FicWad

The thing that hurts the most, is that i was actually falling in love with him.
I'd never felt so strongly about another guy, not even Liam really, and we had been dating far longer.
And i liked him.
I actually, truly liked him.
Like as a person.
I didn't even know guys like him exsisted.
He managed to fill every specification for my perfect guy.
And what i loved most of all, was that i could trust him.
Thought i could anyway.
And when you feel so strongly for someone, and care for them and trust them as much as you do, the more it hurts when they decieve your trust and all the faith you put into them.

I keep saying to myself that Ryan's a nice guy, and not a cheat,
but i know that it;s just what i want to hear and not the truth.
As much as i try and trick myself into somehow believing that it's all just a some very strange and horrible missunderstanding, and there must be another impossible explanation for it all and that Ryan really is the good guy i thought him out to be, i know that there really is no other sane explanation for it all, and that i need to face the facts, Ryan Ross isn't everything i thought him to be.
They never are.

It was about 1 O'clock in the afternoon and i was curled up on the window sill in mine and Courtney's bedroom, looking out into the bright blue clear skies of Las Vegas.
We leave tomorrow, and for that i was pretty thankful, for the timing that is.

Delilah walked in and closed the door gently behind her.
'You OK?' She asked timidly.
I gave a half-hearted nod and gazed out of the window again.

She came over and immersed me in a hug.

'Um...Brooke?' She said, releasing me 'why is the floor covered in wool and fluff?'

I glanced to the corner of the room where a now half torn and massacred , once stuffed panda bear by the name of George lay.

'Oh i see' She said following my gaze.

'He just called round' She said quietly 'Urgently begging if he could see you and if you were ready to talk with him yet, but i told him where to shove it, is that OK?'
I nodded.
'Good, and i suppose i ought to tell you he asked me to tell you how it was all a lie, blah , blah , blah and how he must have been set-up.'
I snorted.
'I know.' Said Delilah. 'But enough about him, he's just a buttmunch, and we only have today left of our holiday, i say we make the most of it and don't let some stupid ruffle wearing band hobo ruin it.'

I gave a hint of a smile at her words.
'Thanks Deli but i really don't think i'm up to it yet,maybe later on.'
'OK, sure.' She nodded 'but i'm not letting you say no to coming out for some lunch with us.'

I noticed Chelsea and Delilah were being extremely tactful about the whole thing.
They were even going as far as to make sure that we didn't dine in the same cafe as we had with Ryan.

Courtney was unusually quiet about the whole event i'd noticed.
She hadn't really mentioned anything about it.
Not that i expected her to rub it in my face or anything, i dunno if she's that harsh-well maybe if i wait a month or so she will, and i definately did not expect her to give any comforting words of advice either, so i guess she just chose not to say anything on the subject at all.

Though she has been a little more kept and quiet than usual lately, but i assume it's to do with her feeling ill.

I wached her across the table from me, pushing her salad across the plate with her fork.

Chelsea noticed too.
'Why aren't you eating anything?' She asked.

Courtney shrugged
'Dunno, just lost my appetite i guess. I must have some sort of bug or something.'

'Maybe food poisoning?' Suggested Delilah.

My phone beeped; another text from Ryan.
He had given up trying to call me , cos it was plain that i just wasn't going to answer.
So he;'s now sending me pages of texts.
I refuse to read them though.

'Food poisoning makes you throw up.' I said shaking my head.

'Well if your still like this back in England i think you should take a visit to the doctors.' Said Chelsea.

That's right, even though Courtney lives in Paris she's coming back to England to stay with me for a while whilst her dad and my mother 'catch up' on things.
Her father wants her to have a taste of the English life again, you know, go back to her roots. Thinks it will do her good.
But still, means i have an extra week left with Courtney.

Courtney grimaced 'euch, no way'

It was pointless trying to argue with her and there was noway she she wasn't going to be pursuaded otherwise, well by us at least.
Remember, she was the queen, and the queen always has the final say.



Courtney broke out in feverish night sweats again that night.

It was about 2 in the morning and and i was lying awake staring at the ceiling.
I was taken out shopping but it didn't go very successful.
I just trailed after the others, lost in my own thoughts. My own very very depressing thoughts,

I was thankful when Courtney said she didn't feel well again so i offered to take her back to the condo.

I got out of bed and got a cold flannel for her which she plopped upon her head, without even a 'thanks'.

I was annoyed that she was still awake because she'd notice if i'd start to cry and that would be kinda awkward.

But it wasn't her fault, so i offered to get her a glass of water, which again she accepted without any signs of gratitude.

I crept back into bed. It was silent apart from the occasional sip of water from Courtney.
Our last night in Vegas.
And a single silent tear slid down my cheek, unoticable in the dark.
This wasn't how i wanted the holiday to end.