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I loosened up my tie the second I got into the car. The worst part of the day had been over. I didn't hate churches or anything I just wasn't the religious type.

Today was Grandma Elena's fourth anniversary. It didn't get any easier; I missed her more and more every day. I sighed as I pulled out of the cemetery parking lot, I thought of the last day I had spent with her. I was stoned and pretty drunk. She had given out to me and called me a 'disappointment'. I lost my temper and walked out and boy do I regret doing that. One week after that encounter she passed away while we were on tour. It tore me apart to know that I had never gotten to apologise or tell her I loved her.

I had stayed at her graveside for well over an hour. Lou and Bob had taken Lena back to mine after they realized I was probably going to stay a while. Eliza had gone to her mom's for a few days. She was getting bigger and fuck lot moodier. It didn't help that the media had found out Lena was mine. They knew everything, except that Jam was in prison. As for that they thought she was killed in a car crash when Lena was a baby. Sometimes when I went to get Lena form school fan chicks would be there and the media. Motherfucking ass holes should mind their own business.

I lay my keys and jacket on the sofa. Lou and Bob were asleep in each other's arms. I smiled to myself, they had both gone threw so much shit in their lives and now they were finally happy in life.

I picked up the remote to switch of the TV. "Don't even dare turn off the TV!" Lou mumbled glaring at me.

"You can't seriously be watch sports at this time!" I whispered.

"Coarse I'm not! I'm listening to it!" she smiled. "New York Jets 8 - Chicago Bears 4. I support the Jets just to spite Bob!"

I hit her playfully on her arm. "That's not very nice!"

She grinned "I know but hey I'm supporting Jersey just for you."

"New York Jets are from Jersey?" I asked totally clueless. I knew nothing about sports neither did the rest of the guys. Lou grew up with a dad and brother that loved sports.

"Well kinda. See it's basically New York-Northern New Jersey-Long Island, NY-NJ-PA Metropolitan Statistical Area-"

"Wow there! I'm sorry I asked." I said already confused at the information. "God Lou you're more of a dude than I am!"

"True," She agreed, ""I even have more balls than you!"

""Jenna-Louise Bryar are you trying to tell me you are secretly a man? And Robert here doesn't know?"

"Oh hell Robert knows! He loves it up the arse." We burst out laughing causing Bob to wake up.

"Whose Robert and he loves what now?" he asked sleepily.

"This guy that has a thing for Frank. Pity he is getting married to Jamia they would have made a great couple."

He nodded at Lou's response and glanced at the TV. "You think would, you know, do stuff with this Robert dude?"

I took a seat. "Well he was Frank's first kiss. So we don't really know."

He nodded. "I'm going back to sleep. Try not to wake me." He closed his eyes. Lou started giggling then Bob shot up nearly casing her to fall to the ground. "Wait I was Frank's firs kiss. But.." he looked at Lou who was splitting her sides laughing at him. "Oh you fucktards." He also mumbled something about us being asses and bitches.

"Hey!" Lou said throwing a cushion at him.

"I'm sorry hon." He replied kissing her forehead lightly.

"What about me?" I asked making kissy faces. I felt the full force of a cushion to my head.

"Don't push your luck Way."

As I made my way to the door I kept making kissy faces and Bob kept throwing cushions. Somehow I dodged all of them. "Bob my room ten minutes." I winked. This time I got his runner to my head.

"Motherfucking bitch." I grumbled.

"Keep going or you'll get the other one two." He threatened.

Funny how I was getting bossed around in my home by one of my best friends. I slammed the door shut seconds before the second runner was fired at me.

I rubbed the small bump on my head as I walked into Lena's room. Pulling the cover up over her shoulders I kissed her head. I remember the day I found out about her. Well the first time, not the second.

Flash Back

"Hey what are you doing here?" Jam asked in a tone of surprise.

"Do you not want me here or something?" I grumbled closing the cab door.

"I do. Just really surprised you're here."

I didn't reply I just stared out the window at the late morning traffic heading to the airport. Several times Jam tried making conversation but failed as I was in a rotten mood. At the airport I took her luggage out of the trunk.

"Seriously G why are you here?" she asked. Her facial expression made it clear that she wanted an answer. I told her one, which wasn't a lie or the truth.

"I wanted to see you off."

"Bull-fucking-shit. Don't give me that shit. Just tell me you fecking eejet." She snapped.

I calmed myself down a little before speaking. "I just told you-"

"That's fucking crap Gerard. The last time you wanted to speak to me alone was the day after we fucked to make sure I told no about it. So tell me why the hell are you here?"

"I HAD A FUCKING FIGHT WITH KAROLYN I WANTED TO GET AWAY! OKAY?!"

"GO THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

by now 90% of the people in the airport had stopped to watch us argue. A security dude came over and told us we'd 'have to keep the fight quite or get out.' We opted to shut up and glare at each other. I received the dirtiest look ever off her. "Look I'm sorry I just felt guilty about cheating on Karolyn."

"I don't care anymore." She replied queuing into the security checkpoint thingy.

"What the hell is with you? You've acted like you've had a pole up your butt for the past month to everyone!" I could feel the anger building up inside me.

"Yeah well you would to if you were knocked up!" she nearly screamed. My jaw dropped. "Oh fuck don't list to me."

"But you..And I was .." see Jam was a virgin until the night we got pissed and slept together. "You're having my baby?" I let the sentence slip out before I could think of how to phrase it. She didn't answer. I looked into her eyes and I could tell she was pregnant. "Stay with me."

"Please don't do this G please don't." her eyes watered.

"You can stay with me. Be family. We can make it work." I told hopeful.

"No." she replied whipping a couple of tears off her face.

"Please. It's mine to. I have a sa-" I begged and she interrupted me.

"I'm not staying with you. I don't want to be involved in your drug taking or drinking binges. And according to everyone you've always been like that and I don't want to deal with it."

Silence fell upon us. It was clear I couldn't defend myself because her accusations were very, very true.

"When I get home I'm flying to England to get an abortion." Tears followed her words but this time she didn't bother to brush them away. She handed in her passport and walked threw the crowds. I darted after her yelling her name. Just as I caught up with her I was surrounded my airport cops. I remember thinking 'Great now I'm gonna have to run from these guys.'

End Of Flash Back

"Eh hello in there! Come on Sleepy get the hell up!" I opened my eyes to see Lou standing over me. "Gerard don't make me get Frank in here!"

"I'm up. I'm up!" I said, quickly jumping out of bed. She gave me the thank-you-motherfucker smile. "Why is Frank here?"

"To bring you guys to the airport. Duh!"

I scratched my head. What the hell was she on about? I don't remember having to fly anywhere today.

"Oh god. She hasn't called you has she?"

I eyed her suspiciously."Who?"

"Stacey. Get your cell quick and her."

I raced into the lounge looking for it but found Bob, Frank and Lena. After running around the house like a mad man I eventually discovered it in the bathroom. God only knows how it got there. There were about seventeen missed calls from Stacey and about the same number of voicemails to go with it. Dialling her number I wondered what's up.

"Stacey Fass."

"Hey Stac. It's Gerard-"

As soon as I said my name she interrupted me. "Were the hell have you been? There is such thing as picking up the phone. "

"You sound like my mom." I laughed.

"This isn't funny it's about Jenevieve."

Instantly I stopped laughing. "What's wrong? Is she okay? Stacey please tell me what the fuck is going on. Lena needs her."

"Gerard she's ...she's.."


{{A/N: sorry its been a long time! Lost me notes and had to rewrite this =[ ! so yeah only one review on the last chapter? Is it that bad?! }}