Categories > TV > Stargate: SG-1

How To Piss Off A Linguist

by StarMadison 0 reviews

Did Jack forget an important date? Or had he? Written for a story challenge over on LJ.

Category: Stargate: SG-1 - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Published: 2007-08-13 - Updated: 2007-08-14 - 1646 words - Complete

Disclaimer: I do not own them. Asha, however, is all mine. She's copyrighted by me.


A muffled curse stops Asha in her tracks and after looking around her, she makes her way to the door and eases inside the large room. Her eyes land on the hunched figure sitting at the desk. Holding back a sigh at the sight, she silently padds towards him. "What did he do this time?" She speaks up once she is directly behind him. Bright blue eyes lock onto her own dark ones as the man spins around to face her.

"Oh. It's just you."

"I don't know if I should feel insulted or complimented, DJ. Just me?" Her voice holds a teasing lilt to it as she folds her arms over her chest and waits for him to answer her original question. "Well?" She nudges him verbally as soon as she sees that he is not about to answer, moving towards the table and leans against it. "DJ, I'm just as stubborn as you, if not moreso. Spill or I'll go track him down and get the answers I want."

"He forgot. Again."

Asha frowns, her eyebrows knitting together as she resettles herself more securely against the desk and turns the words and tone they were spoken in over and over in her mind. "Are you sure he forgot, DJ? It's Jack. It doesn't sound like him to forgot something." She pauses for a long moment then clears her throat. "What did he forget?"

"Our anniversary."


"I can't believe he /forgot/, Ash! That infuritating, stubborn son of a bitch....."

"Whom you love. And who loves you. You knew his faults before you started a relationship with him. Besides, weren't you the very one who said, repeatedly I might add, that it was those traits that caused you to fall in love with him in the first place? His motherhenning made you feel comforted, his stubborness gave you hope that he would always stick by you. Don't make that face at me, Daniel. I'm quoting you here." Amusement laces her voice as she speaks, grinning at her best friend and lifts her foot to press it against his knee, pushing him backwards a little. "Oh hush. Grumbling won't change anything. Especially not that you love him."

"He forgot, Ash." Daniel knows that he sounds like a broken record but unable to let go of the fact that Jack forgot about their anniversary. "What if he's bored with me? What if he decides that this isn't for him? What if....."

Rising to her feet, she looms over her friend, scowling down at him. "You can what if yourself to death, DJ, but that won't change the fact you are sitting in here, whining to yourself when you should go talk to Jack." Her face softens, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezes. "Look, I know you need reassurance but sitting here in semi-darkness won't solve a thing. Now you have two choices. You go find him or I will."

"Can I have a third option?"


"Hiding in Teal'c's quarters?"

"Nope. I'm going to speak to him first and warn him not to let you in. Same with Sam. Now pick."

"Is this party open to everyone?" A new voice cuts in and both linguists turn towards the door where the topic of their conversation stands, staring back at them. "Well? Open or closed?"

"Oh, it's very much open, Jack. DJ needs to speak to you and I was just about to be on my way out." She slips past the confused colonel, patting him on the arm as she moves pass. "Good luck. You'll need it." With those words, she is gone, leaving the two men alone in Daniel's office. She pauses halfway down the hallway and looks over her shoulder and sighs. "Definitely gonna need all the Irish luck you can scrap together, Jack." Shaking her head, Asha heads to locate Teal'c and Sam to warn them to stay away from both Jack and Daniel.

Jack stares after Asha's fast retreat then his gaze swings back to his lover, a frown instantly taking up residence on his face as he notices the body language. "Danny? What's wrong?" Carefully approaches the other man, as if he was a wild animal and gently places a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, talk to me. What's bothering you?"

"You forgot."



"Danny, you have to be a little more clear then that. What do you think I forgot?"




The silver-haired man does not like that resigned tone of voice coming out of his lover's mouth. "Danny, forcryingoutloud, just tell me!"

