Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > The Beating Of Our Hearts
Part 1
I Can't, I Won't Let You Leave
Shadows came through the gaps within the banister, the burning light from the hallway came creeping up the stairs. The darkness reflected on Joshua’s face along with the strands of light, they aligned with patterns. Joshua gripped hold of the wooden stands that held up a pathway that trickled down the stairs offering support to whoever descended down the steps; one by one. At this moment in time, Joshua had no strength to dare walk down to the bottom level, his freight filled up the limbs and veins of his small legs. He stared as he held on tighter with his blanket in tow, the soft material contrasting with the splintered blocks. Sound asleep; Joshua was rudely awoken by the slamming of doors. Hushed footsteps and bangs from the bedroom next door had filled his nightmares and half awake, half afraid, he had removed himself from the comfort of his bed and padded softly to the top of the stairs. He was just in time to catch the fires of an argument between the two greatest beings in his life. His parents;
“What did you just say?” Patrick muttered out of disbelieve, the force of Julies words. There was a haze of anger slamming in the atmosphere as her chest rose up and down. She had slammed the suitcases down just outside the door without head or warning. Whilst peering over the bright luminous screen of his laptop, Patrick raised his glassed eyes to find her standing in the arch of the door without anything to say apart from a well rehearsed phrase. I’m leaving you.
”Well, if you took your head from your work for long enough you would have been able to hear me,” she said sliding her tongue across her lips delicately as a slight smirk appeared from her mouth, as though she were enjoying this. She folded her arms casually and leaned on the wooden frame. Patrick gripped the top of his laptop and shut it down, regardless of the work. She focused on his eyes; they had quivered out of confusion. She leant down so her face was a tad closer though she was nearly distanced away from him. “I. Am. Leaving. You.”
She separated the words, talking to him as though he were a child. Patrick in a sudden grasp of panic stood up fast and kicked the chair away from him. His black shirt fell down where it had been crumpled up. In nerves, he fidgeted with his hat, making it circle around his head half heartedly. She still stood. Her eyes frozen and full of cold. Despising the look on her face, as though she were enjoying it, Patrick walked around the dining room table where he had taken residency with his computer. He began to stuttered; “I heard that, I just don’t understand why.”
“Ugh do I have to go through this?” She said with a roll of her eyes, huffing as though this was terribly tedious for her. Her stance was childish and she had other places to go. By the sounds of her tone, she could not care about breaking this mans heart. Her husband of five years. “I’m leaving you there is nothing more to say. We are over.”
Patrick felt the anger build up inside him. This woman; this woman that he had loved for over five years, sworn a lifetime commitment with, raised a child with was standing there as though they were breaking up after the second date. She had nerve and courage to belittle everything they had known. The shock of her nonchalant announcement had hit every nerve within him. He raised his voice before bellowing, “You’re not going anywhere until you explain everything to me. You expect me, your husband, to just stand here and let you walk out of my life with nothing but a ‘hey Patrick thanks for the memories. It’s been good.’ We have a son for Christ’s sake. Or did you forget?”
“No Patrick I did not forget,” she spat at him with a taste of dissatisfaction tainting her words. “Maybe you forgot that I am the one who slaves after him every fucking day while you work on your precious music writing. Or are you so absorbed in your computer that you didn’t notice?”
”Oh that is complete bullshit and you know it,” screamed Patrick, clenching his fists into a ball and taking deep breaths to calm his temper down. There was fury bouncing off every single cells in his body, boiling like volcano. “The amount of times you have left me caring for Josh is ridiculous. Out every night almost. I don’t even know where you are. I’m surprised he even knows you’re his mum.”
She leaned forward and slapped him around the face. He didn’t flinch. He stood there to state his case. Her breath was more ragged than her calm position before and her chest just rose up and down defiantly. She pushed herself forward so her face closer to his, he could feel the full force of torment. She breathed heavily, “don’t you dare throw that in my face. I need a life. I am sick of seeing these same goddamn walls. I’m sick of this home. I’m sick of you.”
“Oh yeah and where the hell are you going to go?” Patrick said pushing her away from him so he couldn’t smell the linger scent of betrayal on her words. He could almost taste where this was going, he had suspected it all along. He swallowed some words of accusation before stammering; “I know none of your friends have room. And you certainly wouldn’t go to your mother.”
”If you must know, I have met someone else.” She said causing Patrick’s hearts to shatter and sink to the cave of his soul. She could see the pain starting to brim in his eyes and spark with hurt. She sipped at it before saying one last sentence to break him in half, “And he is twice the man you’ll ever be.”
