FicWad

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It's in Gerard's POV. I hope you like it, it made me cry writting it but that's just me. Please review if you love/hate it. It would make my day! =]

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I drive as fast as physically possible praying to God I was headed in the right direction for the hospital. If I had a warp speed button I would be hitting it right now. My knuckles are white as they grip the steering wheel. I barely notice the sharp intakes of breath that Frank is taking every time we take a particularly fast corner or narrowly miss another car.

I don't really want him with me but he'd been in the car when I got the call. I'd just turned the car around and headed straight towards the hospital, towards you. I hear a horn blare as an oncoming car has to swerve dangerously to avoid me. I'm sorry. I think, pushing the thoughts towards the people in the car as if they could somehow receiver the words telepathically.

"Is this Gerard Way?"
"Yes that's me." Uncertainty racking my voice as I wait for the lights to chance so me and Frank could finally get home and finish writing that song, the one I've been writing for you.
"I'm from the hospital. I'm afraid there's been quite a serious incident. Your fiancé has been admitted to us, I highly recommend that you get down here. As soon as you can."

As soon as you can.
As soon as you can.
As soon as you can.
As soon as you can.
The words repeat over and over in my head like the clickety-clack of train wheels or the mantra of someone who knows they are about to face death. Oh lord please don't die.

"Gerard maybe I should drive." Frank suggests tentatively from the passenger seat. I'm tapping my hand impatiently on the wheel as we wait at a round-a-bout. I sneak a look at him. His brow is furrowed, concern and the traces of fear are evident in his eyes. She was my fiancée but she was his friend too. I think to myself. You have to be Ok. "There's no time to swap." I reply, pulling away and taking a right at the round-a-bout. We are only a few streets away from the hospital now.
I'm nearly with you. Hold on.
An ambulance passes us, sirens blaring, driving forwards with an urgency to match mine. Did you go in an ambulance? Was it scary? Did you feel alone? I should have been with you.

We're pulling into the car park now. I pull up near the main doors, not caring that it's on double yellows. I just need to know you're Ok. I need to see your face, you're sparkling green eyes. I need to be made to look an idiot for getting so worked up about this. Please don't die, not now, not like this.I dash through the doors, startling an old woman. I don't stop to help her, maybe I'll regret that later. Who knows? I need to see you. I need to hear you say you love me. I need to tell you I love you. I need you.

"Are you Gerard?" A young looking doctor with old eyes asks me. He is wearing white hospital coat and is carrying a clipboard.
"Yeah that's me." I say. Where is she where is she where is she?
"If you follow me I'll explain on the way." I follow him, my mind numb and worrying that I won't be able to take in anything that he's going to say. Wait for me, I'm almost there, it'll all be Ok.
"I'm afraid Miss Hathaway was involved in a very serious attack." Attack? Some one did this to you? I'll kill them, I swear to you I will.
"What- What hap...?" My voice chokes on itself and I feel my knees start to go weak as the panic I'd been trying to keep at bay starts to seep in, closing around my heart.
"She was stabbed. Three times in the lower abdomen, twice in the arm and one in her chest. It seems she was in the wrong place at the wrong time." Wrong place at the wrong time? How could this happen? Holy sh*t. My baby girl. Hold on. I love you. I'll be there soon. Hold on.
"Is she... is she dying?" I ask taking a gasp of air. The pause from the other end speaks for itself and I turn my back, we're in a lift now, I would rather be running up flight after flight of stairs. At least then it would feel like I'm doing something.
"There is still hope but she has lost a lot of blood. When I left to meet you they still hadn't managed to stop it all. Two of the knife wounds hit major organs. They alone would be serious injuries without everything else."
"Is she going to die?" I ask again, I can feel the tears coming and I have an embarrassing urge to collapse on the doctor's shoulder. The lift doors open before he can answer and we exit the metal box. I suddenly find I don't want to go on. I don't think I could stand seeing you so weak and frail, but I promised. I'm here baby I'm here.

The doctor has stopped now and is in whispered conversation with a nurse. They both look distressed. They don't notice me slip into the room where I can see you now, lying peacefully on a bed, without formal permission. I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. I rush to your side, holding your hand, stroking the hair out of your face. You're warm, but still, oh so still. Too still.
Then I notice the silence. The many machines you're linked to are still, deadly still. There is no constant electronic beat echoing your heart. No amplified breaths through an oxygen mask that is lying discarded on a tray.
Silence.
"I'm here. I'm here. Please please please... I'm here... I'm....I'm sorry..."
"I'm afraid you were too late. She's gone." A nurse is saying putting a sympathetic hand on my shoulder as I dissolve into sobs. I realise that I'd left Frank behind and I was all alone now in this silent world of flat lines and wires.

I'm here, I'm here... I'm here