FicWad

Frankie rolled over to face the sleeping form of Ray. Last night...their relationship had taken a big step forward. He knew that no matter what, he'd always love Ray, and that Ray would surely love him back. He replayed the actions of that night over in his head...every movement, every kiss, every moan... He shivered with the thoughts, feeling himself getting aroused from such thinking. He reached a tentative hand towards Ray, wishing not to wake him up, and stoked his hair lightly. God, he loved him...but what would the others think? What did the others think? They probably thought he was a sick, psycho freak that needed to be put away.

Well, seriously, Gerard had dated a man once. Bert, from the Used, ya...and he never thought anything of it. So why did he feel so weirded out then? Press, paparazzi, rumors? Maybe...but nothing like that should ever come between him and one he loves. He pushed all of his thoughts away as Ray stirred in front of him.

"Good morning, babe." Frank whispered, leaning in a little and kissing Ray gently on the lips. Ray just smiled and yawned before kissing Frank back. "Did you sleep good?"

"Yes." He mumbled, pulling the blankets up under his chin. "Did you?" He stifled another yawn. Frank nodded and snuggled up against Ray.

"Mmm..." Frank moaned, realizing that Ray was still naked. He pressed himself harder against Ray, causing slight friction, making Ray bite his bottom lip in an effort to not groan.

"Frank..." He whispered. Frank pulled away smiling and slowly climbed out of the bed. "Where are you off to?" Ray asked sitting up in bed and stretching.

"I'm gonna go get dressed and head downstairs for breakfast. Maybe Gerard is cooking something...if not, you wanna go out for donuts or something?" Ray nodded and watched as Frank left. He stood and looked down at himself. He was completely unclothed, and for some reason, that bothered him. Sure he loved Frankie and would die for him(he almost had died), but this/...this whole /relationship thing? It was great, yea, don't get him wrong, but he was uncomfortable for some reason. He liked it when Frank kissed him, held him, pressed up against him...but blowjobs and almost having sex? No. He didn't want that, not yet anyways. He wasn't ready.

Ray went to his dresser and pulled out a clean pair of boxers then rummaged through his closet for a pair of tight, black jeans and a Motorhead t-shirt. He peered out into the hallway...it was empty. And it sounded like everyone was asleep. He made a run for the bathroom, opening the door and locking himself in.

"Excuse you?" He heard a voice. Arms wrapped around his wait, pulling him back. "I didn't know you wanted a shower with me...but okay." It was Frank. Of course. Damnit.

"Um...well, I can wait, babe?" Ray asked, but Frank just pulled at Ray and pushed him into the shower. This was getting way to outta hand. But before Ray could do anything, Frank had pushed Ray down onto his knees and was pushing his cock forward.

"I think you owe me...for last night." He moaned and Ray obliged, unwillingly, and took Frank's cock into his mouth. He worked his tongue around the swollen head, making Frank buck and push farther into Ray's mouth. He sucked lightly at first, then harder, moving up and down the shaft, letting his teeth drag on Frank's foreskin. Frank finally felt himself cum, and Ray decided to swallow it to avoid questions at a later time.

Frankie's heavy breathing slowed and he helped Ray stand. He pressed him against the shower wall and kissed him hard.

"Jesus, Frank..." Ray breathed, trying to pull away. "Please, not now?" Frank just rolled his eyes.

"Fine." He said, turning around, beginning to wash his hair.

Ray was scared. What the hell was wrong with Frank? Why was he was he acting like this all of a sudden? "Frank?" Ray asked quietly.

"Yea?" Frank answered, washing the soap from his hair.

Ray swallowed. "What's wrong?" Frank shrugged his shoulders. "I mean, you're acting annoyed, pushy, mean...what's going on?" Ray asked. Frank whipped around and pushed Ray against the wall again, forcefully, hard. "Ow." He breathed in.

"I don't know. I mean, we've been dropped from our label, the tour van is gone!" He rose his voice to a harsh whisper as he spit in Ray's face. "Life is going down the shitter! What the fuck do you think is wrong is with me?" He ground out.

"Frank, please...you're really scaring me..." Ray whimpered.

"Shut up, Toro." Frank said, turning Ray around so that his back against Frank's chest. Ray whimpered again, feeling hot tears well in his eyes. He knew where this was going to go.

Frank shoved himself into Ray without warning. Ray grit his teeth, he was unprepared, and Frank was tearing him open...or at least it felt like that. Frank pushed in and pulled out, then back in, faster and harder with each thrust. This was wrong. He never believed the guys when they said Frank worked his anger out with sex, or drugs. And, Ray just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Frank pushed in as far as he could go, hitting that sensitive inside Ray, making Ray let out a moan...which only encouraged Frank's frantic fucking. Ray felt himself die inside. He wanted to convince himself that the only reason Frank was doing this was because he was angry...and that it would stop soon...hopefully. Frank wrapped his arms around Ray and slowed down slightly, didn't make it hard, tried to be calmer.

"Fuck, Ray...you're so...so tight." He moaned into the crook of Ray's neck. "I didn't mean to hurt you." He said, trying to make it more enjoyable on Ray's part. He pulled out slowly, pushed back in a lot slower, more gentle. Ray didn't want to moan, but when Frank hit his prostate, it drove him over the edge. He felt himself tighten up around Frank's member when he cummed.

"Damnit..." Ray whispered to himself. He felt Frankie cum inside him and they both stood there, the water pelting both of them, as they breathed in heavily.

"Mm..." Frankie groaned. "That was nice...tight...hot..." He mumbled. Ray just nodded. Frank slowly pulled out and then left, grabbing a towel, wrapping it around his waist and stepping out into the hall with another word to Ray. Ray felt his knees give out and he fell to the shower floor.