"Our anniversary."

"...Oh for....Daniel, I did not forget. Do you really think I'd forget such an important date?"

"What?" That familiar brown head lifts until a pair of blue eyes are locked on his own. "You didn't? Then why didn't you say anything?"

"I did, this morning. Guess you didn't hear me. Now I'm only going to say this once more. Danny, I love you and I'm not about to forget our anniversary. I have plans for us but you are going to have to wait until we get home to find out." Brown eyes glitter in amusement at his lover, the man grinning as his partner relaxes finally.

"I guess that I jumped to conclusions." Daniel grimaces as he runs a hand through his hair, looking up at Jack over the top of his glasses and gives him a small smile. "Sorry." A shake of a head stalls anymore apologizes and a quick grin aimed in his direction makes Daniel feel better. He stared at his partner then shakes his own head.


"Just thinking."


"Not important, Jack."


"Yea. I'm sure."

"You are alright now, right?"





"Go away."


"I have work to do."

"You always have work to do."

"I don't get paid if I don't work."

"Oh right."

"Unlike someone I know."


"Work. Now. Go away."

"You're no fun."

"I'll show you fun. At home."

Grumbling, Jack leaves the office and pauses to look over his shoulder at Daniel who is already leaning over the book opened on his desk and a smirk spreads across his face. He turns on his heel and heads down the hallway, turning a corner then pokes his head into another room. "It worked." He enters the room fully and approaches the African woman sitting in front of it.

"Damn right, it better have. I hate to see DJ so miserable, Jack and I nearly broke twice. You owe me for my part of this little stunt of your's. Big time. I'll get back to you on what I want." While speaking, Asha unlocks the top drawer of her desk, sliding it open and reaches inside to remove a small box and an envelope. "Here. What you asked for."

"Sweet!" He eagerly opens the box, removing the two keys nestled on the chain and his smile grows in size as he closes his fist around them before going to look inside the envelope. "Did you have any trouble finding it?" His gaze slides over the paper that details on how to get to where they need to go.

"Honestly, Jack, you forget what family I belong to. No, finding it was a cake walk. I have a cousin-in-law who specializes in rebuilding old vehicles. He'll even give you a good price for it. A very good price. The only reason it didn't take longer to get it ready was because he already had one he was working on and you're lucky that the original buyer had been unable to keep paying for the restoration." Scowls him lightly as she shuts the drawer and turns to face him fully. Her dark eyes serious as she regards him then kicks him firmly in the shin, ignoring his yelp of mingled pain and surprise. "You deserved that. Did you clear the trip with the general? I already spoke with Randy and he's expecting the two of you in the next few days. I also arranged a private jet to fly you to New Orleans."

"Asha, you didn't have to do that. We could have taken a commerical flight." He protests as his eyes widen slightly, holding up both hands. "Yes, I already cleared it with Hammond."

"Jack, shut up. A commerical flight would have tipped him off. He knows that we have family in New Orleans. We did spend summers there and suddenly going there out of the blue like this would send off warning bells in his brain. I also set you both up at a B&B near the French Quarter. Friend of the family runs it and while I know Toya and Randy would want you to stay with them, they probably won't have the room. Not with two kids." The retort flies out of her mouth but the smile takes away any sting to the words. "Just accept the gifts, Jack. My family lives to give." Her voice is soft as she gazes calmly at him then makes a shooing motion with a hand. "Go on, get. I have work to do and you have plans on finalize. I put the number and name to the B&B and Randy's work, home and cell numbes in the envelope. And the place you have to go to find the jet." She turns back to her work, leaving Jack standing there.

He makes a face at her back, tucking the box with the keys inside into a pocket.

"I saw that."

"Yea yea." He turns and leaves the office, pausing in the doorway and looks up and down the hall before grinning widely and heads towards his own office. Absently pats the small bulge where the box rests over his heart. "Sweet."
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