FicWad

They were supposed to have sung the song. And until Joe and Steven had had their big fall out, they would have. But now the song had another meaning for Steven and he couldn't perform it without Joe on his mind. It hurt, they had something special and Steven had pissed it away by not dropping an issue. He didn't have to go on about how the take was messed up, how some one hadn't done their homework. He could have stopped, but he persisted. He persisted, and now he had nothing but a broken heart to show for it. He couldn't go on and sing the song; there was no way he could. He'd lose it if he had to sing that song. It may be filled with an emotion edge it needed, but he wasn't about to lose his mind over giving a song a voice. He had to call the production and tell them he couldn't sing the song. They'd ask why, so he'd tell them he was sick and needed to save his voice for the tour. It wasn't that much of a stretch; he was sick, sick of love. As he called the production he took a deep breath in.
When they answered he told them the sad news that Aerosmith wouldn't be able to sing the song they needed for the movie. The production manager said he understood, and it'd be a big loss they'd have to fill but he made sure to tell Steven he hoped he felt better.
Steven didn't like this one bit, he felt helpless, and there was nothing he could do. The one person he looked to for comfort was now at opposite ends as him. This was madness, he thought standing up and pacing the room. He'd lost Joe, no he thought, he couldn't lose him not like this. Any other way but not like this, he thought, not over a band fight. There was probably a lot they had to talk over, but how would he know if Joe wanted to speak to him? He'd been pretty mad at rehearsal, and had left as soon as he was given the opportunity. What if he doesn't want to work this out, Steven thought. Fear raced into his mind at that thought. He hoped it would never come to that. He didn't think his heart could take that. Sure a break was a possibility, but being over was final. No chance of ever returning to what they'd shared. He dropped down on the bed head in his hands. He needed a good cry, right now there was a lot to cry about, but he didn't have anything to spark it. He really needed this release so he reached over to his nightstand and hit play on the radio. Inside he knew was the demo tape of them recording the song for the movie he had just turned down. As it started he sang along with it, and began to get the release he needed.
"I thought you'd be out of my mind
And I'd finally found a way to
Learn to live without you
I thought it was just a matter of time
Till I had a hundred reasons
Not to think about you
But it's just not so
And after all this time
I still can't let go
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me"

Around the time he'd gotten past the chorus he was in tears, and the lyrics came out in gurgles instead. He rolled over on his side, gazing out the window. He needed this, he knew he did but it hurt just as much as it made him feel better. He moaned slightly as the song continued. He couldn't hear this, it hurt with every word he heard himself sing. Only then he'd been happy, now he actually had a reason to be singing that song. Pulling the pillow over his head he tried to block out the song. Although it was giving him a release, it tore him up more than it helped mend his heart. But no matter how hard he tried to block out the song it still came through the pillow and entered his head.

I was trying everything that I can
To get my heart to forget you
But it just can't seem to
I guess it's just no use
In every part of me
Is still a part of you

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me

I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart

Once he heard the painted on my heart line the third time, he grew sick of it and hit the off button. He couldn't stand it. It hurt too much to be thinking about this now. Hell it was just a fight, he was blowing things out of proportion and making himself go crazy, he thought wiping away his tears. He just needed to relax, and breathe. They'd sort this thing out when he saw Joe at rehearsal. He looked over to the nightstand and saw the picture of him and Joe on the boat. They held each other lovingly arms wrapped snuggly around the waist, their heads were cocked slightly to face the camera, but they kept their eyes on each other. That picture held so many memories, but right now he couldn't think of them. He grabbed the picture and just looked at it. Going over every detail, from what color clothes they were wearing to how Joe's hair fell framing his face. He took in the surroundings that were in the picture and most importantly he looked into Joe's eyes. How warm and inviting they were.

Something in your eyes keeps haunting me
I'm trying to escape you
And I know there ain't no way to
To chase you from my mind

As he looked at the picture staring into Joe's eyes he began to sing the song. At first he started softly just above a whisper, as if he was singing to the picture. Seeing on how bent out of shape he felt right then it wouldn't be too off to say he was probably singing to the picture. But with each word he got a little louder, he poured his heart and soul in to the song. More so now than ever did he put in emotion, because now there was something fueling the song. He was using his uncertainty of his current situation as fuel. He had no idea how things between Joe and him would turn out, and that scared him right now. The only thing he could do about it right now was to sing so he sang his heart out. Fueling each word with his hurt and emotions he felt at the moment.
"I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me, baby

I've still got your face
I've still got your face
painted on my heart
painted on my heart
painted on my heart"
Joe was going to be hard to get over if they were in fact over. Steven was sure of it, because the truth is he was painted on his heart.