FicWad

Japanese Volcabulary:

hanyou: half demon

Oi: hey

Hai: Yes

Onichan: also means older brother

----------------------------

Episode 20: Relization

It was growing close to the middle of the day and not much had changed with the group. It was still abnormally quiet. The black haired hanyou sighed before slowly glancing over her shoulder. Golden brown met light brown. Kagome snapped her gaze back to the front, blushing madly.

'This has been going on all day,' she thought. 'But, I still can't believe what happened. Inuyasha, he... he kissed me on the cheek...'

She felt her cheeks burn once more at the events just before the memory. 'I was sure he was going to actually kiss me. Inuyasha's never looked at me like that before...'

Her cheeks returned to normal and she proceeded to think about it. 'So why DID he look at me like that?' She shook her head. 'It was so strange. I just... froze and Inuyasha... his eyes looked so soft... so warm...'

She furrowed her brows. 'But what was that emotion in his eyes? It looked so familiar...'

A flash of memory of another pair of golden brown eyes with that same warmth passed through her vision.

Her eyes widened. 'Sesshoumaru? Wait... Inuyasha had that same look that Sesshoumaru once had... I wonder... That emotion... Could it have been...'

"Kagome? Did you hear me?"

Kagome lost her train of thought as a hand touched her shoulder. She turned her head to spot a blue gloved hand on her shoulder. She lifted her gaze to see Sango looking at her.

"Kagome?" the female monk questioned once more.

Kagome shook her head. "What'd you say? I didn't hear you."

"I said we were planning on stopping for lunch," Sango replied," It's about midday already and the rest of us are getting hungry."

Kagome sighed. "You humans sure do need a lot of breaks, don't you? But I guess we might as well. It won't be any good if any of you collapse on us."

Sango smiled, chuckling. "Yes. Unfortunately, we humans aren't as strong or durable as you half demons."

"Oh?" said Kagome, smiling slightly," so you finally get it?"

Sango chuckled once more, shaking her head. "Come on. The guys are waiting on us."

The female monk turned around, heading back where the two male companions and their younger companion waited. Kagome stared after Sango, smiling slightly.

'A while back, I never would have dreamed of actually joking, kind of, with someone,' she thought. 'But here I am, even smiling, with one of my FRIENDS.'

She closed her eyes, still smiling. 'I still can't get over that word. Friends...'

"Hey, mutt! Get over here or I'll eat your sand-witch!" Kirara shouted back, grinning.

Kagome's eyes snapped open as she glared at the young cat demon, growling. "Don't you even think about it, you little brat!"

Kagome hurried over to where they were already getting ready to eat, her much earlier thoughts of a certain boy of the future, forgotten for what would, most likely, be a long while.

---------------------

It was night time and everyone had managed to fall asleep.... except for a certain white haired boy of the future.

'Why did I do that?' Inuyasha thought, laying in his sleeping bag. 'Kagome... I actually wanted to....' He shook his head, as if that would make the thought untrue. 'But I don't get it. Why? I've known Kagome for more than a month and I've just recently come to realize that I really do think of her as a friend. So... why did I have that sudden urge to kiss her? Why?'

He furrowed his brows, confused and sullen. 'I just don't get it... I'm not supposed to want to kiss my best friend.... especially a friend who's in love with some one else...'

He felt the area around his chest clench painfully, before jealousy started coiling around him. He clutched his chest. 'Aargh!' he cried out in frustration and anger,' Stop it! This is stupid! Just plain stupid! And just way too damn confusing! Why does this keep happening?! Why did I want to kiss Kagome?! Why would I be jealous of Sesshoumaru?! And why the hell does it hurt when I think about Kagome loving him?!'

'Do you really want to know that bad?' The figure from last night asked, quietly, unlike before.

Inuyasha growled, mentally, not questioning his return. 'Isn't that obvious? Of course I wanna know!'

'Even if it'll hurt you more than if you didn't know?' he questioned, solemnly.

Inuyasha paused, blinking, confused. 'Wha-? What do you mean? What do you mean it would hurt more to know and why?'

'Just answer me,' the figure replied.

Inuyasha looked at him, strangely. 'You're acting weird. What's wrong with you?'

The figure sighed. 'Just answer the question. do you really want to know? It would change everything for you and it would hurt more knowing than if you were in the dark.'

Inuyasha's face grew dark. 'I don't like secrets to be kept from me.'

'So have you made your decision, then?' The figure asked. 'This is a very important decision. Choose wisely.'

