couldn't stand to have those huge green eyes just staring at him with such compassion and concern.
'Say something...ANYTIHNG!'
"Hey."
That was all Mark said before he set the cereal down, walked over and felt Roger's head. Getting a good look at Mark he'd noticed how pale and thin he'd become since they'd last seen each other.
"How're you feeling?"
Sitting up all the way, Roger just shrugged and managed to choke out barely above a whisper:
"I've been better.."
'Well it looks like I've mastered the art of understating something. Why cant I just tell him...?'
"Obviously"
Mark adjusted his pillow and started to bombard him with question after question.
"Are you warm enough? Hungry; thirsty? What are you doing in New York, anyway?"
"Some people never change. That's one thing about Mark I hope never does...how much he cares. "
Roger looked at Mark for a moment and managed a small weak grin and shook his shaggy head lightly.
"I'm Fine. No I'm not hungry, yes I'd like something to drink... I'm...Visiting."
He hesitated to tell Mark why he was really here. He'd been kicked out of College last week, despite his mediocre attempts he hadn't brought his grades up at all. He thought about this a lot the few weeks it took him to get here....
Three days Previously
Roger stood on the side of the road, his thumb jerked out and his few bags on the soggy ground next to him. A red pickup stopped and the driver leaned his head out the window.
"Where you going kid?"
He grimaced at being called a kid, but he shook it off and yelled out "New York City, can I get a lift..?"
The man nodded and unlocked the passenger side as Roger made his way around traffic and the rusty truck. As he climbed in he was ignorant of the drivers conversation until he felt a light tap on his shoulder.
"Hey, Whadda running from...?"
"Nothing. I'm going home..."
Roger was snapped back into reality when Mark returned from the kitchen with a glass of water. His eyes where doubtful to the story but still trusting.
"Visiting in the middle of semester?"
Roger knew there was no escape. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
"I...dropped out."
"That'll do for now...hopefully its enough"
He sipped at the water waiting for his reaction...he waited and waited. He was watching Marks face for a sign of...anything.
Marks face was pensive, thinking about Roger's admission of "dropping out". For a second Roger though he wouldn't buy the story. He couldn't tell him...not yet. He quickly finished off the water holding the empty glass in his hands.
"Why? And what happened to you anyway, you look..."
Mark trailed off and let it hang in the air.
"If you only knew Mark..."
Not making eye contact he stared at the bowl of cereal on the table and tried to think of a decent response between the sips of water.
"I...it got too hard...nothing, nothing happened. I'm just a little sick, I know I look terrible."
"Terrible's not the word--D'you need more water maybe I should call for a doctor"
Mark stood and started to take the glass but, his hand kept a firm grasp on it, and Roger shook his head harder than he meant to. Dizzy, he laid back down setting the glass on the table next to the bowl before he dropped it.
"No...I just need to rest. I'll be fine in a few days."
Still sitting on the Coffee table Mark stared at Roger. He obviously didn't buy that. Roger shivered slightly and wrapped the blanket tighter around himself.
'Please Mark...help...please'
"You're sure?"
Roger nodded and gave his best attempt at his usual grin, but he felt it probably just made him look worse.
"Help me Mark...help...please"
His mind cried out the same way it had for the last few weeks, desperate and pleading. He ignored the mental protests and settled into the pillow in an attempt to get more comfortable. His thoughts just kept screaming in his head and he clenched his eyes shut and unknowingly yelled out.
"NO!"
Suddenly a pair of strong arms wrapped around him, he instinctively stiffened at the touch and tried to back away. But the arms didn't leave, he breathed deeply and realized it was Mark and his hug was comforting, welcomed.
'What the hell is wrong with me...? He's my friend...he'd understand....'
"You're sure your all right..?"
Roger's breath was ragged and unsteady as he shook his head from side to side. His eyes felt so heavy; like they were made of lead. He drifted slightly as he leaned in the back of the couch and tilted his head to the side.
"No...No...I'm fine"
Roger felt Mark get up off the couch he didn't bother turning, Roger knew he was at the phone.
"You are not...get some rest-please-I'm going to call for someone to have a look at you "
He remained sitting on the couch in what was now becoming a very uncomfortable position; he heard the phone pickup and dial a number and low talking for a few minutes then he hung up and came back over. Roger didn't have the strength or heart to argue with him right now . He let Mark lay him back on the couch Roger turned to face him as he sat back on the table.
"I...No. Never mind."
"Almost did it that time. So close, but not close enough"
"Rogge, if there's anything you want to say..."
Roger just looked at Mark as he straightened out the blanket and settled it over him again.
"You know I'll listen."
'Maybe I can tell him tomorrow...or next week...when I feel better'
"I know..."
"You...Just get some rest...the doctor will be here soon."
Mark sighed just as Roger let out a lung wracking cough and started to wheeze slightly. A few minutes later he was lying back against the couch breathing heavily. Within seconds Roger vaguely noticed Mark was back on the couch and he was being pulled against Mark again, Who started rubbing his back.
"Roger..?"
He felt his shoulder being patted softly as the fit ended. Roger's breathing was still heavy and ragged, as he leaned against Mark trying to catch his breath.
"Rogge..."
"Hmmmmm..."
He groaned slightly as his eyes couldn't stay open any longer and he slipped into another deep sleep.
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