FicWad

It had been two days since Kylie told me where that son of a bitch was. I had barely any plan but it was now or never. I Left early in the morning, telling the guys that if I didn't come home, it was their job to take care of Kylie, and my kid. They promised but still wouldn't let me leave, I ended up climbing out a window. I went to a store a few miles into the neiborhood Kylie had lived in a purchased a gun, it felt heavier in my hands then it was supposed to, but I had my mind made up, I couldn't go back on it now. I delayed as much as I could, stopping for food, window shopping to fight off my second thoughts.
I finally pulled up to a house just a block away from Kylies and walked the rest of the way, walking around the back. I snuck up imto the yard and looked into the back window. She was there. Kylie and Toby, arms wrapped around each other. They kissed and my stomach turned. After all I was going to go through to protect her, she left the first chance that she had gotten. She came back to him. So I left her there, and I returned home. They guys tried to talk to me, all they got was the fact that Kylie was gone and that I hadn't shot anyone.
I went up to my bedroom and threw myself onto my mattress. I felt sick, and helpless. I wanted her, and my unborn son or daughter, I wanted my family. Tears rolled down my cheeks, I did nothing to stop them. My sheets still smelled like her, and I fell asleep wishing her scent would never fade.
I woke up to screams at my door. "PETE!" Joe was pounding on my door. I got out of bed and opened the door.
"Whats wrong?" I knew it was about her, just by the facial expression on his face.
"She's downstairs, You need to talk to her, something happened when she went over there." His voice lowered to a whisper.
"Why should I care that she's here? It's like she's teasing me, she'll only go back to him!" I said bitterly.
"Pete, she's not going to go back." He whispered again.
"And how the hell do you know that? She did the last time, after all that I did for her! She kept going back!" I was yelling.
He pushed me against the wall and it shut me up as well as caught me off gaurd.
"Shut the fuck up" He said through clenched teeth. "She can't go back, He's dead Pete. She killed him. She still has to go to a trial but the cops said she could get off with a self defence plea."
He let me go as I started to calm down. "The cops brought her here?"
He nodded. "She told them she lived here now, they brought her here from the hospital... Look theres something else you should now."
I think my heart acctually dropped to my stomach at that point, as soon as those words slipped from his mouth. "What else could there be, she's okay right, you said she was right downstairs." I felt tears brimming my eyes, slipping out and giving me away. I knew what this was about.
"He beat her up pretty bad." He whispered, wanting to do something to make this less painful but he knew it was impossible. "They took her to the hospital as soon as they found her, she was there almost all day and night..But.. Pete.." His voice got even lower, I had to almost strain to hear him. "They couldn't save your daughter..." I slid down the wall till I was sitting on the floor, tears dripping onto the carpet. Joe stood there, not quite sure what he wanted to do.
"Go..I'll be down in a few." I managed to croak out. I had had a daughter. For such a short amount of time I had everything I could have wanted. Someone to love and be loved by and a kid on the way. Now I lost one and I wasn't sure about the other.
After about an hour of tears and punching my walls I stumbled down the stairs, she was sitting on in a chair by my fireplace, talking to Andy, who seemed to be the only other person in the room.
"Where's everone else?" I asked in a low whisper from the bottom of the stairs.
"They went home, I should go to." He mumbled standing up, smiling weakly at Kylie and I. He grabed the bags that I assumed to be his own at the door and left, seconds later I heard his car pull out of the driveway.
She looked up at me her eyes glittered with tears. She still had her hospital bracelet on and she was shaking. She was scared. "I love you." I whispered, tears gushing all over again. She got up and came towards me throwing her arms around me. I held her so close, but softly afraid that at any moment she could break.
"I-I love you to." She mumbled, she sounded so weak, so lonely, and volnerable.
We made it back up to my bedroom, laying on the bed, not really talking about anything that important, then she decided that she was ready to tell me what happened. I waited quietly until she spoke.
"I found out that you left and conviced Andy to give me his keys. I knew I had to go back there and stop you. I got there before you did I assume. He was there, I just walked in and he acted so happy to see me. For awhile he just held me and Kissed me, but it just made me feel sick, I wanted you." I listened intently. She was so brave, she hadn't shed a tear, just looked into my eyes and told me everything. "He wanted me to sleep with him...but I refused, thats when he started beating me. I was scared, I tried to protect my stomach, so thats where he targeted next. He kept kicking me..." She paused looking away for a moment before continuing. "It was late, when he decided to head to, to get a drink, he left me on the floor, it took me a few tries, but I managed to crawl off the floor and grabbed the phone. I called the cops and as I was hanging up when he came home, I managed to get to the kitchen, he was screaming, he thought I just called you... I felt around in the sink and grabbed a knife, when he came into the kitchen." She stopped there, and that was all I really needed to know, I could fill in the rest from there.
We lay all night, in each others arms, drifting in and out of sleep.
Over the next few months Kylie's trial took place, She was represented by a lawyer friend of mine that got her off with the self defence easily. She moved in with me, and planned to go with me when Fall Out Boys tour started up next month.
I still lay up some nights wondering how good of a father I would be. A daughter... She would have been beautiful.
Eventully I made up my mind to talk to Kylie.I wanted a kid, I wanted to have a choice this time, and I wanted to be able to have my chance at happiness.
I woke up that morning, heart and mind set. The tour started in exactly two weeks so we were running around, getting ready and visiting family before we had to pack and leave. I ended up running to diffrent places with Andy when I told him what I planned to talk to Kylie about.
"Should't you ask her to marry you first?" He seemed to understand what I wanted, but still looked at me confused. Funny, the thought had never crossed my mind, and it made me nervous as hell.
"Do I have to?" I asked him dumbly.
"That's the ideal order, I suppose it's not set in stone or anything. What do you think she'll want to do?" Andy had a point. Dammit, I hated his points.