FicWad

Your fingertips across my skin/The palm trees swaying in the wind/Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies/The sweetest sadness in your eyes/Clever trick
I never want to see you unhappy/I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover/Goodbye my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you/Can’t you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance/My back is turned on you/should’ve known you’d bring me heartache/Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street/You took my hand and danced with me/Images

And when you left you kissed my lips/You told me you’d never ever forget these images/No/I never want to see you unhappy/I thought you’d want the same for me

Goodbye my almost lover/Goodbye my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you/Can’t you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance/My back is turned on you/Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache/Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean/I cannot drive the streets at night/I cannot wake up in the morning/Without you on my mind

So you’re gone and I’m haunted/And I bet you are just fine/Did I make it that easy for you to walk right in and out of my life?

Goodbye my almost lover/Goodbye my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you/Can’t you just let me be?
So long my luckless romance/My back is turned on you/Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache/Almost lovers always do

*
They were supposed to be best friends. Band mates. Brothers with no blood shared. That was as far as it was supposed to go. They were both happily engaged, to women. Both grown men, not dependant on each other. So what had changed? What had gone “wrong”? Friends weren’t supposed to kiss each other intimately, while caressing one another. Neither were sure when it happened, but it had and now there was no turning back. They claimed their undying love for the women in their lives, but when the screaming fans were gone and they were sleepless on the bus, their women weren’t there to keep them company. They took to keeping each other company, their sexual frustrations let out on each other. No one likes having sex alone, so why not with your best friend? Why not with someone that you trusted and didn’t judge you? No one knew what happened between the two of them. Of course the onstage antics, the kissing, licking, groping turned heads and got the fan girls going, but everyone thought it ended when the house lights came on and the equipment got packed away.

“Oh god, Frankie, yeah, right there. Do that again.” Gerard moaned into the mattress

“Oh shit, I’m gonna…..I’m coming. God damn, I’m coming.” He yelled, voice muffled into the fabric

Frank pulled out shortly after, coming inside Gerard and lay down next to him. He watched Gerard pant, coming off his orgasm and smiled when those beautiful hazel eyes met his.

“You are so fucking amazing.” Gerard managed to get out

“So are you. You’re so tight, I’m surprised I can hold out as long as I do.” Frank said

(That’s right, Gerard’s the bitch in this relationship)

Gerard lay still a moment, before gently turning him self over to lie on his side. He faced Frank and traced his finger over his bottom lip. He loved Frank’s lips. So much fuller than his, then hers. His face contorted slightly, thoughts of his fiancé creeping into his mind after one of the best orgasms he’d ever had. Frank noticed and spoke cautiously.

“It’s okay, I know what you’re thinking. I’m thinking the same thing. How can we do this and not think about them?” he said

“You know me too well. I love you Frankie. I do. Not just as a friend or as my brother. I love you more than I love her.” he said taking Frank’s cheek into his slender hand

“I love you too Gerard. So much, too much.” He replied smiling

They shared a sweet kiss and drifted off to sleep. Both knowing the morning meant being “friends” again. At least no one thought anything of them always sharing a hotel room when they got one. The less everyone else knew, the better.

The tour was coming to an end and Frank wanted time alone with Gerard before he went home to be ambushed with wedding plans. He suggested to Gerard that the two of them should try to sneak away for a week or two. Just the two of them. Claim it was work related. They wanted peace and quiet, away from distractions, their women. Gerard agreed. They stayed in a small motel on the outskirts of Madrid, Spain. They made love most of the time. Both came to the agreement that when they went back, they were going back single men. Both planned to break off their engagements. Finally. After two years of sneaking around, they wanted to come clean. They wanted to be together. They wanted everyone to know it. They wanted the fan girls suspicions to ring true. They loved each other and they didn’t care who knew it.

While Gerard was out one afternoon, Frank called Jamia. He knew it was taking the chicken way out, breaking up with her over the phone, but he was planning to go to Portland with Gerard. Jamia was upset to say the least. Every obscenity anyone could think of poured from her lips in endless strings. She wanted answers. Why after all these years, why was she strung along, holding hope of one day being Mrs. Frank Iero, when all along, he was fucking his best friend? Wasting her life waiting for a moment that was never going to come. He told her he couldn’t say anything to make her feel better about the situation. All he could say was sorry. He gave her the house they shared, the cars, the pets, all of it. He was going home with Gerard, he didn’t need any of it anymore. The last word she spoke to him was faggot. For as harsh of a word as it is, that’s what frank was. He smiled. He was a faggot and he was proud of it.

