Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > I've Got the Gift of One Liners
Sorry you guys that it's been like forever, but I've kinda had a bit of writers block and after ficwad being down for like EVER! I have finally returned to you loves. Here is a new chapter for ya. Sorry it's short, but the next'll be better. Thanks a million for reading and I'll thank you even more if you would review this please!!!
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“We may only take comfort in the fact that she is in a better place now. Even though her life may have been short Sarah fought strongly to the very end and will be missed terribly.” The priest said placing his hands on the wooden surface of the podium looking up through his spectacles at the many people sat in the pews. Some were dabbing at their eyes and others were looking just about to cry. Either way you could sense the strong cloud of grief that hung in the air. It was thick and painful.
Bob sat on my left. He had a comforting hand on my shoulder, and his head was hung low. His blue eyes were red and puffy from the tears he had cried. My eyes were just like his, but tears still continued to leak from them.
I looked down at my hands which were wrapped in white bandages. Dots of dark crimson blood were present on the wrapping around my palms. The worst injuries were on the back of my hands and my knuckles were the glass cut me.
In a fury of rage I had punched out two windows. All I really can remember is doing that and breaking down into a sobbing mess screaming at everything. Pain had built up to its limit and I just let it out in that action.
Mikey was the one who found me after I had begun to feel a bit drowsy from loosing blood. He got me to the emergency room in time and I spent the night there. Everyone was shocked to see that I had done that and hurt myself.
Physical pain had become something that felt numb to me. It seemed now the only pain I could feel was the pain in my heart. The pain of knowing that the women I truly loved is gone and she is never going to come back to me to brighten my world with her love.
When I saw her body lying in the open casket she looked as if she were only sleeping and she was going to wake up and everything would be fine, but sadly it didn’t happen no matter how hard I wished it to. Her eyes remained closed and her chest still.
A part of me wished also that Mikey could have left me when he found me. Not done anything at all to me and left me there on the floor so that maybe I could be with her wherever she may be as soon as my blood ran out.
I know she would never want me to think things like that, but it’s just so hard to bear with these painful feelings that I have inside.
I just want some way out of all this.
Anything.
*
“I’m worried Ray.” I said quietly leaning up against the now shut door of Frank’s room. We had stopped at a hotel before we would head up to Jersey so the guys could be with their families and we would also go back to Kansas soon after.
Ray looked down at the floor putting his hands in his pocket. He looked back up at me nodding.
“I am too.”
“I know he needs his space so we should best just leave him alone for awhile, but just be sure to check on him okay.” I hated being this worried about him. Maybe I was just being a worry wart, but I can just sense something bad in my gut.
“We will. Don’t you worry.” He assured kissing my forehead. A small smile came to my face.
“I’m gonna go to bed.” Ray said heading for his room.
“I’ll be there in a bit.” I called to him heading in the direction of the bathroom. I looked in the mirror for a moment. The black dress I had worn to the funeral was still on and my makeup was far from perfect. In my eyes I could see the clear fatigue and loss that my body felt. Everyone felt that way.
I pulled my head band out of my hair and took the hair tie around my wrist off using it to tie my hair up in a messy bun. As I removed my makeup from my face I took the moment to just try and attempt to clear my mind. So many things filled it and felt like it was about to explode.
After I had all the makeup cleared from my face I threw away the paper towel I had used and headed up to Ray’s room cause that’s where I left my pj’s and I could really use a good night’s sleep.
*
My eyes again for maybe about, the thirtieth time that night opened and refused to close. For the past few hours my body wouldn’t go to sleep and I had tried so many things, but nothing worked.
Seeing that empty space next to me just hurts me every time that I open my eyes and there’s no one filling it like before. My arms felt empty without the warm body I once used to hold close.
I rolled over so I wouldn’t have to look at the empty space. On the nightstand I saw the still unopened bottle of sleeping pills I had bought. Right about now I was growing pretty desperate for sleep and was willing to do anything for just a few precious hours.