She spun her around before hooking her polished nails into the handles of her bags. Picking them up she began to walk away from him, he grabbed her wrist, making her swirl around with a flicker of her dark red hair. Her blue eyes shimmered deceit. He looked her in the eyes; “Please don’t go. Please stay. I know you still love me.”
Julie began to laugh with malice, she kissed his lips out of spite, “I never loved you Patrick. And I never will.”
She wriggled out of his grasp and started to storm out of the house. She had reached the frozen concrete of the doorstep before Patrick called after her, “What about our son?”
Julie took a deep breath. She took one last detail of her setting; catching the eye of Joshua who was sat silently on the stairs. Looking at Patrick, she muttered, “He’s your problem now.”
She closed the door, Patrick stood there stunned as the crunching of her footsteps was the soft hum of her engine. It drove further and further away until he could hear no more. Patrick stumbled back as the event sank into his skin. Everything was a blur; tears had begun to line beneath his glasses as his hands were shaking. There was a soft bang above him, followed by another and another. They slowly made their way down the stairs until it came to a complete stop at the step Patrick was at. Patrick lifted his head to find two mirrored eyes looking at him.
”Hey kiddo,” Patrick uttered, trying not to show the tears that still lined his eyes. Joshua clutched the blanket within his hand tightly. He fiddled with the soft linen of the comforter, absorbing all the warmth from it.
”I’m sorry daddy,” Joshua said half scared and worried about his father’s reaction. Patrick merely smiled at him.
”Why are you sorry Joshie?” Patrick said, there was a slight chuckle despite everything in his tone.
”I mad mommy mad and now she’s gone.” Joshua spoke quietly in almost tears. Patrick scooped the little boy under the arms and pulled him straight into an embrace. He held the little boy in his arms, stroking the strands of hairs with his arm and refusing to let go.
”Oh Joshie it’s not your fault,” Patrick soothed him, cradling the boy within his arms. He clutched him tighter than he had every done, knowing that he is the closest person in his life right now and Patrick was all Joshua had.
“Is mommy coming back?” asked Joshua timidly.
”I’m sorry Joshua” Patrick said trying not to show weakness to his son, keeping strong for his son. “It’s just you and me from now on.”
***
Ciao Bella
I Can't, I Won't Let You Leave
Shadows came through the gaps within the banister, the burning light from the hallway came creeping up the stairs. The darkness reflected on Joshua’s face along with the strands of light, they aligned with patterns. Joshua gripped hold of the wooden stands that held up a pathway that trickled down the stairs offering support to whoever descended down the steps; one by one. At this moment in time, Joshua had no strength to dare walk down to the bottom level, his freight filled up the limbs and veins of his small legs. He stared as he held on tighter with his blanket in tow, the soft material contrasting with the splintered blocks. Sound asleep; Joshua was rudely awoken by the slamming of doors. Hushed footsteps and bangs from the bedroom next door had filled his nightmares and half awake, half afraid, he had removed himself from the comfort of his bed and padded softly to the top of the stairs. He was just in time to catch the fires of an argument between the two greatest beings in his life. His parents;
“What did you just say?” Patrick muttered out of disbelieve, the force of Julies words. There was a haze of anger slamming in the atmosphere as her chest rose up and down. She had slammed the suitcases down just outside the door without head or warning. Whilst peering over the bright luminous screen of his laptop, Patrick raised his glassed eyes to find her standing in the arch of the door without anything to say apart from a well rehearsed phrase. I’m leaving you.
”Well, if you took your head from your work for long enough you would have been able to hear me,” she said sliding her tongue across her lips delicately as a slight smirk appeared from her mouth, as though she were enjoying this. She folded her arms casually and leaned on the wooden frame. Patrick gripped the top of his laptop and shut it down, regardless of the work. She focused on his eyes; they had quivered out of confusion. She leant down so her face was a tad closer though she was nearly distanced away from him. “I. Am. Leaving. You.”
She separated the words, talking to him as though he were a child. Patrick in a sudden grasp of panic stood up fast and kicked the chair away from him. His black shirt fell down where it had been crumpled up. In nerves, he fidgeted with his hat, making it circle around his head half heartedly. She still stood. Her eyes frozen and full of cold. Despising the look on her face, as though she were enjoying it, Patrick walked around the dining room table where he had taken residency with his computer. He began to stuttered; “I heard that, I just don’t understand why.”