'Now, you're just being confusing,' Inuyasha replied, exasperatingly. 'What is the big deal? I just wanna know what's wrong with me and you make it out to be like some big life-changing choice or something.'

'Because it is,' he replied. 'So, yes or no?'

Inuyasha was silent, as he really thought about what the figure was saying.

'This really is that big a deal?' Inuyasha asked, quietly.

The figure sighed. 'Now, you finally get it and yes. It is that big a deal.'

Inuyasha was quiet for a little longer before sighing. 'I wanna know.'

'Are you sure?' the figure asked. 'Remember what I said abou-'

'I'm willing to take the risk,' Inuyasha interrupted. 'Now just tell me.'

The figure was silent for a moment before suddenly they grinned. Then, their shoulders started to shake.

'What's wrong with you?' Inuyasha asked, confused. 'Are you gonna tell me or not?'

The figure suddenly burst out in to laughter, holding their stomach.

'Hey!' Inuyasha growled. 'What's so funny!'

'You', He managed out, before another round of chuckles and giggles filled him.

'What?' said Inuyasha, confused. 'What do you mean?'

The figure wiped tears from the corners of his eyes with a wobbly grin in place.

'I can't-I can't believe that you,' a chuckle escaped him,' actually believed,' another giggle,' that I was gonna tell you!'

He burst out into laughter once more. 'You should have seen the look on your face!'

Inuyasha was silent for a moment before...

'WHAT?!!!!!!!!!!!' he cried out angrily,' You mean you were never going to tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'

'Yep,' the figure grinned.

'Why won't you just tell me!' Inuyasha growled.

The figure shrugged. 'What'd be the fun in that?'

Inuyasha's eye twitched. 'I hate you so much right now.'

'Like I've said, you've told me before...'

----------------------------

The next day, everyone was going through all their morning routines and eating breakfast which was, you guessed it, peanut butter sandwiches.

Miroku sighed mentally, staring down at his sandwich. 'Having peanut butter sandwiches for every meal does make you kind of start disliking them...'

He suddenly felt someone tap his shoulder and looked up to see Inuyasha.

"Oi, Miroku," said Inuyasha. "Could I talk to you for a sec?"

Miroku blinked but nodded. "Sure."

He got up and followed Inuyasha.

"Oi!" Kagome said," Where are you two going?"

"We'll be back in a little bit, Kagome!" Inuyasha called back as they went out of the clearing where they had set up camp and into the trees nearby.

Kagome frowned but took another bite of her sandwich.

-------------------------------

Eventually Inuyasha stopped aways from the camp, his back to Miroku. Miroku took a seat on a log nearby and waited. He was rewarded when Inuyasha spoke.

"Miroku...." said Inuyasha," You know, yesterday, when you said I could tell you anything?"

Miroku nodded. "Yes. Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?"

Inuyasha shifted, uncomfortably and looked off to his right. "Yeah. Just promise you won't tell anyone else?"

"I promise," Miroku replied," Now, what's been bothering you?"

Inuyasha sighed. "Miroku... the night I woke up...." He hesitated.

"Yes?" Miroku asked.

"....I kissed Kagome," Inuyasha said.

Miroku stared at him, stunned.

"It was on the cheek," Inuyasha added quickly, hearing Miroku's silence. "But... the thing that's bothering me.... is that it was only because I almost really kissed her."

Silence stretched across the clearing, filled with anticipation and anxiety.

"....That's what's been bothering you?" Miroku said," That you kissed Kagome?"

"Hai," Inuyasha nodded.

"Inuyasha," said Miroku," there's nothing wrong with wanting to kiss Kagome. She is rather pretty in her own way."

"But it's not just that!" Inuyasha cried, spinning around to face him. "I'm jealous of Sesshoumaru! Everytime I think of her with him, it hurts! And the worst thing is that I don't know why!"

Miroku stared at Inuyasha's frustrated face in realization. 'So, it's more than just him wanting to kiss her.... No. It seems it's far deeper than that....'

"Inuyasha..." he murmered.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Inuyasha said, head bowed.

"Inuyasha, I may be wrong," Miroku said," but..."

"But what?" Inuyasha asked, peering up through his bangs.

"Could you..." he said," Could you be in love with Kagome?"

Inuyasha stiffened in shock at Miroku's words.

"Could you be in love with Kagome?"

"...be in love with Kagome?"

'...In love with Kagome?'

