Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm just asking to leave.

Chapter Twenty Three

by rainbowsprinkles08 3 reviews

Disclaimer!!! DRUG USE

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Humor, Romance - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2007-06-28 - Updated: 2007-06-29 - 1694 words - Complete

In case you didnt read the disclaimer in the summary... THERE IS DRUG USE IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!

I'm sorry for those straight edge people who are seriously offended by drug use (I know there are people out there)and no. I'm not implying anybody. But I'm not straightedge. So deal. This is my story. If you dont like it, dont read it.

Chapter 23.

I sat on the top floor of one of the many parking structures in Boston. It was after 11 pm and the city lights were twinkling as I looked out over them. Whenever I can't be found thats the place to look. I go there jsut to think....and to smoke (sh.) Which is actually what I was doing at this point in time. I put the bowl up to my lips and took a nice long drag, then took a breath of fresh air and held it in until I couldn't anymore and exhaled the smoke up into the air.

I pondered the events of the night. After I had left Ryan in the bedroom I walked out and sat on the couch with everyone else and watched the (intense) competition taking place in front of us. A few minutes later, Ryan followed suit and sat down on a lounge chair next to the couch, but I could feel him looking at me, not the TV. I cheered Spence on and tried my best to mess up Brendon by randomly reaching out and pushing him over.

"Stoppp!!" Brendon whined trying to catch up to Spencer's lead.

The song finished and Spencer ran around the room doing his victory laps while Jon sang the Rocky theme song. Brendon pouted and Emily got up to comfort him.

"She made me lose!!" Brendon yelled and pointed accusingly at me.

I put on my puppy face with the big eyes. "Why Brendon, I can't make you do anything!"

At this point Lane and Meg basically falling on floor laughing and I even heard Ryan chuckle abit. Don't get me wrong. I was still sad about what happend in the room a few minutes previously, but I was sick of being depressed and I was sick of being depressing around the panic! boys, so I acted as normal as I could.

After about an hour I got up "Ok guys, I'm out. I have class tomorrow."

"We do too, but you dont see us ruining the fun!" Lane said as she watched Meg try and take on Spencer at guitar Hero.

I shrugged. "I'm tired and you can't stop me."

Meg and Spencer finsihed their game, Spencer having crushed Meg (no suprise since Meg has never played before).

"Ok. But we'll see you before we leave again right?" Jon asked walking over to me and giving me a bear hug.

"Of course! I've missed hanging with you guys." I said as I hugged Spencer.

Then I hugged Brendon and last one left was Ryan. We stood there for a minute awkwardly. Then I put out my arms and he pulled me to himself for a tight hug.

"I'll make you trust me again." He whispered in my ear.

"You can't make me do anything." I whispered back before I pulled away.

"We'll see you at home." Meg said hugging me.

"Ok. Bye!" I walked out and waved good night.

After that I went home and tried to read for a while, but couldn't concentrate, so I came to this parking garage.

I spaced out getting caught up in the lights, no doubt the pot was working its magic.

I felt a body get up on the wall next to me and I jumped slightly almost falling off.

Arms reachedd out and steadied me.

"Wow, that was close. Sorry, I didnt mean to scare you, I knew I would find you here." Emily said taking the bowl and taking a hit.

We sat in silence just looking out over the city, passing the bowl between us.

"I love hanging out with those guys." I said breaking the silence.

"Yeah. They really know how to have fun." Emily nodded.

"What'd you do after I left?"

"Nothing really. Talked. Ryan retreated to his room after you left." I nodded. "Anti social emo boy."

I laughed.

"Hey, Brendon is an emo boy too!"

"Yeah but hes not anti social like Ryan!"

I shrugged. "True."

We sat in silence again.

"He told me he loved me...again."

"Jesus, does this kid never give up?" Emily said shaking her head.

I looked down at my hands and a grin played across my lips. "We kissed."

"You, WHAT?!" She said nearly falling off the wall like I had done earlier. When she steadied herseld we burst into a fit of giggles. Then we calmed down. "What did you do??"

"Well, I kissed him back."

"You didnt!"

I nodded. "I did." I said as I exhaled more smoke.