When Gerard returned, he announced that they were going out. They both got dressed in their best and went for a nice dinner. On the way back, they walked along the streets filled with people, hand in hand. They ignored the curious stares of the passerby’s and kept their heads held high, hands clasped palm to palm, finger’s intertwined. A small band was playing on the sidewalk. Right there, in the middle of the street, Gerard wrapped his arms around Frank’s waist, pulling him against him and began to sway with the music. Frank laid his head on Gerard’s chest and they danced in the street until the sky grew dark. They decided to go back to their room, they were leaving in the morning. After some passionate lovemaking, they laid in bed, naked. Gerard was trailing his fingers lightly over franks bare back. His eyes were closed, relishing the light touch of Gerard. His eyes opened when Gerard began to sing. The song was in Spanish and Frank could only make out a few words, but it was the most beautiful sound to him. He recognized the song as one of the ones they danced to in the street. He gave Gerard a lazy smile, followed by a kiss, and snuggled into his arms, ignoring the hint of sadness in his eyes. Soon they were both asleep. When morning came, they dressed and headed to the airport. The flight was uneventful. Both of them sleeping most of the way. They landed at Newark and waited for their luggage. Frank’s came, but by the time the carousel stopped, Gerard’s still wasn’t there.

“Shit, they lost your bags.” Frank said looking around

“No, they didn’t.” Gerard answered

“What do you mean, they didn’t? Where the hell are they then?” Frank asked

“On my connecting flight.” He answered not meeting Frank’s eyes

“What connecting flight? Where are you going? We were going to stay in Jersey a few days, then go to Portland.” He asked, rather confused

“I’m going to L.A. I’m sorry Frank. I thought I could do it, leave her I mean. I just can’t do it. It’s not you, I love you, but I want to try and make things work with her. Please understand.” He said

“I can’t fucking believe this. I gave up everything for you. Everything! I have nothing now. No Jamia, no house, no car, nothing. How can you do this to me? That’s what last night was, a big, final, fuck you. Wasn’t it?” he asked, tears in his eyes

“I’m sorry, Frankie, really I am. Are you okay?” he asked

“Non sono giusto io prometto.” He responded turning to walk away

The tears flowed from his eyes freely. He didn’t care that he was walking through the airport, head hung low, tears streaking his face. His life was officially over. He gave up everything for the one person he thought would never hurt him and now, he was alone and his heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. He walked outside and got in a cab. He had the driver take him to the only place he could think of. After the cab stopped and he paid the driver, he walked up to the door, set his bag down, and rang the doorbell.

“Frankie! What are you doing here?” his mother asked rushing him into the house

He walked in, took his coat off and set his bag down by the door. He looked up at her and immediately she took him in her arms.

“What’s wrong baby?” she asked running her hand over his head

He spilled the whole story out to her, cheating on jamia, breaking up with her over the phone, letting her keep everything he had built his life around. Then the toughest part came out. He told his mother he was gay and he left jamia for Gerard, only to have it explode in his face. She assured him that she always knew he was gay, even when he was a young child. She knew Jamia was a facade, a way to try and disguise his true self. She said if he was straight, they would have married a long time ago, instead of Frank dragging it out as long as he did.

“You’re not disgusted by me?” he asked

“Never Frankie. You are my son and I love you. What disgusts me is Gerard. The way he treated you. That’s disgusting Frankie, not who you chose to love.” She said

He ended up staying there until the next tour started. He hadn’t spoken to Gerard at all. Of course, he thought of him constantly. Everything reminded Frank of him, but he tried to push it away. When the tour resumed, he kept to a separate bus, sharing with Ray and Bob. Especially when he had seen her with him. He brought her on tour. Flaunting her right in his face. The shows were a lot different. He was different. He kept to his side of the stage. Hardly moved at all, none of the hyperactive Frank from past shows. No groping or kissing Gerard. He didn’t even dare go near him. Gerard kept to the middle or ventured to Ray’s side. Like he knew Frank didn’t want him in his space. When they headed back over to Europe, she didn’t come. Frank was relived. He couldn’t stand seeing them together for obvious reasons. The rest of the band had their own reasons for being happy she wasn’t there. None of them could stand her. While they were doing the Download Festival, Frank was a bit on the energetic side. The multiple cans of red bull gave him a high. During I’m Not Okay, he got a wild urge and sauntered over to Gerard. Without notice, he griped his head, forcing it to his and kissed him. His tongue darted out and flew into Gerard’s mouth and before he realized what he was doing, Gerard had stopped singing to kiss him back and even announced it to the whole crowd. Frank ended it and walked away like nothing happened. After the show, Gerard chased him down.

