FicWad

Inside an extremely steamy shower were two people, one of which was Peter and the other still remained anonymous. Obviously, it didn't help that the steam prevented Peter from seeing whoever was in the shower with him but it didn't matter all that much because they were rather good at -

They began to say something but Peter crashed his lips against theirs, preventing them from saying whatever they had wanted to say.

All of the sudden they caught Peter by surprise by resisting, something he was not used to. He gripped their arms, attempting to -

"For fuck's sake Pete! Get the hell off of me!" A short man wearing only a trucker hat and a pair of boxers yelled, swatting his friend in an attempt to free himself from the death grip.

Peter jumped back, startled to have found himself wrapped around Patrick Stump. His eyes widened as his dream flashed through his head and he ran to the bathroom of their hotel room, locking the door behind him.

From behind the door he could hear voices.

"Yes, he was sleep walking again..." Patrick was saying.

"Where is he now?" Andy asked in reply.

"Bathroom, I think he's locked himself in. Should we...?"

"He's probably just brushing his teeth," Joe interjected.

Patrick and Andy sighed loudly and continued talking. Peter pressed his ear harder up against the door, trying to hear their conversation. Their voices grew quieter and quieter and he assumed they were moving around the hotel room. He could only hear tiny snippets of their conversation.

"Peter ... Peter ... Peter ... Peter ... Peter ... Peter ... Peter ..." Pete pulled his ear away from the door. Even if they were talking about him, there are only so many times you can mention someone's name in the time space of thirty seconds and still have a flowing conversation that makes perfect sense.

And then Peter realised that behind him, there was a blinding light. He turned around and tried desperately not to look directly at it but something about the light attracted his gaze and he found himself helpless.

"Peter..." the voice seemed to be coming from the light. It sounded all dreamy and mystical and it made Peter want to go to sleep. "Peter..." Peter grinned at the light stupidly, thinking of unicorns and ponies and a place called Candy Mountain. "For the love of God, Peter, listen to me! Thank you. Ahem... Peter... you've been chosen... you are the Chosen One... you have been -"

"Sorry for interrupting but, I though Harry Potter was the 'Chosen One'?"

"Yeah well Harry fucked up and now he's six feet under or sky high, whichever makes you happier," the light said, its voice now extremely deep and manly. "Anyway... Peter... you have been blessed with a wonderful mission..."

"Does it involve Patrick?"

"Yes." Peter grimaced, remembering his dream. "But not in the way you're thinking." The light added and Peter sighed happily. "However... this mission does have great relevance to your dream... you're mission is to..."

"Does it involve a chick?"

"Yes. You're mission is to..."

"My mission is to...?"

"Is to..."

"Is it...?"

"Yes, you're mission is to..."

"Oh my gosh, it's to..."

"You're mission is to save the world from the clutches of an evil sorceress," the light finally said.

"Aw man, I thought you were gonna say fuck a chick," Peter groaned. "You said it involves a chick."

"Well, all missions to save the world involve a chick idiot." The light cleared its throat. "You must find this 'chick' so she can help you complete the mission. Your prophecy will guide you... The one with the power to drench the Flaming Balls approaches... born to those who have thrice defied them, born as the seventh month dies... and the Flaming Balls will mark him as their equal, but he will have power the Flaming Balls know not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... the one with the power to drench the Flaming Balls will be born as the seventh month dies..."

"What the fuck? I am not born in July," Peter stated, raising an eyebrow. "What the fuck are you on?"

"Don't arguing with the fucking prophecy, asshole!" The light growled in its manly voice again. "As I was saying, your prophecy will guide you on the road to success. As will these apparatus."

An awful retching noise filled the room and Peter flinched automatically. Suddenly, objects began to fly out of the light as if it were coughing them up. A wand. An Invisibility Cloak. A book of spells. A dress robe and other items flew at Peter.

"And now... I have given you as much help as was possible," the light said and then it faded out.

Grabbing the bundle of things into his arms, Peter unlocked the door and stepped out of the bathroom. Patrick, Andy and Joe all looked up when they heard him leave the bathroom.

"See," Joe said triumphantly, "I told you that he wasn't slitting his wrists!"

Ignoring Joe's comment Patrick asked, "What you got there Pete?"

"Stuff."

"I didn't know that we had those in the bathroom," Patrick stated.

"I got them from the ball of white, blinding light I was talking to," Peter smiled when Patrick raised an eyebrow in confusion.



Author's Note: I'm so sorry. Someone had to do it. There were so little crossovers in this section. I needed to... and that poster on Google did nothing to help.

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