Categories > Original > Drama > Pocket Change

hesitation's always mine

by noisee 0 reviews

A starlit conversation.

Category: Drama - Rating: R - Genres: Drama, Fantasy, Romance - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2007-07-17 - Updated: 2007-07-17 - 772 words

0Unrated
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Pocket Change

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[05: /hesitation's always mine/]

Elysia is enjoying the free drinks, her ice-blue eyes sparkling with excitement as she bests opponent after opponent in the drinking contest. She offered a date with the winner, so of course people are lining up; she's just drinking them under the table one after another. Joss can't see Chale or Takeo. She ensures that Edson is happy- and he's grinning ear to ear while Grady and Scott congratulate him, so he must be happy- before she makes her escape from the raucous festivities. She heads for the roof, her starlit reprieve.

Sitting on the edge and looking at the moon is Takeo. She sits herself beside him; their legs dangle feet upon feet above the ground. The wind is slight but cool. She is thankful for her sweater; Meager as it may seem, it's more protection than she could have ever hoped to have before she stumbled into Ollis Inn.

"Do you think I'm fucked up, Jay?"

He stares at the stars, and she does, too.

"We're all fucked up, Tak's."

He sighs.

"Sometimes, when I look at you, I think of Fiorel. I want you to get married and be safe with someone like Edson- a good guy." She looks at him, and he lowers his gaze. "I'm not like Ed."

"I'm not engaged to Ed."

She stares back up at the stars. It's a beautiful night.

"This is probably the closest I'll ever come to settling down, you know. A marriage with a nice guy like Eddie? That's white picket fences and shit." She shakes her head. "Not my scene."

"I want you to be happy," he says, watching her.

She grins, eyes on the skies. "I am happy."

"I want you to be safe," he says, quiet.

She looks at him with a rueful smile. Powerful as he may be, he can't protect her forever. Damned if he won't try; there are just too many dangers between them, too many remnants of broken pasts.

"I'm... happy, Takeo," she replies.

They turn their attention to the night. He puts his hand on hers and squeezes it. She threads her fingers through his and squeezes back.


He can see them. He can see them talk, and he can see them holding hands.

As if his fucking day couldn't get any worse. Chale has by no means been any kind of monogamous man, and it's only fair that Joss has the same freedom, but he's selfish in her case. Fiorel's a good lay, and he has no problems with her promiscuous nature because theirs is a physical relationship, no strings attached- and she always comes back to him, anyway. Joss is Joss, his best friend and his girl. She can't be promiscuous, and especially not with Takeo.

No matter what he says, Takeo will taint her. And then he'll break her heart.

Chale doesn't want any part of Joss broken.

Well, shit.

He lights a cigarette and leans against a tree, looking anywhere but up. This time, Fiorel's not coming back. He's worried that neither will Joss. He's hurt her before, and he regrets it. He'll be laughing with her one moment and in a closet with Fiorel the next. He's eighteen. He's an idiot. He thinks with his pants and he hurts Joss' feelings. He knows all this and sinks further into his pit of depression.

You're an asshole, he tells himself, and you deserve every second of this.

He looks up. He notices that she's let her hair down, and it frames her face and curls just a bit beneath her chin. Big, slightly almond-shaped eyes are almost hidden beneath dark bangs. She's smiling her smile, the kind of content curve of her lips distracting most from the almost sad darkening of her eyes. After so many years and days and smiles, he has the image of each one burned in his memory. It pains him to realize just what her smile hides, and he repeats his earlier sentiment, telling himself that he deserves every second of this pain, but he frowns.

Joss doesn't.

He takes a long drag, thinks about tomorrow. He's going to take Joss out for ice cream, and he'll treat Edson to dinner. To celebrate. He wants to be happy for Edson- he's such a shy guy, but he's had a raging crush on Fiorel for the longest time. Chale fooled around with her, but it didn't mean anything.

That's what he tells himself.

He snuffs his cigarette and watches Joss stare at the stares. He's going to get her a triple scoop, and he's going to apologize to Edson.
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