FicWad

The next few days passed in a blur. The only time I saw Gerard was when people surrounded him. When he would see me he would smile. It was the same fucking smile he gave everyone. It was the smile he had perfected for the public. The smile that belonged to Gerard Way, lead singer. Sometimes I hated watching the show he put on for everyone and I wondered why no one could see he was acting. Not that this sweet, friendly man wasn't part of Gerard, it was. It just bothered me that he kept so much of himself hidden.
It was Wednesday morning when Eve met back up with the tour. The busses had just rolled into the venue when I saw her hop out of a black Mercedes. I was walking across the lot to the arena but stopped to watch her climb the steps of the My Chem bus. My mind was in turmoil. Maybe Gerard had changed his mind as was still planning on marrying her. Would he even bother to tell me if he had? I pushed those thoughts out of my head and made myself concentrate on my job. It was two hours later when Alicia found me sitting on a folding chair cursing a pen that had run out of ink.
"Laura, I gotta talk to you." She looked upset.
"Sure, what's up?"
Alicia looked around and spotted some people who were within hearing distance. She grabbed my arm, "Come on, let's find someplace to talk."
We found an empty dressing room. She got right to the point. "Gee just broke up with Eve. He told her the wedding was off."
I tried to hide my emotions. However, inside my head I was doing the happy dance. "Did he say why?" I asked.
She shook her head. "It was weird as fuck. She came on the bus and kissed him hello. He looked at her, smiled and then told her he wasn't gonna marry her." Alicia laughed, "It was fucking funny really. The look on her face was priceless. She started sputtering and he just walked off down the hall to the practice area in back.
"So she just left?" My fingers were crossed.
"Fuck no. She followed him down the hall, cursing him. That cunt has a fucking dirty mouth."
I tried no to laugh. Sometimes Alicia cracks me up. "So she didn't take it well."
"You could say that and she's not the only one. Ray asked him what the fuck he was doing."
"So Ray thinks he should marry Eve?"
Alicia shook her head sending her braids flying. "I guess but I really don't know. I kinda think it's just the guys all thought that it would be good for Gee to get married and settle down." I could tell by the way she looked she wanted to say more.
"Alicia why don't you just say what you're thinking?'
"Look Laura, I know you slept with Gee so this is kinda hard. I mean when I heard about you guys I didn't know what to think. I mean I'd just heard about you and some chick and then suddenly I was hearing about you and Gee." She stopped when she saw my smile. It took her a minute and I swear I saw the light bulb go off over her head. "Oh holy fuck, you weren't with a chick you were with Gee who was dressed as a chick."
I looked around to make sure no one was listening. "Yep that chick was Gee."
Alicia grew serious. "Laura don't take this wrong but what the fuck are you doing? I love Gee, he's my brother-in-law for fucks sake but the guy is pretty strange. Mikey has told me some stuff but I know there's a lot more he hasn't told me. Why do you want to be with him?"
I looked away, "Alicia, he makes me feel alive. My relationship with Alan wasn't all that good and it was the closest thing I ever had to a real relationship. When I'm with Gee I feel desirable." I decided to tell her the truth. "I know he's using me and I don't care cause in a way I'm using him too."
She looked so confused. "I just don't know what to say. Just don't get hurt okay?" She threw her arms around me and gave he a hug.
"I won't." I said not believing a word of it."

Hours later after the concert one of the local crew handed me a candy bar. "No thanks" I said trying to hand it back.
"Uh, Gerard Way told me to give it to you." He said before walking off.
I turned it over in my hands and saw that it was a Wonka Bar. Shit, I realized I was smiling like a fool. I took my fingernail and split the package open. The candy bar inside was wrapped in a gold paper. It was all I could do not to start dancing around singing "I've got the golden ticket, I've got the golden ticket."
My fingers were trembling as I read the writing on the gold foil paper. "You have won. The bearer of this golden ticket is entitled to all the sweets she can handle. A car will be waiting at 12:30 to transport you to your destination."
Well hells bells it was almost mid-night. I practically ran to my bus to change clothes. I was almost there when I spotted Ray standing by the bus. "Laura" he said my name in greeting.
"Hi Ray," I said trying to catch my breath.
"This really isn't a game, you know." He said quietly.
I didn't know what to answer. "What do you mean?"
He sighed, "Laura you seem like a nice girl. Too nice for Gee. Stay away from him."
I was shocked, "I thought he was your friend. How can you say that about him?"
He took a step closer to me. "He is my friend, I love the guy but I know him. You're playing a game you don't understand. You can't win. I'm telling you this for your own good. Stay away from him."
Shit, I hate it when people are cryptic. "Ray, thanks for the warning but I'll take my chances. I don't know where you're coming from. You told me not to hurt him and now you're worried I'll be hurt? I'm confused."
He took out a cigarette and it, "Why did he break up with Eve?"
I fringed ignorance, "Why don't you ask him? How the hell should I know?"
"I did ask him but he wouldn't say."
"Well maybe cause it's none of your business." I snapped.
He glared, "Everything he does is my business." He took another stop towards me, "Tell me Laura, why did he break up with Eve?"
"Because I'm gonna marry Laura" Gerard stepped out of the shadows.
I tried to decipher the look that passed between the two men. They locked eyes and glared at each other. Ray finally looked away. "You're making a fucking mistake," he said to Gerard.
"Thanks so much for your support" Gerard said in return.
The anger in Ray's voice dripped venom, "You've had my support since day one, asshole. She's a nice person, why do you have to bring her into this?"
I hated that he spoke like I wasn't there. "I'm really not so nice."
Both men turned to look at me. "Well I'm not" I said lamely.
Ray shook his head slowly. "Don't do it, Gee" he said softly and turned to walk off into the darkness.
I looked over at Gerard who was looking down at the ground. "He's right you know? You're too nice to get involved with me."
I moved closer to him. "You decided and there's no going back."
"I told you after you made your decision you could change your mind." He reminded me softly.
I couldn't lose him. "Yeah, well you're a lot fucking nicer than me. I say you can't change your mind. You made your decision now you have to live with it."
He seemed uncertain of what to do. I pushed him. "Look" I said pulling the paper out of my pocket. "I have the golden ticket, I won. Don't tell you you're gonna be a pansy ass and not give me my prize."
His eyes met mine. "What if you don't like the prize?" he said in a dangerous voice.
"I'll take my chances. You haven't given me anything I haven't liked." I used my best purring voice.
The fire in his eyes flared, "Just be sure little Laura. Once there you can't turn back."
"I understand," I answered. In reality I really didn't understand.
He walked off into the darkness and I took the step of my bus two at a time. I went inside to get ready. I was trembling and I wasn't really sure why. I guessed it was a bit of desire and fear all rolled into one.