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Oh my God. I'm so embarrassed for her. Does she know what she looks like? Maybe she walked past the mirror in the hallway.
"Who's that?" Joe asked me.
"That would be Ellie." I whispered.
"Is she your sister?"
"Hell, no. She's my landlady's daughter."
"Landlady?" Patrick laughed.
"It's easier than saying 'the woman I live with'." I said.
"How old is she?" Joe asked.
"Twelve." Patrick and I said simultaneously.
Joe whistled and Patrick turned to me.
"I want to crawl in a hole and die."
"You'll have to beat me to it." I said, as Ellie walked towards us, no, strike that. As Ellie strutted towards us. She walked straight past Pete. She was either trying to play it cool, knowing he was there and walking past so he could see her ass, or genuinely didn't see him in the light. Pete pulled himself up onto the chair and jumped onto the one Christa was sitting on, sitting behind her and wrapping his arms around her, kissing her head. Boy, if Ellie looked around now...
"Hey guys. What's up?" She asked. She didn't just ask it, she purred it. You know, like those movies where you get those really pretty girls who can talk to pretty much any guy in that voice and they fall in love with her.
"Nothing." Patrick said, quickly walking away. He hid his face with his cup as he walked over to the table to refill it, having spilt most of it pointing at Ellie. I didn't know whether he was hiding his face to laugh, either. Joe was staring, his eyes practically popping out of his head. I was beyond embarrassed now. Ellie was just showing herself up, and what's more, she was showing Patrick up. This was his party, I'd told him earlier, a congratulations sort of thing for getting into the band. And now she was trying to steal the limelight away from him. Yeah, he doesn't like attention, but everyone else was more interested in themselves or the food to hover around Patrick all night. I looked around and noticed he was sitting on the vacant chair beside the besotted Christa and Pete, while Ethan crawled around by their feet. They were trying hard not to burst out laughing at something, and I thought I knew what.
I pulled Ellie aside.
"What the hell are you wearing?"
"Uh, hello? Clothes?"
"Oh, haha." I pretended to laugh and shook my head. "You look like a mini Anna Nicole Smith."
Ellie's eyes flickered, but she just threw her hair back and laughed.
"I guess I'll take that as a compliment."
"Um, no. That wasn't meant as a compliment. These guys are gonna think you're really stupid."
"Yeah, right." Ellie said, tossing the idea aside as if it were absurd.
"Alright, you want me to introduce you?"
"Definitely."
I prayed I wouldn't die of embarrassment as I guided her over to Joe. She teetered on her heels and I had another vision of her losing her footing and toppling into the pool. That would be classic. Yeah, I get it, I'm being mean again. OK, moving on...
"Ellie, this is Joe. Joe, this is Ellie. I told you earlier." I said to him. Ellie held out her hand and smiled.
"Nice to meet you."
I rolled my eyes as Joe shook her hand back, a grin spreading across his face.
"Hi there. Lovely to meet /you/."
"We'll be right back." I told him, and steered her in the direction of Pete and company.
"He was digging the outfit." Ellie said.
"Yeah, he also smokes pot." I told her, and leaned closer.
"Now don't fall head over heels in love. Here's Pete. And for the love of God, be nice to Christa."
"Pete, Christa, this is Ellie. Remember I told you about her before?"
"Ahh, the famous Ellie." Pete said, glancing at Patrick before he stood up. He shook her hand with a smile, and Ellie blushed. I had never seen her blush before. Ever.
"This is my girlfriend, Christa. And our baby - Ethan." He said, and Patrick snorted, his drink nearly coming out of his nose as Ellie ducked her head nervously when she shook Christa's hand. I noticed the smile creeping across Christa's face as Pete introduced Ethan as their baby. They really were sweet.
"I like your outfit, Ellie." He said, as she turned to look at him. He wasn't trying to be mean, or to make fun of her, but even if he had, she wouldn't have noticed.
"Thanks." She said, before shooting a look at me. I held up my hands in defeat and shrugged.
"I'll be back. My friends will be coming soon." Ellie said, turning to walk into the house.
"At 10 PM? Shouldn't they be in bed after their milk and cookies?" I asked. Give me a break, she was doing my nut in with the 'I'm so sexy, all your friends want me' attitude. Think of your little sister, or if you don't have one, think of having one. Dressed like she was older than you. And dressed as though she were going to get laid that night.
"Gotta go!" She said with a grin as the doorbell sounded throughout the house.
"Great. The friends are here." I said, sitting down next to Patrick and the others.
"He's cute." Patrick nodded towards Ethan, pulling on his shoe lace.
"Takes after his dad." Pete said, puffing his chest out. Wow, I'm surprised his head didn't puff out either.
"OK, there goes my shoe lace." Patrick said, as somehow Ethan managed to unravel it from his shoe. How was that? I could barely put the laces on a pair of new shoes and this kid can whip them off in seconds?
"Hey, boy... give Patrick back his shoe." Pete laughed, tugging the lace out of his grip and handing it back to Patrick.
