Categories > Celebrities > Dir en grey > Lonely wishes


by fihsh 0 reviews

Shinya wants Die, but he can't have him. He resorts to what he can to make himself happy, even if it's only temporary.

Category: Dir en grey - Rating: R - Genres: Angst, Drama, Romance - Characters: Die, Kaoru, Shinya - Published: 2007-06-16 - Updated: 2007-06-16 - 1143 words

Disclaimer; I don't own anyone, sadly, and I don't get money for writing down my sick, twisted thoughts ):

I woke to the faint sound of my alarm clock in the distance. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. I saw sunlight pouring through the window and I stumbled as I stood up.
I looked around and was confused for a moment as to why I was out on the couch. I remembered and I shook my head for a moment in shame. I checked my clock and was relieved to see I'd only woken up a few minutes late.
I turned the alarm off and quickly got dressed. I would just have to look better than Die's girlfriend, and he would pick her over me.
Right, like that would work, but it was worth a try.
I wore semi-tight black pants and a white shirt with a low neckline that showed off my collar bone. I pulled my hair out from under the collar of the shirt and immediately set to brushing, straightening, and spraying it until it looked as good as it possibly could. I let small bits hang over my shoulders and fluffed up the top a little.
I put a little makeup on my eyes and smeared some matte lipstick on that was almost my natural color, but made my lips stand out a bit more.
I smiled at my reflection and went to quickly brush my teeth, deciding against eating breakfast.
I got in the car and drove to the studio, my heart beating harder with every passing minute. I kept wondering how the girl would sound, what her name was as I'd seen her picture, but never heard her name. I knew she was very pretty, but I thought Die could do better. No one particular in mind...
I parked and took a deep breath as I climbed out of the car and grabbed my bag. I locked the car and walked towards the door, noticing that Die's car was already here.
I smiled and walked forward, peeking in the window to see if he had just gotten here like me. I saw the girl, and him, deep in a lip-lock.
A sharp pang struck in my heart and I looked away quickly. My eyes stung painfully and I continued walking to the studio.
I heard the car door open and footsteps racing towards me.
"Shinya, hey!"
I turned around and saw Die racing towards me, the girl clinging to him. I forced a smile and replied, "Hey."
"This is Reina," He pushed her forward.
I nodded slightly and forced another smile, "Nice to meet you. Die talks about you all the time."
"Oh, he always talks about you too! I never expected you to be as beautiful as he says you are!!"
I blushed and looked over at Die. I smiled at him. I saw the guitarist was also blushing lightly, "Of course words could never do Shinya justice!"
I smiled and looked back up. "You look good today, Die."
"Thanks," He said softly, looking down.
He was acting oddly, I noticed. He was much different than normal, exuberant Die, it was almost as if he was embarrassed.
We entered the studio and I felt a slight wave of nausea pass over me. I wasn't sure whether it was Die kissing Reina or the lack of food in my system.
I grabbed my drumsticks from the bag and waved at Kyo slightly as I sat behind the drums.
I hit out a few rhythms and felt myself sag with exhaustion already. How long had it been since I'd eaten? I'd eaten yesterday a few times, I think.
I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes, hoping to rest just a little bit before we started.
"Alright, let's get going!" Kaoru yelled just moments after I sat down.
Someone tapped my head, "Wake up, practice time." I opened my eyes and saw Die with his hand extended.
I took the hand, smiling at the feeling of the callused fingers. I smiled and stumbled to my stool.
I rocked a little on it but shook my head slightly. I picked up my drumsticks and listened to the song that Kaoru named off.
I glanced over at Reina quickly, seeing her sitting on Kyo's couch. I shook my head again and I concentrated on the drums.
I played half of the song diligently until my head started to swim slightly. I dropped my arms and brought a hand to my forehead. I felt cool sweat forming on my forehead, my breathing becoming shallow. The others were still playing.
I slipped off the stool and closed my eyes as I lay on the floor. There was a violent ringing in my ears and I sunk down into a welcoming darkness.
I vaguely remembered someone saying my name and a hand on my face, someone's arms beneath my back, and being moved somewhere.
"Shinya... Shinya, are you okay?"
I tried to move away from the sound, my eyes not opening. Something cold and wet hit my face and my eyes snapped open.
"Told you that'd wake him up," Kyo said as he leaned against the wall, taking the glass of water back.
I pushed myself up on the couch and rubbed my eyes. "What happened?"
"Reina says you just passed out while you were playing," Die said as he knelt beside me.
"Oh..." I looked away.
"Are you not feeling well?" He touched my chest softly.
I shrugged, "No worse than usual."
"When's the last time you ate?"
"I'm not sure."
"Was it last night?"
I thought for a moment before I shook my head.
"Yesterday morning?"
"I... don't think so."
"The night before?"
I thought back and I remembered, "Oh! It was two days ago, I had some rice at lunch."
He stroked my face lightly and Kaoru looked over, "You need to eat."
"I'll go grab something for all of us," Kyo offered as he pushed himself up to a standing position, "Anything special you want, Shinya?"
"Something I like... I really don't care."
"Alright, I'll be back in about an hour."
I lay back on the couch and sighed softly.
"Die, I'm going to go out and smoke with Kaoru, okay?" Reina said as she ran a hand along his back.
The redhead nodded slightly and kept his gaze on me.
Die rubbed my shoulder softly, "Why haven't you been eating?"
I shrugged, "I forgot," I said quite truthfully.
"Shinya, you're so skinny... I thought I might break you in two when I carried you to this couch."
"I'm not worried about my weight... I've just had things on my mind," I rubbed my eyes a little.
"Well... please, we all care about you, if you have a problem, come to us, okay?"
I nodded, "I will."
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