"When did all this happen and where?"

"While you were watching Brendon and Spencer play Guitar Hero. In his bedroom."

"In his-" She turned to me wide eyed. "Did you do something else?"

"Haha. No."

"I've always wondered....How is he? You know as a kisser?"

"mmmmmmm." I grinned. "Amazing." I looked up into the night sky. "Hows Brendon?"

"Those lips are magic." She said winking.

"Ok wow. TMI." I said giggling. Silence settled in once again.

"So, Are you two back together?" She asked


"Why not?"

"Because I pushed him off of me and told him we couldn't be together until I trusted him again."

"You go girl!" Emily said high- fiving me.

She offered me back the bowl. "No you kill it. I'm done."

"Do you want to get back together with him?"

I pulled my legs up pretzel style and put my hands in my lap rubbing the pads of my fingers together.

"I dunno." I sighed.

We sat in silence as Emily finished what was left in the bowl. Then we hopped down and started walking back to our suite.

As we walked I bounced on the balls of my feet. I always get bouncy when I'm high.

Emily looked over at me. "Well you are certainly chipper."


"This is the happiest I've seen you in a while."

"Yeah I dunno. I guess something clicked tonight and I jsut dont feel like being depressing anymore."

"Good, I like the non-depressing you." She said as she drapped her arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah I do too."

When we got back, Meg and Lane were already asleep, so we said good night to each other and walked into our respective rooms to go to bed. I sat up reading for a while, then eventually sleep took over.


I woke up the next morning to my alarm sounding. I had few hours before class, but I still had some work to get done and I had to get prettied up and everything.

I rolled myself out of bed and trugged into the bathroom. I showered, brushed my teeth, dried/straightened my hair, etc.

I walked into the kitchen to get my normal Lucky Charms/ Trix cereal. The rest of the were already up and emily headed into the bathroom.

"Morning!" Meg chirped.

"Morning." I said as I sat down.

"Sleep ok?" Lane inquired.

"Eh. yeah I guess."

We ate and talked for a while, when EMily came out of the bathroom, Lane went in and then when Lane came out, Meg went in.

Soon, I had to leave for class. I gathered up my books and notes and waved good bye and headed out the door. I had my math class today, so it wasnt a total waste of my time. I like math. After class I strolled around the city for a while, then headed back.

When I got back i noticed something in front of the door. I walked up and looked down. They were gladolas. My favorite flowers. I picked them up and read the card in them.

Thats weird. I thought as I read the card. All it said on it was Time.

I walked into the apartment.

"Hey guys do have any-" I looked up and realized there were similar bouquets around the room.

"Nicky, tell Ryan to stop sending stupid flowers. Hes making our boyfriends look bad. AND HES NOT EVEN YOU'RE BOYFRIEND." Meg said fromt he table.

"They're from him?"

"Yeah. Hes been sending them all morning." Emily chimed.

"The card on this one is weird. All it says is time."

"Yeah, read the rest of the cards, they're layed out in the order they were brought in."

I walked around reading the cards. Getting more teary eyed with each one.

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth
And our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same
The more you change the less you feel
Believe, believe in me, believe
That life can change, that you're not stuck in vain
We're not the same, we're different tonight
Tonight, so bright

The last card read: Believe in me, Ryan.

"What does it say?"

"Its the lyrics to Tonight, Tonight."

"Love that song." Emily cooed.

"God he couldnt make something up?! Thats sooo...unromantic. I mean he is a lyricist." Lane retorted.

Meg burst out laughing.

"I love the song. And I guess it kind of does refer to the situation."

"Couldn't he have used one of their songs?" Meg said in between laughter.

"'I've got more wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better fuck than any boy you'll ever meet?' Yeah, Meg, really romantic." I rolled my eyes.

"Is it still me that makes you sweat?" Emily asked Lane totally serious faced.

"Am I who you think about in bed?" Lane responded to Emily.

I was rolling on the floor laughing.

We quieted down, but with little chuckles here and there. We were being really noisy and our front door was hanging open from when I had walked in.

Our neighbor yelled to us from across the hall "Haven't you people ever heard of closing a goddamn door?!"

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