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Chapter Four: Last Year's Wishes

Rated R

I got off the phone with Kendra and went to her house. I could tell something was wrong. My instinct was that something went wrong with Brendon. I knocked on the door and Kendra opened it. She looked awful. "Kendra, what's wrong?" "Come in and I'll tell you." I went in and we went to her bedroom. "It's Brendon." "What did he do?" "I went to the mall after school. And I, oh god." "What?" "He was making out with some girl." "The bastard. I told Ryan I had a bad vibe about him. Did you say something to him?" "Yeah, get this. He said he was giving the bitch CPR?" "What a jerk. Let's go and get some ice cream?" "No, I just want to stay here." "Okay, let me see what you have?" I went downstairs and got some popcorn and pop for us.

My cell went off. "Hi Ry. What's up?" "Where's Kendra?" "I'm actually with her. Your so called friend hurt her today." "Brendon said she just took off." "So he must of forgotten the part where he had his tongue down some girls throat." "Yeah, he didn't tell me that. Can I come over to see you?" "I don't know." "Please baby." "Alright, but don't you dare bring Brendon. I'm going to try to get her to eat something and then have her sleep. I'm going to spend the night." "Alright. See you in a little bit." I walked up to Kendra's room. "I made some popcorn." "Okay, thanks. Can you spend the night? My parents are going to be gone tonight and I don't want to be alone." "Sure. Can I borrow some pajama pants?" "Yeah, they are in the drawer."

We ate some popcorn and talked. Kendra wanted to sleep some more so I went to the spare bedroom when heard the door bell. I went to answer it. "Hi Ryan. Come in. Kendra is asleep." "Okay. How is she?" "How do you think? How would you feel seeing me with some guy making out?" "I'm sorry. Don't get mad at me." "I'm not. Just upset with Brendon. Come on to the bedroom, so we don't wake her." Ryan and I went to the bedroom. He laid on the bed and I went into his arms.

Ryan and I started kissing. "Barbara, are you sure that you don't want to have sex?" "I want to, but I"m scared." "We'll go slow. And I won't rush things. I don't want to pressure you. I shouldn't of asked." "No, it's alright." I kissed his lips. Ryan took off my shirt. "God, your beautiful." Ryan kissed my chest above my bra. "Ryan, I don't think we should do this in Kendra's house." "Alright." But he continued to kiss me. I played with his hair. Ryan moved down to my waistband of my jeans. "No! Get up! I can't do this." I pushed Ryan off of me and put on my shirt and ran out to the living room.
I started crying and felt arms around me. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't of pushed you." "It's not that." I put my head on his shoulder. "What's wrong, Barbara." "Nothing." "Something is wrong. I can tell." "Ryan, please I don't want to talk about this." I started sobbing. "Come here baby." I cried into his chest. He carried me to the bedroom and laid me down. He was about to leave. I grabbed his arm. "No, stay with me Ryan." "Are you sure." "Yes, I want to sleep in your arms tonight." Ryan climbed into bed with me and held me. For once I felt really safe. I fell asleep right away.

The next morning I woke up and Ryan was gone. I noticed there was a note on the pillow.

Barbara,
I had to leave. My parents didn't know I was gone. I'm sorry. I'll see you in school. We need to talk about this. Don't think I'm letting you off this easy. I love you so much.
Ry

I smiled. I never thought I would find someone to love me like him. I went to see Kendra. I knocked on her door. "Ken, I'm leaving to get ready for school." "Alright. I don't know if I'm going or not. I really can't see Brendon yet." "I understand. Talk to you later." I left and went home. I opened the door slowly. I never did tell my uncle or aunt where I was going. I closed the door and turned around. "Where were you?" "Tom, you scared me." "I asked you a question." "I was at Kendra's. Her parents were gone for the night and she wanted me to stay with her." He grabbed my arm. "What are you doing?" "I'm going to teach you a lesson. You don't leave without telling me or your aunt were you are going." He pulled me upstairs. "No, stop." He pushed me into my room.

I knew what was going to happen. He started to unbuckle his belt. I tried to get to the door but he was to fast. He pushed me on the bed and pulled my jeans down. "Please, stop. Why do you do this?" He slapped me. I could taste blood. He pushed himself inside of me. I cried out. "Shut up, bitch." After he was done I got off the bed and sat in the corner. I wanted to get as far away from him. He came by me and took my arms and pulled me up. He threw me down. I just laid there. Next thing I knew he kicked me. "You better get ready for school. I don't want you late." He finally left.
I laid there for awhile. The phone rang but I just let the answering machine pick it up. "Babs, it's me Ry. I just wanted to know if you got home yet. I'll meet you at school. I love you." I just cried harder. Finally, I got up and got ready. I left and walked to school. I put my books in my locker. "Holy hell. What happened to you?" It was Brendon. The last person I wanted to see. "Nothing. Leave me alone." "I'm getting Ryan." I grabbed him. "No, please. I need to ignore him today. I don't believe I'm going to ask you this, but will you help me?" "Tell me what happened." "No, it's none of your business. Oh, never mind." I walked away. "Barbara, I'll help you." "Thank you, Brendon."

Somehow I made it through the whole day without seeing Ryan. We had the last class together, but I decided to go home. I laid on the bed and thought of my mom and dad. Why did they have to die? I wanted a better life than this. Someone knocked on my door. "Yes." "Barbara, Ryan is downstairs." My aunt said. "Mary, can you tell him I'm sick?" "He looks really worried." "Okay, thank you." I fixed my make up a little and combed my hair and went downstairs. "What's wrong?" "Nothing, Ryan." "I haven't seen you all day and you weren't in class. Oh my god. What happened to your face?" "Nothing. Please leave." Just then Tom came home. "You must be Ryan?" "Yeah." "Nice to meet you. You better be taking care of my niece." "Oh I am, sir." "Good. I'll leave you two to talk." He went into the house.

"Please Ryan, just leave it alone." "Something is going on and I'm going to find out what." With that he left. I wanted to yell after him. I went back inside. I started supper and we ate. My aunt went to work for the night. I went to watch TV. My uncle came into the living room. "Ryan looks like a fag. Is he?" "Stop it. You aren't going to start tonight." He picked me up and threw me down. He kicked me in the stomach over and over. I tried to get up, but was so dizzy. "Ryan, help me." Next thing I remember was hitting my head on the coffee table.