What the hell had just happened?! Frank had just fucked him...no, raped him. He didn't want this, he didn't want any of it. And Frank just took him, fucked him without warning, without care. He just did it, to work out his own anger and frustration. Ray felt himself begin to cry, uncontrollably. Hopefully no one could hear him. He couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't stop the tears. The water became cold, but he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. It would have been better if he had just died back in the hospital, if he would have just died...

Ray sat there for almost three hours, the water unbelievably cold. Nobody came to check on him, not even Frank. Nobody cared. Why should they care? He cost them there label, he cost them the life and future of the band. Of course no one cared...

"Ray?" He heard his name and soft rap at the door. It was Bob. "Are you okay, man?" He heard the knob turn. He didn't want Bob seeing him like this...then again, Bob was like the only one who had ever truly cared for Ray. He was always so nice...

"N-n-no..." Ray whimpered, tears still falling. Bob opened the shower door and took in Ray's appearance; red, swollen eyes, bruised body... What had happened?

"Jesus, Ray!" Bob exclaimed, then lowering his voice. "Ray, tell me what happened!" He said, grabbing a towel and turning off the water. He wrapped it around Ray's shoulders then stood him up. Ray almost fell, but Bob held on.

"F-Frank...th-that's w-w-what hap-happened." Ray choked out. Bob's mouth fell open.

"What Ray! What did Frank do to you...please tell me?!" Bob said, locking the door and helping Ray dry off and get dressed. Ray shook with sobs and tears.

He opened his mouth to speak but stopped. Bob hugged him, encouraging him. "He...he was angry...and he...he-he..." Bob nodded. "He-he r-r-raped me, Bob...I swear." Bob just held Ray closer, hugging him tightly, stroking his hair comfortingly.

"It'll be okay, Ray." Bob reassured him. "I promise. I'm going to tell Gerard, is that okay?" Ray nodded. "And you can stay in my room, because it has a lock, understand?" Ray nodded again. Bob smiled, then led Ray out into the hall.

Frank was standing there, arms crossed. He had a worried look on his face as he took in Bob and Ray walking out together. "Ray?" He asked. Ray just looked down and Bob pushed past Frank, putting Ray in his room and locking the door before shutting it. Bob walked back past Frank and then headed down the stairs to Gerard's room.

He knocked on the door. "C'mon." Came a voice from within. Bob opened the door slowly, shutting it and locking it behind him.

"Gee, I really need to talk to you." Gerard was sketching, his eyebrows knit into serious concentration. Iron Maiden flowed from his stereo. He looked up, seeing Bob's worried expression, wet shirt.

"Bob, what's going on?" Gerard said, putting down his sketch pad and pencil.

Bob walked over to the bed and sat down. "It's about Ray...and what Frank did to him." He said, lowering his voice. Gerard's face lit up, his eyes wide.

"What! What the fuck did Frankie do to Ray, Bob!?" Gerard said a little to loud, he dropped his voice.

"Gee, Frankie raped Ray." Bob said, a look of concern and hatred on his face. "I'm serious. I don't think Ray would lie about this. He was crying and shaking and he was bruised all around his sides and lower half, Gee."

Gerard shot up, on his feet, heading for the door. Bob stopped him. "Let me go, I'm gonna fucking kill him!"

"No!" Bob argued. Gerard pulled away, breathing in deeply and leaning against the door.
"Why not?" Gerard said, reaching into his pockets and producing a cigarette and a lighter. He lit it, taking off a long drag. "I preferred him on drugs..."

"I mean, we can't just go out there and say, 'Why did you fuck Ray?'." Bob said. Gerard nodded.

"Then what are we supposed to do, Bob?" Gerard asked, blowing out smoke and taking another big drag off his cigarette.

Bob shrugged. "I really don't know. But listen, Gee...and I hate saying this, but..." Bob breathed in deeply. "I think it's best if we let Frank go."

*

Frank stood in the hallway, outside Bob's door. He knocked softly. "Babe?" He said through the door.

*

Ray heard his voice through the door. He began to shake, not wanting to talk to Frank, not wanting to see him. "W-what?" He finally choked out, standing from the bed and walking to the door. He could hear Frank's breathing, uneven and choppy...like he was holding back tears.

"Please, Ray...just listen to me, baby...please?" Ray didn't reply, but Frank went on. "Look, everybody has their own ways of dealing with anger. Mine used to be drugs and alcohol, Ray. And I'm glad that I don't do that shit anymore. But, ever since I quit them, I needed a new way to vent. I started going to strip bars and shit...and I would take girls to hotels and fuck them senseless."

Ray grimaced. "And believe me, after that, I was like...addicted. I mean, when I was angry, sex was the only thing could wear me out and calm me down..." He sighed loudly. "I'm so, so fucking sorry that I did that to you, Ray. Believe me, I'm sorry...I mean it."

Ray didn't want to believe Frank. He knew that Frank was sorry, but he didn't want to accept the apology...he just didn't want to put up with this shit right now. Too much had been happening lately, and he didn't want to deal with anymore.

"I'm sorry, baby." Frank said, sighing again before turning and leaving. Ray just walked back over to the bed, letting Frank's words replay over and over in his head. He didn't love Frank anymore. Had he ever loved him in the first place? He didn't know. Sure, he loved him like a brother...but that was it. This relationship thing was a bad idea. The whole thing from the very beginning.

He wasn't in love with Frank. In fact, he didn't love him at all. He was disgusted, hateful... He was alone again...and totally disenchanted.