Snatching the bottle in my hand I screwed off the top dumping a couple pills in my hand downing it with a glass of water. I didn’t like the chalky taste, but soon I was finally asleep.
And at least in my sleep I didn't have to feel pain.
*******************
“We may only take comfort in the fact that she is in a better place now. Even though her life may have been short Sarah fought strongly to the very end and will be missed terribly.” The priest said placing his hands on the wooden surface of the podium looking up through his spectacles at the many people sat in the pews. Some were dabbing at their eyes and others were looking just about to cry. Either way you could sense the strong cloud of grief that hung in the air. It was thick and painful.
Bob sat on my left. He had a comforting hand on my shoulder, and his head was hung low. His blue eyes were red and puffy from the tears he had cried. My eyes were just like his, but tears still continued to leak from them.
I looked down at my hands which were wrapped in white bandages. Dots of dark crimson blood were present on the wrapping around my palms. The worst injuries were on the back of my hands and my knuckles were the glass cut me.
In a fury of rage I had punched out two windows. All I really can remember is doing that and breaking down into a sobbing mess screaming at everything. Pain had built up to its limit and I just let it out in that action.
Mikey was the one who found me after I had begun to feel a bit drowsy from loosing blood. He got me to the emergency room in time and I spent the night there. Everyone was shocked to see that I had done that and hurt myself.
Physical pain had become something that felt numb to me. It seemed now the only pain I could feel was the pain in my heart. The pain of knowing that the women I truly loved is gone and she is never going to come back to me to brighten my world with her love.
When I saw her body lying in the open casket she looked as if she were only sleeping and she was going to wake up and everything would be fine, but sadly it didn’t happen no matter how hard I wished it to. Her eyes remained closed and her chest still.
A part of me wished also that Mikey could have left me when he found me. Not done anything at all to me and left me there on the floor so that maybe I could be with her wherever she may be as soon as my blood ran out.
I know she would never want me to think things like that, but it’s just so hard to bear with these painful feelings that I have inside.
I just want some way out of all this.
Anything.
*
“I’m worried Ray.” I said quietly leaning up against the now shut door of Frank’s room. We had stopped at a hotel before we would head up to Jersey so the guys could be with their families and we would also go back to Kansas soon after.
Ray looked down at the floor putting his hands in his pocket. He looked back up at me nodding.
“I am too.”
“I know he needs his space so we should best just leave him alone for awhile, but just be sure to check on him okay.” I hated being this worried about him. Maybe I was just being a worry wart, but I can just sense something bad in my gut.
“We will. Don’t you worry.” He assured kissing my forehead. A small smile came to my face.
“I’m gonna go to bed.” Ray said heading for his room.
“I’ll be there in a bit.” I called to him heading in the direction of the bathroom. I looked in the mirror for a moment. The black dress I had worn to the funeral was still on and my makeup was far from perfect. In my eyes I could see the clear fatigue and loss that my body felt. Everyone felt that way.
I pulled my head band out of my hair and took the hair tie around my wrist off using it to tie my hair up in a messy bun. As I removed my makeup from my face I took the moment to just try and attempt to clear my mind. So many things filled it and felt like it was about to explode.
After I had all the makeup cleared from my face I threw away the paper towel I had used and headed up to Ray’s room cause that’s where I left my pj’s and I could really use a good night’s sleep.
*
My eyes again for maybe about, the thirtieth time that night opened and refused to close. For the past few hours my body wouldn’t go to sleep and I had tried so many things, but nothing worked.
Seeing that empty space next to me just hurts me every time that I open my eyes and there’s no one filling it like before. My arms felt empty without the warm body I once used to hold close.
I rolled over so I wouldn’t have to look at the empty space. On the nightstand I saw the still unopened bottle of sleeping pills I had bought. Right about now I was growing pretty desperate for sleep and was willing to do anything for just a few precious hours.
Snatching the bottle in my hand I screwed off the top dumping a couple pills in my hand downing it with a glass of water. I didn’t like the chalky taste, but soon I was finally asleep.
And at least in my sleep I didn't have to feel pain.
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