“Frank! Damn it Frank, slow down.” Gerard said practically at a full run behind him

Frank stopped but didn’t turn around. Afraid of what Gerard might say to him about the kiss. He busied himself by lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. He slowly turned, feeling Gerard directly behind him. His eyes slowly met his as he exhaled the blue smoke.

“What the hell was that?” Gerard asked

“What?” he responded feigning innocence

“You know what. That kiss, what the hell was that about?”

“I was just having a little fun. No big deal. Didn’t mean anything.” He said turning around again

“I’m sorry.” Gerard said simply

Frank paused again, but didn’t turn around.

“I thought I could do it Frank. Marry her, I mean. I can’t do it. She’s not here because I called it off. I told her everything. I don’t love her. I love you. I want you. I want to be with you, forever.” He said

Frank’s eyes instantly glazed over. He knew he shouldn’t let Gerard get him back that easy, but he couldn’t help it. Gerard was his weak spot. He’d do anything for him, no matter what it was. He turned around again, dropping his cigarette and grounding it out at the same time. He looked up at Gerard standing five feet from him, tears in his eyes. Pleading with Frank to say something.

“Ora siamo giusti.” He said looking at Gerard, a small smile pricking the sides of his lips

“I love it when you speak Italian. What the hell did you just say?” he asked

“We’re okay now.” He said

Gerard closed the space between them and lowered his lips to Frank’s. He had been wishing for this moment since the day he left him in the airport. He knew he shouldn’t have gone back to her, but he just had to be absolutely sure. He discovered what he had known all along. His place was beside Frank. No matter what. Him and Frank, forever. After they broke from the kiss, they both smiled stupidly at each other like a couple of teenage girls. Gerard took Frank’s hand and led him back to the busses. They boarded, still holding hands and sat on a couch, instantly curling into each other.

“It’s about time you two fairies made up.” Bob joked walking by to go in back

“What?” Frank questioned

“Oh please, we’ve all known for years that you two were an item. I’m dense, but I’m not that dense.” He said over his shoulder

That night, they got to stay in a hotel. As soon as the bus pulled up, Frank and Gerard were off and running towards their room. They were barely in the door and clothes were flying. They collapsed on the bed laughing, and looked at each other.

“Make-up sex.” Gerard joked

“Tons of it.” Frank said crashing his lips to Gerard’s

He pulled away after a minute and stood on the bed, raising his hands above his head in a sign of victory.

“Long live Frerard!” he yelled at the top of his lungs

Gerard just laughed at him. His youthful innocence floored Gerard. He was so completely in love with the naked man standing above him, jumping like a five year old.

“Get your sweet ass down here and fuck me raw.” Gerard growled

“With pleasure.” Frank said dropping onto the bed next to him

After some extremely satisfying make-up sex, they laid staring at each other.

“Don’t you ever, and I mean ever, leave me again.” Frank said

“I don’t plan on it. I’m nothing without you. My place is by your side. Forever. I love you Frank, I want to be with you until my little black heart stops beating.” He said

“I love you too. The last few months have been hell. That’s all behind us now. You are mine, I’m yours, and I’m never letting you go again.” He said

“I am yours. Do with me what you want.” Gerard said

Frank got an evil smirk on his face.

“Anything?” he asked with a raised eyebrow

“I said anything.” Gerard said

“Fuck me. Hard.” Frank said

“Whatever you want baby.” he said getting up and climbing on Frank

After a few hours and continuous banging on the wall from Bob, they laid wrapped in each others arms, entirely spent. Frank watched Gerard’s eyes drift shut and sighed. He was happy again. The reason lay sleeping soundly, head on his chest.

“Goodbye almost lover, hello forever lover.” Frank whispered placing a sweet kiss to Gerard’s forehead then closing his eyes as well