FicWad

Since they (my foster parents) gave me this stupid thing, I guess I'll write in it. To appease them. My name is Sarah, a nice, plain, Christian name. I'm just plain, unnoticable Sarah. That's all I'll ever be.

I can't believe this. I write this now with shaking hands...My life has been reduced to painkillers and sleeping pills. And booze. I need the painkillers to bury the physical pain everything puts me through, and the sleeping pills to make it through the night semi-peacefully. The booze..to forget. Simply to forget.

It was my fault...
Oh, God...My boyfriend was talking to me on the phone, and he was telling me that he couldn't take life anymore...And then he said he had a gun to his head...So I was pleading with him...And then...The line...Went dead...I got lucky...The gun had a blank in it...It wouldn't work and I called, left a message...I pleaded for someone to call back...Anyone...I thought I lost another one...And it was my fault...

/I was at school today...and some of my classmates saw a rainbow on my pants. So one of 'em goes 'Are you, like, gay or something?' And when I denied it, they were like, 'Yea, yea. We know you are. And that's horrible. You shouldn't be...'/

So what happens when you meet someone, and your friends get bad vibes? What do you do if you're scared, and confused? What if you remember the last time you trusted someone, and you just got hurt in the end? What do you do if, despite your best efforts, you're falling for him, hard and fast? What do you do when your world as you know it crashing and burning to the ground? What do you do when you trust your instincts, nothing more and nothing less, and you can't figure out what they're saying? What do you do then?

/You know what? Forget this. I'm outta here. I'm gonna start a new life. I won't live anywhere too long, always on the move./

I'm cut and run from now on. That's what I do, it's who I am. My name is Rawnie, now. I gave myself this name after I researched my parents. It's all I have left of them, who were Romany. Gypsy being the taboo term. I cut and run, because it's all I know, sice I ran away. Nothing and no one is sacred anymore. I settle down for a bit, then leave. I make ties, and sometimes I don't. Either way, I break it off.
So...Goodbye.





Hope you guys liked it. Reviews are appreciated!
~Hellsings_Spawn