Categories > Games > Tekken

Cooking With Marshall

by Gai 1 review

The first Tekken cooking fanfic! Really, this has never been done before...well, once.

Category: Tekken - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor, Parody - Published: 2005-12-24 - Updated: 2005-12-24 - 704 words

Disclaimer: I don't own Tekken, nor would I want to, because I'd get sick of being harrassed by parents who'd accuse me of marketing violent games to kids and opportunist politicians who'd try to make themselves look like heroes who saved children from a negative influence. I'll stick with the less offensive Pong.

Announcer: And now it's time for Cooking With Marshall!

Marshall: Welcome to another episode of Cooking With Marshall, where contestants compete for fabulous prizes! Today's guests are Kazuya Mishima and Lee Chaolan!

Lee: Hi, Marshall, it's great to be here!

Kazuya: I wish I could say the same thing, but you're here.

Lee: Shut up!

Kazuya: Go to hell!

Lee: You're just jealous because Father liked me best!

Kazuya: Like I care if he ever loved me...a tear falls down Kazuya's cheek

Marshall: Now, our first dish shall be...........steak!

Kazuya: Steak?

Marshall: Steak.

Kazuya: .....I thought you ran a Chinese restaurant.

Marshall: Marshall China went out of business because of trouble. So, I started a new restaurant, Marshall America!

Kazuya: Oh, then I'm sure Uncle Sam over there would love it.

Lee: What's that supposed to mean?

Kazuya: Ever since you went to America to learn business you've been obsessed with the country! You don't even speak anything but English anymore, Dad had to hire a translator when you got back!

Lee: At least I know how to start my own company instead taking over another by throwing the CEO off a cliff!

Kazuya: Yeah, then I hired your ungrateful ass!

Lee: Oh, that was great, you made me head of the research department, I had to work with that nut Boskonovitch!

Kazuya: What was wrong with Boskonovitch, he was the top scientist in his field!

Lee: All he did was put boxing gloves on animals!

Kazuya: ...come to think of it, I don't remember him ever making something actually useful...

Marshall: reading a paper Oh, you're done. Anyway, your meal shall be judged by a panel of distinguished food critics. motions to judges You will both be timed as you attempt to create a dish like this sample I've prepared.

2nd judge: Actually, Mr. Law, I thought it was a little overcooked.

Marshall: What did you say...?

2nd judge: I just think your steak was a little over- jaw is broken by Marshall's fist

Marshall: tries the steak What are you talking about? This is wait, you're right, it is a little overcooked. My mistake.

Marshall turns back to the contestants

Marshall: Now, let's-

Lee: with a microphone Before we begin this event tonight, I'd like to show you all Chaolan Industry's latest product! Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce to you, Combot!

Combot enters through the wall

Lee: Combot, how about giving these nice folks a demonstration!

Combot prepares the steak and and places it in a microwave installed in it's chest

Kazuya: Hey, that's not fair!

Lee: I'm sure Mr. Law wouldn't mind, after all, I'm fairly familiar with the rules, being a supporter of the show.

Marshall: Hmm...well, he does-

Lee motions to Marshall threateningly

Marshall: Uh, I suppose I'll allow it...

Kazuya: What? This is bullshit! leaves

Marshall: Well then, I suppose Mr. Chaolan wins by default.

Audience cheers

Lee: Thank you, thank you all! But winning this competition was not my ultimate goal! I came on this show to unveil Combot, and to promote it as the ultimate cooking application! Combot is now available for-

Combot malfunctions and begins killing everyone in sight

Lee: Damn it. It's always with the killing that I have a problem...

Marshall: ...I suppose that's all for today's episode, be sure to tune in next week....if this show's still on...

Announcer: Cooking With Marshall is sponsored by Chaolan Industries, the company that cares about family!

End of Chapter 1...or the story, depending on the ratings this show gets

I don't know what I was thinking when I came up with this, I don't remember when I even came up with it, but I decided to go with it anyway. Don't know if it'll still be a cooking show if I make a second chapter...don't really know a lot about cooking...
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