"Sorry about that."
"No worries. He's a good kid." Patrick said, taking the lace and stuffing it in his pocket. "He's pretty quiet."
Christa and Pete threw their heads back and laughed loudly. Patrick and I looked at each other. Seriously, Patrick is not that funny.
"Quiet? Wait until you really know him." Christa said. Patrick allowed a huge grin to spread across his face. I knew it was because they were already thinking of the future - that he would be around enough to actually know Ethan. Patrick likes to be loyalty ridden. He loves to know there's stuff to come home to, or to look forward to. That's the difference between him and me.
"You guys want to go inside before the Playboy wannabes find us?" I asked them. They quickly nodded and gathered their drinks. And Ethan. Obviously. We bolted it up the stairs and hid in my bedroom. Not well enough. Stupid idea. I cursed myself. Of course, Ellie and her friends would go inside her bedroom and drool over the guys tacked to her wall. And the stupid pop band playing from her CD player as they re-did make up that needed no altering.
"That's him!" I heard Ellie whispered as my door closed due to Patrick kicking it as he tried to hide under the bed.
"And you're doing that, why?" Christa asked him. He wriggled back out and shrugged.
"I'm not entirely sure. She just really scares me."
"I swear, if they knock on the door I will just die." I said. Patrick was now lying on my bed, his shoes on my pillow as he looked at the ceiling, and Pete and Christa were sitting on the floor, still cuddling. Ethan toddled along my floor as Pete made himself at home and looked through my CDs, Patrick turned on his side to watch Ethan. Watching kids somehow made him laugh a lot. I have to say, I never thought I'd see the day when there was a little kid in my bedroom. Unless Patrick's newborn niece came in, or of Robyn had a baby of her own.
"My brother's wife just had a baby." Patrick said, reading my mind again. That kid is just full of surprises like that, expect more to come.
"Boy or girl?"
"Girl." Patrick said with a smile. "She's cute, but she's wrinkly."
Doesn't that just sound like something a five year old would say about their sister? Not a 17 year old talking about their niece. Actually, it was more something I would say, not exactly being the children type. Looking at Ethan made me uneasy, not that he was weird or anything. I'm just not good with kids and very aware of it.
"Uh, no. Boys are better than girls." Pete said with a laugh. Christa looked up at him, fake surprise on her face.
"Oh really, and what if we have a girl someday?"
"Of course I'd love her. 'Cause then she'd be just ours." Pete said, looking down at her fondly before planting a kiss on her forehead. She clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes in mock disgust, but laughed.
"So Ethan was like... three months old when you guys got together?" Patrick asked. They both nodded.
"All new and 'wrinkly' as you so put it." Pete laughed.
"How did you guys meet?" Patrick asked, rolling over onto his stomach.
"You tell 'em, baby." Pete said, looking around my room and catching my eye. He winked at me and mouthed 'I love her'.
He was a lot sweeter than he looked. Actually, a lot sweeter than people portrayed him to be.
"I was in Wal-Mart." Christa said.
"Ah, the place everyone goes to fall in love with a dark handsome stranger." I said.
They laughed and Christa continued.
"I was looking for baby food and I couldn't find it for the life of me. So then I had to ask this employee where it was, and when he looked at me I just melted."
"So I came up behind her and then I punched the guy's lights out." Pete added.
"He didn't really." Christa said, taking a drink as we laughed. "No, this dark handsome stranger was the one who worked there. The extremely handsome employee."
"Love's young dream." Patrick said to me, nodding in their direction.
"Sounds like it." I said. "So what happened next?"
Patrick and I must have sounded like two grandchildren asking their grandparents how they'd met, or how the war went.
"Well, he told me Ethan was very cute, and that his sister had recently had a baby boy."
Pete nodded proudly.
"Not only Daddy Peter. Uncle Peter as well."
"Well, we just chatted about babies for a while and it didn't take him long to ask me out."
"And then it didn't take her long to fall in love with me." Pete added.
"I think that's the most romantic Wal-Mart story I've ever heard." Patrick said, feigning adoration and jealousy as he rolled onto his back and clutched at his chest, one hand on his head.
"Oh, where art my Juliet?"

Back home, Pete and Christa seemed to be baby making maniacs. Except, not literally making babies. Yet. Insert evil laugh here. Anyways, when they were at home Pete took her in his arms and pulled her close.
"I really love you, you know that, right?"
"I do. And I love you. Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz the third." She giggled, running her finger up his chest. He wiggled his eyebrows seductively and pointed with his thumb upstairs.
"Let's put Ethan to bed and then we can go to bed ourselves." He whispered, with a wink, turning to run up the stairs.
They quickly undressed each other as they kissed, the only sound their lips parting and meeting each time they did. Pete lowered Christa onto the bed and worked his way inside her for a good few minutes, letting moans escape his lips frequently as he caressed her lips and her body. Soon, there was an explosion that sent both of them reeling and they lay back, smiles spreading over their faces.
"Well, that I could do all night."