FicWad

Chapter title is from 'Feeling This' by Blink-182. May they rest in peace. :D


"Come on, Pete, pick up, pick up..." I muttered under my breath.

"Huh? Who's this?" Pete's voice rang through the loudspeaker on my phone.

"Oh, hey..." I started, before I was interrupted.

"Oh, sorry. You've reached Peter, but I'm not here right now which kinda sucks but...I'm rambling. Just leave a message and I'll get back to you. Kay?" The phone beeped.

"Goddamn, Pete, you gotta change that voicemail!" I laughed. "Well this is Patrick in case you can't tell...I was just wondering if you wanted to hear some beats I threw together this morning. I thought they would be cool for B-sides. I would e-mail them to you, but my Internet has just decided it doesn't exist, so I've gotta get that fixed now. So...ring me. Hey, you're coming to the launch tonight, so talk then, kay? Bye..."

"What was that all about, honey?" Janae, my girlfriend, asked sleepily.

"Well finally! Sleeping beauty awakes!" I smiled.

"Ha ha!" she laughed sarcastically. "What time is it, anyway?"

I picked up my Blackberry and checked the time. "Half three," I informed her.

"Shit!" she exclaimed in her clear English accent. "Only four hours to the launch! I've gotta pick up my dress from the dry-cleaners, I have a hair appointment in an hour; I'm getting my legs waxed in...half a fucking hour! Oh God, Tricky..."

"Relax, Janae!" I held out my hands. "I'm the one that needs to be worried. Tell you what, I'll pick up your dress if you help me do my hair and dress and stuff...and guess what?"

"What?" Janae lifted her head.

"The sideburns are coming off today," I said proudly.

"No!" Janae whined. "Why?"

"Bored of them," I shrugged. "I'm gonna try to grow bangs now."

"Bangs?" Janae wrinkled her nose. "What? Do you wanna go downhill like Blink-182 after Tom grew bangs?"

"Hey!" I defended Tom. "They were classy bangs!"

"Can't we keep a little bit of sideburn?" she stroked my sideburns fondly.

"Okay," I backed down. "Just an inch. Kay?"

"Kay...I can't believe we nearly lost you there!" Janae said earnestly.

"Who are you talking to?" I asked, confused.

"The sideburns," Janae said, nonchalantly.

"Okay..." I stood up. "Well I'm going to pick up your dress now. Cos I'm kinda wierded out here..."

"Fine!" she peered up at me. "But no peeking!"

"Of course!" I laughed. After I picked up Janae's dress (without peeking, what a good boyfriend I am!), then I went to get my hair done.

"Just a little bit off them!" I pleaded. I heard the buzzing of the razor, and saw the stubble float to the floor. It was like a little bit of me had died. But... "I look good!" I beamed.

"You sure do!" the stylist (or whatever you call them) smiled. "Big occasion?"

"Sure is!" I smiled.

"Care to elaborate?" she asked.

"I would...but I'd probably get sued. It really is a massive event!"

"Oh...oh my God, you're the singer in Fall Out Boy!" she shrieked. "My daughter is your biggest fan!"

"Do you...want me to, I dunno, sign an autograph or something?" I shrugged.

"Could you?" So I pulled out my Sharpy (always good to keep one handy) and signed a sheet of paper she had handy.

"What time is it?" I asked, scrawling my name on the sheet.

"Half five," she checked her watch.

"Shit!" I lifted my head. "Thanks, and see you round!" I dashed out to my car and drove home. Janae was sitting on the bed, tapping her freshly manicured nails impatiently.

"Finally!" she jumped up. She took the dress and hung it up carefully. "Okay, honey, what are you wearing?" I pulled out a pinstripe suit jacket, a simple white shirt, and a dark red tie. "See, pinstripes to make me look taller..."

"Wait, wait, wait," Janae held her hands out. "What are you planning on wearing for the bottom half...oh, Patrick...please God..." I gestured to my jeans. "Patrick! Pete, Andy and Joe are going to be wearing suits!"

"Oh, come on, Jan!" I whined. "Don't you remember my Mom's wedding?"