'You couldn't have just left it alone, could you?' the figure sighed,' Now do you know why I REALLY didn't want to tell you?'

'You mean,' Inuyasha thought, shakily,' It's true?'

'What do YOU think?' the figure asked.

Flashes of memory went through his head.

----------------------

There was indeed a girl, on the tree, wrapped in vines, with waves of long black hair spread out beneath her and wearing an ancient green kimono that showed a lot of leg. Her eye color was unknown, hidden by closed lids and long lashes. Her face looked calm and peaceful, and her skin gave a soft glow.

'Damn', he thought, his heart pounding slightly,' she's. . .' He felt a light blush consume his cheeks. 'Dammit! What the hell is this girl doing to me!'

-----------------------

'Even then, I thought Kagome was beautiful...'

-----------------------

Suddenly, from behind him, a pulse filled the air. The sound of fighting faded into the background as he turned around slowly, looking at the girl behind him, as another pulse filled the air, slowly speeding up until it turned into a heart beat. The pulsing died down, when suddenly, the girl stirred, her eyebrows furrowing. Then, slowly, she opened her eyes revealing glittering light brown orbs.

Inuyasha's breath hitched as he looked at the girl in shock, as she blinked a few times. Then, she turned her eyes down to him. Her eyes widened in suprise before she seemed to remember something and her expression darkened. "You. . .", Kagome growled," Sesshoumaru! You filthy traitor!"

----------------------

"You idiot!"

Inuyasha and Rin turned at the voice to see Kagome standing fists clenched, looking furious. "What have you done to the Celestial Jewell?! You broke it! How stupid can you be?!" she growled, ferociously.

-----------------------

"Okay", said Inuyasha," I've got that but why do I have to work with. . ." His eyes drifted to Kagome. ". . . her?"

"Hey!" said Kagome," You got a problem with that? Besides, I don't need you. I could find them myself."

-----------------------

'I was suprised to know I had to work with Kagome... but I also felt strangely delighted....'

-----------------------

"Inuyasha", said Rin," How would you feel if you suddenly found out the person you cared about was dead? I think Kagome may have had feelings for Sesshoumaru-Onichan. They spent a lot of time togeather back then. I think they may have even loved eachother."

Strangely, that thought made Inuyasha's heart clench in an unusual way. 'Hm', thought Inuyasha putting a hand to his chest,' I wonder what that was about.' He mentally snorted. 'It's not like I care.' Yet. . . he felt strangely doubtful about that.

------------------------

'Even back then it hurt to know how she felt....'

-------------------------

"Because!" she shouted, spinning aound," It's my fault he's dead! I didn't trust him enough to see that it wasn't him betraying me! It's my fault! I need the jewell to right what i've done! He's dead and it's my fault!" Then quietly. "I need to bring him back."

Inuyasha felt that strange clenching feeling again. 'I've known her only since yesterday! I don't care!'

---------------------------

'It tried so hard to deny it...'

-----------------------------

"Cherish your family while you still have them, Inuyasha", she said, letting go of his arm and leaving the house.

----------------------------

'The first time she said my name...'

----------------------------

"Yes", Korogi said," unfortunately she died a long time ago and her father. . . "

"Shut up!" said Kagome," That's enough! Now why are you here?"

Inuyasha looked at her and seemed to see a flicker of sadness in her eyes and they seemed to be a bit wetter but it was gone quickly so he couldn't be too sure.

------------------------------

'The first time I saw Kagome sad...'

------------------------------

"Hm. . . ", said Rin," It seems to me that when you were in danger, she must of felt some urgency to protect you or something like that and so the bow worked."

-------------------------------

'She wanted to protect me... that thought made me secretly happy...'

-------------------------------

"Inuyasha carried you here", said Rin.

Kagome turned to Inuyasha and smiled," Thank you. That was nice of you."

"I-It was nothing", said Inuyasha, turning around so she couldn't see his pink dusted cheeks. 'What's wrong with me?! All she said was "Thank you."'

-------------------------------

'The first time Kagome even seemed a little nice....'

--------------------------------

Kagome turned her nose from the so called "Sand-Witch." "I'm not going to eat a witch!" she announced, stubbornly.

---------------------------------

'She was so stubborn...'

----------------------------------

"We should start heading off soon", said Kagome, waiting as he grabbed his bag. He walked up beside her as they started to walk off. 'Kagome was acting. . . . nice. Really nice. It's strange but I think I like it.' Inuyasha smiled as he looked at her. She caught his gaze and looked at him, curiously, but his cheeks just got pink and he walked ahead.

