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"How do you feel, Harper?" The doctor said as he gently applied pressure to my still swollen ankle. "Is your ankle still causing you trouble?"
"Not really; it's still sore but manageable." I smiled as he let my foot down and pressed down on my knee.
"Are you having any trouble walking?"
"A little, but not enough to need my crutches." I nodded and winced.
"Good, I think you can go without your crutches." He wrote something down in his clipboard and smiled at me and Gabriel. "But please inform me if you have anymore discomfort or trouble getting around."
"What about lacrosse?" Gabriel asked.
"I'm going to give you an excuse for this week of practices and games; we don't want you back in the hospital after only a week of playing."
I laughed and nodded then scooted off the table; careful not to put all of my weight on the injured ankle. Then Gabriel and I made our way out to the lobby to fill out forms and excuses. On the way home we barely spoke, the silence always made me uncomfortable.
"I don't want you to play lacrosse anymore." Gabriel said, her voice set and her jaw working.
"What?!" I almost shouted. "You know my team needs me."
"But you got hurt playing it." She sounded almost pleading.
"No, I got hurt because a girl wasn't paying attention." I fought the urge to yell. "And you knew when you signed the papers that there was a possibility of my getting severely hurt, maybe even hospitalized."
"I know, but I don't want you getting hurt anymore."
"I can't stop it if I get hurt, anything goes in lacrosse." I shook my head. "Which is why they made you sign that insurance paper."
"But-."
"No but's, I'm playing and you can't stop me."
With that I turned and stared at the car passing us on the highway. When we pulled up into the driveway I slammed my door shut, storming my way past Pete, Patrick, and Andy playing soccer in the front yard, stomping up the steps past Shane's bedroom where her and Joe were in a full blown make out session and into my room where I slammed my door shut and locked the newly placed deadbolt lock.
I sat down on my floor sobbing and pulled my knees up to my chest. It wasn't fair, lacrosse was the only thing I had going for me. It was the only thing I was good at without really trying.
"Harper, is something wrong?" Pete asked sitting on the other side of the door.
"No, everything's peachy keen." I sniffed wiping away a few more tears and cursing myself for getting upset so easily.
"Peachy keen and grape jelly?" He laughed and tried the doorknob then went back to sitting with his back to the door.
"Gabriel wants me to quit the lacrosse team." I bit my lip and swallowed back the pathetic tears.
"She can't do that!" He sounded outraged and got up.
"I know." I sniffed and unlocked the deadbolt. Pete opened the door and shuffled over to the bed to face me.
"Are you gonna?"
"What do you think?" I asked as Patrick and Andy entered the room and sat down on the floor around me.
"So you're not quitting?"
"Not unless I have to." I nodded and wiped away any tears that remained as we all sat on my bedroom floor enjoying each other's company.
"We need to do something." Andy finally said staring out my open window.
"Like what?" Pete raised an eyebrow at him. "We honestly have nowhere to go."
"We always make plans and they always fall through." Patrick said almost bitterly.
"Well this time it shouldn't." Andy snapped and glared at him. "Don't look at things through the negative all the time, people might actually like you if you didn't."
"Don't tell me to not look at things through the negative, Mr. Oh My God I Have a Twenty Four Inch Waistline." He shot back and stood up. "You're the most negative person I know wanting to look like you died four years ago."
"Shut up!" Andy shouted standing up and balling his fist. "I can't help it!"
"Yeah, of course you can't help that after every meal when nobodies looking you puke in the upstairs bathroom."
"That's not true!" He sniffed and bit his quivering lip. "I don't do that anymore."
I looked at Pete, he was staring grimly at his shoes; waiting out the spat. I winced at the things being shouted back and forth, Patrick was being so cold hearted.
"I'm sure you even cut up your foot to make it look like you ate." He let out the slightest hint of a smirk. "Face it, the only thing you'll be good at is binging and gorging."
"SHUT UP!" Pete shouted from his post on the floor by my bed. "That's enough from both of you!"
Instantly both of them stopped and look at him and each other. They were listening to him, only him.
"Let Andy alone, you know he can't help it." Pete stood up and glared at them. "Lighten up, you're freaking Harper out."
I gave a sheepish smile and looked down. Don't bring me into this; I don't even know what's going on! I bit my lip as Pete clamed both of them down and sent them on their way; leaving only me and him.
"Sorry, it seems like since Andy had his last attack they've been at each other's throats without end." He shook his head. "Patrick doesn't want to think of Andy as a helpless person, he knows he isn't."
"What does Andy think?"
"He thinks he'll never get better." He sighed. "He still thinks he's ugly and fat."
"But he small than all of us!" I couldn't believe it; I sometimes even wished I had his waistline.
"That's what I told him, but he refuses to believe me." He hugged his legs. "Patrick's striking out at everyone, Andy's getting sicker and thinner by the day, and even Joe is too lost in a world of drugs and Shane that he's no help either."
"I'm sorry; I didn't think they had such a heavy burden on you."
"A heavy burden?!" He blinked back tears and laughed bitterly. "People keep saying I'm the one that needs counseling cause I like to light fires, but then they look right past Joe a druggy that'll probably end up getting Shane pregnant, Andy who has an eating disorder that refuses to get help for it, and Patrick that could hurt you or me or someone we both care about."
"Life's unfair." I shook my head and pulled him into a hug. "But you have to stay strong."
I felt him start to sob and shake in my arms.
"You and I have to stay strong for all of them." I pushed him back; he wiped the tears from his eyes and sniffed. "You have so much pressure on you I'm surprised you didn't snap."
"Don't be surprise if I do." He said bitterly.
"Don't say that!" I ordered taking his hand and squeezing it tightly. "People need you to be strong; someday people will know your name and hopefully think fondly of you."
He scoffed and pushed past me, letting my hand fall to my side. I sighed disappointedly and turned back to pick up some papers that were on the floor.
"Hey Harper?" He said just before he walked out. "Thanks, if I'm not strong I at least know you are for me."
I smiled and nodded as he closed the door and walked down the hall to his own room. I couldn't think of myself as strong, but if someone saw me that way I guess I was.