FicWad

Disclaimer:I own nothing.
PS: I hope that the "you have to figure it out on your own" stuff makes some sense.
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I always knew that I was different. When a pretty girl would look my way I would never stumble or stutter like my older brother and the rest of the boys did. I liked to play with my mothers make up when she wasn't home and stare in the mirror at what I could do with the eyeliner and eyeshadow. And some of the other boys gave me tinglings in my abdomen that I couldn't explain till my parents forced my older brother to tell me what erections where for.

"So what do I do when I get one?"

"Touch it and prepare to feel the best thing you have ever felt in you miserable little life."

I smiled and twisted the hem of my tshirt around my hands. "I got one the other day."

"Praytell little brother," Gerards grin threatened to split his face.

"It was in the locker room after gym class." He stared at me with an odd look on his face, "N...no body saw it though."

*

Gerard treated me differently after that. He stoped telling me about the pretty girl that sat beside him in math class. He also grew uncomfortable when friends of mine came around, making me keep my door open when they were alone with me. It really weirded me out. Gerard and I had always trusted each other and could talk about everything, now he was distancing himself.

"Why don't you talk to me anymore?"

"I do talk to you."

"No you don't. You used to tell me about that girl in your math class, what happened to her? Did she move away?"

"Nothing happened to her, she's still there."

"Then why all the sudden stop talking about her? Do you not have the hots for her anymore?"

"Questions, questions. Look Mikey, I just don't think you would want to hear about her anymore."

"Why? It was cute the way you used to go on about her eyes and tits."

"I can't tell you till you figure it out on your own." I gave him a look of utter bewilderment. "I'm sorry but you have to figure it out on your own."

*

The subject was droped and never brought up again, but I still thought about it from time to time. It kind of killed me that Gerard was keeping something from me and that I couldn't figure it out as easily as I usally did when it came to his other secrets. Almost a year later however, all that changed. I found out what he didn't want to tell me and it took Frankie to do that.

Frankie was a boy from my English class. I had never really talked to him before but there were times when I spotted him from across the room and felt those tinglings in my abdomen. The teacher paired us together for a book report that was due in two weeks so we agreed to meet after school at my house.

"Mom...Dad...Gerard I'm home," I yelled as Frankie and I came through the front door. I heard cursing coming from the living room fallowed by a small crash. Giving Frankie a nerves smile I slid open the door to the living room and coughed when smoke hit my face. I had smelled that smoke before, when Gerard came home late from a halloween party stoned and giggling. My brother and one of his friends, Bert, appeared as the smoke disipated and sunk its stinking smell into the walls and carpet.

"Who's your boyfriend Mikey?" Bert asked before surcoming to a fit of odd little giggles on the floor.

I could feel my cheeks flush. "This is Frankie, we're working on a project for English class."

"Did I hear right, does Mikey, my dear sweet little brother, have a boyfriend?" Gerard picked himself up from behind the coutch and eyed Frankie for a few moments before starting to giggle hyrstericaly and join Bert on the floor. I gave Frankie another nerves smile and motioned for him to fallow me up the stairs.

*

"This fucking book is fucking pointless," Frankie snarled as he tossed 'The Perks of being a Wallflower' across my room. The book bounced off the wall and landed in the trash can. "HA, right where it belongs."

I rolled my eyes, cause honestly I kind of liked 'The Perks of being a Wallflower.' "It's not pointless, it's about a teenage boy struggling with mental illness and all the other things that we go through as well."

"But this boy is fucking stupid. He hardly has a clue how to survive in high school and the outside world."

"That, my friend, is his main struggle, it's what makes him interesting. We better write that down, could get extra points for figuring that out." Frankie nodded and scribbled a few words in his notebook.

"Mikey?"

"Yeah?" I lifted my gaze form my own notebook and placed it on Frankie.

"Would you get mad if I told you that I want to kiss you?"

The famiar tingling began in my abdomen as I stared at him. There was a frightened look in his eyes and I wanted so much to make it go away. "No."

A smile grew on Frankies lips as he moved closer and pulled me up so that we were kneeling on the floor across form each other. The tingling in my abdomen grew when he leaned in so that our faces were just centameters away. Out lips touched and my breath shortened. It was a fair contrast to when Julie Howard kissed me at the homecoming dance a month before. Frankies kiss was much more pleasureable and much more real then the hesitence of Julie Howard. The tingling escaped my abdomen when his tongue glided across my mouth. I opened up and let him in to feel around my own tongue and teeth. A soft moan came from his throat as he pulled my body closer so that our chests were touching and his arms could wrap around me. I kissed him back as best I could, marvaling at his taste and the sounds that he was making, wishing that it would last.

But that was as far as we got because a strange little giggle that could only belong to Bert sounded at my door. Frankie and I broke the kiss to see my brother and his skummy little friend staring at us.

"Why stop now I want to see the rest of the show?" I picked myself off the floor and shoved Bert to the ground and cringed at his giggles.

I tried to shut the door but Gerards foot got in the way. "Now you know why I stoped talking about the girl in my math class."

He was right, now I know.