FicWad

I woke up about 4 hours later. It was dark outside, as well as in the room. I stumbled my way around looking for a light swtich. I found it and turned it on. I gathered my clothes, put them on and headed upstairs. I looked around, Gerard still wasn't back yet. It made me wonder, what could be eating at him this time.I saw at note on the fridge. It was from Ji.
B,
Me and the guys went out for dinner and a movie.
We'll be back late tonight. Don't wait up.
Love you
Ji.

I sighed heavily, and slumped down in to one of the dining room chairs. I was staring out the window at the waves crashing on the shore. I was thinking over what happened earlier in the basement, and it got me down. It wasn't right. He didn't mean it, and it was just another fuck to him. God damn me and my stupidity. When will I ever learn? Just then Gerard came in the house, glanced at me then headed straight for the basement. "Gerard." I said.
"Bi, not now, I don't need your interrogation." He said going down the stairs and slamming the door behind him.

"God damn you Gerard. I wasn't going to interrogate you. I just wanted answers. Sweet short simple answers. Nothing needed explaining. If he wanted a fuck buddy that was cool, if he wanted a relationship, that was better. But I don't care as long as I have you one way or another." I thought to myself. I got up and headed up the stairs towards my room. It was one of the biggest rooms in the house and I loved it. Jericho was sleeping all stretched out on the bed, he was so adorable. He heard me come in and his head perked up. I layed on the bed next to him. "Ah, Jericho. What am I going to do? I fell in love with a guy who doesn't want anything to do with me. Is that so horrible?" I asked him nuzzling my face in his fur. He licked my face, and I giggled. I got up and grabbed a towel and some clothes, and headed towards the bathroom that connected me and Ji's room. I put my stuff on the sink, and looked at myself in the mirror. My makeup was smudged and all over my face. My hair was a mess, and looked like I just came inside, after facing a Hurricane. I sighed and turned to the bathtub. I turned on the hot water, and then the cold, and waited for it to be the perfect temperature. I stripped my clothing, and then got in. I let the water wash away the dirty feeling that I was feeling the moment Gerard rushed out of his room. I pouted, realizing I was thinking about him again. I really had to stop doing that. It was annoying. He didn't want me, get that through your head.

There was a knock on the door, as soon as I shut the water off. "Yeah, what's up?" I said through the door.
"I was wondering if I could talk to you Bi. About earlier." It was Gerard.
"What about it?" I asked wrapping the towel around myself and opening the door. "I think you made it clear earlier that you didn't want me and what we did was a mistake."
"It wasn't a mistake, I was afraid that," He took a deep breath. "I was afraid of what I was feeling. I know that Amiee made me feel wonderful, but you, you make me feel so much different, and I think what I'm trying to say is that I need you." He looked down at the floor. And I took his chin into my hand and lifted his face.
"Gerard. I don't know what to say..-"
"Say you'll be mine." He interrupted.
He stared at me for a few minutes, and I stared back. I was wanting and aching for him so bad again. I don't know why I couldn't control this feeling I had for him. He was everything I wanted, more than what I wanted. I just don't know if I could be what he wanted. Or needed. It was too much of a risk, and I just wasn't ready to take that leap.
"Oh honey, you know I can't." I said with sadness in my voice.