-------------------------------------

'The second time she acted nice....'

-------------------------------------

Soon enough, the sun got lower in the sky.

Inuyasha looked back at Kagome who seemed a bit nervous, unsteady, and. . . maybe a little frightened?

------------------------------------

'The first time I saw Kagome scared....'

------------------------------------

"Yes", said Korogi," Every half demon has a night where their human blood becomes dominant, overpowering the demon blood, making them human. It seems Mistress Kagome's is on the half moon."

Inuyasha turned to Kagome. "Kagome! Why didn't you tell me? Now you're hurt."

"Sorry", said Kagome, softly, before she collapsed to the ground.

-------------------------------------

'I was so scared that she wouldn't wake back up....'

--------------------------------------

"Kagome, you're awake", said Inuyasha.

She turned to him, cheeks flushed with the fever.

"Inu. . .yasha?" she said.

"Yeah", he said," It's me."

She smiled, slightly, before it dissapeared and she looked up at him. "Inuyasha. . ."

"What?", he asked.

"Why do you... look so relieved?" she said.

Inuyasha looked at her, suprised by the question. He thought a bit.

"Well...", he said," because. . . I was. . . I thought you were gonna die. I. . . I was. . ."

"You were what?", she said, softly.

"I. . .", said Inuyasha.

He paused. "I was. . . scared. . ."

"You were. . . scared?", said Kagome.

Inuyasha realized what he had said and blushed lightly, looking away. "Well. . . yeah."

Kagome smiled slightly and said," Hey Inuyasha."

He looked at her. "What?"

"Could you. . .", she said," Would you hold me?"

"What?" said Inuyasha.

"Could you hold me until I fall asleep. . ." she said.

He looked at her, as if trying to decide if he heard right.

". . .please?. . ."

With that, he nodded and pulled her gently into his arms, cheeks tinged with pink the whole time.

Kagome smiled softly, closing her eyes, and moving a bit closer. Inuyasha's blush got darker as he thanked that she couldn't see him.

"Hey Inuyasha", she said.

"What?" he said.

"I think I like this", she murmered.

----------------------------

'Kagome had acted so different... and I liked it...'

-----------------------------

Slowly, Inuyasha cracked open his eyes. Two light brown orbs were the first thing he saw.

"Gah!" Inuyasha shouted, startled and he shot up.

"Aaah!" Kagome cried out in suprise to his cry, falling backwards on the ground with a thump.

----------------------------

'She has such beautiful eyes....'

-----------------------------

He looked up at Kagome, who was walking ahead, her long midnight hair, flowing behind her. 'She seemed really upset when she heard that guy took Sesshoumaru's ashes. I know she loves him and I don't care. . . but then why do I feel like that when I think about it?'

Suddenly, Inuyasha found himself faced with a pair of agitated light brown orbs.

"Will you stop staring at me?! It's annoying!"

Inuyasha blinked and Kagome came into view her hands on her hips.

"What?" he said, dumbly, his face growing hot at their close perimeter.

---------------------------------

Chuckle. 'Yet another one of my blush attacks.... I had a lot of those around Kagome....'

----------------------------------

"Oh", said Inuyasha," so that's what that commotion was all about today?"

"Yes", she said," you know what? I'm suprised the spell hasn't effected you, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha glanced at Kagome, but when she caught his gaze, a slight flush filled his face as he looked away.

Sango's lips curved into a smile as she said," But maybe I shouldn't be so suprised after all."

-----------------------------------

'It seemed Sango knew my feelings before I did...'

-------------------------------------

Inuyasha turned his head and saw her glaring after Sango. "What's up with you?"

"Do you like her?" Kagome growled.

Inuyasha blinked, not sure what she meant. "Sure, I guess."

Kagome's eyes turned to slits as she turned away, muttering, as she walked down the other path.

-------------------------------------

'Kagome actually seemed kind of jealous....'

-------------------------------------

Inuyasha suddenly felt guilt settle like a rock in the pit of his stomach and he felt a little sick.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?"

He snapped out of his thoughts as he turned to Kagome, suprised to see concern in her eyes.

-------------------------------------

'The first time I saw Kagome concerned... for me....'

-------------------------------------

Kagome pulled back her hand and crossed her arms, leaning against the side of the hut, like a child who had been denied a sweet.