“Ugh do I have to go through this?” She said with a roll of her eyes, huffing as though this was terribly tedious for her. Her stance was childish and she had other places to go. By the sounds of her tone, she could not care about breaking this mans heart. Her husband of five years. “I’m leaving you there is nothing more to say. We are over.”
Patrick felt the anger build up inside him. This woman; this woman that he had loved for over five years, sworn a lifetime commitment with, raised a child with was standing there as though they were breaking up after the second date. She had nerve and courage to belittle everything they had known. The shock of her nonchalant announcement had hit every nerve within him. He raised his voice before bellowing, “You’re not going anywhere until you explain everything to me. You expect me, your husband, to just stand here and let you walk out of my life with nothing but a ‘hey Patrick thanks for the memories. It’s been good.’ We have a son for Christ’s sake. Or did you forget?”
“No Patrick I did not forget,” she spat at him with a taste of dissatisfaction tainting her words. “Maybe you forgot that I am the one who slaves after him every fucking day while you work on your precious music writing. Or are you so absorbed in your computer that you didn’t notice?”
”Oh that is complete bullshit and you know it,” screamed Patrick, clenching his fists into a ball and taking deep breaths to calm his temper down. There was fury bouncing off every single cells in his body, boiling like volcano. “The amount of times you have left me caring for Josh is ridiculous. Out every night almost. I don’t even know where you are. I’m surprised he even knows you’re his mum.”
She leaned forward and slapped him around the face. He didn’t flinch. He stood there to state his case. Her breath was more ragged than her calm position before and her chest just rose up and down defiantly. She pushed herself forward so her face closer to his, he could feel the full force of torment. She breathed heavily, “don’t you dare throw that in my face. I need a life. I am sick of seeing these same goddamn walls. I’m sick of this home. I’m sick of you.”
“Oh yeah and where the hell are you going to go?” Patrick said pushing her away from him so he couldn’t smell the linger scent of betrayal on her words. He could almost taste where this was going, he had suspected it all along. He swallowed some words of accusation before stammering; “I know none of your friends have room. And you certainly wouldn’t go to your mother.”
”If you must know, I have met someone else.” She said causing Patrick’s hearts to shatter and sink to the cave of his soul. She could see the pain starting to brim in his eyes and spark with hurt. She sipped at it before saying one last sentence to break him in half, “And he is twice the man you’ll ever be.”
She spun her around before hooking her polished nails into the handles of her bags. Picking them up she began to walk away from him, he grabbed her wrist, making her swirl around with a flicker of her dark red hair. Her blue eyes shimmered deceit. He looked her in the eyes; “Please don’t go. Please stay. I know you still love me.”
Julie began to laugh with malice, she kissed his lips out of spite, “I never loved you Patrick. And I never will.”
She wriggled out of his grasp and started to storm out of the house. She had reached the frozen concrete of the doorstep before Patrick called after her, “What about our son?”
Julie took a deep breath. She took one last detail of her setting; catching the eye of Joshua who was sat silently on the stairs. Looking at Patrick, she muttered, “He’s your problem now.”
She closed the door, Patrick stood there stunned as the crunching of her footsteps was the soft hum of her engine. It drove further and further away until he could hear no more. Patrick stumbled back as the event sank into his skin. Everything was a blur; tears had begun to line beneath his glasses as his hands were shaking. There was a soft bang above him, followed by another and another. They slowly made their way down the stairs until it came to a complete stop at the step Patrick was at. Patrick lifted his head to find two mirrored eyes looking at him.
”Hey kiddo,” Patrick uttered, trying not to show the tears that still lined his eyes. Joshua clutched the blanket within his hand tightly. He fiddled with the soft linen of the comforter, absorbing all the warmth from it.
”I’m sorry daddy,” Joshua said half scared and worried about his father’s reaction. Patrick merely smiled at him.
”Why are you sorry Joshie?” Patrick said, there was a slight chuckle despite everything in his tone.
”I mad mommy mad and now she’s gone.” Joshua spoke quietly in almost tears. Patrick scooped the little boy under the arms and pulled him straight into an embrace. He held the little boy in his arms, stroking the strands of hairs with his arm and refusing to let go.
”Oh Joshie it’s not your fault,” Patrick soothed him, cradling the boy within his arms. He clutched him tighter than he had every done, knowing that he is the closest person in his life right now and Patrick was all Joshua had.
“Is mommy coming back?” asked Joshua timidly.
”I’m sorry Joshua” Patrick said trying not to show weakness to his son, keeping strong for his son. “It’s just you and me from now on.”
***
Ciao Bella
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