"Ew...you're right," she wrinkled her nose. "Maybe suits aren't such a good idea for you. That's good work, Trick. No more work needed! Now, let's see your hair." I pulled off my hat, and she ran her fingers through it. "Wow. You've really let it grow!" she smiled. "I think we should straighten it!"

"Yes!" I cheered. "Finally...it's long enough!" She straightened her hair while I worked on some beats on Garageband.

"There!" Janae proclaimed. "Done!" She held out a mirror.

"Oh my fucking God!" I screamed. "I have bangs! This is the happiest day of my life!"

"Geez, Patrick, they're just bangs!" but she kissed me on the cheek. "I'm gonna go get changed in the spare room now, I think you should do the same."

"Will do," I kissed her back. She shimmied out of the room, dress slung over her shoulder. I slipped into a new pair of jeans, pulled the shirt on and, finally, slipped into the suit. I pulled the Green Day edition Vans I'd bought especially on, then fastened the tie around my neck. Finally, I adjusted a black Clandestine hat over my hair. I actually looked
good. "JANAE!" I yelled. "I'M READY!"

"ME TOO!" she yelled back. "MEET IN THE LIVING ROOM?"

"KAY!" I yelled back. I went into the living room and sat down on my leather sofa.

"How do I look?" Janae sneaked behind me. I turned my head around.

"Wow..." I whispered. "You look amazing."

"Thanks," she said shyly. Her strawberry blonde hair flowed naturally down, contrasting with the short, tight, black dress, the plunging neckline perfectly complimenting her figure.

"Let's go before I get too distracted," I swallowed. I stood up, and took her arm in the crook of mine. "Your carriage awaits."

"You mean the Civic!" Janae laughed.

"Could be," I winked, holding the car door open. I sat into the car and plugged my phone out of the charger. "Eight missed calls?"

"Who are they from?" Janae asked.

"Private number," I shrugged.

"Just keep your phone on, in case they ring back," Janae suggested.

"Kay," I agreed.

"Why did we take the car, anyway?" Jan asked. "We're at the venue already!"

"I dunno..." I shrugged. "The car looks good, I guess. Just wanted to show it off."

"Good call!" she agreed, as I parked. "You're getting good at this parallel parking shit."

"I've been working on it!" I laughed. We got out, only to find Joe standing outside, a smoke in his hand, Andy pacing nervously beside him. "Hey guys, sorry we're late..." I apologised.

"Have you seen Pete?" Andy cut me off.

"No, and he hasn't been answering his phone, and he hasn't been online..." I shrugged.

"If he doesn't come in the next fifteen minutes," Joe took a drag of his cigarette, before throwing it on the ground and stamping it out, "we're starting without him. Right?"

"Um, right," I agreed nervously. "Who'll do the speech, though?"

"You," Andy pointed at me.

"Me?" my voice suddenly went all squeaky.

"Yes, you," Joe rolled his eyes.

"But...but...I've got nothing prepared!" I protested.

"Well let's work on it now!" Janae smiled. "Anybody got any paper? Or a pen?"

"One sec," I ran back to the car and pulled out a notebook and a pen, before running back. We quickly scrawled down a messy speech. "It's bad, but it'll do!"

"Hey," Andy glanced at his watch. "It's been fifteen minutes."

"Should we go in?" Joe bit his lip nervously.

"Let's go," I gulped. I walked up to the platform nervously, and adjusted the microphone. "Um, hi," I addressed the crowd. "Sorry Pete isn't here, we have no idea where he is..." Suddenly I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. "Sorry about this, folks." I pressed the green button on the phone. "Hey."

"Hello," an unfamiliar voice answered on the other line. "Is this Patrick Stumph?" he asked, pronouncing my name wrong.

"Stump," I corrected him. "Yes, it is."

"Are you Peter Wentz' next-of-kin?" he asked.

"Yes," I swallowed. "Why?"

"We'd like you to come down to the morgue to identify his body." Everything went still around me. I could hear no sound.

"Yes. Fine." I replied robotically, before hanging up and dropping my phone to the ground. I was swaying slightly, I remember that much.

"Patrick!" I heard Janae scream my name. "Tricky!" Then everything went black.