--------------------------------------

'She looked kind of cute when she pouted....'

--------------------------------------

"Hmph," said Kagome, not hearing his warning, and before Miroku could stop her, she stepped into the clearing.

"I don't see what's so spe-" she started.

She was suddenly cut off as she felt waves of heartbreak and sorrow flow over her, strong enough to make her collapse to her knees. Every sad memory she ever had seem to merge togeather into a pool of sadness that settled inside of her, making her heart almost ache. She felt her bottom lip tremble as tears pooled in her eyes, a hopeless sob filling her throat.

She suddenly felt a hand grab the back of her kimono and pull her out of the clearing. Kagome sat there as the sadness ebbed away, leaving her feeling just as she had before she had entered the clearing. She put a hand to her cheek, suprised to feel that they were wet.

------------------------------------------

'Kagome looked so small and vulnerable.... and that was the first time I saw her cry....'

-----------------------------------------

Sesshoumaru, then cupped Kagome's chin.

'What's he doing?' Inuyasha thought, brows furrowed, as Sesshoumaru ran his thumb over Kagome’s bottom lip.

Then, Sesshoumaru kissed her making Inuyasha's eyes widen in shock almost simultaneously with Kagome's.

'Wha- H-He's kissing her?' Inuyasha thought, still in shock.

But then, Kagome sighed, returning the kiss.

'Wha-?' Inuyasha thought, feeling a strange tightening in his chest,' and she's kissing him back?'

---------------------------------------

'It hurt so much.... to be reminded of how much she loved hiim.....'

---------------------------------------

"There's something wrong with your plans, anyways," said Inuyasha, slumping in his chair," In case you've forgotten, Kagome's in love with Sesshoumaru."

"Mm," she said," I'm not so sure about that. Do you still think she'd love him after what he's done?"

He sighed. "Maybe..."

She shook her head. "I wouldn't be so sure. Besides, if you like her that much, maybe you should try going after her yourself."

--------------------------------------

'Even Mom knew how I felt....'

--------------------------------------

Just then, Inuyasha started to stir. He let out a low moan as he opened his eyes. He was surprised to find himself looking down at orange fur. Suddenly, he remembered what happened just before he was knocked out.

'Kagome!'

He shot up, looking around for her.

"Inuyasha," said Miroku.

"Where's Kagome?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Inuyasha..." He repeated, trying to get him to calm down.

"Where is she?" he demanded again.

----------------------------------------

'In that split second I almost thought they were going to say she was dead...'

------------------------------------------

"Kagome!" said Inuyasha, rushing over to her but stopped when scarlet eyes met his.

There was silence before Inuyasha said, hesitantly, confused," Kagome?...."

Kagome turned around and snarled at him, revealing her lengthened fangs, and flexing her elongated claws.

-------------------------------------------

'I almost thought I'd never see MY Kagome again.... and that scared me....'

-------------------------------------------

Kagome finally opened her eyes, breathing heavily.

"Kagome..." Inuyasha smiled, before clutching his neck in pain and collapsing backwards.

--------------------------------------------

'Before I collapsed.... I felt so relieved... that I hadn't lost her for good...'

---------------------------------------------

Inuyasha stopped and turned around to look at Kagome, who was staring at the floor, still holding her knees to her chest. He waited to see if she would continue... she did.

"Why would you want to be my friend?" she asked," Why would you want to be friends with a monster?..."

----------------------------------------------

'I had been surprised to wake up that night and see Kagome as a human.... but I was even more surprised to know that someone as beautiful and wonderful as her.... thought she was a monster....'

----------------------------------------------

She turned her head away. "You should hate me..." she whispered.

----------------------------------------------

'She really thought I could hate her?'

----------------------------------------------

Then, Inuyasha grabbed her chin and turned her face towards him. Kagome tried not to look him in the eyes but eventually found herself lifting dark blue orbs to meet golden brown. Inuyasha ran his thumb over her still wet cheek, wiping away the last remnants of her tears.

"I just want you to be able to look at me," he said, softly.

-----------------------------------------------

'I hated seeing her cry....'

Flashes of Kagome's face appeared. Angry, sad, happy, determined, hatefilled, sorrowful, crying, scared, worried, concerned, smiling.

Inuyasha didn't notice when he collapsed to his knees or when Miroku came to stand by his side, or how he said his name....

.... but he did notice the single tear that rolled down his cheek and the bitter smile upon his lips.

'I really have fallen in love... with Kagome...'